


Whirlwind

by Kosho



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition, Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: All Magic Comes With a Price, Anal Sex, Ascian(s), Au Ra, Au Ra Warrior of Light, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Awkward Cullen, Bad Jokes, Battle Scenes, Bets & Wagers, Binge Drinking, Butts, Confident Cullen Rutherford, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Cullen Smut, Dark Magic, Depression, Deus Ex Machina, Digital Art, Don't Judge, Don't Judge Me, Drama & Romance, Drinking, Everyone is Dead, Excessive Drinking, F/M, Family, Family Issues, Father Figures, Fatherhood, Fear, Fights, Fluff, Goddesses, Gods, Gratuitous Smut, Half-Human, Heavy Drinking, Heroes & Heroines, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Implied Sexual Content, Light Bondage, Loss of Limbs, M/M, Mage Cullen Rutherford, Magic, Magic-Users, Major Original Character(s), Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Mild Blood, Mild Gore, Mildly Dubious Consent, Minor Canonical Character(s), Minor Character(s), Minor Original Character(s), Multi, NSFW Art, Needs More Dinosaurs!, Oh God Yes, Oh My God, Original Character(s), Please Don't Hate Me, Please Don't Kill Me, Plot Devices, Plot Twists, Presumed Dead, Problems, Ratings: R, Relationship(s), Revenge, Separations, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Shameless Smut, Smut, SolAss, Solas Being Solas, Spirit World, Spirits, The Fade, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Time Babies, Tournaments, Travel, Under-Desk Blow Jobs, Vacation, Villains, World Travel, Worth Re-Reading
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2018-05-16 08:19:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 85
Words: 167,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5821045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kosho/pseuds/Kosho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Taking everyone by surprise, Andraste's Herald is the very last thing anyone expected. </p><p>Crossover from FFXIV and Dragon Age: Inquisition.<br/>The one chosen to save the world has already saved one world time and time again, a seasoned pro for this sort of thing. However, she is unlike anything Thedas has ever seen, an Au Ra.</p><p>Now there's a gallery :D! https://www.tumblr.com/blog/dragonfantasyfics</p><p>4/13/16 Edit: Thank you to everyone who has read this! I am currently in the process of re-writing a few chapters, maybe adding in more in between to cover up some of the gaps, and to just try my best to improve upon what I've done so far!</p><p>4/18/16 Edit: Oh my, thank you! 1000+ views, I never thought this would happen ;3;<br/>;~; Forgive the plain name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First Steps

**Author's Note:**

> I took a lot of liberties here. Considering she is an entirely different race, I figure the pairing can sort itself out later. I just got to thinking how well she would adapt to the situation.
> 
> Note: Not quite sure what counts here, it being a different world with seemingly few rules on things. The Inquisitor is 16, so.. yeah.
> 
> The Calamity referred to throughout the story: https://youtu.be/1xOOFCltZuc (Not truly a spoiler, because it occurred before the events of A Realm Reborn, and it will help with the imagery a bit :D)
> 
> Heavensward Trailer: https://youtu.be/dcVSLjvi6W0 (Some spoilers, features Ishgard, Dragoons, the Dragonsong War, and more events featured in the story)
> 
> Heavensward Benchmark Trailer: (not really spoilers, shows some locations, enemies, different jobs and actions including Dark Knight, and Dragoon Limit Break, featured early on in Whirlwind) https://youtu.be/RGOIF_7vuLw
> 
> FFXIV Job Actions (just for an idea of what Yuuki can actually do.) https://youtu.be/kbvv0rgrT4k
> 
> LB3 (3rd stage limit breaks) - https://youtu.be/-e2mYic_qck (A few are used so far)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, considering the overhaul, and taking feedback into account, I added this with the intent to make it the actual first chapter.
> 
> New art to be found: http://tinyurl.com/znrwpwx 

“Remind me why we’re back in Azys Lla?” the girl asked.

She leaned over the railing of the airship, Cid’s pride and joy, the Enterprise. It was no secret she held no love for this place, and to come back so soon after the last incident was probably upsetting.

“Just checking on an abnormality. Reports say there’s a weird hole in the sky, and we’re supposed to go up and take some readings.” Cid said. “What did I tear you away from this time?”

She shrugged a single shoulder, tail swaying anxiously as she searched for anything suspicious. “I was about to take tea with the Lord Commander, nothing that can’t wait.” She told him.

He lifted a hand from the wheel, pointing ahead. “There’s our hole. Hold on, I’ll take her up a little higher so we can get our readings and get out of here, hopefully before the tea gets cold.”

The ship lurched up slowly, shuddering with effort. Clenching her hands on the railing, she looked over her shoulder. It didn’t feel like it usually did, looking to him for some hint that something had gone wrong. He bore a calm expression, smiling when he noticed.

“Scared, Yuu? It’s turbulence, we’re fine.” He assured her.

“I’m not scared. I don’t scare, remember? I’ve only learned to realize that things _always_ go ass up. Not to mention, we both know there’s still Imperials here, I half-expect someone to start firing at us…” she grumbled to herself.

As though strictly summoned by thought, a sound, suspiciously like a gun shot rang through the air. Instinct told her to seek the source immediately, scanning through thick, aether-stained skies, unable to see anything. A large shadow crossed the side of the ship, turning slowly until the sound of alarms and failing systems caught her attention.

“Shit… Yuu, it’s pulling us down. Find whatever you can to throw overboard, I’ll try to get us away.” He groaned, struggling to turn the wheel at all.

Thick smoke obscured her view, digging through the boxes at the back. Cid needed this equipment, rare resources that were hard to come by, and she couldn’t imagine tossing them over to be lost or taken by Imperial troops. Sighing to herself, she glanced back to the hole, struggling to reach the bow of the ship, the thrashing making it difficult. Gripping the railing, she pulled her way up.

“Cid – If I don’t come back, let the Lord Commander know I’ll be late.” She joked.

He reached out, yanking her tail in an effort to stop her. “Don’t be a fool, you don’t know what will happen, you could die!”

Grinning broadly, she pulled hard, swiping her tail free from his grasp, shakily pulling up to stand. “It was bound to happen sometime, just get to safety and don’t worry about me.”

In an instant, she launched herself away from the ship and towards the ominous tear in the sky, knowing it had to be done before he could detain her or the ship could spiral out of the sky.

“Yuuki!” he shouted – the last thing she heard.

* * *

 

There was nothing, absolutely nothing for a time. Dark, silent, like she imagined death would be, except she could still think. Did that make a difference? Maybe it was like a black hole, and she’d simply continue on and eventually disappear…

“Ow, what the hell…” she grumbled.

Spat out unexpectedly, she landed uncomfortably, rocks pressing against her back. Shaking her head, she brought a hand to rest on her temple. Struggling to stand, she took a moment to compose herself and take stock of any potential injuries. Her legs worked, obviously, both arms worked, she could see and hear just fine, and there was no blood.  For her, it had turned out better than expected after all. Raising a hand to the small, jewel-like formation nestled in her horn, she sighed. “Cid, I’m fine, I landed a little hard, but…”

Stopping, she realized there was nothing, no telltale static, nothing. Taking it out, she frowned, deep cracks spread along the surface, the usually vibrant color drained away.

“Perfect. My Linkpearl is busted.” Yuuki sighed. “Where in Llymlaen’s name am I?”

It had taken her this long to realize she had no idea where she had landed. She still had her bag, at least, so that was something worth celebrating. Where did she put her map though? No pockets in the scandalously glamoured outfit she wore, and she never put it in her bag. Patting herself down, she pulled her robes away, magically altered to appear to others as a bra and capelet, one she had found in a dungeon, no longer worth wearing, but it was really flattering. Folded up, she found it tucked safely in the pleats of her robes. Carefully examining it, she flipped through multiple sections. She should have found herself immediately, another feature of Eorzean technology. Was it also screwing up?

“This isn’t possible, this can’t be happening…” she mumbled to herself.

Masses of people, all in different garb walked passed her, talking amongst themselves. She thought to ask where she was, but no one took notice of her, except to walk around her.

“I don’t hold hopes for any resolution today. If you ask me, this gathering was doomed from the start…” a voice said.

“We should at least hear things out. Writing it off before you get there is close-minded foolishness.” Another replied.

Some kind of meeting was about to take place? Maybe she could sneak in with everyone else and get some answers.

‘Gods, I’ve almost forgotten how terrible it feels to have to stop and ask for directions…’ she thought.

* * *

 

Her eyes fluttered open, mismatched orbs searching the darkness. Where was this, and what happened? Everything had been a blur, completely gone from her memory, it seemed. The last thing she could recall was being in Ishgard, on her way to see the Lord Commander for tea, but that was it. A woman stood in front of her, and she looked angry. _Angry at her._ Short, dark hair and piercing dark eyes that reminded her entirely of some predatory beast, the scar marking her cheek signaling a history of some manner of combat. The sword at her hip suggested she was, at the very least, a Gladiator. Still waking up, presumably from unconsciousness, as the lack of memory and the ache in her head told her, she missed a lot of what was said. What she could gather was that some place called ‘The Conclave’ was destroyed and everyone but her had died as a result. Without certainty of what had happened, she couldn’t say, but it was entirely within the realm of possibility that she had caused it. Why, she couldn’t say either. Perhaps everyone had taken note of her and become hostile, in that case, it would have only been a desire to protect herself, right? The woman gripped her wrist, drawing her attention to a flickering mark on her hand. That _definitely_ hadn’t been there before. The angry woman demanded an explanation for it, and her, now in full defense mode, assumed the worst.

“I don’t know what that is, but why don’t we say what this is _really_ about? You kidnapped me and brought here to torture me, didn’t you? Is this a personal grudge, did I wrong your family, or is this more about the trophies? The horns? My tail. That’s it, isn’t it? How much will they fetch you in your _human_ markets?” she spat accusingly.

An unfortunate reality of growing up different. Every day brought about new challenges, others of her kind making war on her family daily, humans from the other side hunting her people down for sport, or to sell collected horns and tails, scales taken for armor and adornments. She tensed, glaring in the opposite direction now.

“You may as well come out. I can’t see you, but I can hear you. Muted breath, steady steps. At home in the shadows, some manner of Rogue?” she called.

Another woman came from the shadows, holding the first back. So there it was, they needed her for something, something only she could do, perhaps? A bargaining chip in the event that she did indeed make an attempt on her life. Her words had given the dark haired woman pause, the look on her face indicating she had no idea to what she was referring.

“I do not want your parts, nor have you wronged me personally. I only want to know if you’re to blame for the explosion.” She insisted.

Yuuki tested the shackles holding her hands together. Despite how weathered and rusty they looked, still far too sturdy to break by sheer force alone. The woman with the scar bent down, unlocking the cuffs, and to her dismay, there were coils of rope preventing her movements as well. She jerked her up forcibly, leading her out the door, where accusing eyes met hers. No time to wonder about it, because a burning pain fired through her hand, the glowing mark flickering erratically. Gods, what had they done to her?

“I won’t lie. We need your help to close the Breach.” She began, drawing her attention to the menacing hole in the sky. “We can’t say for sure if even you can, but if we do nothing, we all die, even you. That mark will spread and kill you.”

She clenched and relaxed her hand a few times. Seven hells, that was one unpleasant ultimatum. Help us, or die, and be responsible for everyone else dying.

“Fine. If you’re willing to go so far, I’ll help.” She grunted.

She helped her up, gentler this time. The dagger she pulled made her wary, pulling away as much as she could. The woman laughed, quietly, hard to pick up on, even for her sensitive hearing.

“I’m not going to hurt you. I’m cutting your binds.” She told her.

Eyes narrowing suspiciously, an almost white jewel standing at odds with a rosy eye, ringed in wine red fixing on hers, Yuuki thrusted her hands out towards her. As she said, she cut away the rope, and for the first time in who could say how long, she felt relief, red marks crawling up her wrists, interrupted only by thin black scales along her wrists and up her arms. All around her, the one word that kept repeating itself being ‘Qunari’, though even for her, that word was unfamiliar, and it made her somewhat anxious. It could have been a call for her head, for all she knew. Keeping pace with the tall woman, she kept her head down, a misguided attempt to make herself a smaller, less threatening target. They walked a substantial distance, when the woman stopped suddenly. She lifted her head to see what the reason was; creatures she couldn’t identify standing in their way. Without hesitation, the strange woman drew her sword, jumping down the snowy bank, urging her to stay back. For a Gladiator, she was horrible at distracting enemies from her teammatesone creeping back in her direction. Feeling around for her staff, she couldn’t find it. There was one nearby, but it was worn and splintering, looking like it would have made a more effective club. She raised her hands defensively, a barrier forming in front of her, waving one to the side, twining spires of ice bursting through the ground.

‘Halone be praised, at least there’s some manner of aether here…’ she thought to herself.

Turning her hands now, flames shot up, and for a moment, she felt free, truly free. Until the woman scolded her.

“Stop!” she shouted.

Sheathing her sword, she strode back up the bank, bending low to get right in her face. Not entirely physically threatening, and yet she found her intimidating.

“What’s the problem, we’re safe, aren’t we?” she asked.  “If you’re worried about friendly fire, no pun intended, I’m not here to hurt you. You clearly were responsible for locking me up, but you’ve yet to give me a real reason to want to.” She explained.

“I suppose I can’t really stop you, we’ve already taken your staff away, not much else we can do about it now.” She sighed, a sound that pulsed with irritation.

“Miss… can you tell me just one thing?” she asked hesitantly.

“What?” she snarled, though she held her hands up in a way that suggested she hadn’t intended to sound quite so aggressive.

“Where are we?” she asked, politely, all things considered.

“On the outskirts of Haven.” She answered.

She continued on, no chance to press for further information just yet. It wasn’t until the sounds of fighting echoed through the stillness that she sped up, rushing ahead. Curious, she followed, eager to see what was going on. There were more of those things from before, and a smaller version of the hole in the sky. The few people fighting seemed to be having trouble fending them off.

‘Nothing for it, though I should warn them…’ she considered.

“Step back a bit!” she warned loudly.

Though none looked back, they did take a few steps back. Silently hoping this, too, would work, she made a small gesture, a move meant to cast a spell instantly, instead of the usual time it took to prepare it. She waved an open hand in front of her, realizing for the first time, how much of a pain using magic was without a staff to channel the aether through. It took all of her focus to let it loose it in the right spot, safely away from the gathered few. A large, writhing mass appeared between the creatures, expanding and collapsing on itself with a forceful explosion. It earned her a suspicious look from the woman, though she said nothing. In the heat of the moment, someone reached for her hand, drawing it towards the hole, pain firing through her nerves again, biting back a whimper. To her surprise, the hole began to mend itself, eventually disappearing. He let go, and she had a moment to identify the source, a bald Elezen, no… no Elezen she had ever seen looked like him. He had interesting eyes, light, but sharp, ears drawn back in a way that reminded her of something, but still too foggy to think it through properly. Someone cleared their throat, and she spun on her heel, looking around, before her attention was drawn down lower. She said nothing, observing in silence, though he saved her the trouble of asking.

“Varric Tethras.” He said simply.

Perhaps he realized the entirety of the situation was incredibly overwhelming and she was struggling to pay attention, avoiding adding details she wasn’t prepared to absorb quite yet.

“ _Thank you!_  Finally, I learn someone’s name.” she sighed, frustrated.

The bald man from before smiled, interesting how pleasant it was compared to the scowls and suspicious glares directed at her until now.

“My name is Solas.” He said.

She liked him, he had manners too. Hopefully that wouldn’t wear away too quickly. She bowed politely, offering her hand, as was only proper. He shook it lightly, before delving into an explanation of his theory, the shorter man telling her that the one who had grabbed her hand before had kept the mark from killing her while she slept. Nice of him, though considering it had been repeated a few times that she was needed, it was to be expected. Strange company the human kept, taking off ahead once more, the rest following in relative silence. She leapt gracefully over what seemed to be a downed fence, following after them. A scattering of enemies blocked the path to the next area, which abruptly parted nature from civilization. They approached a stand, the other woman from before was standing behind a man that seemed busy. In this light, she could make out red hair peeking out from under her cowl, beginning to introduce her, though thus far, she had yet to introduce herself.

“I know who she is.” He spat angrily.

It offended her deeply, even the angrier of the two women hadn’t spoken so rudely, and she had every reason to suspect her guilt. The minute the word ‘execution’ came up, she became a bit unsettled. The woman, whose name she still hadn’t heard mentioned, tentatively identifying her in her mind as ‘Grumpy’, began to argue with him, bordering on harassment. She should have bit her tongue, but she could scarcely remain silent at a time like this.  

“I don’t care who you are. No one has the right to speak so rudely to me or anyone in my company.” She scolded.

Her hand rose, a fire rolling back and forth in her palm. The quiet woman grabbed her hand, shaking her head slowly. “I understand how you feel, but let it go...” she instructed.

“You have no idea how lucky you are.” She grunted, the ball of fire vanishing. “Besides, I’ve got to clean up this mess, and if you think you can execute me, you’re welcome to try, _after_ I set things right.”

He glared down at her, snorting to himself. He and the two women began discussing getting to the Temple, the general concept she got being that he didn’t think they’d make it, Grumpy wanted to get to the Temple, and the red-haired woman, her favorite of the two so far, wanted to take a mountain path, an idea Grumpy seemed very against. The Breach flared up once more, and with it came another, sharper wave of pain, her hand shaking uncontrollably. The one they called ‘Seeker’, still  asked for her opinion, as if the time was appropriate, distracted as she was.

“You actually think I know enough about this situation to make a decision like this, and let’s not forget, I’m your prisoner. Prisoners don’t get to make choices like this.” She groaned, squeezing her wrist in the hopes of alleviating the ache.

“Normally, you’re right. Circumstances are a little… unusual. Without you, this is meaningless, as a result, I’m deferring to you on the matter.” The Seeker explained.

Weighing the options, she took a moment to take in the scenery. If people went missing in the mountain, that implied it was a risk, and yet, if they went, there was a chance they might find them. The pain was making it imperative to get there quickly, however, and for that reason, a direct charge sounded better.

“What are we waiting for, the fastest route is our heading.” She said. Sparing a glance to the man, she scowled at him. “ _If I_ make it through this, if any of us make it through this, my offer still stands. Try and kill me if you think it will help, but I guarantee I won’t go down peacefully. Better men than you have tried and failed.”

Striding past him, the small group headed down the path and out the gate. It didn’t take long before they found another of those small tears, soldiers and creatures scattered about.

“We’ll need to get through the demons and seal this to get to the Temple.” The not-quite-Elezen said.

“Figures…” she replied.

It had been some time since she actually had to use this particular job, trying to remember her rotations. Passing a hand over her eyes, her vision becoming sharper, more focused. Hands shimmering for just a moment, meant to focus her attacks, make them stronger.

“Fire, fire, fire, ice, flare, convert, ice, fire…” she muttered under her breath.

Given the number of enemies, area attacks were preferable to single-target. Pinpointing her precision once again, she focused large circles of fire on the ‘demons’. The fires swirled, raged, and dissipated, like normal, repeating several times before it was time to switch, the same twining towers of ice sprawling up. More demons poured from the rift, just in time to meet with the pulsing energy as it exploded and collapsed, as before. Switching her stance, she stood idle for a few short seconds, taking a deep breath before spraying more ice – then switching to fire. In combination with the attacks of the others, the second wave ended quickly enough. When she was certain that was it, she raised her other hand towards the rift, trails of energy connecting from her palm directly to it, pulling it closed. Again, no time to think, a man was approaching across the field. His attention was on the Seeker, who he addressed as ‘Lady Cassandra’. So that was her name. It didn’t seem to fit her, in her mind. Cassandra seemed far too feminine for a woman with such prowess with a sword. Looking him over, she tried to guess his name. Thor? Adam. Torrad? Objectively speaking, he was attractive, and his fighting style was reasonably solid. Formal, too, which she liked. He gave her a questioning look, gesturing to where the rift had been. 

“I didn’t do it. It was the prisoner’s doing, Commander.” She told him.

He turned to look at her, glancing down, though for once, she didn’t mind. She grinned, just a little. By way of introduction, she flicked a nervous wave.

“I hope they’re right about you. We’ve lost a lot of people getting you here. “he said.

It made sense that he might be upset with her too, at least he didn’t appear to be quite so aggressive about it. As a courtesy, she bowed politely.

“You’ve no reason to worry, sir. I agreed to help, and I don’t intend to cause any trouble.” She assured him.

She realized her bag was safely tucked away still, bending to dig through it for a moment. She grabbed a stack of vials, putting it back, holding them out in offering.

“I… apologize. I didn’t mean to cause casualties. Please… for the living, give them these. It won’t fix any injuries, but it will help…” she mumbled nervously.

He glanced to Cassandra, who shrugged, obviously just as confused. He took them, nodding once, turning to leave.

“I’ll make sure they get these. The path ahead is clear for now.” He instructed. Pausing, he looked over his shoulder at her, warm amber eyes, kindness hidden somewhere in them. “Maker watch over you. For all our sakes.”

Yuuki didn’t know who he was referring to, but there was more pressing business to attend to, instead of overthinking it. She leapt off a ledge, the others following. Freezing in her tracks, she dropped to her knees, gasping in pain, not the mark this time, no, the influx of memories so sharp that it was physically painful. The sight of still-burning corpses and ash-littered grounds had caused too much to go through her mind at once, this reminded her of too many things.

“You okay there, kiddo?” Varric asked.

He dashed over, grasping her arm. Pulling her back to her feet, holding her steady for a moment.

“I’ll be fine. It’s…something that happens from time to time.” She said, unwilling to elaborate.

She stumbled along slowly, until her balance returned, her stride once more quickening. Details were often enough to gain insight, especially in unfamiliar situations. Instead of trying to fully comprehend the picture spread before her, she decided to ask, taking in the ruined walls, scattered red jewels, or what she thought might be jewels, and a rift in the center of it all.

“Is it a safe assumption that this is where that Conclave you mentioned was?” she asked.

“You… truly don’t remember?” Cassandra countered with her own question.

Before she could assure her she didn’t, she heard a voice. Several voices, mentioning a sacrifice, a woman asking for help, and a call for someone to ‘Slay the Qunari’ There it was again. That word she didn’t recognize. The reasoning seemed to be like an imprint, left behind after the events.

“I have to ask, what in the seven hells does ‘Qunari’ mean?” she grumbled, tired of hearing it by this point.

“I take it you aren’t actually one then. I gathered as much, you’re awfully short, and not nearly as big. They have horns too, which is probably where that came from.” Varric suggested.

She glared in his direction. “I’m not short!” she protested. “And I may not be big, but what you see? All muscle. I’m _very_ much muscular.”

There was no time to continue the conversation, Solas reminding her, albeit gently, that this tear was a priority. This one was different, it seemed. It needed to first be opened and then properly sealed, though he cautioned there would certainly be demons.

“Let’s get this over with, then.” She said.


	2. The Dragon Lady

_Lights. Almost blinding in their brilliance._

Yuuki sat up slowly, bright light filtering in the room, she shielded her eyes against it. Was this Ishgard? The cold wind blowing through the open door, biting at her neck and face supported such a conclusion. There was someone in her room, an Elezen? No, the ears were right, but the features were different. Come to think of it, everything was different. This wasn’t her house, or even any of her Inn rooms, so where was she? These weren’t her clothes either, so who had dressed her and where had they put her clothes? Glancing around, her eyes fell on a black chest on the floor, swinging her legs off the edge of the bed, crossing the room and kneeling to examine the contents.

‘There they are…’ she thought.

Stripping off the odd clothes she had been dressed in, she changed into her old clothes. A rather revealing outfit, to be sure, but after spending out so much gil to glamour her outfit, she was certainly going to wear it. To anyone else, the patterned robes appeared to be a simple black bra, connected at the neck and shoulders to a back grazing black capelet, the bottoms? Matching black bottoms, complete with garters and stockings. Not above practicality, her boots were well suited to a cold climate, black boots lined in fur.

“Seeker Pentaghast wanted to see you at once, ser.” She said, or something to that effect.

In her search for her clothes and trying to unravel the mystery of where she was, she had missed much of what she had said. Heaving a small sigh, she nodded slowly. One step outside was enough to further her confusion; a large crowd had gathered. Shielding her eyes to the sun once more, the strange glow of her hand caught her attention.

‘So it wasn’t a dream after all…’ she thought.

“That’s her, the Herald of Andraste, here to save us!” voices whispered in the crowd, some small number saying it louder.

She had no idea who this ‘Andraste’ was, though she spent no time thinking about it seriously. At least this much was familiar, this was a common occurrence where she was from, if indeed this was a different place entirely. Everywhere she went, people were filled with hope. The Warrior of Light, they called her, a hero to many. Pushing a door open, she walked slowly through the halls, the sound of an argument drawing her attention to the furthest door at the end. Walking in, she stopped. The man from before, engaged in a heated argument with Cassandra. He left in a huff, the door slamming behind him on his way out. Turning back, she noticed the red-haired woman from before. The looks on their faces were familiar too, the look of someone who had never seen her kind before and were trying to decide what to make of her. Her tail swayed back and forth, an emphasis to her discomfort. A hand swiped through her two-toned bangs, sweeping them from her face. Did Jandelaine take appointments here? Could her retainers reach her? Mismatched eyes fixed on them, she sighed again.

“I see you staring. I will save you the trouble, I am an Au Ra. Yes, I’m different, and no, I don’t know if my race actually descended from dragons or not. Hopefully that answers your questions.” She said.

“Forgive me, I didn’t mean to stare.” Cassandra said, looking away.

The door opened once more, and the man from before, accompanied by another dark haired woman entered the room. So many women, a surprise, though not unpleasant. They, too, halted in their steps, pausing to look her over.

“Once more, for the new crowd: I am an Au Ra…” she mumbled.

Of course, this response was preferable to the, albeit rare, unjust anger she had experienced from those who reviled and feared her kind. The room remained silent for a time, and she decided to speak up about it.

“So, still no names?” she asked.

“Ah. Introductions, that’s right. You’ve met our Commander, Cullen. This is our Ambassador, Josephine Montilyet, our Spymaster, Leliana, and I am Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast.” She told her, gesturing to each in turn.

She bowed slightly, a kinder smile gracing her features now. She turned her attention briefly to the Commander, noticing he was still staring, though of a kind she wasn’t accustomed to, harder to identify. Smiling just a little brighter, she turned back.

“I am Yuuki Homura. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” She said politely, voice soft, like verbal silk.

* * *

 

That was the start of her time here. A few days had passed since then, and this particular morning, she felt particularly conversational. Not as though she hadn’t spent what little downtime she had managed speaking with others there, of course. This morning, her attention fell on the one person she really hadn’t had the opportunity to speak with. She stopped to watch the soldiers sparring, following their movements with measured consideration.

“They’re good. Could be better.” She commented offhandedly.

The Commander turned to face her for a moment, furrowing his brow when he noticed she had changed. Armor this time, not that it covered much more, though the silver complemented her tan skin well. Her entire midsection was bare, shimmering black shorts that looked ill-suited to protecting from much of anything, and boots extending from her thighs down, black also, with white accents, a strange glow running along the lines between the two. Interesting choice, though it left so little to the imagination. He quickly brought his gaze back up, keeping his focus on her face. Thinking it would surely be better to look there, instead. Her lips were a light, playful pink, twisted into a smile that felt like a divine blessing, a thought that made him remember she was supposed to be Andraste’s messenger, definitely off-limits.

“It’s been rough going, but I’m trying.” He stated.

Taking a closer look, he noticed a sword at her side and a shield on her back, both looked as though they had been made entirely from ice. Wasn’t she using magic the other day?

“I could help, if you wanted.” She offered.

She was making this a challenge, whether she realized it or not. He had to fight back the urge to say ‘I’m sure you could’, the very idea making him nervous. He turned back to watch the troops, scraping a hand through his hair and against the back of his neck. A sound caught his attention, trying to find the source. Her tail was steadily thumping against her thighs. Watching the sparring once again, she must have realized he was looking, speaking once more.

“Do you want to touch it?” she asked.

He cleared his throat, unsure what to make of the question. “Excuse me?”

She flicked a nod downward. “The tail. Most are curious when they see it. You can touch it if you want.” She clarified.

Truthfully, it had come to mind. Hesitating, he pulled away one of his gloves, reaching down. Glad that no one was watching, concerned someone might think he was touching something else entirely. He ran his hand over it slowly, surprised that it felt much softer than the rough appearance suggested. Some places looked almost uncomfortably pointy, whereas the top appeared to be almost like feathers. His hand accidentally brushed the back of her thigh, quickly pulling it back as though he had been burned. Her skin was hot to the touch; no wonder she wore so little. Replacing his glove, he attempted to make conversation.

“I’ve never met anyone like you before. Where are you from? The Marches? Orlais? Ferelden? I can’t quite place your accent.” He asked, mentally kicking himself for picking such a basic topic.

“I… don’t know where any of those places are…” she admitted nervously. “I’m Gridanian, you know? From Gridania?”

It was clear he was lost, confirming in her mind that this was a different place entirely after all. Recalling the numerous tales of how no one could recall the faces or even the names of the previous Warriors of Light, she had to wonder if this was what happened to them. She wondered if they too, simply disappeared one day.

“I don’t know where Gridania is.” He said.

“It’s hard to explain. I’m from Eorzea. Easiest to say it’s… very far away. Gridania is beautiful… waterwheels, lush forests, the clearest water anywhere…” she sighed softly, clearly missing it dearly.

In the last week, she had already been sent off to work, to a place called the Hinterlands. Vaguely curious if her advisors were to be her new Minfilia. Halone, she hoped not. It wasn’t the constant work or travel that bothered her, but the way she always called her away _just_ as she was about to relax. Between her own interests and the missions, they gave her, she had cut much of her free time away, any thoughts of rest vanishing.

“It certainly sounds nice. We have similar places here, but the forests here are usually filled with monsters, wild animals or Dalish elves.” He said.

“Gridania is home to primarily Elezen, that’s…Eorzea’s elves. “she told him.

There was a break in the conversation, keeping watch on the soldiers, he yelled at one of the men. He had horrible form, even though she was certain he must have been training for a very long time. Though he didn’t look away, he resumed their talk.

“Au Ra, do they usually come from Gridania?” he inquired.

“Oh, no. Some come from Limsa Lominsa, by the sea, or Ul’dah in the Desert. Most, it seems, have taken to the outskirts of Ishgard, it’s… cold, like it is here. The architecture alone is breathtaking.” She said, gesturing in the direction of the Chantry. “That’s like a church, right? Ishgard has a grand Cathedral, almost like a castle. Perhaps someday, I’ll draw it out for you, though it’s nothing like seeing it in person.”

She took a deep breath, eyes fluttering shut as she imagined it, and for a moment, it was like she lost herself thinking about it.

“I couldn’t help but notice you weren’t the least bit bothered by the idea of being the Herald of Andraste.” He observed.

“I’m not sure who Andraste is, but where I come from, I’m considered special too. Hydaelyn’s chosen, the Warrior of Light, and any number of other rubbish titles people tossed on me. I’ve been all over, saved Eorzea countless times. Trust me, whatever happened here, I’m confident I can fix, I’m sure it’s not as bad as the things I’ve fought before, sometimes several times over…” she sighed, pressing a hand to her brow.

Well versed in combat, that would certainly be useful. Someone approached him with things to sign, and she smiled kindly, excusing herself.

“We’ll talk again sometime, Cullen.” She said.

He was glad she left. It wasn’t that her company was unpleasant. Far from it, in fact, she seemed very interesting. The problem was with himself. Thoughts that had never occurred to them had crossed his mind, and it bothered him. Things no one should consider when the subject of those thoughts was Andraste’s chosen. He was disgusted with himself, thinking it a rather sad commentary on his life that he hadn’t even bothered to read what he had just signed. The girl had barely been there a week and his work was slacking. Though, to his recollection, that was the first time she had ever addressed him by name, to the point he wondered if she had forgotten or if she was simply so formal she refused to use it.

So far, out of everyone she had met, her personal favorite was Varric. She loved stories, and he told the best ones. About to look for him, Cassandra’s approach stopped her in her tracks before she had the chance.

“Herald, I realize you haven’t had a chance to rest yet, but word arrived that they’ve gathered in Val Royeaux. We need to leave at once to meet with them.” She explained.

Yuuki produced a whistle out of seemingly nowhere, bringing it to her lips, though she stopped. It was no guarantee it would even work here, and if it did, then what? How well would they be received if she showed up on the back of a _gigantic fucking dragon._ Sighing some, she put it away. They were probably walking, but that was fine too.

“I’m ready to go then.” She said, mentally preparing herself for the worst. After all, there had been talk of an execution, but she wasn’t ready to die at the hands of people who couldn’t best her in combat. If anyone so much as tried, they would have to go. Bringing a hand to rest on the hilt of her sword, she doubled her pace to keep up with the Seeker.  Cassandra took note of the peculiar sword, her expression confused.

“I thought you were a mage?” she asked.

“I’m many things. If that’s surprising, just wait until you see what else I can do.” She answered quietly.

Recalling the map she had seen, they were heading halfway across it. A shame there didn’t appear to be an Aetheryte network here, it would have gone so much faster. She had walked all the way across much of Eorzea, this wouldn’t be nearly as bad.

* * *

 

The whole trip had been filled with questions, some she had come to expect from those seeing her kind for the first time, and others that were actually knew. Among them, why her eyes were different, or why the one had a ring around it, to which she had to explain it was called a limbal ring, something of a prominent feature in her race, or why her horns were on the sides of her head, the answer being that they weren’t technically horns in the strictest sense, but rather more like ears for her people.

“Are there males in your clan?” Cassandra asked.

An odd question, weren’t there males in every species and race? She laughed softly, nodding. “We don’t usually refer to ourselves as clans, first, the major distinction begins with variation, there’s Raen and Xaela, two different types, with completely different lifestyles. Raen Au Ra have white features, and tend to live quietly by themselves. Xaela are black scaled, and are perceived as – and admittedly can be, more violent. People lash out towards my kind much more than theirs. Next, comes the groups, I can’t speak for Raen families, but among the Xaela, there are 51 great families.” She stopped, suddenly embarrassed at having gone so far from the point. “Uh…yes, we do have males.”

“What do they look like?” Solas wondered aloud.

“Much like any other, in a sense. Taller, more muscular. Their horns tend to be longer and slenderer, and oh, so very tall.” She explained, pausing to look at him. “I’m not sure if you’re considered tall here, but they’re about another fulm or so taller than you.”

They reached the gates, walking through. Yuuki sighed to herself, putting her helmet on, an ugly thing only used to obscure her face. If these people were fearful of her existence without actually seeing her, it was probably better that they didn’t get a good look. Reaching back sneakily, she tugged at the band of her shorts, tucking her tail in as best as she could manage. It wasn’t completely hidden, but better this than not at all. Entering the central area, the group approached a platform. She turned to face Cassandra, her voice low, barely whispered.

“Wait, this group of old women is it? They’re what was so scary? Well…I mean, I guess there was that time…” she trailed off, before picking up once more with renewed interest. “Do they do anything? They look like White Mages.”

“Herald, these women aren’t mages, and their word could see you killed, please, try to take this seriously…” Cassandra urged, gesturing towards them.

Yuuki folded her arms across her chest, mentally tuning the woman who spoke out. It probably wasn’t important anyway. A small group of men clad in armor walked through, and she was certain the one who seemed the most in charge addressed her, but still, it wasn’t enough to catch her interest. Aside from being yet another group that was trying to discredit her, they hardly seemed threatening.

‘ _Pssh. With that crappy armor? No big deal…’_  she thought.

Just in case he felt like fighting, she brought a hand to rest on the frozen hilt of her sword, stepping closer. The top of her head falling a bit below his chin, she had no choice but to look up to face him.

“So, I’m to understand that you don’t see that giant hole in the sky as a problem?” she challenged, glaring up at him, deciding to press her luck. “I suppose it’s not as though you could help anyway. You don’t look like you could cut your way out of a worn burlap sack.”

More self-important mutterings, the equivalent of ‘You’re garbage, and we’ll deal with this.” Or something similar. When they left, she dealt with a few smaller matters. A woman nearby offering food and supplies for the Inquisition, an invitation to someplace she had never heard of, from some woman with a fancy name. Lastly, an arrow shot near her, leading to some terrible treasure hunt just to piece together some kind of clue. After a short discussion with her small party, they were able to mark the location of the meeting on the map, a matter of waiting until the indicated time. Might as well deal with the two meetings before heading back, a waste to leave and come back.

If this was to be her new home, she would protect it with no less than all she had…


	3. Smile...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki's past has returned in the form of bad dreams, struggling with a heavy loss while work calls her to make a choice.

Yuuki sat up with a start, grasping her head, sighing softly. She thought she was past that dream finally, though the familiar tightness in her chest said otherwise. The light filtering through the windows revealed that it was morning, but she couldn’t bring herself to get up, not now. Rolling over, she buried her face in the pillow, shouting in frustration. The hot sting of tears forming, almost shameful to her. Her greatest failure replaying in her mind, those words that haunted her echoing in her thoughts.

_“Oh…do not look at me so, a smile better suits a hero…”_

_‘Where was I when you needed me? Where are you with that smile?’ she thought bitterly._

That loss hadn’t been too long ago, and the wound was still fresh in her heart. She wasn’t as over it as she imagined, after all. The door opened, and the sound of footsteps caught her attention, growing louder with every step.

“Hey, you okay, kid?” Varric asked

She turned over, sitting up slowly. It shamed her to be seen like this, tears streaming down her face, unbecoming of a divine messenger, let alone someone who was supposedly a hero. Wiping her eyes, she forced a smile, for the sake of her lost friend’s memory. Hope Incarnate, he called her, and yet she felt more hopeless like this.

‘No, not really, but I’ll survive.” She said, choking on the word ‘survive’.

Varric sighed, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “What’s the problem? It helps to get it out sometimes…”

She repeatedly rubbed her still-moist eyes, taking a deep, shaking breath. “I lost a very dear friend, Haurchefant was his name. He died protecting me.” She said, meaning to leave it there, but it felt so _wrong_ _._ “No…he was so much more than that. Where he comes from, people don’t trust easily, and he never once made me feel unwelcome. He was the kind of person that never frowned, never failed to be there when you needed him. Encouraging too, I would have gladly given my life for his. It wasn’t very long ago, and sometimes, my mind likes to remind me that I couldn’t save him…The one time he truly needed me, and I failed him.”

Varric listened, mulling over what she said before he finally spoke, his words carefully chosen, though they still stung. “I hate to tell you this, kid… it’s practically a rite of passage for heroes to lose people they care about. This story right here? Your story? I can already tell you that more will be lost before it ends. For the sake of your friend, you should try to carry on…”

To anyone else, it might have sounded like she shouldn’t bother to mourn, but he was right. If she was to save this place, she would surely have to deal with losses in spades. That shouldn’t be a reason to shy away from getting close to anyone, if anything, it was a reason to fight that much harder to protect them. Trying once more, she smiled, genuinely this time, though it was small.

Patting her knee, he stood up, heading for the door. “You can handle this. Remember, you’re not alone in this.”

When he left, she got out of bed. Time to get dressed, she settled on her armor. Paladin, whose strength was made to protect others from harm, to be the wall standing in the path of evil to save the innocent. Symbolic of her desire to stand in the way of anything that would bring harm to her new home, to her new friends. Admittedly, it was frightening to think of people she hardly knew as friends, but it fit. Hard life or not, everyone was pulling their weight to make the best of what little they had, and she could do no less. Leaving her room, her steps quickened towards the chantry, towards the war room. Pushing through the door, she leaned over the table, carefully memorizing it, eyes flickering between the markers. Knowing she wasn’t alone in the room, she had to ask.

“Where do I start?” she questioned, resisting the urge to play with the tiny wooden markers.

“You’ve worked very hard, so far. The time has come to decide who you wish to pursue, the mages or the Templars. We will leave the choice up to you.” Leliana said.

She liked her still, they had spent some small amount of time speaking. Even prevented her from killing someone, traitor or not, there was no reason to discard someone who still had use left in them. Yuuki looked up finally, regretting it when she did, seeing the worried look on the faces of her advisors.

_Smile…_

That one word echoed through her mind once more, and once again, she smiled, just a little. To make a choice like this, she first needed more information. Mage was a term she was intimately familiar with, having access to both combat and healing magic herself. Templar was a word she had only heard in reference to the Commander’s former occupation, meaning little besides. They had discussed the subject briefly before, but it was not enough to go on for a decision this big. Knowing how different this place was, she wanted to understand the situation from their perspectives.

“Enlighten me, I need to know about both sides before I can decide.” She insisted.

Yuuki was ill-prepared to handle the heated discussion that broke out. Pulling what scraps of information she could out of the argument and piecing it together, if she understood correctly, was that mages were originally kept in circles, though they didn’t like the treatment and the conditions, which were different in each one. For the most part, they felt oppressed, revolting, the Templars hunting and killing some. Truly a hard situation to gauge without experiencing it for herself. Not to suggest she couldn’t relate, many had hunted and killed her kind, and while not every Raen or every human was guilty, not every member of her family was innocent either. Similar enough to get a decent feel for the struggle, deciding that freedom was a cause worth fighting for.

“We’re following up with the mages.” She said decisively, leaving no room to argue.

Glancing up again, she noticed the look on the Commander’s face, and it actually hurt a little. Being a former Templar, she imagined he must have particularly strong feelings on the matter. She had made her decision, and it wouldn’t do to waver now, regardless of how anyone might feel. One by one, her advisors left the room after some discussion and planning. Yuuki turned to leave, until a hand grasped her wrist, knowing it had to be the Commander, the only other person left in the room.

“I’m sorry, I’ve made my decision, and I can’t afford to reconsider.” She told him, imagining that to be the reason he stopped her.

“I wasn’t going to try and change your mind. I don’t agree with the choice, but I won’t go against it.” He said, releasing her then.

Folding her arms across her waist, she shifted nervously. “So then, what’s the problem?”

Cullen frowned slightly, silent for a moment as he looked her over. “It’s your eyes. They’re red and puffy. You were crying, I just…wanted to make sure you’re alright. Has anyone said or done anything?”

She shook her head. “No, it’s nothing like that. Everyone has been far kinder than I expected.”

Raking a hand through his hair, he sighed. He was glad it wasn’t that, at least. “Do you not like it here?”

Yuuki reached for the door, nodding towards it. “I’d rather not discuss it here, where people might overhear. Do you have time for a walk?”

It was early enough in the day where he had very little to do, he could spare the time. She left the room, and he followed behind. She didn’t stop until they were a fair distance from the settlement, hidden away in a line of trees. Her steps slowed, entertaining a leisurely pace before she finally spoke up. The idea of reliving that story twice in one day was almost like torture, but she was willing to suffer.

“I’m sorry for dragging you out here, I just… didn’t want to be seen like this…” she mumbled “Vulnerable, I mean.”

Honestly, it was less about vulnerability and more about not causing unneeded worry, though it appeared as though she already had.

“There’s no need to apologize, Herald.” He said, leaning back against a wall of rock.

“I’m sure it sounds stupid…I had a bad dream. I’d rather… not think about it too much, so I’ll sum it up as quickly as I can. I lost a dear friend… he died because of me.” She said.

Even saying it like that, she felt the sting of tears threatening to form. She shook her head, almost angrily, as though that would be enough to make them stop. Yuuki expected him to ask about it, thankful when he didn’t, though what he did ask was just as bad.

“What happened that you believe it was your fault?” he asked.

Reasonably sure they were in no immediate danger, he allowed himself to relax a little, to focus on her.  Twisting strands of hair between her fingers for comfort, she worked up the strength to tell him.

“I mentioned the Cathedral in Ishgard, yes? Where I come from, there is no Divine, instead, there’s an Archbishop. Stumbled upon something no one was meant to discover, a buried truth that threatened the balance of power, and another of my friends was taken as a result. We prepared to launch a rescue, and Haurchefant saw an attack aimed at me, one that I failed to see. He jumped in the way, and his shield shattered, the wound was too bad for me to fix, and…he died. He wasted his last words on me.” She told him, voice trembling with every word.

He wasn’t typically moved by such a display, but he knew that kind of pain well. He couldn’t help but feel for her, similarly troubled by his own losses. He had worked tirelessly to forget as much as he could, though the difference was that her pain was still fresh, and he imagined her dreams were much like being trapped back in that moment.

“What did he say?” he asked. He knew it would hurt, knew she might even cry, but holding it in was no way to heal. She needed to be pushed, and he felt qualified.

“He told me to smile. A smile better suits a hero…” she repeated his words, hearing them vividly in her mind.  “I did. He still died…”

Unable to hold back the surge of tears any longer, she sobbed, the pain so strong, she couldn’t support herself anymore. Yuuki collapsed to the ground, the snow cushioning her knees as she landed. Cullen looked away in silence, unsure what to do. On the one hand, he had told himself to get over it, essentially, and it worked, for the most part. Only the nightmares still remained to remind him of it.  She was altogether different, and he couldn’t say something so cold towards her, though it had very little to do with her being the Herald. Sighing quietly, he pushed himself to stand, pulling her up to meet him. Brows knitted together in frustration, directed at himself, he frowned.

‘I shouldn’t do this. I really shouldn’t.  What right do I have to touch her like this?’ he thought.

He brought his arms around her waist, feeling her lay her head on his chest. He lightly stroked her back in slow circles, trying to soothe her enough to calm her down. Her arms slid around him, her tears slowing to a stop after some time. Yuuki pulled away, rubbing at her eyes, taking a deep breath. If it helped her get past it, even a little, it didn’t bother him. Straightening up, she bowed slightly, her eyes filled with regret.

“I’m sorry, Commander. The last thing I wanted was to burden you like this. I’ll refrain from doing so in the future.” She said.

“You can rely on me whenever you need to. You’re not a burden.” He told her, regretting it immediately.

He was used to maintaining a certain distance, and it was uncomfortable to extend an offer like that. Not that she was strictly a mage, but it felt the same, she was above his station. Surely he wasn’t allowed to get close to her like this. More than anything, he worried what might be said about her, if they were seen together. He didn’t care what they said about him, though, he admitted guiltily to himself that he actually enjoyed the way it felt.

“Thank you… it… means a lot to me, that you would say that.” She sighed, smiling despite the pain. “In some ways, you remind me of him.”

She turned to leave, heading for the path. She had wasted enough of his time with her problems, and she wouldn’t allow herself to waste any more of it. Before they got too close, he stopped her once more.

“May I… that is…I want to know, if it’s alright… why the mages?” he asked.

She turned to face him again, staring at her hands. “Commander, do you know what it’s like to be forced to stay somewhere? To have to serve people you can’t stand?” she countered.

“What do you mean?” he questioned.

To give an honest answer would require knowing the circumstances. Another sore subject, one she didn’t want to talk about either, but something about him felt calming, like she could tell him anything. Even without a reason, it slipped out before she could take it back.

“I was forced to serve under the command of the Garlean Empire. It’s not the best reason, but I wanted to live, and living meant doing what I was told until I could gain my freedom. But for a false moon and a great wyrm, I may not have had that chance.” She said, leaving it at that.

Her familiarity with combat involved military service? That much was unexpected from someone like her, someone who, so far, had been polite and even kind despite being held prisoner. He found his mind wandering, trying to imagine what she was like before she came here, or if this was how she had always been.

“I told you my story. I willingly served, it had been my dream since I was a child.” He said, indicating that, no, he didn’t quite understand it as well as she did.

“I was never judged for being able to use magic. I can’t understand their situation completely, but I do understand the desire to be free, to be who you are without someone telling you it’s wrong. To want to live without fear of being killed, it’s something I know well. It’s been my whole life, in a sense.” She sighed. “I can’t say that it won’t go wrong, but I feel compelled to help them.”

She turned once more, walking away. He followed, keeping up easily with her slow pace, his hand brushing along the back of his neck. Though she didn’t look at him, she spoke up once more, quieter this time, almost too quiet to hear, and he suspected it was out of concern they would be heard.

“You’ve been through some hard things. I can tell.” She said, hesitating for a moment. “I have to get back to work, but _I will_ come back. I’d be…interested in talking with you more.”

“I suspect you’ll be the one smiling, right?” he asked, the faintest trace of a grin.

She nodded once, going to round up her party. A few small orders of business to take care of before her journey would take him to Redcliffe for a meeting with the mages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It doesn't hurt that I'm also still sad over the loss of Lord Haurchefant. I figured it was a way for her to connect with people a little more.


	4. The Bull and The Beard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Setting a course for Redcliffe, the Herald plots two stops. 
> 
> \- A tale of how Yuuki meets Iron Bull and Blackwall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may eventually redo this chapter, but it's fine for now, since I'm trying to improve some chapters and add in others.

Yuuki had been asked to look into a matter in the Hinterlands, near enough to deal with before heading to Redcliffe. That was her initial plan, but then she noticed a man standing outside the Chantry, looking frustrated and almost lost. He held up a hand a few times, as if trying to flag someone down, but everyone simply walked past. Reaching out, she tapped his shoulder gently.

“Do you need help?” she asked gently.

“Yes…I’ve been trying to get someone to talk to me, but no one will stop.” He said.

She held out her hand, smiling kindly. “I’m Yuuki. Whatever you need, I’m here to listen.”

He shook her hand. “Cremisius Aclassi. I’m here with an offer for the Inquisition.”

That made her hesitate for a moment. She had no idea if she was allowed to discuss this, let alone look into it. If it was promising enough, was it alright to accept? Not wanting to appear incompetent, she stood a little taller, trying to convey the kind of importance she was supposed to carry.

“Alright, I’m listening. Tell me about this offer.” She said.

“We got word of some Tevinter mercenaries gathering out on the Storm Coast.” He told her. “If you’re interested, meet us there and watch what we can do.”

 _Shit._ Tevinter was a new word, was that a good thing, or bad? She couldn’t very well ask him. Finding this Storm Coast wouldn’t be much of a problem, she had even seen it on the map in the war room.

“Sure, sounds good. I’d love to watch you in action.” She affirmed.

This was a problem. She knew what a mercenary was, that much needed no explanation, but who or what a Tevinter was, and what she had just agreed to had her concerned. All things considered, it wouldn’t hurt to check it out, whatever was out there, it likely wasn’t anything she couldn’t handle, a quick look might be alright. A small change of plans, first to the Storm Coast, and then to deal with the matter in the Hinterlands, and then Redcliffe. The only thing left to figure out was who to bring. Sera was fun company, but Varric was better in the realm of stealth. A mage would be good, but that meant Solas or Vivienne. Vivienne’s attitude was unpleasant, but Solas had so far been interesting, and had even gone out of his way to explain things to her that she didn’t quite understand. That meant Cassandra had to go to round out the team.

 _‘Guess I’m healer… fun times.’_ She thought.

* * *

 

When they arrived, it was raining heavily. Yuuki laughed, looking back briefly. “I take it this is why it’s called the Storm Coast.” She joked.

“Among other reasons, I’m sure.” Cassandra replied.

Not much in the way of clearly defined paths, the quickest way to the location of this meeting down a wet, jagged slope of sharp rock. There was a trail that was easier to follow, but would have taken longer. Reaching to her back, she grabbed her cane, focusing aether through it, casting every barrier spell she had as she approached the edge of the cliff.

“Here goes nothing!” she shouted, jumping off.

They ran to look over the edge, expecting to see her in a heap on the ground. Surprisingly, she looked unhurt, waving to them from the bottom.

“You okay?” Varric asked.

“I’m good. Give me a moment, I’ll get some more barriers up, it’ll keep you safe on the way down.” She called back.

Yuuki raised the cane once more, the energy circling her teammates. Solas jumped down first, Cassandra following shortly after. Varric glanced over the edge once more, scratching his chin in thought, turning to look at the longer path. Shrugging, he leapt off, barely avoiding crashing into Cassandra.

“Herald, you realize you didn’t explain why we came out here, right?” she grunted.

Walking towards the shore, she nodded. “I do realize that. I was told to come here, something about Tevinter mercenaries and fighting.” She said.

Stopping in her tracks, Cassandra shook her head. “Tevinter, why am I not surprised…”

There was fighting further down the shore, the group probably being the one she was meant to watch. Rushing in for a closer look, Yuuki stopped a fair distance away. Her attention was drawn to a massive creature with large horns, wielding a large axe. Whatever else he might be, it was a relief to see a Warrior in these lands.

“What manner of creature is that?” she asked quietly.

Solas chuckled, looking at her for a moment. “That would be a Qunari. A real one.” He said.

She narrowed her eyes, trying to figure it out. “I can’t tell if you’re trying to make a joke or not.”

He fell silent, rejoining the rest of the group as they continued on, stopping a safe distance from the fighting. Yuuki said they were meant to observe, after all. No point in getting involved for the time being. The battle didn’t last very long anyway; the man she had met in Haven paused to wave. Turning in their direction, the Qunari pointed to her, waving her over. Striding through the corpses, she took a seat on a piece of driftwood, waiting while he issued orders. Taking her first good look at him, the most obvious thing aside from the horns being that he wore an eyepatch. Being all too common in her world, it was hard to decide if it was an aesthetic choice or if he was blinded, maybe even missing the eye entirely. Tall, though not quite as tall as the average male Auri, bulky, more so than her kind, to be expected of an axe master.

“Well? What did you think?” he asked, realizing she was waiting for him to say something.

“I can’t say I’m not impressed. This is your company? They work together very well, that much is obvious.” She replied. “Though I can’t imagine why you might request the Inquisition’s attention.”

Bringing her elbows back to support herself, she crossed a leg over the other, kicking back. The arrangement of driftwood behind her almost resembling a throne. Thinking about it, she extended her hand, ashamed that she seemed to have misplaced her manners. He gripped her hand, a good, strong handshake. Everything had meaning, and though it was proper etiquette, it also served her well to gather information. His skin was rough, calloused, a good sign of dedication. Certainly not concerned with appearances, and not bothered by hard work. Considering the weather, his lack of suitable clothes suggested he had come from somewhere warmer.

“My name is Yuuki. Do you have a name?” she asked, lowering her voice so only he could hear. “A spy who wields an axe instead of daggers, there’s a story there.”

She hadn’t spent all that time learning the shadow arts for nothing. Picking up on others with the same skill was ingrained deeply in her, both her teachers had taught her to see through to the small details, a supplement to the Auri way of life.

“The Iron Bull.” He said. “I’m surprised you could tell. I was about to fill you in, but there’s no point, if you already know. I thought the reason for coming here was more obvious. The Chargers are a mercenary company for hire – my company.”

She glanced back to her companions, quietly waiting for her. It seemed that either they didn’t care, or they were intentionally leaving it up to her. That or it could have been possible that they didn’t know the reasoning either. “How much?”

“Nothing. At least, not from you, personally. I’ll take care of that, assuming you’re looking to hire us.” He said.

That required very little thought. Not one for false complements, they did indeed work well together. He didn’t need to elaborate on the benefits of such an alliance. As a spy, she imagined someone had sent him, and wanted something from him. Money would be of no use; information was the currency among those types. There had to be more to it, something he could offer in return. Surely he was aware that they had plenty of soldiers, muscle was in no short supply, nor were spies. Leliana would be able to determine his usefulness better than she could. “In that case, consider yourself hired.”

Rising from her seat, she turned to head back. If he was any good, he already knew where to go. This time, taking the long path back up, the idea of climbing up was pointless while it was raining.  

“Is there a reason you left me to handle that by myself?” she questioned, though she didn’t stop.

The Hinterlands were far from here, best not to stop until the last light was gone.

“They spoke with you; it was your business.” Cassandra told her.

That was it then? Somehow, fate had decided she was important once more, and now a prisoner was in charge of making big calls like this. Funny how that kept happening to her, though less in the laughing sense and more like an ill-timed joke.

* * *

 

It had taken two days to reach the Hinterlands by foot, and two nights of resting, long enough for her to learn that Cassandra was a terrible person to share a tent with. Hard to sleep with so much snoring, and she thrashed like a wild chocobo. A lack of sleep was hardly anything new, nothing she couldn’t deal with.

“What is it this time? We’re not very close to Redcliffe, there must be something you’re looking for.” Solas questioned.

“Yes, I’m supposed to find a Warden. Before you ask, the only thing I know about Wardens is what you told me, therefore, not much at all.” She admitted.

The map was marked near a body of water, small, likely a lake. Having been out this way a few times, she had a decent guess where to look. One such trip had brought her on the trail of some horse master, and the other? Looking for some man’s “special ram”. Though rare, the idea of ‘special’ pets wasn’t exactly unfamiliar.

“There are some books about Wardens.” Cassandra sighed.

“Of course. There’s bound to be books on many subjects. Who has time to read when there’s hardly time to rest?” she said, sweeping a hand through her bangs.

The lake was just up ahead, and with it, she heard the sound of voices. Too far to see what was going on, it sounded much like the pep talks given before a patrol, at least it was so in her world. Varric nodded towards the group when they were close enough to see what was going on.

“That’ll be your Warden.” He said.

“Is this the part where I get sent on ahead to sort through this mess?” she muttered, the steady thumping of her tail indicating her irritation.

“Do you wish me to hold your hand, or do you wish to learn?” Cassandra huffed.

A fair answer, one she could accept for what it was. She knelt down at the bank of the river, removing her boots, tossing them in her bag. Hiking her robes up to her knees, she held them tightly, wading across quickly. Her world had much in the way of bodies of water, of all sizes, and she had crossed them in all manner of clothing. Wet robes were possibly the worst, a tactical disadvantage to boot. When she reached the group, she let them fall, smoothing the wrinkles out. Leliana had said his name was Blackwall, and he seemed to be in the middle of something. No time like the present to interrupt.

“Are you Blackwall?” she asked.

He stopped, looking for the source. With a sigh, she lifted a hand to draw his attention. He looked down, though he turned away just as quickly.

“You’re in the way, help or leave.” He said gruffly.

Help? As a White Mage? If he insisted. Sliding her feet apart for balance, switching from her usual healing stance to a more battle-ready posture. Time was important, and she had already wasted more of it than she intended to, normally, she would have been more than happy to wait patiently for him to finish whatever lesson he was trying to teach, but she had to stay on schedule. Quickening her casting time, she fired a radiant blast of glowing white light in the midst of the attackers. It rose up, shining brilliantly, before a blinding pulse sent a carefully focused blast of energy tearing through. With her cane, she had much more precision with targeting, and the spell? Selected with purpose for its ability to pass harmlessly through allies, while inflicting massive damage on enemies. He sent the men he had been teaching away, quickly walking towards her.

“First off, what the hell was that?” he asked.

“Magic?” she said, as though it should have been obvious.

“I’m aware of that, what _specifically_ was that?” he repeated.

“Holy. It’s called ‘Holy’, I’m not saying it is.” She clarified.

“Well…that’s new.” He sighed. “So. How do you know my name?”

“I don’t know a thing about you except what I was told. Which was to seek you out, and find out if the Wardens had anything to do with what happened to the Divine.” She explained. “I’ve been sent as a representative of the Inquisition.

Not that she actually knew much about the Divine either. Everything she knew about this place had come from the stories told to her by others. She had yet to learn much on her own, personal observations aside.

“You’re not from around here are you, girl? Never seen your kind before, and you look lost. I’ll say it as simply as I can. The answer is no.” he said.

Far be it for her to argue, she nodded, turning to leave.

“Wait.” He said. “I… don’t suppose you have room for a Warden?”

She laughed a little. “Depends. Are you interested in the Inquisition or do you just want a closer look?”

Said jokingly, of course. So far, it had been a refreshing change to meet so many people who didn’t seem to care what she was, and he appeared to be alright.

“Can’t it be both?” he chuckled.

“I don’t see why not. Anyway, if you’re serious, you could head to Haven, I have one more thing to see to before I can head back.” She told him.

They parted ways after talking a little longer. Finally, it wouldn’t be much longer and she could see what the mages had to offer.

“So what’s his story?” Varric asked.

“Not much, likes his solitude. Though I’m pretty sure he’s got company.” She told him.

“Oh? What gave you that impression?” he questioned, interested in what deep insight she might have gained.

“The beard. A beard like that? I think he’s hoarding squirrels.” She said, shrugging.

“I honestly can’t tell if you’re being serious or not…” he mused.

“I can’t either. I think I saw it move, but it could have just been in my head.” She admitted.


	5. To Redcliffe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Herald and her companions make it to Redcliffe to meet with the mages.

The group stared at the rift, halting their steps. This close, and _of course_ there was something else to slow them down. Grumbling under her breath, Yuuki took a few cautious steps. While she wasn’t exactly an expert on the matter, it had become obvious that they seemed to react to proximity. Demons spawning from the tear, she gripped her weapon, looking back.

“Let’s try to make this quick…” she sighed.

Waving Cassandra in ahead of the rest, she noticed something odd. Certain places seemed to make her move faster, where others made her so much slower. Was it magic, or something else? Either way, without knowing specifically which places would guarantee a boost in speed, the wisest course of action was to remain in one place and try to lure their prey towards them. Hitting a slow zone, the Seeker couldn’t return quickly enough to avoid the demon approaching her. Yuuki swung her cane, a spray of water forcing it away, leaving it stuck in place. It wouldn’t stay like that for long, but it might hopefully buy enough time for her to get back to safety. Cleric stance would help if she intended to fight, though these conditions made strict healing and barrier casting the wiser option. With Cassandra filling the tank role in their party, taking care of her was the priority. A quick gesture spread her spell through the group, another and they should be able to prevent a considerable amount of damage before it would wear away.

“Don’t forget that you can stun them by targeting the rift.” Solas reminded her.

In truth, she had forgotten that. Lifting her hand towards it, she braced for the inevitable flare of pain that always followed. That this came naturally was hardly a surprise, it worked exactly the same as attuning to an Aetheryte crystal, the same motions, the same feelings, only the pain was different. Teleporting and attuning were almost pleasant experiences, unlike this. The rift pulsed with energy, the overflow enough to keep the creatures in place for a short time. As a healer, her attention had been focused more on her companions, unsure if this was still the first wave or the last. The answer came not long after, when they fell, waiting expectantly for more to come out. When none did, she brought her hand back up, closing the tear. A familiar feeling that something was wrong bubbled in the pit of her stomach, though it was best not to say anything without having any idea of what it meant. The gate opened, and they walked in, stopping just inside to hear from someone she didn’t recall seeing, the manner of garb indicating he was an ally.

“… no one is expecting you…” being the only words she had actually caught.

Another sign that something troubling was certainly about to happen. How many times in her travels had something quickly spiraled from suspicious, to dangerous, to outright deadly in the blink of an eye?

“Keep your guard up…something isn’t right.” She warned quietly.

The news came as no surprise, clearly, they had already suspected something was off as well. Good, as long as everyone was on the same page, this might not go so badly. She frowned, taking the shortest path she could determine, listening attentively to the passing conversations occurring around them, hoping to glean some small hint at what could be waiting, though there was none to be found.

“That’s the place, up ahead.” Varric said, pointing to the building.

It said nothing good for such an important meeting to take place in a crowded, run down tavern. It should have eased her mind, and yet it didn’t. The woman who had issued the invitation approached, though she had no idea what brought them there. A fine time to try and get some answers.

“Were you not the one who invited us here?” Yuuki asked.

“I was unaware anyone invited you here, it certainly was not me.” She replied.

Interrupting the conversation, she glanced back. “I trust I’m not the only one with this sick feeling?”

The lack of an answer was strange, the uneasy shifting said enough for her, however. The door opened, and two oddly dressed men entered the tavern. Narrowing out the unnecessary strains of information, what seemed like she needed to know was that the one in charge of the mages now was the stranger of the two men, a Magister Gereon Alexius. He had a face she didn’t trust one bit, but for the sake of gaining some advantage out of the situation, it was worth it to talk. He gestured to a chair, and she sat down, opposite from him. At first, he said nothing, merely looking her over, her tail waving slowly, anxiously. She couldn’t place what it was he was searching for, whether it was that same greedy look that said he was mentally calculating how much he could get from her, or was it some kind of reverence? Clearing her throat, she crossed her arms on the table, leaning closer.

“Let’s talk mages. You have them, I need them. What will it take to make it happen?” she began.

This was one of her strongest talents, bargaining. She could talk a general out of a small regiment of soldiers with the promise of a nice, home cooked meal. Whatever he expected in return, she would talk him down to the minimum he would accept, that much was certain.

“A task like sealing the Breach will require a lot of magic. I expect we can come to an agreement – “he began, stopping when the other man staggered over.

Yuuki rose from her chair quickly. This man wasn’t well, his eyes alone said he hadn’t slept in some time, perhaps an illness that kept him awake? He tripped, falling towards her, barely enough time to brace for his landing, managing to hold him up.

“I’m so sorry, my lady. I didn’t mean…” he mumbled.

The Magister quickly made his exit, calling for the woman from before to come with. As they left, she glanced down, a folded piece of paper in her hand. She opened it, looking it over briefly, folding it back up.

“What does it say?” Cassandra asked.

She handed it over. “See for yourself.”

“Come to the Chantry, you are in danger.” She read.

Yuuki shifted her weight to one side, a hand resting on her hip. “As if the fact that this was a setup wasn’t obvious. Might as well see it through, how bad could it be?”

Leaving once more, Cassandra nodded to a path in the opposite direction that had come from. “The Chantry is that way. I must express my objections to this, if you know it’s a trap, why are we walking into it?”

She grinned, shrugging playfully. “I like danger. I’m not worried about it, because I know whatever it is, I can handle it. If you’re worried, you can always wait outside.” Lowering her voice to a whisper to avoid being heard by the woman, she continued. “Wouldn’t be the first time…”

When they reached the door, she paused, scratching her head lightly. “I know that sound. Best to get your weapons out now, we’re in for more fighting…” she sighed.

Just inside, a man was already fighting. A staff wielded with no wasted motions, clearly an experienced mage. Turning to face them, he stopped briefly, nodding towards the rift.

“Took you long enough, I’ve had to deal with this by myself. Mind helping?” he asked.

The others moved to join the battle, taking her time with the barriers to focus on him while she worked. His garments were made of finer materials than she was used to seeing, his accent different from the ones most commonly heard, a grandiose way of speaking, funny though. Well groomed, even his nails were neatly trimmed and filed, unlike anything she had seen so far. That told her enough, this man was better off than most, and took great pride in his appearance, something about him was off, but she couldn’t say what it was. Raising her hands, rocks rose from seemingly nowhere, colliding with a demon that had tried to sneak closer. Another gesture and a rush of sharp wind cut through, the sight of the creatures flailing and struggling to escape the vortex eliciting a gleeful giggle. After they were dealt with, she closed the rift, eager to know what exactly was the point of this shady gathering.

“How does that work, exactly?” he asked.

Stepping closer, he bent low to get a good look at her. She blinked once, slowly, unsure what had caught his interest more, the mark or her face.

“Don’t ask me, I’m not even from this world, I couldn’t even tell you how I got that.” She paused, shooting a look to Cassandra. “Though I have a few ideas. Anyway, more important matters, who are you, and why am I here?”

He didn’t move away, circling her curiously, though he did answer. That she wasn’t native to these lands sparing her from details she couldn’t possibly understand.

“Dorian Pavus, and I thought to warn you. Or did you not realize what you walked into?” he questioned.

“If you mean to ask if I know that the whole meeting was some kind of trap? I know. I realized that just after I got through the gates, and it was confirmed by the fact that the Grand Enchanter claimed not to have met me.” She affirmed, glancing back to make sure he wasn’t doing anything suspicious.

“Good girl, you pay attention, that will help. Surely you noticed that there was a difference in the way movement was affected?” he asked.

“I did. I assumed it was a form of time magic, but I can’t be certain. My world only has vaguely similar spells, and usually only ones that affect the one casting it.” She explained.

He stopped for a moment, looking at her curiously. “That much, I didn’t expect. How familiar are you with time magic, I’d rather not explain what you already understand?”

“Not very. I know the basic concept, some forms make things faster either personally or in a certain area, others slow things down in a similar way. I also know how upsetting it is to blindly walk into it without realizing it until it’s far too late to do anything about it.” She sighed.

“Well, that’s close enough. The point is, he used it to steal the mages away from you, and this kind of magic affects the very fabric of the world. It’s not good by any means.” He told her.

Before she could react to it, the man who had given her the note arrived once more. He and Dorian spoke for a bit, turning to face her shortly after. Said his father joined a cult, the Venatori, though again, it meant little to her, not familiar with the term.

“He’s after you.” He told her.

“That’s sweet of him. Too bad he’s not my type. Don’t suppose you know why he wants me or how he even knew of me?” she joked, the question more of an afterthought.

“You know it’s a trap, I think you can handle it.” Dorian said.

“Such confidence in a girl you’ve only just met. I’m flattered.” She laughed.

“I’d like to come with you when you deal with him. Not that I don’t trust you, of course.” He said, turning to leave.

“As if I’d leave behind the person who actually knows how these things work.” She countered.

They turned to leave as well. Yuuki was fully glad for the length of the trip back to Haven, unsure how to explain what happened, or what the best course of action should even be. When she settled on siding with the mages, she had no idea that so much more would be involved than just a small discussion of terms for their aid. Why was everything so bloody complicated here?


	6. Echoes of the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Herald's advisors get their first good look at Hydaelyn's gift, the Echo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made an executive decision here that there needed to be more interactions between Yuuki and Cullen instead of rushing into them as a couple.
> 
> Also, I present a comprehensive list of Eorzean units of measurement. 
> 
> 1 Ilm = 1 inch  
> 1 Fulm = 1 foot  
> 1 Yalm = 1 yard  
> 1 Malm = 1 mile
> 
> 1 Onze = 1 ounce  
> 1 Ponze = 1 pound  
> 1 Tonze = 1 ton

It was tense in the war room, the discussion getting heated quickly. Cassandra seemed to be the only one who actually agreed that they should continue on this path. Even Josephine thought the idea was too risky, and she had been perhaps the most amenable to her ideas. Cullen, after their discussion, didn’t try to persuade her to change courses, instead pointing out that the castle itself wouldn’t fall easily, and that they didn’t have enough troops to take it by force. Yuuki shook her head, leaning over the table, as if it might somehow provide her with the insight to find some magical solution to the problem. She pressed a hand to her brow, frowning slightly.

“Ugh…not now… please not now…” she mumbled under her breath.

* * *

 

Her consciousness drifted away, the room growing brighter in her eyes before it spun out and faded entirely, collapsing. The idea that they had to see this from her was not just embarrassing, but verging on actual shame, that she had no control over her own Light-given gift. The fogginess lifted from her vision, and she moved to stand, glancing around the time-faded vision, wondering what it could be this time. Who this memory belonged to, she couldn’t tell just yet. Haven, that much was clear, but nothing else was immediately apparent, how old the memory was, or what she was supposed to see remained to be seen. Walking along the path, she could hear voices up ahead, in the Chantry. Following the sound, she pushed open the door, not afraid of being seen, no one would even notice her presence.

“My spies reported earlier that the Herald made it to Redcliffe, but there has been some suspicious activity.” Leliana said.

“Is it really anything to worry about?” Josephine asked, glancing down at her papers.

“I don’t like this. She isn’t familiar with the way things work here, how can we be certain we didn’t just encourage her to walk into something she can’t handle?” Cullen added, rubbing the back of his neck.

Leliana smirked, turning to face him. “Are you doubting her skill or is it a more… _personal_ concern, Commander?” she teased.

His face flushed, his expression turning almost angry. “It’s just concern for her safety, without her, we lose the means to close the Breach, and we all know what happens then.”

Josephine glanced up, but added nothing, scribbling intently, though she couldn’t see what it was that she was writing. Her giggles meant that she had to be listening to the conversation, and was at least slightly amused.

“You do realize that I pay attention, yes? I’ve seen the way you look at her from across the yard, or the way you were pacing by the gate while she was in Val Royeaux.” She prodded, almost intentionally antagonizing him.

He cleared his throat, turning away. “I have other matters to deal with. I don’t have time for this nonsense.” He huffed, quickly making his way out.

“Must you pick at the poor man so?” Josephine finally asked.

“I don’t _have_ to. I just want to. He’s always so serious, it’s fun to make him blush.” She admitted.

“Did you actually see those things?” she questioned, curiosity getting the better of her.

“No, of course not. I’ve been coordinating with my men to gather information on potentially volatile situations, I’m not interested in spying on our own people without reason.” She laughed.

She dropped her quill, bending to reach it. “If you’re not watching him…did he just…confess to doing those things?”

Leliana grinned, nodding affirmatively. “A guilty conscience is the easiest thread to pull.”

* * *

 

Yuuki woke up in her bed, sitting up. Glancing around, she jumped slightly, a little surprised to see she wasn’t alone. Cullen sat in a chair not far from the bed, a concerned look on his face.

“Herald, you’re awake! I… we – were worried. You’ve been on the go non-stop, you shouldn’t push yourself so hard…” he gently scolded.

She looked away, staring at her hands in silence. Lost in thoughts as she so often found herself, deciding against bringing up what she saw. He offered her a cup, rubbing the back of his neck, sighing to himself.

“Commander…I suppose I should have brought it up sooner, but it has nothing to do with working too hard. It’s called ‘The Echo’, it just… happens at times, sometimes stronger and other times, not so bad.” She explained.

Taking the cup, she took a drink, wrinkling her nose. She thought it might have been tea, but it was far too bitter for anything she had ever had.

“Can you explain it? I’m… not certain I understand.” He said.

“It is a blessing of Light. The precious few that possess it have a different manifestation of it.” She said, turning to lean back against the wall, too tempted to lay back down.

“What does yours do?” he questioned, leaning forward in a way that suggested he might actually be interested in hearing about it.

“With mine, I can speak and understand any language, to better understand others. In addition, I sometimes see visions from the pasts of others. I can walk through, and even interact, though I can change nothing about it. No one in the memories even know I’m there.” She said, stretching slowly.

Taking another sip, she tipped her head back, the pain in her head still faint, enough to be annoying.

“Are you in pain?” he asked.

“I’ll be alright, thank you for your concern.” She told him. “Was anything figured out about the mages?”

“Ah…about that. There was a man who showed up, very insistent he go with you. Leliana has a way in, but it will require you to meet with the Magister…you’d be in danger.” He sighed.

She smiled almost playfully. “Commander, are you actually worried about me?”

His face flushed slightly, fidgeting nervously before settling once more. “N…not especially. I just think it’s important that you take precautions to ensure your safety.”

Not bad, she was almost convinced, but not quite. A little more work and he might have pulled it off.  “I’ll meet with him. I can handle this.” Deciding she liked seeing him blush, she thought to try again. “I could never let you down like that.”

It worked, he sat up straighter, almost tense. Standing up, he pointed to the door, quickly heading for the way out, the most awkward departure she had seen from the normally serious and composed man.

Considering the situation, knowing the whole scenario was a trap, and that an attempt might be made on her life, something more suited to taking damage seemed a good idea. On the other side of the argument, if there was any safe way to prevent matters from escalating, perhaps a mage would be better, though the idea of healing again seemed far too boring. Summoner? Scholar? Black Mage? Perhaps Astrologian. The more she thought about it, the more she missed her lance, eager to pick it up and get back in the thick of things. Sighing to herself, she settled on Black Mage, at least that way, if the worst possible thing were to happen, she could simply put everyone to sleep and sort things out alone.

Yuuki stood, going to make sure the door was closed tightly before getting changed. She could have changed simply by selecting a different weapon, but there was something strangely satisfying about taking the time to do it without the aid of technology on occasion.

“Just once, it would be great if I could see what hasn’t happened yet. Would be nice to know what I’m walking into…” she grumbled under her breath.

The only things she was reasonably sure of was that she might have to deal with this time magic up close, and that for whatever reason, this man she barely knew wanted her dead. That much was no surprise, she had a list a malm long of people who wanted her dead, some for actual things she had done, and others for no real reason. If Dorian insisted on coming, and with her as a Black Mage, and Solas seemed to understand magic almost intimately, that would be fine, and Bull would be a good choice for sheer muscle, a background in spying was a bonus also. He would certainly pick up on anything suspicious on the off chance that she failed to notice critical points of interest. All that was left to do was to wait for word that it was time to head out.


	7. Ripples

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> >>;; I'm not the greatest with lengthy combat scenes, so I'm hoping it's alright that I skipped through it.

Yuuki stood outside the door, rubbing her arm slowly. “I can’t remember the last time I walked into something like this. It feels like forever.”

“So this has happened more than once?” Dorian asked, lofting a brow.

“Are you kidding me? Gods, yes. Let’s see… If you count the Labyrinth of the Ancients, Crystal Tower, _World of Darkness…_ oh! Let’s not forget the Praetorium, and assorted other death traps, I’d say easily forty times, and that’s _after_ I joined the Adventurer’s Guild. Nevermind _before_ all that.” She sighed.

“Here I was thinking I was holding a record.” He laughed.

“What are we waiting for, go already…” Bull grumbled.

* * *

 

Dorian reached a hand down to help her up. Wherever they were, it was wet, and dark, a bit more than a little unsettling. The door opened, and two guards rushed in. It wasn’t like she needed to know what happened to realize that this went so poorly, after all. Drawing her hands forward, a circle of ice formed around the enemies, freezing them in place, though it wouldn’t hold long. One gesture and crackling bursts of lightning connected, shattering the ice, shards flying in all directions. She cringed, gripping his sleeve tightly. Dorian spoke, too involved in the situation to look back, but she could sense that he was giving her a strange look.

“Mind letting me go? I know this must be difficult to process, but this isn’t a good time…” he said.

“I had no idea you were lightning-aspected, a little warning would have been nice…” she grumbled, letting go.

The guards downed, he spun around to face her. “Are you telling me you’re… uncomfortable around lightning?”

She straightened up, almost defiantly. “Not entirely. I can use similar magic…just that when I’m the one casting it, I’m completely in control, it’s fine…”

“So it’s more that you don’t trust me to use it safely? In case you failed to notice, we have bigger problems. I’m not going to let _anything_ hurt you, myself included.” He said, though surprisingly lacking the judgment she expected to hear.

Laughing, she knelt down, rummaging through their pockets, withdrawing a key. “Well, aren’t I special. I usually do the protecting, I’m not quite sure what to think about this.”

He walked away, looking around in silence for a time. “Guessing you don’t quite remember what happened, and that’s probably normal. The discussion went about as wrong as it could, fairly certain that the Magister meant to erase you from existence. Thankfully, I disrupted it enough that we were only moved through time, forward? Back? How far? All fair questions, of course. Ones that I can’t answer yet, but I suspect we’ll discover shortly.”

She opened the door, glancing back for a moment. “Fine, but are you coming or are we just going to stay here and talk shop?”

Dorian sighed, following after her. Hard enough to gauge whether she had heard and understood the situation fully, or if she hadn’t kept up at all and was simply continuing on ahead blindly. She stopped again, just shy of the door, turning back.

“I can hear something, not loud enough to make out what it is, but we should prepare, in case it’s an ambush. I’m fairly sure that others will come in search of those men.” She told him, walking in.

There was nothing immediately, but other doors opened, and more of them ran in. “I forget, are these the Venatori, or are they something else entirely?” she mumbled.

“At this point, do you actually care who they are?” he chuckled.

Focusing her energy, she released a pulse of noxious fumes, thankful that that particular ability could cross over so well here. Waving her staff down, she pressed the skull mounted on the top against the chest of one of the guards, fire spewing from the sockets, a point blank shot. 

“You’re right. I don’t really care, I’m sure they die just the same. I’m eager to get through and see if the others are here, or… you know, if we’re alone in this.” She said.

“No, I’m absolutely not interested.” Yuuki sighed.

“Really? No one at all, not even in your own world?” Dorian asked.

“It’s… a long story. I was once, but it went poorly, so the answer is no.” she said.

“I suppose I can understand that.” He agreed.

Somehow, their aimless wandering had led them into a series of jail cells. Mostly empty, yet there had to be someone, she could hear the sound of breathing, though quiet. She pressed herself back, putting a finger to her lips, indicating he should also be quiet, in case it was yet another problem. Leaning in cautiously, the sight of a massive figure, turned away, came into view.

“Bull?” she asked hesitantly.

Turning to face her, she could tell something was wrong. That same strange glow in his eyes as the red shards piercing through the entirety of the castle. Red lyrium, that might have been what it had been called, but her mind was still a little less than sharp. Either way, he looked terrible, deathly ill, even. Regret that she hadn’t brought something that was physically a little stronger hit her. Glancing at Dorian, he shrugged, evidently lacking the key to open it, there were only so many things that might work. Gripping the bars, she closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and holding it in, her hands turning bright red, the bars glowing where she held them. Steam rolled out from under her fingertips, but nothing seemed to happen.

“Well then. Melting them isn’t going to happen.” she exhaled loudly. “Back up, we can talk after we get you out…”

Bull began arguing her existence as he backed away, crossing his arms. Probably not the best thing to do for her own safety, but it _was_ the best option available. Her hands held the bars once more, tan skin raising with glassy white lines, her face bearing similar marks. The bars froze slowly, spreading upward and down until they were coated in thick, glacial ice. Taking a step back, she reached out, barely touching it, the ice shattering, and with it, the metal.

“That was an interesting trick.” Dorian said. “Well, are you going to come out, or are you so set on us being dead that you’d rather stay there?”

Grumbling under his breath, he walked out, staring at Yuuki while he snuck by. “Don’t suppose it matters, whether you’re alive or dead. You should know, a lot has happened. Alexius isn’t who you should be worried about, his Elder One is the real threat. The Empress is dead, and he has an entire army of demons at his disposal.” He told her.

She sighed, taking the news incredibly calmly, considering. “Oh dear. Always an army involved in these matters. No matter, a good day of planning and a little strategy, I’m sure it will be fine. Assassination, on the other hand… Twelve, it’s like my own past is repeating on me…”

“’Oh dear’? I tell you there’s a _demon army_ and all you can say is ‘oh dear?’… you’re not so bad.” Bull said. “That elf is here too somewhere, if you feel like breaking him out too.”

“I imagine he’d like to be let out. Though I’m sure he’s probably just sitting there all quiet and thoughtful.” She replied.

Scratching her head lightly, she turned in a full circle before remembering the way they came, heading in the opposite direction. She lifted her staff, opening the door cautiously, again in case of an ambush, though there was no one to be seen. Replacing it, they searched the cells, stopping in front of him. Yuuki once more placed her hands on the bars, the frozen aether flowing through her, showing in deep lines on her skin. Solas turned slowly, watching her in silence, something about the way he looked that made her almost sad.

“You’re not well, are you?” she asked, her words choked out.

“I’m dying. You don’t look so well either.” He observed quietly.

The metal cracked, crumbling away before she pulled away. Shivering mildly, she planted her hands on her arms, adjusting her temperature slowly.

“I’m just fine. I’m primarily fire-aspected, I can adjust my body’s temperature easily, and I have a higher than average resistance to cold. Let’s focus on you, is there anything I can do to help, are you suffering?” she said.

Looking him over while she waited on his answer, she could determine no safe method to purge what ailed him. By now it had been repeated a few times that if they could find a way back, this wouldn’t happen, all the more reason to hurry.

“I’ve heard that the Magister never leaves his throne room. If we can get there and find a way in…” he began, seeing the look she shot him, he sighed. “No, there’s nothing you can do for me, not like this.”

“Was that so hard to say? Gods, everyone is so bloody stubborn here…” she grumbled to herself, following the paths that weren’t blocked.

A sound caught her attention, glancing back to Bull. “Sounds like we might have company. We don’t have time for anymore distractions, don’t suppose you have the energy to cut through?”

Gripping his axe, he nodded, waiting for her to open the door and move. Pushing it open, she quickly stepped aside, watching as he charged along the drawbridge, knocking the guards that rushed at them off the sides. Grinning, he nodded them over.

“How was that, fast enough for you?” he asked, puffing his chest out proudly.

They crossed to meet up with him, pressing ahead as a group. “I didn’t think they’d be dumb enough to stand so close to the edges. Great job, actually…” she answered, impressed.

Not slowing down, the conversation eventually resumed.

“Why is it none of this has been surprising to you?” Dorian asked.

“I can’t say I’ve been through entirely exactly identical circumstances, but similar enough. Assassination attempts on royalty, armies, Gods, Goddesses, ancient technology guided by a madman’s will, you name it, I’ve probably done it.” She muttered.

“Is this truly a good time to talk, shouldn’t we be focusing on getting to the throne room?” Solas interrupted.

“As if we can’t walk and talk at the same time.” Dorian huffed.

She held a hand up, gesturing to a door at the end of the hall. It didn’t take her acute hearing to tell that something was happening. Whoever was in there wouldn’t be expecting company, a good way to gain an advantage. Creeping closer, she slammed open the door, frowning at what she saw. Despite a severely weathered appearance, that red hair peeking from under the cowl was unmistakable.

“Leliana…” she breathed quietly.

The man interrogating her turned quickly, and in an instant, Leliana had him in a tight hold, her legs firm and unyielding, dead in a matter of moments. Yuuki fumbled around for the key, stretching up to free her, just a bit too short to reach.

“A little help, please?” she asked, embarrassed.

Bull pushed Solas closer, and he shot him a look. “Excuse me…” he sighed irritably.

His arms tightened around her waist, lifting her easily, high enough to unlock the shackles, setting her down after.

“I don’t see why neither of you couldn’t have done that.” He complained.

“Your face was amusing.” Bull said, shrugging.

“Don’t suppose you could teach me how to do that?” she asked.

“Depends on whether or not any of us survive. If we do, perhaps I could.” Leliana answered, taking the lead.

They had finally reached the door to the throne room, indentations in the door suggesting some manner of key was needed.

“We’ll need to find whatever goes in these spaces to open the door.” Dorian pointed out.

Yuuki thumped her head against it lightly, groaning in frustration. She waved them back, taking a few steps back as well. “No! We’re wasting too much time, I’m so sick of distractions!” she shouted.

Raising her staff, she poured as much energy as she could muster into it, firing a dense ball of concentrated aether, watching it swell to immense sizes before imploding, the stray energy smashing through the protected door.

“Remind me never to upset you…” Dorian muttered, stepping over the debris.

Yuuki took a moment, withdrawing a vial from her bag. Forcing the stopper from it, she tipped it back, tossing the empty container to the side. Stomping angrily towards the Magister, she glared at him intently.

“This is all your fault. Do you see the cost of your actions? Your son is worse now than he was, my _friends_ are dying, and you hide away in here? If I were this Elder God of yours, I’d be _very_ disappointed in you right now…” she growled.

“Didn’t you just use all your energy on the door?” Dorian whispered.

“I did, but I have think it’s alright. I’m certain I have enough energy that I can use a spell that makes it regenerate a little faster. Let’s just get this over with…” she answered back, just as quietly.

She sighed, tensing when her breath shuddered out in a frozen cloud. This wasn’t good, well, it was in a way, but in the ‘about to experience a memory gap’ way, it wasn’t great. Like falling asleep on her feet, the knowledge that there would be some things she wouldn’t quite remember was upsetting.

* * *

 

Shaking her head slightly, she looked up. A man in very formal attire stood in front of her, upset by the look of things.

‘Gods, please don’t let it be me he’s mad at…’ she thought nervously.

Glancing around, she saw the Grand Enchanter, meekly trying to defend herself to him. Glad that it wasn’t her, it sounded like they were being kicked out, left with nowhere to go.

“Where will we go?” She asked quietly.

“That’s no longer my concern…” the man answered.

Great, they had already been yanked out from underneath her once before. If she returned to Haven with no assistance, she’d be in some trouble. They had stressed that pursuing the mages meant that they couldn’t get the Templars, which meant if she messed this up, they had no one…

“We’ll take you in. All of the mages.” Yuuki said, before she could think it over.

“Surprisingly generous. How will this play out?” she asked, a hand nervously resting on her arm.

“I came into this with a desire to free the mages. I would see that through.” She answered.

There was no reason to back down now that she had made her intent known from the start. If they meant to let her run the show, then she would very well run it.

“Are you certain, will the Inquisition even honor that?” she questioned.

“They will if I have anything to say about it.” She declared authoritatively.

“I would take that offer. You can’t stay here, and you will get no better offer anywhere else.” The man said.

“Very well, we accept. You will have the mages on your side.” The Grand Enchanter said.

This was going to get her in trouble, she just knew it. Somehow, someone was going to be upset that she had made this decision without consulting anyone, but how could she? What else was she supposed to say? ‘Wait a moment, I need to rush back and make sure this is alright before I do anything, by the way, don’t run off or die while I’m gone.’ If they were going to leave her to handle matters _knowing_ she couldn’t possibly understand the situation completely, the result was their fault, good or bad.


	8. Diversions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While waiting for the mages to prepare, Yuuki busies herself with tales and training.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the fight referenced in her conversation with Varric: https://youtu.be/INzA1l4oV6A
> 
> Contains some spoilers, character in the video is not mine.

Walking into the yard, she held a book with blank pages in one hand, a pencil in the other. Waiting. Always waiting. Why was there so much waiting here? In her world, it was a nice, simple system. Get out there, do your job, report in, but be brief, no time for lengthy reports when the next threat has made itself known. They told her the mages needed time to prepare before they left. Mage preparation used to mean stocking up on ether and food. With as long as this was taking, she could have made enough ether and food to supply the entire camp twice over. Yuuki heaved a sigh as she walked toward the wall. She had thought to chronicle her adventures in the form of drawings.

Sitting on the low wall by Varric, she settled on a subject. He glanced over, but said nothing so as not to interrupt her. Something about the cold weather made her think about the Amphitheatre, and Iceheart. Her eyes closed for a moment, visualizing the battle vividly in her mind. The twisting spires of ice all around her, glistening like diamonds across the field. Looming in the air above, Saint Shiva, radiant in her beauty, but poised for a deadly attack. She opened her eyes after a moment, the pencil scratching back and forth as she sketched it out quickly before the memory faded. Varric leaned against the wall, somewhat interested in the image that was taking shape. She finally spoke up, to save him the trouble of asking about it.

"Saint Shiva, they say she lay with dragons. The truth was a bit more complex. Shiva was an Elven woman, who loved the dragon Hraesvelgr. Her life would be short compared to his, hardly a blink in the life of his kind. She begged him to consume her, so her soul could remain with his for eternity. The woman I fought was never actually Shiva, but a woman named Ysayle, Iceheart to some. It's hard enough to explain, easier to say she wished hard enough and became her. I engaged her in battle twice in my travels." She said, finishing up the piece and showing it to him.

He took it, looking it over in silence. Mulling over the story she told him, he handed it back, a quiet whistle preceding his words.  “Why does all the weird shit happen to you? Seriously, it’s like everything weird all comes back to you, it’s insane.”

“Oh, Varric. If only you knew everything, you’d see how right you are.” She sighed.

She had used up enough of his time, and certainly there had to be something she had to take care of before the mages were ready to leave. Walking away, she flicked a slow wave, her mind going back to the things she had seen in Redcliffe. As she walked away, she put her things away. She was halfway across the compound when it finally hit her. What she had seen had frightened her, and keeping busy had been the only thing holding it back. The people she had come to look forward to seeing, she had to keep them safe, and the mental image of her new friends, infected and dying, left in the dungeons to rot away alone. Cursing to herself, she had been hoping she'd wake up this whole time. Yuuki had wanted to wake up in her own bed, in her own home, but that wouldn't happen. Somehow, these people had wormed their way into her heart without her noticing. Comfortable enough to even casually flirt a little, as pointless an endeavor in her mind as it might be. Heroes didn't get love, not when they were meant to lay their lives on the line, and any fight could be the last.

All this, and a mission she was beginning to understand was more dangerous than she had thought. Primals, Garleans, evil knights? All well and good, she could handle that. Her trip to Redcliffe had revealed more behind this than a simple quirk of fate, someone was pulling the strings. It had been all arrogance until then, now she was finding out she didn't know anything about this world and it could actually kill her where so much else had failed. That thought scared her, more than she was prepared to acknowledge. Despite not remembering the entirety of what had happened, the image of her friends sacrificing themselves for the chance to prevent that future from ever happening was firmly graven in her thoughts.

“Sure does look tense, doesn’t she?” Dorian asked.

Solas glanced at him for a moment, shrugging. “Maybe, but shouldn’t that be expected? To think nothing could ever get to her would be misguided.”

“That isn’t the point. Something to take her mind off it could only help. I have just the thing, granted upset is bad too, but upset is a hell of a lot better than looking like that.” He sighed.

Yuuki pressed her fingertips together lightly, eyeing the training dummies for a moment. A little practice couldn’t hurt, but they didn’t seem sturdy enough to handle anything at all. There was always the Commander, he might have an update on the situation, if anyone might, wouldn’t it be him?

“Ohh… now that might more interesting. Cassandra might lock the poor girl up, but him… I’d bet 5 sovereigns one of them runs away.” Dorian said.

“I want no part of this. I’d rather not have a thing to do with plotting against the Herald. You can be the one to sit in the dungeons.” Solas told him, walking away.

“Well, you’re no fun.” He huffed.

He took his staff from his back, carefully aiming. A hissing crackle of lightning struck the ground just behind her. Yuuki jumped, flinging herself at the nearest person, at that moment, a bewildered Cullen. He moved quickly, managing to catch her in time, a faint blush rising, visible from where he was standing.

“Herald, I… what are you doing?” he stammered nervously.

She dropped her head to the side, scanning the distance angrily. She knew exactly who was responsible, and yet he was nowhere to be seen, hiding somewhere just out of sight, perhaps?

“I am… so sorry, Commander. A certain mage, playing a trick on me…” she mumbled.

Cullen glanced around as well at that, with so many in the camp, he wanted to catch a glimpse of the guilty party. “Which one? I’ll see that they’re disciplined for that…” he growled.

“No need…I’ll deal with it later. I…excuse me, but you can let me go, I didn’t mean to…” she finally pointed out.

He looked down, realizing he had still been holding her, quickly putting her down. “I’m sorry…” he mumbled nervously.

She crossed her arms grumpily, starting to leave, though she paused, glancing at him over her shoulder. “It’s Yuuki, Commander, you don’t have to call me Herald.”

‘See you around, Yuuki…” Cullen thought, trying it out in his mind.

Taking off quickly, she stopped here and there, making sure she didn’t overlook him by accident. “I know you’re here, it’ll be worse if I have to hunt you down!” she hissed.

A hand reached out, tapping her shoulder lightly. A fireball lit up in her palm, spinning to face who she had thought to be Dorian. Seeing that it wasn’t, she quickly dispelled it, waiting to hear what the messenger had to say.

"Herald, the mages are ready." he said.

“Alright…I’ll be ready to leave in just a moment…” she replied, waiting until he left.

“You said you wanted to see the Breach up close, didn’t you? You’ll have to come out soon enough…” she grunted.

Walking off to meet up with the rest of the large group, she sighed. What if this still wasn’t enough to close it? Worse still, what if even with the mark, it just wasn’t possible to do it? She put her staff away, pulling out a different one, one that was stronger, able to channel higher amounts of aether more efficiently, as if that might actually make some kind of difference. Going over it again, she tried to remember how this was supposed to play out. They go to the temple, the mages somehow lend their power to her, and that was supposed to overpower her mark, and be enough to seal it permanently? That sounded about right, but then what? Did they expect her to help beyond that, or would they send her away? If they meant to, surely there must be a way to get back to her own world, having to stay here, in this strange world alone was an unsettling thought.

‘Let’s see, how many ways could this go wrong? Only one way for this to go right? I like those odds; I can handle this.’ She thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, I admit it, my Paladin sucks. White Mage is pretty impressive though.


	9. Shaken

The Breach had been closed successfully, and that seemed like it would be the end of it. The booze-fueled celebrations better than any result she could have hoped for. Yet, she didn’t want to relax, a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach. Something was definitely not right, her tail whipping anxiously against her thigh.

‘This is wrong; victory doesn’t feel this way…

Yuuki gripped her bag, trading her staff for a spear, her scant garments traded out for heavier armor in a flash. Right now, having a wider range of view could only help. Glancing towards a nearby roof, she knelt down, leaping upward, her focus turned to looking to the distance. Her stomach sank, a gasp slipping free when she noticed it. Almost too small to see, a line of forces moving through the mountains towards the camp. Alarms rang out, and everyone readied themselves, heading towards the gate. Shaking her head, she jumped down, rushing quickly to meet up with the others. Panicked villagers ran in all directions, screaming, and in her worry for them, she barely heard what the Commander had said, the words making her even more uneasy.

“…the bulk over the mountain” she caught.

 Yuuki was good, very good, but even she knew she didn't stand a chance against the army coming through the mountains, and that was just the number she could see, if there were more on the other side. A voice called to them from behind the safety of the gates, wanting to get in. It wasn’t a voice that struck her as anything to worry about, nodding to the guard at the gate. A massive, but slow figure approaching, the sound of metal piercing flesh coming an instant before the creature fell, slumped over. A young boy stood there, nervously picking at the threads of his gloves until she moved closer.

“Who are you, are you with them?” she asked.

“I’m Cole…I’m here to help…” he said quietly.

“Alright, Cole, do you know anything about this?” she questioned.

She turned briefly to the side, Cullen stopping next to her.

“The Templars. They’re here to kill you…” Cole said.

 Pointing off in the distance, she saw a man watching, and next to him, some manner of creature she couldn’t identify. Too tall, so thin his ribs showed, and his face skewed by what appeared to be shards of red lyrium. The first man, Cullen seemed familiar with, but the other, it was as though no one recognized him. Yuuki gripped her spear loosely, preparing to go after them, though Cullen quickly reached to stop her.

“Don’t… we can’t worry about them for now. Getting the villagers to safety is the priority. This is no fortress; it would take a miracle to hold it against a force that size…” he instructed.

That was before the fucking dragon. Yuuki was a seasoned dragon killer, having killed many even by herself, but this was unlike anything she had ever seen. It was gigantic, and breathed something completely different from what she was prepared for. It wasn't her first experience with red lyrium, but this was worse, all the times she had seen it before, it was stationary, easy enough to avoid. Now, it was actively being fired at them, and without certainty of the blessing of Light protecting against this, it was far better to play it safe. Stealing enough time to run back to the gates, the outlook wasn’t promising, it seemed in this world, it wasn’t a common thing to hunt dragons, or perhaps no one possessed the skill. Cullen had said to head back to the Chantry, and yet, all around her, distressed voices called for help. Spreading their efforts, they had freed everyone they could find before heading for safety. Just inside, Cole helped the man she had met a few times before. Roderick, that was his name, or maybe not, she couldn’t quite recall, struggling to keep herself grounded in the present.

“I don’t understand any of this…” she admitted, rubbing her arm in thought.

“Any chance we might have had to make it through this disappeared with that dragon…” Cullen said.

“He’s not interested in the people here. He wants her, no one else matters.” Cole added.

She straightened up a little, sighing. It always came down to this, every time. Being the reason people got hurt was really starting to piss her off.

“If he thinks he can beat me, I say let him try. It might buy a little time, if nothing else.” She spat.

Roderick interrupted, his words faint and broken, speaking of a path that could get them to safety. Turning around, she smiled, almost sadly.

“Commander, take them to safety, get them out of here.” She said, almost like an order, but lacking conviction.

“What about you, how will you get out?” he asked.

She looked away, that same sad smile on her face. Turning towards the door, she placed a hand on it gently.

“Smile, Commander.” She told him.

Bull, Dorian and Solas caught up with her, heading back out to help.

“You could have gone with the others. It would be safer.” She said quietly.

“Admit it, you just want all the fun for yourself.” Dorian joked.

Small groups popped up several times on the way to the trebuchet, easily dispatched. Reaching to grip the wheel, she started to turn it, until many more Templars came out of seemingly nowhere, heading to stop her.

“Try to keep them off me, if we hurry, we might still make it out of this.” She ordered.

They moved to flank her sides, and for a moment, it was a struggle to tune out the sounds of battle all around her. She closed her eyes, focusing only on the sound and feel of the contraption. It worked until the ground began shaking, steps far too heavy to be human snapping her attention away.

“Seventh hell, what is that thing?” she gasped.

Many feet taller than her, a truly gargantuan creature. “Don’t worry about it, keep turning, we’ll keep it off you.” Solas told her.

“I’ve almost got it, when you get an opening, go on ahead, I’ll catch up.” She replied.

The last turn finished, she froze. The dragon was coming back, and fast. Waving them away, she backed up as quickly as she could manage, hurled out of the way by an explosive blast. Lying there for a bit, she pushed herself to stand, slowly, in case anything had broken. A figure broke through a wall of flames, coming towards her. The same eldritch horror that had been watching from before, so much eerier up close. Turning to run the other way, heavy steps and an ear-splitting roar marked the approach of the dragon. Blocked in, no way out of this, not like this. He began to speak, though she held her hand up.

“No. You don’t get to do that. If you’re here to kill me, let’s get to business, I don’t need to hear your self-important dialoguing.” She began, raising her other hand, now pulsing erratically. “Guessing you want this, ‘The mark I stole’, or what have you?”

It was likely she couldn’t get out of this anyway, why go down like a wilting flower? Some manner of magic at his disposal, perhaps? Whatever it was, it made it burn and ache in a way that was far worse than any pain she had felt from it until now.

“With that, I was going to assault the heavens themselves…” he grunted.

Looking up, she grinned. “Oh, really? So with this, I could become a Goddess, and take that away from you? Interesting. Maybe I’ll kill you and do just that…” she taunted.

Angered by her words, he lifted her by the wrist, with far more ease than should have been possible. It frightened her, suddenly aware of every nerve in her body, twisting, making her feel sick. She gathered he couldn’t remove it after all, throwing her to the side, her landing hard and painful. Her vision blurred slightly, her attention drawn to just how close she was. With a little effort, she could fire the trebuchet still, possibly even get him to leave without noticing the others. Pulling herself up, she pressed the back of her hand to her lips, noticing blood on her gauntlet.

“Well, good job, Ugly. You managed to hurt me, very few can say that.” She began. “I’m so glad we had this talk, remember what I said about not needing your self-important speeches? You should have listened to me.”

Sweeping her arms up, her lance connected, enough to trigger the equipment. No thanks to that cursed dragon, they managed an escape, dashing away, she tripped, falling.

* * *

 

Lost in the mountains, freezing and weary, recalling vaguely that she collapsed. The last thing she heard was the Commander's voice, though she was sure that he was not the last to speak. The arguments had been obtrusive enough to wake her, the memories fuzzy after that. There was singing, or had she imagined that? She must have hit her head worse than she thought, unable to recall how they arrived here. Inquisitor, that was what they were calling her now, a title that seemed ill-suited, considering how poorly she had handled Haven. The loss must have bothered her more than she thought. She stopped, watching the Commander hunched over the table, even now, unwilling to take a moment to breathe. Noticing her presence, he stopped to talk, give her updates on how things were coming along, his words strangely reassuring. The one thing that made her uncomfortable being that now, he had begun to call her ‘Inquisitor’, though she guessed it was fair, considering how she tried not to use his name either.

“I don’t like it.” She said.

“Don’t like what, ‘Inquisitor’?” he questioned, turning back to the table.

“Not really. I’ve met an Inquisitor once, in Coerthas. Always showing up just as we made progress towards our goal, working to make sure no one trusted me, or my friends…turns out he wasn’t even the real Inquisitor, he had murdered him and was impersonating him…to feel like that’s what I’m being called, it almost hurts a little, you know?” she explained. Frowning a little, she hesitated before continuing. “I didn’t think I’d make it out. If nothing else, _you_ survived. I’m glad for that much.”

He looked busy, and certainly didn’t have time to listen to her petty complaints. Turning to leave, she sighed, scraping the back of her head lightly, shoulders slumped wearily.

“You could have died…for people you barely know, you were willing to give your own life…I’ll do better, it will never happen again, I swear it.” He told her.

“Commander, it would have been worth it, to give my life to save them. I may not be of this world, and they may not be people I know well, but they have lives, families, friends, I could never handle the guilt if I hadn’t at least tried…” she sighed quietly, staring at her gauntlets then.

Another argument taking place not far off, she could hear it well. Solas, Cassandra and Vivienne arguing over Cole, what he was and whether or not he should be allowed to stay. She bowed politely, excusing herself to go deal with it, she held up a hand to silence them before they drug her into it.

“Let me straighten this out, and take heed or my words carefully. I _don’t care_ what he is, he helped.” She began, looking to Vivienne in particular. “Who are you to judge his right to be here? Do you also feel the same about me? I’m far from human, do you find me as unpleasant?”

Vivienne shook her head. “It isn’t like that, he’s different, he’s a demon, you’re not.”

“Can you say that with certainty? You don’t know a thing about me, don’t know how many lives I’ve ended simply because I was _told_ to, how many awful things I’ve had to do in the name or survival. Who decides what a demon looks like, or what makes someone into one? I can assure you, ‘demon’ is a word that has often been used to describe me many times. If Cole wants to stay, he stays, and you will treat him with the same respect and kindness anyone else would be worthy of. One wrong word, one glare, and you’re going to wish you never met me.” She swore.

In retrospect, perhaps it was a little harsh, but it had gotten to her. Far too many times had she seen people with the misplaced belief that they were better than someone else, who felt it was fine to say whatever came to mind about them. That kind of attitude did nothing to improve matters, and to let it slide was turning a blind eye to problems down the road.

 


	10. Blossom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki finds herself in a position she never thought to be in; Varric introduces her to the Champion of Kirkwall.

‘ _This is a bad idea; I shouldn’t have come here…’ she thought_

She hesitated, knocking lightly on the door. How did she come to be here? Hadn’t she been hurt enough? Why was she here, _intending_ to do something that might only serve to cause her more? She debated turning and leaving, but the door opened, Cullen standing there, looking down at her curiously.

“Ah…come in…” he said, moving away.

Her feet seemed to move almost without conscious thought, the door closing behind her.

“Is there something I can do for you?” he asked, leaning against his desk.

She watched him in silence, just for a moment, the way he nervously swept his hand against the back of his neck, trying to decide if he should look at her or somewhere else.

“I was hoping we might talk… alone?” she replied, unsure still.

“Alone?” he repeated, that same sense of nervousness in his words. “Of course.”

He gestured to a different door, walking next to her along the wall. Strange that there was a place so quiet here, when everywhere else bustled with people, lively conversation anywhere else. It was almost peaceful here, almost like they were the only two people left in the world.

“What did you want to talk about?” he asked, turning again to face her.

Yuuki stared down at her hands, a million thoughts rushing through her mind. Again wondering why she was here, or what might happen if she had imagined the looks, what he might think of her if she didn’t stop and leave now, if she actually told him what was on her mind.

“I wondered…if maybe…” she stopped, sighing anxiously, struggling to find her words. “I’ll just come out and say it…I can’t stop thinking about you, believe me, I’ve tried…”

He looked away, a warm tint rising to his cheeks, no surer of the matter than she was, that was the impression she got.

“I’ve…thought about this, a little. How I might respond in this situation…” he admitted guiltily.

“And? How does this go in your mind?” she asked, acutely aware of her rising heartbeat.

“I don’t know if I…if _we_ should. You’re not just the Herald anymore, but the Inquisitor, and this place, we can’t say for certain that it’s safe…” he stopped, taking a hesitant step towards her. “I wasn’t sure you could feel that way for me…”

Yuuki swallowed hard, looking up at him. One last chance to forget about this and get away, and she didn’t want to, either that or her legs had suddenly forgotten how to work. “Cullen…I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want this…”

He smiled, a slight one that somehow made her want to stop time, to freeze everything in this one instant.

“To ask so much of you, it feels wrong…is it wrong to want this?” he asked quietly.

She shook her head. “I don’t think it is.”

Closing the spaces between them, he reached for her, lifting her onto the wall, close enough now to sate his curiosity, to finally experience the way her lips felt, the door bursting open and a voice calling out to him. Almost perfect, but of course there was an interruption. There was always an interruption. Yuuki froze, looking away, how could she deny the obvious? The horns alone were a dead giveaway, and as far as she knew, she was the only one of her kind here, or anywhere in this world. Surely he was no fool, he would realize what he had stumbled into, and people were prone to talking. Glancing down, about to get down and excuse herself, when Cullen turned back, gloved hands sliding through her hair, easing her closer. His lips brushed against hers, gently at first, then firmer, deeper, her hands reaching to rest on his sides, unwilling to part so quickly. Her heart racing madly, the feeling like being surrounded by fire, and she couldn’t imagine not touching it.

“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to be so forward…” he murmured, a sheepish smile on his face.

Laughing quietly, she drew him closer once more. “My first kiss, you know…”

“Is that so?” he asked, his arms kept lightly around her, enjoying the moment.

“Indeed.” She answered distractedly.

He dipped his head down once more, capturing her lips again, this time, his tongue softly sweeping against her lower lip, her mouth parting slightly, eyes sliding shut indulgently. The sound of footsteps signaling that they were once again, not alone. If he was concerned about people finding out, it was probably too late for that. He pulled away, his hands resting lightly on the small of her back, her hands resting along his jaw, keeping him close. Her words vibrating across his lips, realizing that for the first time in so long, she was genuinely happy.

“Maybe we should get back, before they send a search party…” she murmured.

He sighed a bit, nodding in agreement. “I believe they would, too.”

Cullen helped her down, reaching for her hand shyly, walking with her as far as his office, busying himself with arranging papers on his desk, sneaking a glance at her on her way out. If she remembered correctly, she was supposed to head back to the battlements eventually to meet with Varric’s friend, but for now, while there was a moment to breath, she just wanted to check out her quarters, maybe set some things out and decorate, since the chance presented itself. Following the halls, only half-aware, her mind wandered off without her. It was odd, it almost felt like she had simply floated through, from his office to her room, her heart refusing to slow down, still nervous and excited at the same time. Yuuki plopped her bag on the ground, withdrawing all manner of items, placing them on her bed. It was far from her accommodations, though she doubted she would ever see her house again, which she had begun to accept. Grunting with effort, she withdrew a short couch, bearing decorative wings on the top, pushing it into place at the foot of her bed. Sure, she already had a couch in here, but this one was her favorite, why not use it? A constant breeze emanated from it, quite pleasant at times.

Grabbing her portraits from the bed, fondly tracing her fingers over the frames as she looked over them. Her eyes wandered around the room, pinpointing exactly where she wanted to put them, their names a soft sigh as she hung them up. "Raubahn, Nanamo... Kan-E Senna... Admiral Merlwyb..." a brief pause in her words as a smile broke across her face. "Cid... Minfilia... Archon Louisoix..." a laugh broke out for a moment. "Nashu and Hildibrand... "

Yuuki stared at the last portrait, swallowing hard as she told herself not to cry again. Forcing a smile, she hung it up, fondling the frame slowly in a way that meant it was painful to look at. She would never forgive herself if she hadn't kept it, and she'd outright hate it if she didn't hang it up.

"Haurchefant...” she sighed, turning away.

Reaching into her bag one last time, she pulled out a long yellow banner, hanging it on one of the doors. It filled her with a sense of pride just seeing it, her attention turning to the portrait of the Seedseer, she offered the salute of the Twin Adders. Yuuki hummed to herself as she looked around one last time before vowing to get back to her duties. The room was truly hers now, and it was as she wanted it to be. The instinct to look at 'that' portrait once more was hard to ignore, having to fight with herself just to walk out even slowly. Things were different now, and she had work to do. Skyhold was huge, and hard to navigate, thankful that the path from her room to the location of this meetup was short and easy to remember.

Sweeping a hand through her hair, she could see him waiting, hurriedly making one last attempt to compose herself. Varric waved her over, gesturing to the figure coming down the steps. A woman, human, though unlike any she had seen so far. She had short, dark hair, the clearest eyes she had ever seen, hard to look away from, all things considered. A swipe of something across the bridge of her nose, was it blood, or some type of ink? Yuuki bowed politely, waiting to be introduced.

“This is Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall.” He finally said. “Hawke, this is the Inquisitor.”

“If you prefer, feel free to call me Yuuki.” She corrected. “Before it becomes confusing, I’m not from this world, I’m embarrassed to admit, I know very little of you, or Kirkwall.”

They spoke idly for a time, before she glanced back. “Varric, you know she’ll find out, right? Am I going to be in trouble with Cassandra later?”

“Not you. It’ll be my head she calls for, trust me.” He replied dryly, leaning back against the wall.

“Have you dealt with a loss like Haven?” Hawke asked.

“Not as many people, but yes. Though I’d prefer not to think on it. A friend of mine, he was possessed, and while he was under the influence of his host… he gave up the location of the Scion’s secret base. I came back to find most had been killed, others had been taken hostage. I had been given the means to escape to safety, and the first task they assigned me was to go back and load up the bodies. After that, my next task was to bury them. It was…horrifying.” She told her, hanging her head in shame. “If I had only been there then, I could have saved them.”

“I’m told mostly everyone made it out. I’m sure you did the best you could.” She said, staring out into the yard. “Anyway…Varric thought I could give you a little insight to Corypheus. Thought I might be able to help in some way…”

“I admit that I find much of this confusing and hard to wrap my head around, but anything you can tell me, even something small…I’m glad for it…” she said.

The words were hard to say, asking for help, even with a situation like this, something she couldn’t possibly do without the help of others, wasn’t something she could do easily. That there was anything she had to rely on others for, it was hard to accept, and would only get harder with time.


	11. Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The trip to Crestwood leads to a story, and travelling to the Western Approach, a side to the Inquisitor no one expected to see: the Darkest side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Next chapter has some NSFW artwork

_Go now, my child, and shine thy Light on all creation..._

  
Yuuki halted her steps. It was the voice of Hydaelyn, trapped inside her memories. So her grasp extended this far, barely a surprise. All creation was an awfully broad term, and perhaps that was why she was here. The trip to Crestwood took much longer than she had intended it to, and her friends seemed a little irritable. Helping was fine, but there had been so many people that needed assistance, some with the simplest problems, the kind they could have managed themselves. Yet the girl did it all, with a smile regardless of how simple or complex it had been.

  
"How can you still be so cheerful? I swear, everyone is a needy pain in the ass..." Bull grumbled.

  
Undeterred, she brushed a lock of hair from her face.

  
"I help because it's the right thing to do. Even something small can mean everything." she told him.

  
"Still a pain." he countered with a groan.

  
"You know, more and more, you remind me of Fray..." she sighed thoughtfully.

  
Not saying more about it, that seemed to frustrate him even more. Raising an eyebrow, he stared at her intently.

  
"Well, is that all or are you going to elaborate?" he asked.

  
"Fray is the one who started me on the path of Dark Knight. Taught me that darkness in my heart didn't have to be a bad thing. Everywhere I went, people asked for my help, and she thought it was holding me back. I eventually found out that Fray had always been dead, and it was the crystal reacting to my touch that caused her to have form. A long story. One for another time." she said, keeping it as short as she could.

  
"Darkness, huh? Psh. " he grunted, as if he couldn't picture it.

  
The journey was about to taking them to a place called the Western Approach, leaving an opportunity. She turned to face him properly, a somehow dark grin curling her lips upward slightly.

  
"I would be happy to show you what I mean when we arrive. Just stay out of my way." she told him. Her voice was cold; unlike anything they had heard yet.

  
"I doubt it's that bad. If you can impress me, I'll buy all the drinks you can handle." he offered, holding out his hand.

  
A bet then? She was more than game. Gripping his hand, she shook it firmly. "Fine, fine. If I fail, I'll buy the drinks." she stated.

* * *

 

  
Despite the heat, Yuuki was garbed in full heavy armor, blacker than oblivion. At her side was that same great sword she had been seen with before. As she walked, it left winding cuts through the sand. The lack of anything to fight was frustrating, but the desert was large, and there had been word of demons and cultists in the area.

  
"So... I thought this place was supposed to be crawling with Vints." Bull snorted, seemingly unimpressed.

  
"Perhaps they saw you and went into hiding." Solas said, almost sarcastically.

  
"Ehh. Remember, we're supposed to 'stay out of her way'. I'm looking forward to winning." he countered with a deep laugh.

  
As though appearing strictly from wishing hard enough, a fair sized group came from behind a dune, walking slowly until they saw them. Weapons drawn as they ran towards them, the three backed away as they had been told. Gripping the sword, she lifted it easily, resting it on her shoulder for a moment. Raising her gloved hand up, a rush of blood red energy swirled around her before disappearing into her. Glancing back with that same grin, something was definitely different. The dark aura, for one. Her eyes, one normally a pale pink, the other rosy and ringed in wine red, now tinged a deep, bloody red. She turned away from them, moving faster than should have been possible, the sword swung down, bisecting the first to reach her down the middle.

  
They could see the rest hesitating for a moment, before continuing the charge. Gripping her sword, a little tighter, she brought it back up once more, that dark energy swirling around her as she stepped slowly towards them. One by one, they fell as they stepped into it, draining their lives away, the essence swallowed into her. Each assault growing increasingly violent as she walked, until only one stood. The masked Venatori dropping to his knees in fear, she squatted down, her eyes fixed on him. From the distance between them, and the wind howling through the sands, they could barely hear what she said. The way she said it inciting a mild sense of urgency between them.

  
**_"Tell me... do you fear death?"_**  she asked.

  
His answer must have been quiet, if indeed he gave any at all, for they heard nothing. Yuuki pushed herself to stand, reaching for him almost comfortingly, and for the briefest of moments, Solas found himself believing she was about to let him go. Cole gripped the brim of his hat tightly, as if knowing what was about to happen, closing his eyes. When the man stood, she thrust the fearsome blade right through, the sick sound of metal in flesh agonizingly drawn out, she pulled it out as easily as if he had been made of wet paper, the wet blood making an uncomfortable squishing sound. She shook it off, replacing it at her side. Turning back once more, she gestured ahead walking away as if nothing unusual had just occurred.

  
**_"Come, we have a job to do..."_**  she said.

  
The strange way her words hissed and echoed was disconcerting, as though it weren't her voice at all, almost. They followed, but after that display, they definitely maintained a distance. Her armor flecked with blood, but she made no effort to wipe it away, a lesson she had learned from her mentor, or more technically, from herself, she supposed. Up ahead, they saw Hawke and Stroud, waiting for them. It seemed they planned to enter as a group, but the Inquisitor pushed past them, reaching for her sword once more. It seemed she wasn't fooling around this time, or perhaps a sense of bloodlust had overcome her, they thought. The truth was much simpler, she had learned to embrace her inner darkness, and reveled in battle as Dark Knight. A beacon of hope for those lost and suffering, a source of fear for those who would bring harm, thriving in chaos. Scanning the scene as she approached, her eyes drawn to the greasy looking bastard directly in front of her.

  
He had made a show of the control he had over them, meaning there was no saving these men. That was all she needed, gripping her sword once more, she had cut them down easily. Not even demons giving her pause as she cut through them without a thought. Stopping in front of him before he could leave, her voice once more heard.

  
**_"Run. Or do you believe you alone can stand against me?"_**  she questioned.

  
The man called Livius wasted no time, scrambling to his feet, cursing her as he ran. Vowing to kill her the next time he encountered her. She sighed, removing her helmet finally, spinning around to face them finally. Her eyes had quickly returned to normal. Tilting her head very slightly, she smiled almost sweetly, in contrast to the flecks of blood that had managed to pass through to her face.

  
"Well, what do you say, Bull. Am I buying, or do you believe me now?" she asked, rather cheerfully for a woman who had just brutally slaughtered that many people.

  
He scraped his fingers against his chin in thought, shaking his head a little. "Yeah, fine. I'll buy..." he grunted finally.

  
Solas gestured to her face for a moment. "You may wish to wash that off your face before we return, at the very least. I doubt it will do for the woman in charge to be seen that way." he said quietly.

  
Yuuki huffed slightly in displeasure, her hand sweeping across her face a few times as they walked. She all but slammed her helmet back on in irritation. It was a long trip back, and his concern was a little blood on her face. Though she should have expected it, not many were comfortable sharing space with someone in this occupation, and this being their first exposure to it was probably incredibly uncomfortable. Bull was probably the most comfortable, as his job was not much different. A shared love of battle and bloodshed. Cole hadn't said a word the whole time, but being an assassin, she imagined he too, was used to taking life with ease.

  
Truth be told, until that crystal spoke to her, she had never 'enjoyed' taking life. Even when it was necessary to do so, it held no fascination. Now, like this, it couldn't be helped. The woman called Fray had in fact been 'Esteem', a darker version of herself. Despite battling herself for control, and winning, that other side was now a permanent resident that took over the moment she allowed herself to give in to that darkness. Easy enough to harness and control, for her anyway.

  
"Does that not conflict with your nature?" Solas finally asked.

  
"Absolutely not. There's a darkness within us all. It's natural and healthy. It only becomes a problem when that's all there is in your heart. It's inside you too..." she told him.

  
He paused in his steps for a moment, as though questioning if she could see through him in such a way, or if it was meant as more of a general statement. Refusing to dwell on it, he returned to his quick stride. Cole finally spoke, surprising her a little.

  
"The brightest lights cast the darkest shadows, it's alright. She is still herself." he said.

  
"Well... that's not weird at all." Bull observed with groan.

  
"It really isn't." she muttered, surprised that he, of all people would find it strange.

  
Either way, the heat was making her sweat. Blood was one thing, sweat was a different matter entirely, dirt and grime collected easily on wet skin, and the idea of a shower and fresh clothes was at the top of her list of priorities. At least in full armor like this, she wouldn't have to worry too much about dirt so much. The trip back to Skyhold would take a few days, and cross several different climate zones. It wasn't often she had been in places so vastly different from one step to the next. Thankfully, she had to brush up on a lot before she had to take off again, so she would at least have time to breathe.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Dark Knight. One of my favorite things is taking someone seen as pure and innocent and showing a trace of darkness.


	12. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Returning from the mission, the Inquisitor finds herself somewhere very familiar. Only this time, she's not alone.

The moment the group returned to Skyhold, they parted ways. Yuuki headed for the showers, stopping in her steps as someone moved toward her. She sighed to herself, but waited for the messenger to speak, some urgent business that needed to be dealt with, post haste. It had sounded serious enough to postpone her shower, thankful that she had managed to clean up a little on the way back. Stopping outside the door, she checked herself over one last time, wasting no more time.

“I’m told there’s an emergency, what happened?” She questioned, a serious tone to her words.

Cullen turned to face her, burying his face in his palm when she spoke. Sighing a bit, he shook his head. "There was no emergency, and I said that..." he grumbled to himself. "I wanted to hear the report personally. If there's still activity, I would like to deal with it quickly."

Yuuki laughed lightly. “I left no—there’s nothing there. If it would help to double check, feel free.” Trailing off slowly.

He wrote something down, likely an order. Opening a door, he handed it off to the waiting messenger. Waiting until he was certain they were gone, he reached for her hand, pulling her closer.

“Now that that’s dealt with…I’m glad you’re back.” He whispered quietly, a hint of nervousness buried carefully.

Leaning in slowly, she quickly moved to stop him. “I could really use a shower, seriously, I’m really sweaty…” she murmured.

Cullen shook his head negatively, undeterred. His hands came to rest on the small of her back, bending to kiss her, stopping only to reassure her. “I’ll let you go soon enough…”

Yuuki closed her eyes, content to enjoy it a little longer, before he let her go, just as he had said he would. She smiled shyly, heading for the door, on the other side, the very last thing she expected to see. A whirling vortex looming dangerously, ilms away, and worse, it was pulling her in. He glanced up, the sound drawing his attention, quickly reaching for her arm, holding as tightly as he could. The force was too much, swallowing them with precious little effort. The sensation was hard to describe, like time had suddenly sped up, everything too dark to see, were it not for the rough landing, it would have been easy to assume they were dead. She groaned, the light blinding, almost painful after trying to adjust to the darkness. Cullen fell out last, landing on her, flushing with embarrassment as he looked down at her.

“Well, this isn’t quite how I pictured today going, but this isn’t so bad.” He laughed nervously.

He moved to stand, holding his hand out to help her up. Barely certain of her footing, the sounds of distressed voices and metal on stone caused her to turn. Surrounded by guards, all bearing the familiar armor of the Temple Knights, but that was hardly possible. Reaching for her sword, she gave in to her darkness, eyes flashing red.

" **Back away... you don't get another warning**..." she hissed out.

The knights exchanged uncertain glances, but held fast, parting only to allow another figure to pass. Seeing who it was, she sheathed her sword, dropping to a knee, bowing low in apology.

“Ser Aymeric, please forgive me!” she apologized.

The man’s eyes widened in surprise, quickly moving closer to lift her to her feet. “Yuu? Twelve be praised, you’re alive…” he breathed.

Yuuki glanced back to Cullen, shrugging in confusion. She was thought dead? “What’s going on, why would I be dead?”

Shaking his head, he nodded towards his office. “Not here, follow me, this should be discussed…privately.”

Making sure Cullen was following, she looked back again, and he couldn’t help but notice that she seemed both nervous and sad. Picking up his pace to keep up with how quickly he was leading her away, he kept an eye on her. He had no idea where they were just yet, and he wanted to keep her safe. The walk was short enough, opening the door to the large office, taking a seat behind a grand desk. He grabbed a few cups, pouring some tea, passing them each a drink, grinning. “Well then, Lady Homura, looks like we’ll have our tea time yet.”

Piercing eyes fixed on hers, for a moment, Cullen took note of the faint blush painting her cheeks. Looking between the two of them, he took a sip.

“Lord Commander, surely this wasn’t about tea. Can we talk now?” she insisted.

The man she had called Aymeric nodded, one more keeping his focus on her as he spoke. “Lady Homura, you’ve been gone for over a year, nearly everyone thought you had died…Gods, you’ve been _sainted_! They erected a memorial statue out here…” he explained, almost not believing it himself.

She pressed her fingers to her temples as if the news itself was too painful to hear. An entire year? It couldn’t possibly have been that long, she was barely away for two months, at most. A sudden noise made her jump, a call on his Linkpearl? It had to be something important, leaving to take it in private. A short time later, he returned, bowing his head slightly.

“Forgive me for the interruption. It appears I have something that needs to be dealt with. As much as I’d love to hear what happened to you, it may be best that you rest up for now. I’m certain your friends will be eager to know you’re alright as well. Pray, don’t vanish again so soon, at least not until we’ve had a chance to catch up…” he sighed.

Clearly he was becoming busier, time for them to go. Yuuki stood up, walking back outside, stopping to look up at the sky. She turned to look at him after a few moments, smiling, happier than he could recall seeing her before. It dawned on him where they must be, sweeping his fingers slowly through her hair.

“Well, welcome home then…” he said.

“In case I never get this chance again, let me show you around.” She urged. “Besides, I have one other stop to make before I can truly ‘go home’”

Cullen reached for her hand, threading his fingers in between hers. Staying silent as she led him around and told him about the various buildings and statues. Eventually, they walked through a large gate, another long distance before she came to a stop, apparently having found what she was looking for. Sighing softly, she looked to him, a small, almost sad smile spreading across her face. Nodding towards a stone on the ground, she spoke.

“I’d… like you to meet a friend of mine.” She murmured softly.

 He took a few steps before he could see what she had been aiming at. That was when he noticed the broken shield on the ground. Dropping to his knees, he brushed the snow away from the front of the memorial, reading it in silence. Standing sometime after, he said nothing, knowing this was important for her. Recalling Haven, he guessed this was the friend she had lost, Haurchefant Greystone, the memorial read. When she was done, she turned to head back towards the gate. He glanced back one last time before they left, certain he saw a man standing next to it, deciding not to bring it up as she hadn't seemed to notice.

“Greystone?” he asked simply.

“Haurchefant was a member of House Fortemps, but he was also a bastard. Despite his family, a bastard is always interred under the name ‘Greystone’. Someday, even Lord Commander Aymeric will be buried under it.” She explained. Sniffling lightly, she carried on. “Have you ever flown before?”

"Can't say that I have." he answered, not quite sure what she meant.

She had led him to a stop next to an airship. He didn't quite know what to make of it, she realized. Reaching for his hand, she led him in slowly, the take-off not long after. It was almost a little disappointing how calm he was about it; most people were nervous on their first airship ride. Wondering if perhaps this was how she felt, falling into a world she was unfamiliar with. It was disconcerting, and he felt disadvantaged, not knowing where they were going, or what was going on. Her hands brushed against his back lightly, a smile on her face as she stared out.

"Don't worry so much. You're in my world now, I won't let anything happen to you." she assured him.

Cullen nodded, looking away for a moment. That _should_ be his line. Really not much choice but to agree, this place held dangers he couldn't yet imagine and she was the only thing familiar to him. Though he realized that while they were here, he had nothing to worry about as far as work went. No troops, no battles to plan, strange for him to have such an open schedule.

* * *

 

The trip had taken much longer than she intended it to, insistent that they press on despite that. It was like she was avoiding settlements as much as possible.

"So... is there a reason we're not stopping anywhere?" he asked, thinking she'd have wanted the chance to do the things she must have missed doing.

"There is. Spirits can be uncomfortable for people, and I'd rather not rise from my grave so quickly. No, it's better this way for now." she sighed.

There was a guard at the entrance to the next zone and he noticed she dropped her helmet down, walking past him quickly. On the other side was a place unlike anything he had imagined, a quaint forested area with houses everywhere he looked. She hadn't so much as glanced up, digging in her bag while she walked through the pathways. Did she know where she was going? Turning a corner, she stopped abruptly, withdrawing a key from her bag. Her steps clicking on the paving stones leading to the door, she unlocked it, gesturing him in. It was a very large house, and tastefully decorated, it seemed expensive.

"You can relax here, this is my house." she commented, putting the key back into her bag.

"How did you manage to afford a place like this...?" he had to ask.

"I saved for a while. I also make a lot crafting things and sell them." she explained.

“What kind of things?" he wondered aloud.

"Food, armor, leather goods, weapons. You name it, I can do it, pretty much. Anyway, kitchen is to the right, bathroom on the left, bed is upstairs. Feel free to look around, if you need anything, let me know. I'll be out shortly." she said, jogging off before he could respond.

Sighing some, he headed for the lowest level to look around. The lower floor was small, simply decorated, some kind of bath at the center of the room. Not much to see, he went back up, peering into the rooms along the entry level. He could hear water running as he paused in front of the door she had went through, his mind momentarily wandering. Eyes closing, imagining water beading on her skin, turning to gaze at him, hair wet and stuck against her chest. Shaking his head, he turned the other way before he thought too hard about that particular subject. Statues lined the hall, and at the end, the mounted head of some manner of horned beast that looked it must have been a truly fearsome foe.

  
Steps thumping on the wooden stairs echoed in the stillness leading to the highest floor. There didn't seem to be much here yet, as if she had been in the middle of decorating before something called her away. There was a large bed, some drawers and cabinets, a table and chair, and some several types of decorations on the walls. Vines grew along the walls, or so it seemed, on closer inspection it was just wallpaper. The floor looked like it was covered in lush grass, a fine natural theme that probably kept the nation she called home fresh in her mind. There was a book on one of the cabinets, the only one he could recall seeing. As tempting as it was to open it and see what was in it, he resisted, believing it might be something private if it was in her room.

  
He turned back, convinced he had seen everything the house had to offer. Going back down the stairs, he stopped midway when he saw her in front of the door. She stood there, hair wet and sticking to her chest, a towel wrapping the back of her neck as she made an effort to dry the long locks, water beading on her skin and rolling down. Her eyes opening slowly, seeming far away for a moment before she noticed him.

  
"Shower's free if you wanted..." she murmured. As if remembering that he had arrived with nothing, she frowned slightly. "Ahh... duh. You probably want clothes, don't worry about it, I'll have something ready in a bit." she said absentmindedly.

Cullen used her distraction to slip away quickly. A shower might be the best thing after all. The moment she heard water, she left, turning down the short path, ending with a large board. Regretting the lack of finery, she imagined he might enjoy as she browsed the market in silence. Settling on something, she frowned a little as she carried it back. Not being from here, he was likely going to hate it, but it was something clean, anyway. On arrival, she hesitated, opening the door only as wide as she needed to put the clothes out for him. While she waited, Yuuki sat in a chair by the stairs, stretched across it sideways. It wasn't much longer before she heard him groan, her species having excellent hearing. He stepped out, eyes darting to her immediately.

"Please tell me you didn't get me a dress..." he grumbled.

Tipping her head back, she glanced over, upside down. "It isn't a dress. It's a bolero, and I swear a lot of guys wear it..." she defended.

He shook his head slightly. This was ridiculous, and highly impractical for combat, hard to believe anyone would... recalling some of the gear she had worn, he heaved a sigh. Clearly practicality was less of a concern here. At least it fit, so that was something. Sitting up, her gaze looking over him slowly. He would be less conspicuous now, sure, but she had to admit, he looked good,  _very good_. She huffed to herself, quickly withdrawing upstairs without a word. An odd reaction that he hadn't actually expected. Following her after some time, she was digging through a box of some sort. Not glancing back, she spoke.

"I'm sorry to say, I just have the one bed. If you don't mind so much, we could share..." she sighed.

Clearly she hadn't found what she was looking for, pushing it under the bed. That she was already up here seemed to indicate she was getting ready to turn in, though it didn't seem to be very late. Possibly out of a desire to get an early start. As he thought, she crawled into the bed, not bothering with the covers, her hands draped across her exposed stomach.

"I don't mind..." he said finally, rubbing the back of his neck slowly. He only hoped he wouldn't make a fool out of himself, stretching out next to her as he tried not to overthink it too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I admit it, I really just wanted an excuse to put Cullen in an Thavnairian Bolero >>; 
> 
> Needless to say, the next chapter will be getting 'friendly'. Sorry about that.


	13. A Fire Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Beds are for more than just sleeping, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is 110% smut, and can be skipped to resume the actual story.

Yuuki turned to face him, her hair concealing her left eye so only the rosy, ringed eye was visible. Cullen took a closer look at her, noticing the way the scales on her face arranged in a way that almost resembled regal adornments. He hesitantly reached out, fingertips slowly tracing the ones along her throat, like elegant black jewelry, permanent fixed around her slim neck, though he pulled away when he felt her stiffen. He had worked so tirelessly not to notice the details before, but this close, like this, it was harder to ignore. Interesting arrangements of scales trailed down her arms, more at her wrists, following the curvature of her waist and hips. They extended along the sides of her hip bones, down her legs, around her ankles, certain that there had to be more along her back. It was unusual to him, though he found they did nothing to detract from her beauty. He glanced back up, his eyes falling to rest on her lips, as they so often did, now parted slightly with her soft breathing.

“Do you like them?” she asked gently, barely above a whisper.

He glanced down briefly, hovering just below her collarbone, thinking she was referring to something else entirely. When it struck him that she was asking about her scales, he blushed faintly, nodding once.

“I do. They’re softer than I expected…” he mumbled.

Tipping her head slightly, her lips pressing delicately against his in a fleeting moment. It was an earnest attempt to help him relax, seemingly doing very little to help. He frowned when she pulled away, clearly agitated.

“Have I done something wrong?” she questioned.

Burying his hands in her hair, he stared into her eyes, sighing. “I’m not sure you realize _what_ you’re doing…I’ve been doing my best, and I can’t resist forever…”

Cullen pulled her closer once more, seeking out her lips. Easily pressing her mouth open, his tongue tracing her lower lip, twisting slowly against hers. She brought her hands to rest at the back of his neck, her heart beating faster. He moved to lay against her, his hands resting gently on her shoulders, breaking the kiss. It wasn’t as though he had any experience with this kind of situation, and there was no way to know if it was different for someone like her. All he could do was try, going for her throat, mouth pressed gently on the sensitive area. Her eyes slid shut, and she gasped, her hands rising to scrape through the back of his hair. Encouraged by her reaction, he continued lower, just below her neckline, his tongue swiping a path down, stopping at the edge of her shirt. Shifting uncomfortably, he sighed, the thin fabric between them doing nothing to help matters.

Sneaking away from her shoulders, his palms halting over her chest, his touch nervous, almost hesitant. Soft here too, he realized her armor had concealed more than what he imagined, not that he had thought about her like this! Her breasts spilling over what he could easily hold. Letting go, he closed his eyes, laying his head on her chest, wondering what he was doing to her. The girl underneath him was one or two steps away from being a goddess here, and in Thedas, she was practically holy too. He had no business doing this to her, no matter how strong the urge was, and even if they were together, it felt like something he wasn’t supposed to do. Cullen began to pull away, her silken voice cutting the silence.

“Don’t stop…” she murmured, unable to look at him as she spoke.

“I shouldn’t do this…” he said, keeping his head down.

The light scent of lavender hanging on her skin was tempting, and she was invitingly warm. If he didn’t stop now, he wouldn’t have the resolve needed to leave. Yuuki slid her hands under the front of the open vest, her fingers gently scraping against his chest, conveying a sense of urgency and need she couldn’t quite understand. The options seemed unfair, stop now, knowing he could never face her without a lingering sense of awkwardness between them, or give in and allow himself to be ashamed that he couldn’t handle this close proximity without caving. She squirmed, drawing his attention back to her, rolling slightly, removing the camise she wore. Any desire he may have had to get away left with that top, sighing as he leaned down. His tongue swept across her breast, moaning quietly, mouth closing over a nipple, the sound vibrating across her skin. She reached for his hand, placing it loosely over her other breast, her hand resting on his.

Any chance he had of denying his interest had vanished, pressing against her, panting quietly. Letting her go, he came back up, capturing her lips once more. His fingers wandered slowly down her stomach, halting before passing under the band of her shorts. He rubbed against her gently, slipping his hand under her panties after a moment, a quiet moan lost in the kiss. Slowly, almost cautiously touching her, he slid a finger in, feeling her tense at first. That she didn’t try to stop him told him she wasn’t disliking the attempt, at least. She felt warm, wet, shivering mildly, and to him that seemed like a sign she wanted more. He pulled away, taking a deep breath, tugging her bottoms off, taking in the way she looked like this, trying to memorize every line and curve in his mind. Cullen shrugged off the vest, quickly removing the bracers, letting them fall. Yuuki surprised him, her hands resting on his hips, working to help him with the unusual bottoms. He blushed faintly, looking away while she did, too nervous to watch her, partly to avoid seeing how she might react.

Leaning against her again, his heart racing, gently nipping at the side of her neck. Again, his hand wandered down her body, resting on her thigh, parting her legs. She held his shoulders loosely, closing her eyes, her breath catching in anticipation. He gripped her hip, holding his breath, finding it harder than he imagined it would be, pressing into her slowly. Exhaling against the curve of her neck, wondering if he had hurt her, concerned when she whimpered. The way it felt was hard to put into words, the way she drew her knees against his sides causing him to abandon the search for the right description. His pace was slow at first, to give them both time to adjust, though partly to watch her a little longer. It was strangely exciting to see her like that, knowing that he was the first –maybe the only person, who would ever see that expression. It wasn’t long before he found himself wanting more, driven on by an almost gnawing feeling. He brought his hand back a little further, firmly grasping her ass, pulling her against him harder. The last of the invisible restraints he had placed on himself, that held him back, snapping away. Thrusting into her hard enough to physically move her underneath him, back and forth, the silky bedding feeling uncomfortably scratchy and rough along her back.

Yuuki writhed under him, pressing a hand to cover her mouth as if the sounds she couldn’t help making were too embarrassing, too shameful to hear. Her muscles drew tighter, shivering visibly, a sudden wet warmth rolling down her thighs in between them. His teeth biting, scraping along her shoulders, blunted nails scratching her as they dug in, muffled panting encouraging him. A growl caught low in his throat, his body pinning her to the mattress, faster and more insistent now. Cullen buried a hand in her hair, holding her tightly to him, panting heavily against her neck, straining to hold back, as he came. Stilling after the last of the shocks had stopped, his breath still shaking, he laid his head on her chest. After some time, he lazily twisted free of her, wincing slightly as he did, his arms slipping around her waist.

Glancing at him as her eyes opened, she couldn't quite bring herself to say anything. She wasn't actually sure if she was supposed to say something, either way, sleep was beckoning her away from her thoughts, drifting off little by little, unable to recall the exact moment when she fell asleep completely. Cullen watched her quietly for a bit, arguing with himself in his mind until he grew too tired to think straight. Regardless of what he thought, what was done was done, and there really wasn't a point in overthinking it now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, okay, so I think that's easily the longest incident of smut I've even written. Interesting.


	14. Breezes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally catching up with her friends once again, a situation breaks out that takes Yuuki away from them right away. The Scions wait for her to return patiently, but Cullen wonders why it isn't worthy of more concern.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those interested in seeing Garuda -- The Lady of the Vortex, here's her Cutscene. https://youtu.be/W0A-o8P4MRY
> 
> Warning: It does get pretty loud.

The lights breaking through the windows was mildly unpleasant, rolling onto his stomach. Cullen reached out, but his hand found only the rumpled sheets as he did. Sitting up, he looked around, not seeing her anywhere. Already awake, this early? Even at Skyhold the girl was known to get up after almost everyone else had risen. Getting up, he stumbled out of the bedroom, raking his fingers sleepily through his hair. When he reached the stairs, an interesting smell caught up to him, heading down curiously to investigate. She stood there, clad in some frilly apron and not one scrap more, seemingly concentrating. A short wooden table had been set out, pillows on the floor on either side, some manner of actually edible food visible. When she stopped what she was doing, she placed two cups of tea on the table, gasping audibly when she noticed him.

 

"You're up awfully early. I thought you'd still be in bed..." he said, not looking away from her.

 

 "At least here, I always am. Breakfast doesn't make itself. What they call breakfast back there, I wouldn't feed to my worst enemy..." she grumbled.

 

 She knelt down on the pillow, gesturing for him to take a seat. He sat across from her, hesitantly poking the food with a fork. He couldn't readily identify what it was, though it certainly looked and smelled just fine. Laughing quietly, she gathered he wasn't sure what to make of it, deciding to just tell him.

 

 "Dodo omelet, aldgoat steak and Ishgardian tea. Trust me, it's the best you'll find without going back to Ishgard." she told him.

 

 This seemed to be enough for him, and he was content to eat the offered food. It didn't have to be perfect, it was already better than what he was used to. "If you didn't have enough to do, I'd fire the cook and give you his job..." he grunted.

 

 "I wish. I'd prefer that to the other things. I mean, do something I like, or hunt down ancient evils... Well, no... there was Xande, and that was pretty fun, I guess..." she said, trailing off for a moment.

 

 Her eyes were focused on him, a bit distracted by his continued lack of clothing. When she realized she had been staring, she turned her attention to the tea. Her tongue darted out and across her lips slowly, wiping away the beads gathered there. Clearing his throat then, his hand ruffling his hair.

 

 "Well, what's the plan for the day?" he asked, uncomfortable enough without something to keep him busy here.

 

Sighing a bit, she took care of the empty dishes, her back to him as she considered their options. "My linkshell was damaged at some point, I can't reach Minfilia. I suppose that going to the headquarters would be the place to start. If there's anyone not present, she'll know how to reach them. I need to know what's happening out there." she explained with some barely concealed sense of concern.

 

Cullen came up behind her then, slipping his arms around her waist, his head resting against hers. "This is your domain; I'll go wherever you lead." he said honestly. Left to his own devices, he was sure he'd eventually get somewhere. Best just to follow for now.

 

What she did know was that the armor he had come with wouldn't guard against much. The problem was not knowing if anything she could make would work either. Not being from here, she doubted he had a soul crystal of any kind, and no proper job. If she had to guess, she would say Paladin, easy enough to outfit if it would work. She carefully pulled his hands away from her, sneaking into a nearby room where she kept all her best crafting supplies. The sound of hammering was a bit worrisome, but he made no move to follow, not wanting to distract her from whatever she was doing in there. It surprised him how quickly she came out, arms full of armor and some manner of sword he had never seen, a shield hanging off her back. Yuuki dumped them into his arms, pressing her fingertip into her mouth, a slight burn visible on the side.

 

"Try those on. If they work for you, it will really help. No offense, but what you have won't get you far here." she said, waving him off.

 

He said nothing, walking out of view to change. There was no denying that it was good work for how fast she had produced it, no unneeded dents. What the hell did they teach people here that she could do all these things? More impressive still was that it actually fit, not too tight or too loose. He found himself wishing he had the means to bring more people here, if only to study. walking back out, her eyes scrutinizing everything, one final check to make sure it was fine. If she learned anything, it was that even the smallest flaw in the gear could cost him his life, and she didn't want to be responsible for another lost life. As though he could read her thoughts, he grinned, shaking his head.

"Don't worry so much, it's fine..." he assured her.

 

She opened a small case then, examining the gems inside. He was ready to go; it was time for her to get ready as well. Touching a small leaf-colored stone, there was a flash of light, that familiar scant outfit covering her. She pointed to the door, raising her eyebrows.

 

"Have you ever ridden before?" she asked curiously.

 

Fighting back the urge to make a joke, he nodded. "I have." he replied simply.

 

She headed out the door, pausing to lock it when the door closed. Grabbing a whistle from her bag, he heard only a faint sound, a giant bird approaching quickly. Scratching it lightly for a few moments, she climbed up into the saddle, holding on loosely while waiting for him to get on. Cullen managed after a short time, clearly not sure how this was supposed to go.

 

"It's a draught chocobo. They're meant to be this large. Legs are built for long journeys, with a heavy burden. Easiest way to travel by land short of the aetheryte network." she explained.

 

Noticing she was waiting for something, he grasped her waist firmly. Without needing direction, the bird began to run, much faster than he expected from such muscular bird. Yuuki spoke, but it was hard to hear with the wind swallowing her words.

 

"We could well have taken Sebastian, but he can only carry one rider, I apologize if this is a bit disconcerting. “she said.

 

He had no idea who Sebastian was, but this wasn't terrible. All he knew was that the landscapes passed by too quickly for him to get a decent enough look for clues as to where they were going.

* * *

  Even with the fast bird, the journey was longer than he had thought, and the location when they finally stopped was bizarre. Despite all the places here, the streets seemed a little dead compared to the other places they had seen so far. Waiting until he was out of the way safely, she dismounted, rewarding the creature with a bit of food and some more scratching. Gesturing to the building they had stopped in front of, she halted just inside the door. Her eyes fixing on a pale blonde at the bar, walking up beside him, she bent down next to him, whispering something in his ear. Somehow, this was a little uncomfortable to watch. The figure turned around, not yet looking at her, his hand reaching for her side as he stood up. Cullen moved to stand between them then, but he wasn't sure if it was out of duty or jealousy.

 

"Ahh, a bodyguard. I never thought you'd need one of those, _Saint Yuuki of the Silver Fuller_..." he said, his voice oozing charm.

 

 Her eyes dropped to the floor, looking a little wounded as he said that. "I'm no Saint, and that... that title doesn't belong with me." she sighed.

 

"You should wear it with pride, it passed to you because you were his friend, it was what he would have wanted." he scolded, not paying Cullen any mind.

 

"So, you don't seem too surprised to see me, Thancred..." she said after a moment.

 

His lips curled into a prominent grin. "When am I not happy to see a beautiful woman? Seriously, name one time." he challenged. "I didn't believe you were ever dead. You aren't the type to die. Well, _okay..._ not often. I'll follow you in, the others shouldn't be too busy." he said, tipping back a drink.

 

Seemingly tired of being ignored, he finally turned to the other man, a hint of irritation in his voice. "I'm not a bodyguard, so you know." he said.

 

"A shame, if she were someone else, I wouldn't mind guarding it for her..." he joked with a laugh.

 

Yuuki didn't bother looking back, picking up on the quiet conversation. "Cullen, don't mind him. Thancred is a flirt, but he's only a danger on the battlefield." she told him, pushing through a door.

 

Strange that no one was in the halls, if they were supposed to be not busy. They must be in a meeting. One might normally not interrupt, but if it was serious enough for everyone to gather, it was better that she did. Bursting through the door, the whole room fell silent, turning to face them.

 

"Don't look so unhappy to see me..." she teased.

 

Thancred joined the others, and Yuuki pointed to everyone, one by one. "I'll introduce you. Urianger, no one better with lore and Primals. Minfilia, Alphinaud and Alisaie, and Tataru." she said, looking around after a moment. "You've already met Thancred."

 

There were usually more, but they could easily be out taking readings. Without knowing who he was, they welcomed him kindly regardless. She went to introduce him next, but she realized it would be rather hard to explain that he was in charge of the Inquisition's forces. It wouldn't make sense to them.

 

"This is... Cullen, he's with me." she said, saying the first logical thing that came to mind.

 

"Where have you been all this time?" Alphinaud asked, circling her slowly as if checking to make sure she was really here after all.

 

"Another world." she replied dryly as if that kind of thing happened a lot.

 

"Really?" he pressed in disbelief.

 

"I mean it. Another world. I have no idea what force was behind it, or why there specifically, it just happened." She grumbled.

 

"It may be possible that there is a clue in the aetheric residue around you." he paused, reaching for the capelet covering her shoulders. "If I may?" he asked.

 

Yuuki gave a nod, and he carefully pulled it off. "It may take time for a conclusive answer." he said.

 

"That reminds me, my linkshell was damaged, I have no way to get ahold of you right now. I wish it would have worked before I got here." she sighed.

 

"A little digging might explain that too. If this other world is aligned with this one, it seems possible in theory that communication between them could be sorted." he explained.

"I wonder if they are. Time passes differently here and there. I've only been there a few months, but here it's been much longer." she stated.

 

"It doesn't directly write off a connection, they might well have been synced in time, but something skewed it." he said.

 

A crackle came through, and Minfilia turned away for a moment, her voice rising in urgency the longer the conversation carried on. Yuuki felt a sense of dread, that was never a good sight, it was the one just before she sent her out to work. Her stomach dropped and she whispered quietly to Cullen then. "I'll need to go again. I guarantee it." she sighed.

 

As expected, she turned back when she was through talking, her expression serious. "I'm very sorry to ask, considering you've only just returned to us." she began.

 

"Just tell me who it is, and I'll get going..." she said.

 

"The Lady of the Vortex, Garlean activity has made the beastmen desperate enough to attempt a summoning." she confirmed.

 

Yuuki laughed a little bit, a grin breaking over her then. "This, I like. I can handle this." she claimed enthusiastically.

 

She turned, heading for the door then. Cullen began to follow, but Thancred grabbed his arm, speaking quietly to him. "You may not want to get involved in this. She's the only one capable of dealing with this. You'll help more waiting here with us." he said.

 

"I can't just leave her to something that could bring her harm..." he countered.

 

"She always comes back. Trust me, it'll be faster to wait here and let her go alone." he urged.

 

Before he could argue about it anymore, she was gone, only glowing traces like diamond left in her place. "What was that?" he questioned.

 

Thancred nodded to where she had been. "Aetheryte network. She's attuned to crystals everywhere in her travels, so she can just teleport directly between them. Easier to get to where she needs to go." he said.

 

"This... Lady of the Vortex, how dangerous is she?" he asked.

 

Alisaie grabbed a book from the shelf, identical to the one in the room at her house. Flipping it open and setting it down in front of him, she spoke. "This was the last time they met in battle. Touching it should show you the battle as though you were there." she told him.

 

"She'll be stronger this time. They've amassed more crystals than any incident before..." Minfilia said.

 

So that was what the book was, a record of her journey, captured in almost eidetic memory between pages. Thedas definitely didn't have anything like it. What he saw made the hair on the back of his neck prickle slightly, watching in its entirety before looking away.

 

"Maker, she barely survived that encounter, and you say she's even stronger this time? How do you expect her to deal with this alone?" he asked.

 

Alphinaud brought his hand up to his chin. "Urianger, would you not benefit from studying him too?" he commented, continuing. "You have a lot to learn. Look at a few more. You will see there has been nothing that could stand up to her." he said gently, trying to comfort him.

 

If they made it back from this, he really hoped that was enough to carry her through the challenges waiting for her there. Just a brief encounter with Corypheus had nearly broken her, could she really stand a chance of destroying him completely as things were? These people believed in her unwaveringly, and he owed it to her to have that same level of belief. Difficult to picture how one continent could even be worthwhile to her with a whole world wrapped around her little finger this way.

 

"At least I can see why you'd want to saint someone like that." he said after browsing through the book in silence for a time.

 

"Ahh, yes, Lady Homura, patron saint of cracking skulls and stabbing dragons." Thancred joked.

 

"Stabbing dragons?" he asked, brow lofted in doubt.

 

"Yes, stabbing dragons. If you get a chance, you should see the memorial statue. Fancy spear? Her dream was to become a dragoon, and while she dabbles in everything, she always comes back to it eventually. I'm sure it's like an awful family reunion." he laughed.

 

For a time, things grew quiet again, only the sounds of breathing heard, everyone involved in pacing, or relaxing while they waited. It was maddening how casually everyone acted, as though they sent her out to gather herbs or something mundane instead of potentially life threatening.

 

"What exactly is a primal supposed to be?" he asked, needing to fill the silence.

 

"The gods of the beast races. Basically." Thancred offered.

 

'Oh. A god, clearly no cause for concern.' he thought sarcastically.

 

"You're not the type who relaxes, ever, are you? A nice girl, someone who can calm you down before your heart explodes." he grunted.

 

Well, before they sent her off, he had that. Now she was off somewhere poking a goddess on purpose. This was probably the worst suggestion he had ever taken in his life. Wait here, she'll come back soon. How soon was soon? More importantly, was the hope that he could get her back before there was nothing to go back to.

 

The door opened, and everyone glanced up. It was Tataru, coming back with tea, no one had noticed she left awhile back. She passed around the tea, taking a seat in a chair that seemed too high for her, her feet dangling off the edge.

 

"She's been seen, you know. guards patrolling near the crystal reported she arrived safely. Things aren't destroyed yet, so she must be doing alright." the Lalafellin woman said, taking a sip of her tea.

 

Thancred noticed the grumpy way he was being watched, and he silently nodded his head toward the young man behind him. Noticing the strange look Tataru gave him, he cleared his throat, clarifying. "It's a guy thing, don't worry about it." he told her.

 

She raised her brows slightly, but said nothing. The whole thing was terribly fascinating. Two men who had only just met earlier, deeply engaged in a silent conversation of looks and gestures. She couldn't make heads or tails of what they were trying to convey, turning for a moment to look at Urianger, who was also observing. He seemed to understand the conversation as well, though he wasn't participating actively, only nodding here and there.

 

Static again, Minfilia turned away then, speaking quietly. It sounded important, this time much shorter than the call before. "That was Y'shtola. She was in the area monitoring the situation, things are returning back to normal. She will be back shortly; it appears they will be arriving by land instead of crystal." she said.

 

"That's a bit unusual, I wonder why they wouldn't just teleport back." Alisaie wondered aloud.

 

"I don't know, but if Y'shtola is with her, she's in good hands." Tataru said cheerfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still think Savage mode primals should be a thing..


	15. Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Returning from the fight with the Lady of the Vortex, more familiar faces gather. A theory, a battle and a plan to get back ensues.

The doors burst open, and a woman walked in, carrying Yuuki on her back. Everyone moved out of her way as she laid her on Minfilia’s desk. She bore cuts and gashes all along her body, unconscious.

  
"Godsdamn... how bad was the fighting?" Thancred wondered aloud.

  
The woman didn't look up, a swirl of energy encircling the girl. "It... was bad. Oh, certainly she won, the amount of aether dissipating was visible from Dragonhead. " she said, seemingly distracted.

  
"Will she be alright?" Tataru questioned.

  
"This is the first opportunity I've had to look. As you might imagine, the beasts didn't take well to their goddess being slain... again." she answered.

  
After some time of waiting, the gashes began to mend slowly. Though before they disappeared entirely, the energy had vanished. She repeated the feat again, observing quietly.   
"Y'shtola, aside from the obvious, was there anything of note to report?" Minfilia asked.

  
"There has been increased activity around the Vigil, but it's nothing to worry about. Easy enough for the guards to handle if they start moving. There's nothing out there that seems a large enough threat at present." she confirmed.

  
The wounds finished sealing, and the girl sat up slowly. Looking around, she groaned a little. "Well... that was fun." she mumbled.

  
"Your definition of 'fun' is somewhat skewed..." Thancred sighed.

  
"Are you feeling better already?" Cullen asked then, wondering if she should be up so quickly.

  
She nodded, gesturing to the woman once more. "Y'shtola's a healer, one of the best I know..." she said.

  
"I'm  _alright_. I'm not really anywhere near the best in Eorzea. To hear the tales, you're the next best healer to Master A-Towa himself." she laughed.

  
She frowned a little, looking away then. "I'm worthless as a healer. If I had any true talent, why is Ysayle gone? Why am I stuck looking at a monument instead of talking to my friend?" she replied.

  
"Ahh. It was careless of me to say that. Think of it this way though, if you weren't capable, why is it you can only recall the loss of a few people, compared to the number of lives you've held that didn't die?" she questioned.

  
This seemed a cold way to go about things, but Cullen reserved any judgment on the subject for the time being. This group seemed awfully familiar, speaking to her not as a near-holy entity, but as a person. He could scarcely imagine anyone treating her so casually.

  
"Of course, you're right... I shouldn't be so hung up on that, but I can't help it. Don't forget though, you all gave me that same scare. You just had the sense to come back to me." she sighed.

  
Before the conversation could continue, the door flung open again, and she found herself quickly lifted into the air. Glancing down she noticed the Lalafell clinging to her leg, and a white haired man smiling jovially behind them.

  
"Cid, there you are! I was beginning to wonder where you had gotten off to. Hello, Biggs, Wedge. " She said, wincing a little.

  
The man put her down and the littler of the two let go of her leg. She took a deep breath, quickly brushing her hair back into place.

  
"We had been trying to figure out what happened with that hole. It was actually Wedge who theorized you may have survived." Cid said.

  
"What hole...?" she asked.

  
It was clear she didn't remember it. "We were sent up to look into a barrier. The hole opened up and to prevent the whole ship from going down, you jumped in. I meant to follow anyway, but it closed up right after." he explained.

  
" _A hole_.  _In the sky_. You  _jumped_  in. Somehow, I'm hardly surprised by these things, at this point..." Cullen muttered, rubbing his brow.

  
She grinned then. "Why not? Jumping into sky-holes sounds like fun. Remember, I also fell out of a sky hole, before someone decided I'd make a better prisoner than hero." she teased.

  
Cullen seemed a little flustered by that. "That wasn't my idea. I'm not the one who threw you in the dungeon." he defended.

  
"Dungeons, now that does sound like fun." Thancred joked, trying to alleviate the tension.

  
Choosing to ignore it, she looked back to the man called Cid. "So, what did you find out, anything worth sharing?" she asked.

  
"In fact, we have. The site left behind a massive amount of aetheric energy. Wherever you landed is at least, aetherically connected to Eorzea. There was no hint of the energy in that location prior to its appearance. We have no means to predict where the next event might occur, but it's a start. " he explained.

  
That meant that going back was still a possibility, but with randomized tears, a way to reach the next one before it vanished might not be possible. She leaned against the desk, brow furrowed as she thought about it. Cullen reached for her hand then. "Now isn't a good time..." she mumbled thoughtlessly.

  
" _No_. I mean your hand..." he emphasized.

  
Turning her attention to it, she understood what he meant. This mark that allowed her to exert some control over fade rifts. She had been able to close them before, but what if she could open them here and use them to get back?

  
"You're brilliant... I hadn't even thought of that..." she admitted.

  
"What?" Cid asked.

  
She held her hand up, pulling the short black glove from her hand. The glowing mark on her hand a sudden source of fascination for the gathered group.  
"What is it?" Tataru asked.

  
"Depends on who you ask" she sighed irritably, thinking about it. "It was either a complete accident or a divine blessing. Either way, where I ended up, it helps to seal rifts in the sky. Awful things, full of demons. If I could open a rift here, it may act as a portal back." she finished.

  
Reaching in her bag, she pulled out something, popping it into her mouth with a sigh, surprised by a sudden crackle. A message, and by the sounds of the shouting, it was urgent.

  
_"Behemoth sighting in the Dominion. Get to safety!"_  the panicked voice said.

  
Pulling the candy from between her lips she smiled. "I don't know about you, but I'm not going to sit by and let others take my toy away." she joked, pushing back from the desk.

  
"You're not in any condition!" Y'shtola scolded.

  
"I'm going anyway. Come with if you want." she said, rushing out the door.

  
Thancred rolled his eyes. "There she goes again. I'll go with..." he sighed.

  
"Is she always so impulsive?" Cullen asked.

  
"No. Usually she's worse." the blonde shot back as he left too.

  
Y'shtola followed behind, turning back at the door. "Well then, Cullen was it? Will you be coming with?" she asked.

  
He didn't give it a second thought, exiting with the others. Glancing back, he noticed all but the woman behind the desk had formed a line, walking out with her. The trip was surprisingly long, and they had lost track of her in the deep snow. Less surprising was that they seemed to know exactly where to go anyway.

* * *

 

  
Standing next to her was a smaller bird from before, pink in color and clad in armor. She whipped a book away from her belt, turning the pages. Reading in the middle of battle? Pulling her hand back after a moment, a yellow glow erupted and a small yellow creature hovered in midair by her side.

  
"Oh... she's taking it seriously after all." Y'shtola sighed.

  
"Why do you say that?" Cullen asked.

  
"Titan, right off the bat? She usually starts out slow and easy. A little foreplay to warm up the battle, then a little heat, then she goes for the kill with Titan." Thancred explained.

  
An awfully kinky explanation of battle. He wondered for a moment if he should have expected anything less. Cid glanced towards his associates, pointing up.

  
"Get the ship up. We'll provide aerial flanking cover." He ordered.

  
With the push of a button, a large airship roared to life from under a high drift of snow, and they jumped in, flying up.

  
"I'll stand back and provide healing and shields..." Y'shtola said, running into range.

  
Cullen followed by Thancred, unsure what exactly the protocol for defeating such a large beast was. It was good that they knew, at least. He caught up with her after a bit, questioning how she intended to fight from a distance like this. She turned her head slightly, looking at him for just a moment.

  
"Commander, have you ever fought beside a Saint before?" she asked jokingly.

  
"No, Inquisitor, I can't say that I have." he replied quietly.

  
"Normally, I'd say your place is at the front, but I have no idea if you can actually access any Paladin skills. Go for hind legs and you should be fine." she said, focused on the conflict.

  
He sighed a bit, running in then. She spoke, despite her eyes being firmly fixed on her summon, flinging debilitating spells when opportunities presented themselves.

  
"Alphinaud, I can't look away, are you here?" she asked.

  
"Alisaie too. I'm working on it!" he called back.

  
A moment later, a fluffy red creature ran ahead of them. "I appreciate it." she said.

  
"Sure, but would you not be more comfortable with a lance?" he asked.

  
"A bit late for that now, isn't it?" she laughed.

  
"I can keep him busy long enough for you to retreat and change." he said.

  
She seemed to be considering this, calling Titan back to her side, running a short distance away. Giving him a nod, she allowed him to control the fight for a moment. Flicking open her case, her fingers brushing a different stone. In a flash, she stood in different armor, a large spear supporting her.

  
"Alphinaud, that was a naughty suggestion, how are we supposed to demonstrate skill in combat if you hand the fight to her like that?" Thancred shouted back.

  
"It would be worse later had I not. You know she can't resist poking things." he joked.

  
Looking up, they saw her crash down onto it's back. An impossible jump, by normal standards. The crimson energy flowing around her instilled a sense of danger, not directed at them, but at the gargantuan beast. Slamming the head of the spear down between its massive shoulder blades, she reached down, gripping its mane tightly.

  
"Good time to back up some, she pissed it off. Don't want to get trampled." Thancred warned.

  
Not needing a second warning, Cullen backed away, matching the positioning of the others as best as he could. It was a little frustrating, not since his training had he felt so unfamiliar in battle as he did here. As predicted, the creature began thrashing wildly, trying to dislodge the cold metal from it. She pulled harder on the thick hair, jamming it in deeper to hold on better. A well timed wave of its head flung her back, though she spun for a moment in midair, sliding back in the thick snow.

  
"Any problem if I use the Break?" she shouted in question.

  
"You'll get no arguments here." Thancred said.

  
A healing Break was unnecessary, and she was sure Cullen didn't even have one, not that a tank Limit would be needed either. If Thancred didn't mind, that was all the permission she needed.

  
"I love this part..." she sighed blissfully.

  
A huge burst of light overcame the field, what was left in view as it dispelled was a gigantic spectral dragon. It disappeared for a moment, before bursting through the side of the beast, a horrifying roar breaking through the still air as it vanished. The collapse shook the earth all around them, clouds of snow flying upward and settling. Yuuki kept her spear raised, striding towards the fallen monster, her hand placed firmly on one of its horns, digging the tip of her spear under it as she pulled it out. Going to the other side, she repeated this. Turning away at last, she turned to leave, the group reforming behind her. Cullen came up beside her, his voice quiet as he addressed her.

  
"Just so you know, I don't think I've ever been more attracted to you as I am at this moment." he growled.

  
She beamed with delight, winking at him then. "Oh, you liked that, did you?" she murmured quietly.

  
"What are you kids talking about?" Thancred asked, glancing between them.

  
"Kid? I'm pretty sure I'm not quite 'kid' material anymore." he huffed.

  
"Alright, fair enough gramps. Her though..." he trailed off, seeing the look she gave him.

  
"Thancred, please tell me it doesn't still mystify you..." she sighed.

  
"What?" Cullen asked.

  
The group halted, and Thancred reached for the twins, pulling them to stand beside Yuuki. She rolled her eyes with a disgusted sigh. It was definitely still irritating him. She was only a little taller than they were, compared to the constant youthful appearance of Elezen people, she hadn’t seemed much older.

  
"These three? All the same age." he said.

  
"It's true." she sighed a bit, shaking her head. "Not that it matters, anyway, we should get back. We have our theory, shouldn't it be time to test it out?" she pressed.

  
"Fine, fine..." he muttered.

  
They decided to stop at a campsite not far from where they had been. The current situation would require some discussion.

  
"If I can pull this off, opening a rift here... It's going to be dangerous, even more without communication." Yuuki said.

  
"I'd like to go with." Urianger said, offering no explanation.

  
"I imagined you would. You should be able to gather more conclusive readings. I hesitate to agree, I don't know for sure what we'll see, and I may not be able to keep you safe..." she said.

  
"Do you really think he's concerned? He's a big boy, he can take care of himself. Besides, everyone here has had their lives in your hands more times than we can count. Trust is a word that goes far, you know." Thancred told her.

  
"Well, we're going too then." Cid stated. "If anyone can find a way to communicate between the worlds, it's us. You know that."

  
"If I said no, would that stop you?" she asked.

  
Cid shook his head.

  
"So I see. I suppose right here is as good a place as any. Far enough away from anyone else. Those not coming with should back away..." she said.

  
She took her gauntlet off, tucking it under her arm. Part of her believed this wouldn't actually work, the other half was just hoping they didn't need to actually go through the Fade to get back. Her hand began to shake, and the feeling all along her hand was agony. Fire inside her nerves and veins, making it hard to focus. A blast connecting with the frozen air as the tear formed, large and swirling. Blinking a few times to force away the few beaded tears forming.

  
"Glad that worked out... it's time to go..." she grunted, stepping through.

  
Cullen followed behind her. It was his job to see her returned safely, he told himself. The portal closed after everyone had gone through, like blinking them out of existence. She stared into the distance with a heavy sigh. Thankfully, they didn't need to go through the Fade after all. The question being: where had they landed?

  
"Commander, do you know where we are?" she asked.

  
Again with the formality... Looking around, he gave a nod after a short time.

  
"Looks like we're in the Mire... not as far away as we could have been, I guess. Still a good three days or more back to Skyhold..." he grumbled.

  
Slipping her hand back into the gauntlet, she shrugged a shoulder. "Best that we get started now, then. There's still light, we'll camp when there's no longer any light left to follow..." she stated, as authoritatively as she could manage.

Truthfully, she just hated the Fallow Mire. As much as she'd like to knock off for the night, she didn't want to until they were as far away from here as they could get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nothing like a Behemoth to make you want to go somewhere safer.


	16. Chill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The start of a long trek back to Skyhold starts at Fallow Mire, winding through the Frostbacks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more day until the group reaches Skyhold. How will they be received?

Gathered around the fire, finally catching their breath for the first time since they had arrived here, weariness visible in the exhausted way everyone had slumped over. Yuuki sat up cheerfully, polishing her spear, whistling to herself.

  
"How can you not be tired?" Cid questioned.

  
"This is my thing. I've been on the go almost non-stop since the day I registered with the guild..." she laughed nervously.

  
"Well,  _my_  thing is technology, the kind I have yet to see here. If I have to work in these conditions, I'll need a miracle..." he grunted.

  
The minute they had camp set up, Biggs and Wedge had turned in. Urianger had even turned in, deciding to work on gathering data after a night's rest. Sure, it was no inn, but not one complaint had been raised, too tired to care where they rested their heads, she guessed.

  
"You're the expert on doodads, I'm sure you'll have no trouble whipping something together." she said with a shrug.

  
Cid laughed a bit at this. "Doodads... that's a way to put it, I guess."

  
"If you want to turn in, go ahead. I've got to stay up. Price you pay for being the only one with a particular function." she joked.

  
"I know how you feel, in a way. The three of us are usually the ones people look to when their  _doodads_  malfunction." he said, chuckling again.

  
With a slight wave, he retired to his tent. Yuuki sighed to herself, leaning back a little, spear in hand. The sound of the fire crackling was pleasant, almost soothing. She knew better than to fall asleep out here, no matter how tempting it might be. The risk of demons or rifts was not lessened just because they had set up camp. Only a short time had passed before the snoring began.

  
"You know, you've barely said anything to me since..." Cullen began, cutting his words off.

  
"Are you concerned about what I think, or is it something else on your mind?" she asked.

  
He tossed a log onto the fire, sighing heavily. "It's bothering me, if I'm being honest." he stated.

  
"That isn't really an answer. The truth is, I have no idea what this is. I'm no good with matters of the heart, I swore it off a long time ago." she told him, her eyes fixed on the dark area beyond the campsite.

  
"Is that so? I seemed to think there was something between you and the good Ser Aymeric." he replied.

  
She sat up straighter at that, briefly turning her attention to him, a look of irritation settling over her. "You really think I would go after the Lord Commander? ...I suppose Archbishop, by now..." she mumbled as she thought a bit longer than she should have about his title.

  
"No... I'm sorry... I didn't mean that." he sighed, brushing his hand through his hair slowly.

  
"I know you didn't." she said, hiding her face in her hands while she considered what to say. "I don't know what you want from this. You should know the price for loving me might be more than you're willing to pay..." she said decisively.

  
He slid closer to her, turning her attention to him. Drawing her close enough to kiss her, she felt his fingers lightly pressed against the back of her neck. He stared into her eyes as he pulled back. "I'm more than willing to pay whatever the cost." he told her.

  
Turning back, she shook her head incredulously. "Even if the cost is your life?" she asked.

  
"I swore my life to the cause, and when you became the Inquisitor, that already meant my life was sworn to serving you. If offering it now gives me your heart, I consider that a benefit." he explained.

  
"And if when this is over, I decided to go home?" she pressed.

  
"I would follow you to the ends of this world and the next." he stated.

  
She laughed a bit then. "Commander, have you ever danced with a dragon?" she asked, the question meaning if he was prepared fully for what he would face being with her.   
He grinned, holding back a laugh as he nodded. "Oh yes, once. Horizontally as I recall." he teased.

  
Yuuki looked away, and he was certain that he had made her blush. "Ahh, so even you can't resist making jokes." she mumbled quietly, almost shyly.

  
"It's useful for relieving tension." he said, leaning back slightly.

  
"Are you tense, Commander?" she asked, finally looking at him now that she had regained her composure.

  
He didn't answer right away. The fire lighting her features slightly had been distracting.

  
"Well  _now_  I am.." he sighed.

  
"A shame we're not alone." she said playfully.

  
"You're very good at being quiet." he responded, nodding back a short distance. "Or is it being caught that concerns you?" he asked teasingly.

  
"So I guess you're not worried about what you should and shouldn't be doing to me anymore?" she asked, sneaking a quick kiss.

  
Cullen stood up then, reaching for her hand. Taking it, he pulled her to her feet, leading her away from the camp. She kept looking back, as though worried that the moment they were out of view, something horrible might come along.

  
"Don't worry so much, I won't keep you away all night, and I'm sure you'll hear before something gets close enough to cause problems..." he insisted.

  
"I suppose that's true... " she admitted, though still distracted.

  
When they got back, they'd both be busy enough, and it was usually hard enough to steal more than a few minutes together. It made sense, but at the same time, shirking responsibility didn't come easily to her. Though she found herself quickly warming up to the idea, he was _very_ good at taking her mind off work.

* * *

 

 He laughed some as he carried her back, setting her back down by the fire. "So is it more that you  _can't_  walk or is it that you just wanted me to carry you?" he asked quietly.

  
She shot him a look, but despite this, her answer was rather pleasant in tone. "Don't I deserve to be carried by a handsome man in armor, or is that not a thing here?" she joked.

  
"Fair enough. So long as I'm the one doing the lifting. What can I say, I'm the jealous type." he said, leaning back once more.

  
"Naturally. I don't think anyone else has the back for it." she said with a laugh.

  
"Legs. Lifting with your back is how you injure yourself." he corrected.

  
She stretched out slowly, brushing her hands against her legs for a moment. "Good thing then. I'm used to lifting heavy things, I'd hate to throw my back out in battle." she said.

  
"How heavy can that spear be, really?" he questioned.

  
Sighing some, she shook her head. "I wasn't referring to that." she said.

  
"So I see, what else have you got then?" he asked.

  
Hunching over, she dug through her bag, tossing out weapons of all kinds. Someday, he would learn how the hell she fit so much into such a small bag. Looking at the collection, he saw bows, daggers, blades, shields, several great swords, a few more spears and a decent selection of gigantic axes. He gestured to some he couldn't identify.

  
"What are those?" he asked.

  
"Loud." she said simply.

  
He narrowed his eyes for a moment, as if the sarcastic reply wasn't satisfying enough for him. She picked one up, handing it to him to get a better look. "Those are my guns. Don't pull the trigger, I don't feel like having to explain how the military leader of the Inquisition ended up shooting himself on accident." she said.

  
Looking over it, he handed it back after a moment. "You have a lot of weapons. Are they really all needed?" he pressed.

  
"Of course. Each one is carefully selected for reasons. " she said, refusing to elaborate. Honestly, she didn't need all of them, some she kept for aesthetics.

  
Sunrise wasn't far off, and he still hadn't slept yet. Putting her things away, she glanced at him for a moment. "Are you hungry?"

  
"That depends on what you mean..." he groaned, his hand brushing just barely under her shirt for a moment.

  
"I meant... you know what I mean..." she huffed quietly.

  
"Now that you mention it, I am a little." he admitted.

  
"I'll see what I can come up with then... Gods, how can you think about it so soon?" she asked offhandedly.

  
Rummaging through her bag again, she seemed a little disappointed in the options. That was what she got for not stocking up properly before leaving.

  
"Take something you like, and you go without for decades and see how badly you want it when you finally get it." he grunted.

  
"Go without you for so long? Perish the thought." she giggled.

  
This made him blush a little, not expecting an answer like that. She handed him something, this time thinking better of asking what it was. What it was was texture, and flavor, and that was enough. He heard the sound of zippers, Biggs and Wedge lured out by the smell of food. As though she anticipated it, she had set some out for them. Cullen looked at her curiously, nodding towards them slightly.

  
"Trust me, in a bit, everyone will be up." she said.

  
Like she had told him, Urianger and Cid came out after a few moments. She shook her head at him, pointing up to the sky. He understood that to mean something like 'No, I'm not that good at guessing, it's just time.'

  
She put her things away, pulling her knees up a bit, taking a sip of her tea. Yuuki glanced towards the others for a moment. "Cid, I wonder, would you be needing crystals?" a question that had been on her mind for a bit.

  
"Crystals themselves won't manage much. I suppose it's expecting a miracle, but you don't happen to have clusters?" he countered.

  
"Shards, crystals, clusters of all kinds, and even some unaspected crystals. I spent a lot of time mining and doing botanist things..." she admitted, staring into her cup for a moment.

  
"I may be able to rig something up if you're willing to part with your clusters." he confirmed, appearing to be plotting something out in his mind.

  
"Sure, feel free to use what you need. I'll give them to you later, there's a lot of them." she said with a nervous laugh.

  
When everyone had finished breakfast and had a little time to wake up, they packed things up. Another day beyond this before they would get back, but at least they would likely only have the mountain to contend with. Assuming they could get about that far in one day.

  
"It's cold as hell here, how do you handle it?" Cid grumbled after some time.

  
"Scantily dressed, comes to mind." Cullen joked.

  
She cleared her throat then. "I have a tendency to overheat, thank you..." she muttered

  
"What kind of gun is that?" Wedge asked, taking notice of it suddenly.

  
"Coffinmaker, it's called. I feel like it makes it self-explanatory. I like that." she commented.

  
"It doesn't look like it came from the Manufactory, good quality though..." he sighed, looking at it closer as they walked.

  
"Found it in Sohm Al. Figured whoever left it wasn't planning to come back for it, so I took it." she replied.

  
Glancing back, she noticed Urianger had the aether goggles on, probably taking readings. Humming to herself to fill the silence, her steps picking up like she was fighting the urge to dance. A habit she had developed to lessen the boredom that tended to linger while travelling. An airship would have been a nice touch, but at the same time, it would just complicate matters. Air travel usually meant enemies had access too, and they tended to misuse it.

  
After several hours had passed by, they had gotten about halfway to the next campsite, and things were still quiet. Strangely so. Even though hardly anyone used this route now, she still had to wonder why they hadn't encountered anyone up to this point. It wasn't worrisome, considering, but totally opposite from what she was used to. In her mind, any place without so few souls to be found was crawling with monsters, it was just a matter of where they were hiding. Grumbling to herself, she rummaged through her back while they walked, grabbing a handful of multi-colored drops and some other variety of confection, the kind she had had when they fought the behemoth. Slipping it into her mouth, she seemed to calm down a little bit, reasserting her efforts to focus.

  
"I meant to ask, what is that?" Cullen questioned.

  
"Lollipop. Special kind I made myself, herbal mix to help calm me down." she explained.

  
They worked too, especially helpful for calming herself after a rage-fueled Dark Knight killing spree. Right now, it was to keep her from losing her mind. Everything was white, except the occasional, sloppily placed clump of trees. No landmarks, no signs of any kind. If they hadn't come this way before, she might have assumed they were lost.

  
"Is something bothering you?" he questioned.

  
She made a wide gesture, spinning a little as she did. "All of this. It's all the same, and I don't like it. Boredom may as well be my mortal enemy." she hissed grumpily.   
"Should we stop for a bit; would that help?" he pressed further.

  
"No... what would help is color, but someone apparently ran out." she groused.

  
"Funny that you spent so much time in Coerthas and Ishgard without melting down." Cid observed.

  
"That's different, there are buildings! Dragons! Things that stand out, not just white as far as you can see..." she argued.

  
"I'd avoid talking too much about dragons. It would be bad luck for one to show up." Cullen warned cautiously.

  
"Pshh. Like I'm afraid of dragons. I have one, you know. Midgardsormr is his name." She said.

  
"Ahh, that big bugger from the Agrius." Cid asked, sounding mildly impressed.

  
"You were there when I landed in front of the Lord Commander. Even has a comfy seat on his back now." she replied cheerfully.

  
"Am I to understand, you rode on a dragon... with a saddle?" Cullen questioned, trying to picture it in his mind.

  
"That's correct. I have a Griffin too. War bear, griffin, dire wolf, even a unicorn. It's not that strange, win a creature's trust and sometimes your reward is not having to walk." she sighed, stretching slightly.

  
"The shock eventually wears off. Nothing she does is really a surprise anymore." Biggs grunted with a shrug.

  
"Now I'm sad. Wasn't rising from the dead a neat enough trick?" she pouted slightly.

  
"I've seen better." he sniffed jokingly.

  
"Oh you just wait until we get back. I think I've still got a few decent surprises left in me." she challenged.

  
"Assuming Cassandra doesn't throw you back in the dungeons for desertion." Cullen teased.

  
"I'd be happy to let her try. Perhaps she can walk around for days at a time and seal rifts, I don't mind." she snorted quietly.

  
Sparing a look towards the sky, her steps slowing to a stop. Pointing to a relatively clear area.

  
"This does look relatively safe for a camping spot." Cid said, waving Biggs and Wedge along to help set up camp.

  
While waiting for them to finish, she kept her back towards them, weapon ready just in case. She was fast on the draw, but not fast enough if there was an ambush. No, she preferred to be ready to fire before there was trouble.

  
"Miss Yuuki? It's ready. You could get some rest; we can watch for a bit?" Wedge offered helpfully.

  
Smiling kindly, she shook her head a bit. "No, it's alright. I'm not tired, I'll sit up again tonight." she lied, convincingly too.

  
Cullen managed to get a fire started despite the cold air and wet snow. Again, they retired early, leaving her alone with him. She didn't say a word until she was certain everyone had fallen asleep.

  
"Are you sure you don't need any sleep?" he asked. Surprising they hadn't realized it, but when she lied, the tip of her tail twitched just a little.

  
"I once went two weeks without sleep and still did my job. I'll be fine." she assured him. "You might consider sleeping tonight though. I'd rather you not suffer for my sake."

  
He whispered something to her, giving her an almost scolding stare as he did. "I know you're the only one who can close rifts. I've seen what your friends can do, and you know what I've been through. I'm quite capable of dealing with demons and anything else out here. You can rely on us more than you do."

  
She sighed, her breath clouding in the air. Rubbing her arm nervously, she nodded. "I know you can. I'm sure they could too. I won't risk it just for a little sleep."

  
In a rare moment of authority, he pointed to the tent. "Go. Now. Or I'll drag you there myself and sit in front of it so you can't come out..."

  
She raised an eyebrow at this, resisting a laugh. "Oh, drag me to bed? If I choose not to, what will you do, spank me?" she joked.

  
Cullen blushed faintly, he hadn't anticipated her responding that way. It left him at a loss for words for a short time. "If that's what it takes, certainly." he argued.

  
She hung her head, crawling into the tent. He regretted looking back, the gentle sway of her hips was hard to watch. Looking back over her shoulder, she slid down slowly.

"Wake me in an hour." she said.

  
He shook his head. "I don't think so. I'm not waking you." he sighed, the whole point being allowing her to get the sleep she needed, not to take patrol duty with her.

  
"If you don't, I won't forgive you..." she pouted.

  
"I don't need your forgiveness, I need you to take care of yourself." he said, ignoring the look on her face, fearing he might actually give in if he paid too much attention to it.

  
"Will you at least wake me if there's trouble?" she asked quietly.

  
Turning to face her, she moved a little closer. His hands brushed through her hair, kissing her lightly. When he pulled away, he kept her there a little longer, making sure she didn't look away. "I swear I'll wake you if there's trouble I can't handle. Until that time, please get some rest, for my sake if not for your own..." he said.

  
"If I have to..." she grumbled, retreating further in, turning onto her stomach and burying her face in the pillow as he zipped the tent up.

  
Stretching a bit, he slid a bit closer to the fire to keep warm. She worried too much, it was far too cold and precarious, with nothing to hunt for wild animals. There had been no sign of rift activity in the area that he could see, the odds of anything happening out here were minimal. Regardless of the actual threat level, he would keep his word and remain vigilant. Though he had to admit, the lack of color and landscape variation was a little disconcerting after all. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If this chapter seems weird, I was listening to a comedy special while I was working. It probably shows. Or it was terrible, I can't readily tell.


	17. A Return to Normalcy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group finally reaches Skyhold, and the rest of the day off before returning to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I rewrote this chapter about four times before I decided it was probably okay.

They hit the road early the next morning, largely at Yuuki's insistence. Though she hadn't elaborated as to why she wanted to get moving so soon. It was hard to keep up with the pace she had set, her hand constantly pressed to her brow, clearly agitated.

  
"Hurry, keep moving..." she urged.

  
It was almost as though she were trying to keep her distance from them. Catching up to her, though it was a challenge, he spoke to her, quietly so as not to be heard by the others, in case it was something she wasn't prepared to share.

  
"It was that dream again, wasn't it?" he questioned.

  
"So what if it was?" she snorted, widening her steps then.

  
"That's not a good enough reason to pull away like this... cutting ties to those still here will hurt more eventually..." he said.

  
"You think I'm running away, don't you?" she asked, her voice unexpectedly sharp.

  
"Isn't that what it is?" he pressed, working to keep up with her.

  
"Why do you care?" she hissed.

  
At this, he gripped her wrist, stopping her from going further. She turned to face him, her eyes narrowed dangerously as though silently threatening him. The group stopped, observing the scene quietly, wondering what exactly was going on in front of them.

  
"That's right, it's your job to care, I forgot. It was stupid of me to ask." she grumbled bitterly.

  
He sighed. This was definitely not how it went in his head, ideally it would have been alone, somewhere quiet and nicer than this. It couldn't be helped, at this point, hearing it might be the only thing to bring her back from the past she was stuck in all the time. It was a concern to him if she withdrew any further, spiraling down further until she would crash, breaking from the pain. That wasn't what she deserved, and he was sure those she lost hadn't wanted that for her either. Pulling her closer, he gently directed her to look at him, too easy to ignore if she didn't.

  
"I care because...I…" he stopped, taking a deep breath as though it were difficult to bring into words. "Because I love you."

  
Tugging her hand free from his grip while he was distracted, she turned around, taking a few steps before she finally answered.

  
"I love you too, you big jerk..." she sighed.

  
He could tell it wasn't meant as it sounded, rather a response to how he had persisted like that. In a way, he wondered if he was partially responsible. Had he not been so insistent that she sleep, it wouldn't have come up like that, perhaps. Biggs pointed to her then, glancing back at Wedge as he spoke.

  
"Well, I was wrong.  _That_  was surprising." he said, his eyebrows raised.

  
" _I_  thought she liked Aymeric..." Wedge said quietly.

  
"Strange, I would have guessed Alphinaud..." Cid mused quietly.

  
Cullen gestured back to the Lalafell, groaning slightly. "See? I wasn't the only one who thought you liked him!"

  
Yuuki shrugged a shoulder. "You said you thought there was something between us. Aside from an entire  _world_ , there isn't. I'm not dead, I still have eyes. Tell me the man isn't gorgeous. I  _dare_  you." she challenged.

  
"He is." Wedge agreed with a nod.

  
"It's the eyes, I think." Biggs said.

  
"No, it's the hair. I think every man in Ishgard has tried it and failed. It only works on him, I'm sure of it." Cid suggested.

  
"Alright, fine, objectively speaking, he's got nice hair..." Cullen grunted.

  
"Before anyone else decides to speculate on my personal business, no, I don't have a thing for Elezen men. I just happen to end up working with them a lot..." she huffed indignantly.

  
"So is it that he's a tank, or is it that he's human?" Biggs questioned curiously.

  
She tensed up slightly, stopping once again. " _I'm a tank too, thank you very much_... " she snarled. "If you dig here anymore, I will end you..."

  
Biggs raised his hands, pointing down the mountain, thinking a better topic was needed. "So... what's that?" he questioned.

  
Still a good long journey, but this high up, it was at least visible in the distance. Promising enough for now. "That... is Skyhold." she said simply.

  
"It’s... huge." Wedge said.

  
"Yes, I still get lost..." she laughed nervously.

  
"We couldn't have been gone very long, everything looks like it's still in one piece. That’s promising." Cullen sighed.

  
"It was only a few days there, for all we know, it may well have only been a few hours here. Well... and three days walking too..." she said, thinking about it.

* * *

 

  
Walking through the gates, a very angry Cassandra strode towards them, hands on her hips. Yuuki froze for a moment, unsure what to think about the situation.

  
"Inquisitor, glad you decided to come back. I hope you had a  _nice_  vacation." she reprimanded.

  
"It wasn't a vacation. Well, I suppose fighting a goddess would be a nice Starlight Celebration gift..." she said cheerfully.

  
"Commander, you of all people, running off too... wait, fighting a goddess?" she stopped mid-scolding, turning back to her.

  
"Cassandra, I'd like you to meet some of my friends, Cid, Biggs, Wedge and Urianger." she introduced, realizing she hadn't even noticed them in her anger.

  
"They're not from around here." Cullen offered, hinting that they had come back from her world.

  
"I... what?" she huffed.

  
"They came back with us from Eorzea... If you could make sure that everyone knows they're supposed to be here, they have work to do, and it won't get done if people hold them up." she instructed, not offering much more explanation.

  
"Fine... it will be done... Josephine wanted to arrange your lessons, but it sounds like there's work to be done. I'll see to their living arrangements. If your journey has indeed been as arduous as it sounds, perhaps you should relax while you can..." she said, her tone reminiscent of an angry cat.

  
"Follow her, she knows where things are..." she told her friends, pointing to the tavern. "I actually get a break, and I have a bet to collect on."

  
She dashed off before she could be bothered again, Cid glancing at Cullen for a moment. "Well. She hasn't changed much after all." he observed.

  
"I wasn't even aware she had a bet at all." he thought out loud.

  
"Nothing new there, it you knew how much time she spent at the Golden Saucer. That girl is a wonder at Chocobo racing. Safest bet you can make when she’s racing is to bet on her to win." he laughed, leaving after a moment to chase after the woman as indicated.

  
Walking up the stairs, he decided to check on a few matters before he figured he could take the rest of the day off as well. Assuming there wasn't much to do, anyway.

* * *

 

 A few hours later, he walked back through, noticing a small crowd had gathered outside of the tavern. Over the crowd, the only thing visible was Iron Bull's horns. He pushed through, palming his face immediately when he saw what was going. Yuuki was standing there, fists raised, clearly inebriated. Waiting for a moment to see what the issue was between the two.

  
"I don't back down from a challenge, nothing personal, Boss." he said, raising his hands up too.

  
"I wouldn't have made the challenge if I didn't think I could back it up, so come on!" she quipped, waving him to come at her.

  
Cullen pushed through completely, picking her up before the fight began, shaking his head. "Nope. Absolutely not. " he scolded, carrying her out and setting her back down. 

  
"What's the problem, I can take him Commander..." she pouted.

  
"I don't doubt that you could, but I won't be able to live it down if you get injured in a brawl." he sighed.

  
"Aww, c’mon... what else am I supposed to do to keep busy?" she asked, kicking at the dirt guiltily.

  
"I don't know, take a nap, read a book. Whatever it is you usually do when you have a break." he suggested.

  
"I don't usually have a break. Last I checked, there's no racing here, and no games." she observed, shrugging as though she were completely lost.

  
"Do I have to watch you all day to keep you out of trouble?" he asked.

  
"You don't  _have_  to. " she countered.

  
"You know as well as I do, the minute I turn my back, you're going right back in there, aren't you?" he pressed.

  
"Ahh, that's true." She admitted.

  
Shaking his head at this, he grasped her hand, tugging her to follow him. She grumbled to herself, but didn't complain outright. Cullen led her to her room, closing the door behind them, taking a seat at the top of the stairs.

  
"I'm staying right here until I'm sure you're not going to go back out there." he sighed, leaning back slightly.

  
"So you mean to say I'm a prisoner still, just with better accommodations?" she asked, half joking.

  
"No, you're not a prisoner, if you really want me to go, I will." he said. He wouldn't like it, but he would if she asked.

  
"What do I say if I would rather you stay, but maybe not over there?" she questioned.

  
Laughing a little at the way she said it, he pushed himself to stand. "Well then, where do you want me?" he asked curiously.

  
Yuuki smiled sheepishly, her face flushed slightly. "Over here, with me..." she murmured.

  
Moving to stand next to her, she slid her arms around him, laying her head on his chest quietly. He brushed his hand against her hair slowly, watching her for a bit before he said anything.

  
"Couldn't bring yourself to say you wanted a hug?" he asked teasingly.

  
She looked up for a moment, shaking her head. "I'm not great at communication, I guess." she mumbled.

  
"I'm sure you'll get better at it. Either that or I'll have to learn how to read your mind." he said quietly.

  
"That sounds good. Actually, no... probably not, now that I think about it..." she said nervously.

  
He laughed again at this, kissing the top of her head. "Oh, something on your mind you don't want me knowing?" he asked lightly.

  
"Maybe yes, maybe no. I'm not telling." she purred.

  
"I'll get it out of you yet, give me time." he told her, massaging the back of her neck idly.

  
"Well, right now I'm thinking of how to pay you back for stopping me." she grunted.

  
"I'm to be punished then?" he asked, smiling despite this.

  
"Oh yes. When you least expect it. It won't hurt, much." she teased.

  
"Painless punishment, that's a new one on me..." he countered.

  
"Think of it more like training, I guess. Pain and pleasure in equal measure. Something like that anyway." she shrugged, in a small attempt to misdirect him a little.

  
At this, he cleared his throat, pointing to the door. "I think I should go before I think about that too much." he mumbled nervously.

  
Yuuki nodded some, taking a seat on the edge of the bed as he walked away. "Sleep well, Cullen..." she called.

  
He wasn't quite sure, but he was reasonably confident she was just torturing him at this point. Slamming the door as he shuffled out. She stretched out, leaning over the edge of the bed to rifle through her bag. Pulling out a book she had started awhile back. An interesting volume on the finer points of armor crafting, one that outlined new methods for different types of ore. Despite her break, she still found herself falling asleep a few minutes in to the first few pages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter might be less Inquisitor focused, not sure yet.


	18. Wisdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki finds the lesson boring and sneaks out, meanwhile, work continues on establishing communication with Eorzea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter, sorry about that.

Yuuki woke predictably later than everyone else, not exactly eager to start on her lessons. Trudging through the halls in a manner resembling someone walking to their execution, she pressed her face to the door, leaning into it to push it open. Josephine looked up, pointing to a nearby chair, and Yuuki took it, slumped over lazily.

"No slouching, sit up straight and pay attention!" Josephine ordered sternly.

This was a new side of her, and being honest, it was fascinating. Sitting up as directed, she folded her arms on her lap.

"I'm sorry..." she murmured quietly.

"Very good, we can begin now. We'll be focusing on Orlesian nobility for now, since that will be most relevant to you. I will also explain the finer points of the political environment to you." She stated.

Nobility could be an interesting enough subject, she had plenty of experience dealing with important people before, but politics was a subject she tried to avoid. After the incidents in Ul'dah, it was the very last thing she wanted to deal with. Deadly though these Orlesians might be, she very much doubted any of them had aspirations equal to taking control of a large plot of land for an ancient creature to presumably try and kill her and rule the nations. These people just wanted to kill the Empress, which was not a surprise after the attempted assassination of the Sultana.

* * *

 

Out in the yard, Cid and Wedge were looking for something specific. Having access to the clusters meant they could potentially set up a rudimentary form of communication if all went well. Urianger had been taking readings and surmised that it was here where the worlds should have converged, but were knocked out of alignment. This was just a theory of course, and would need more solid evidence to prove, an act that would take time. It escaped no one's notice that the strange group that had accompanied the Inquisitor were different, thankfully the people were kind enough to stare from a distance so they could work unimpeded by distractions.

* * *

 

She had underestimated how boring the subject could be. Not daring to give less than her full attention, however, having discovered just how strict and intimidating Josephine could truly be. It was no wonder people could be swayed by her. Strangely enough, she wondered if the woman had a whip stashed somewhere. Certainly seemed the type who might, the gentle demeanor was fine, but this side of her seemed to get things done. She slammed her hand on the desk sharply, noticing that her mind had been wandering again. Josephine would have certainly fit in well among her people with that kind of attitude.

"Mistress Homura, I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to drift off. It will certainly be a comfort to everyone having someone so well versed in this subject to champion the evening." She scolded sharply.

It was hard not to pay attention with her being so strict. Yuuki was truthfully a little concerned about what might happen if she hadn't. Leliana was usually the one people were nervous about, but more and more it was looking like this woman was the one to watch out for.

"Can I at least take a break?" she questioned gently.

"Absolutely not. I very much doubt your enemies are taking breaks." She said, shooting her down without a second thought.

Her eyes lingered on the fine, solid wood of the desk top, flirting with the idea of pounding her head against it a few times. It had been a very long time since she was forced to sit and pay attention this way, in fact so long, she could no longer recall it in her mind. What she wanted to know was why she truly needed to know all about some Duke's fifth cousin twice removed through marriage, when her job was supposedly to stop the Empress from being assassinated. Why not just give her a brief report about anyone who actually mattered in the situation? This was tedious, and doubt that she could remember all of this and keep it straight in her mind was high. She couldn’t even name more than twenty of her own family members, truthfully.

  
There was only one thing to do to get out of this. Keeping her hand low and out of sight, a glowing orb held in her palm, she lifted it when she was confident it was time. With a gesture, Josephine's head hit the desk, the quiet sound of snoring filling the room. Never had she been more thankful she had learned how to put people to sleep than she was right now. It was a spell she rarely found herself having a use for, ever, previously. Rising from her seat, she quickly made her escape, bursting out of the door and into the hall. Skidding to a halt to avoid running into Solas as she did.

"Interesting to see you in such a hurry." He observed, glancing to the door.

"No reason to look in there, I'm just... uhh... taking a quick break!" she exclaimed hurriedly, the tip of her tail twitching slightly.

"Lying doesn't suit you." he stated, opening the door and peering in. "So that's it. Trying to escape your lesson."

"What are you going to do about it, tell on me?" she grumbled, almost aggressively.

"I had no such plans. As long as your free for the moment, perhaps there's something more constructive you could be doing." he said.

"I'm trying, but I'm also really pent up right now, so it's incredibly constructive in my mind, at least, that I'm not destroying anything." she answered pleasantly, looking rather cheerful for someone in such a position.

"You could just as well take advantage of the training dummies in the yard." he pointed out.

"Cassandra would be furious. I could destroy all of them at once with a simple spell. No. I need something more durable." she disagreed.

"I see the dilemma. It may be best instead if you found a way to calm down." Solas said.

"Yes, thank you for that one, Captain Obvious. I hadn't considered that." she said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

Without permission, he reached into the side pocket of her bag, taking out a piece of candy, stuffing it into her mouth. It hadn't taken much observation to realize it was her tried and true method of calming down, not usually seen without one at least once per mission. Yuuki was clearly irritated at the invasion, but after a few moments, she seemed less concerned by it, turning around and walking away without a word. He had to wonder if it was actually the herbs in it or the sugar that was more helpful, the girl certainly had a taste for sweet things.

“You don’t eat as often as you should. It makes even the best people irritable. The sugar should help some.” He sighed.

  
"See you later, Solas." she said as she walked off, not looking back, but offering a wave regardless, making no excuse for her sudden exit.

Shaking his head, he stared at the door a little longer. The least he could do would be to come up with a convincing reason the Ambassador might have fallen asleep without magical assistance. It was little enough trouble to dig the girl out of. Making her way out to the yard, she ran into Cid, who seemed to be looking for something.

"Did you misplace something again?" she asked curiously.

"I wish it were just that. There's no electrum here, I'm told." he grunted, scratching his head in frustration.

"Is that all? I can get some... give me a bit..." she said.

Digging through her bag, she pulled out some assorted bits of jewelry, putting her goggles on and taking out some tools. Within moments, she had taken every piece apart, staring at the pile. It was a mess of bits, taking a few seconds to organize them. Glancing up, she pointed to the small stack of metal.

"Is this enough, or do you need more? I don't have other electrum jewelry or accessories, but I could take apart my spare frying pan if that helps..." she said, her tone indicating she didn't like the idea of parting with it.

He picked up the scraps, looking them over for a moment. "This might be enough, I'll let you know." he said.

Taking off her goggles, she tossed them and her tools back into her bag, nodding some. "Alright. Let me know if you need other things, I have other metals in ore and ingot form to." she said, pushing things aside to see what was there and what she might have left behind.

"Sounds good. I'm trying to rig up something to help with the linkshell problem. I figure the clusters you lent me can amplify the aether signals here, enough to override the static. I could get technical here, but it's better for everyone if I keep it simple." he explained.

"That's what you call simple?" she asked with a laugh.

"Simple enough, anyway." he told her, wiping his brow. "Aren't you supposed to be studying?"

She tried her best to not seem guilty, nodding some. "I was studying. My... Josephine fell asleep. Stressed out, probably." she said.

  
He rested a hand on his hip, staring at her seriously for a moment, tapping his foot then. "You put her to sleep, didn't you?"

"I...  _might_  have done just that..." she confessed, poking her fingertips together, turning her attention to the snow.

"Yuuki... isn't it supposed to be important? I know it's probably not your thing, but you should try to learn anyway..." he scolded, but gentler than Josephine had.

"I know you're right, but I'm more about action, I want to just get it done and over with. There's so much that needs to be accomplished, and I can't devote days to studying this when I could be out there doing something productive. They have people in the Hinterlands that lost everything, it's like a trip to Ul'dah's slums, or the refugee camps. If I can't be out throat punching some jerk, then my time would still be better spent making sure they're doing alright..." she complained.

Cid had forgotten she had a soft spot for people in need, and he had to concede that compared to what she could be doing, learning about people who perceived themselves as important was not quite as urgent.

"Still... this isn't Eorzea, it seems not everything can be solved by throat punching things. It couldn't hurt to learn what you can and maybe you can come to a non-violent solution to show them you can be diplomatic too?" he asked, trying to encourage her.

"I like peaceful resolutions where possible." she sighed.

"Whatever you do, don't bring your Dark Knight to this palace. I'm certain that much is frowned on everywhere. No one who thinks themselves important wants blood and effluvia on their fancy rugs. If you have to get physical, bring your Monk. They have that whole Zen thing going on, so there's no chance you'll lose yourself. " he advised, making a few adjustments on the electrum piece he had set up.

"That's true. It would look really bad if I couldn't stop myself..." she said, looking back at the building.

She supposed that it might be time to go back and just suffer through the lessons for the sake of the world. It could lead to problems if she couldn't. Walking back into the building, she saw Solas leave the office. It seemed he had covered for her, and to further avoid an incident, she quickly produced a cup of tea, going back into the office and taking her seat.

“Ahh, I'm so sorry, Josephine. I saw you fell asleep and I took the opportunity to get a drink. I hope that's alright." She said.

"That's fine. I didn't mean to do that. Where were we?" she mumbled.

"You were telling me about Empress Celene's cousin, I believe." she said. Truthfully, she didn't actually remember what they were talking about. She just had to hope the Empress actually had a cousin to talk about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter is probably going to be skippable smut.


	19. Daydreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calling the Inquisitor to his office becomes a test of will.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is also smut. It can be skipped, if desired.

She stumbled through the halls in a daze. Her mind itself felt numb, and there was not even a single coherent thought forming. So hard was it to focus, she couldn't quite recall how she finally got into the yard, or who had passed her on the way. This was not a good thing, for someone who relied on sharp senses to prevent her untimely end so many times. Thankfully, she was relatively certain no one here was out to kill her, so a brief distraction was fine once in a while.

  
"Excuse me, Your Worship? I've been asked to send for you, the Commander wanted to see you." A voice told her.

  
She looked back, the figure too blurry to identify with her mind wandering so. Giving a nod, she turned once more.

  
"Thank you, I'll go right away..." she mumbled.

  
Twisting at the ring on her curled horn, she sighed as she wandered back in. After a short time, it occurred to her that she passed the door that led to his office twice now. Shaking her head in an attempt to clear away the fog, she turned a third time, pushing through the door and out the other at the opposite side. There it was, just a little further down a stretch of the wall, and yet it too blurred in her eyes. Trudging along, with cold nipping at her skin, she pressed her brow to the door for a moment before stepping in. Looking away from his work, he noticed her standing there, speaking briefly, though she didn't even hear what he had said.

  
She felt a hand on her shoulder, snapping her briefly out of her haze, enough to draw her gaze to his.

  
"Are you alright, you look really... really lost right now?" he asked curiously.

  
Shaking her head once more, she pressed her fingertips to her temples for a moment. "Yes, I'm fine. I just... can't focus on anything today, I think."

  
His fingers slid easily through her hair, directing her to keep her attention on him. "I was asking if you believe we could safely divert some of the troops to more patrols. The reports of strange activity not far have been increasing, but it is ultimately your call." he repeated.

  
Yuuki nodded slightly, devoting as much attention as she could muster. "That sounds fine, if you think it's worth looking into, and if it helps ensure the safety of those gathered here..." she said.

  
He smiled a little, she was trying her best, and while he had the permission he needed, he wasn't quite ready to give up her attention just yet. Pushing her back into the wall slightly, he dipped his head down, seeking out her lips. On instinct, she brought her hands to rest at the back of his neck, opening slightly for him, feeling his tongue press through, warm and soothing. Drawing him as close as she could, she slid her hands down to his side, creeping under the edges of his clothes. The sensation of heat crawling up his spine. The conflict between the bitter cold air and the warmth always present with her was agony, delicious but hard to ignore. She shivered as he traced a finger down her throat, slowing to a gentle drag along her collarbone before plunging under the thin fabric of the sleeveless top she wore. Nipping at her lower lip as he pulled away from her, a smirk emerging, he briefly pressed his mouth to her throat, allowing himself to taste her before he spoke.

  
"So, do I have your attention now?" he teased, hearing her gasp.

  
Her hands moved away from him, resting on the edges of her garment, hesitant as she glanced away. Tugging the edges open, the curves of her waist, her breasts and the tiniest peek at her hips revealed as she did.

  
"I believe you do... the real question is what you will do now that you have it..." she countered, trapping her lip between her teeth.

  
"You don't know?" he asked, his hands reaching to caress her sides.

  
"I can guess, but maybe I want you to tell me..." she said, quiet and warm

  
He pushed her back against the wall once more, pulling her shirt away, rough hands pressed to the sensitive flesh of her breasts, thumbs stroking her nipples. Sliding a hand away, down the side of her body, he gripped her leg, lifting it around his side. He pressed against her, groaning in frustration, the remaining clothes between them only serving to prevent him from having her. She put a finger to her lips, smiling slyly as she did.

  
"Someone's coming. I hear them." she warned.

  
He had forgotten that her hearing was much more sensitive than his own. Concerned, he lifted her easily, hiding her under his desk and taking a seat. The door opened and Josephine came in, accompanied by Leliana. Wonderful, unable to look down without drawing attention, and not able to stand up like this, a feeling of panic rising in his chest.

  
"Can I help you?" he asked, as composed as he could manage.

  
"We were looking for the inquisitor, there is a matter of relative importance, and we were informed that she was last seen heading this way." Leliana stated.

  
This woman was too observant for her own good sometimes. He frowned a little as he felt something tugging at the front of his pants, the sensation of her warm breath on the sensitive area. Her gentle hand reached in, slow and delicate at first in her movements. A slight shiver overtook him when her lips pressed against him, tongue darting out tracing the length back and forth before taking it in her warm, wet mouth. He struggled not to grip the edge of the desk, trying to maintain his composure without attracting too much attention. Sneaking a hand down, he twisted his fingers through her hair, torn between trying to get her to stop and urging her to continue. Recalling her threat to punish him, he wondered if this was it. If it was, he was certainly in more trouble than he had even considered.

  
Almost without thought, he found his hips rocking against her, guiding her then. The heat emanating from her was pleasant, but also dangerous.

  
"Are you well, Commander? You look flushed..." Josephine asked, leaning over to check.

  
Cullen pulled away from her slightly. "I'm fine, and I ha... haven't seen her in a little while. I'll let you know right away if she comes back this way." he said.

  
"That's not needed, just send her our way." Leliana told him, gesturing to the Ambassador.

  
Without another word, they left, footsteps fading as they walked away. Looking down finally, the sight of her fascinating, he had wanted to scold her, but the words wouldn't form. Now that they were alone, he contemplated bringing her back up, wanted to throw her down on the desk and have his way with her until she begged him to let her rest. Hard enough to imagine how she could have so easily caused such a strong desire to awaken inside him. Gasping then, he gripped the edge of the desk, tensing slightly as her tongue twisted around and back down, eyes opening to stare up at him. It was too much, reaching to guide her up, she shook her head slightly, not pulling away from him. She pointed back as best as she could manage, indicating once again that someone was coming back.

  
He sighed, moving closer once more, burying his face in his hands briefly. Just once, it would be nice if people could leave him alone. The door opened, and a healer walked in, bowing politely.

  
"Lady Montilyet sent for me, said you looked like you might have a fever." the man said.

  
The concern was fine, but this was a different kind of fever, one he didn't want anyone to unravel, and of course, she was more than capable of offering him the kind of relief he needed most.

  
"I'm fine, really. There's no need." he assured him, his voice a little strained.

  
"With all due respect, it's my job, I can't risk illness spreading." He said.

  
He wanted to argue this, but how could he without revealing the truth of the matter. He gritted his teeth, glaring at the man, jumping very slightly, her nails trailing teasingly against his thigh. Once again came the realization of how she could get away with wearing so little most times. He felt almost uncomfortably overheated, as though the cold air seeping into the room couldn't even reach him. The man leaned over, pressing his palm to his forehead for a moment.

  
"See, you do have a fever, the lady was right to be concerned." he stated.

  
He reached into his bag, grabbing a few things, setting them on the desk in front of him. The man explained the directions he should follow, but he couldn't be less able to focus on what exactly he was saying.

  
"Fine, I understand..." he growled, trying to get him to leave quickly.

  
Cullen wouldn't be able to hold back much longer, the tension building in his whole body. His hands scraping lightly at the desk top.

  
"Very good, Commander. I'll check in with you later. " he said, bowing once more as he took his leave.

  
When the door closed, and the sounds once again faded, he took a deep breath. Chest heaving unsteadily, a violent shudder wracking him, eyes sliding shut. Reaching down with both hands, he buried them in her hair once more, guiding her manually, too close to concentrate on anything beyond the near-melting sensation overtaking him. Unable to keep it in any longer, groaning loudly as he came, guiltily looking down at her after a moment. Letting her go, she pulled away from him slowly, smiling a little though she said nothing. The tension faded and relief spread through him, leaning back in the chair. Tipping his head back to rest, he finally spoke.

  
"You were wrong about it being painless." He said with a slight laugh.

  
He felt a hand on his shoulder, shaking him gently. "Wake up..." she whispered.

  
Opening his eyes, he saw her standing there, smiling as she watched him. She gestured down after a moment.

  
"You called me here, and you fell asleep on me. Must've been a good dream..." she teased.

  
Cullen checked under the desk, as if not readily believing he could have dreamt that. Such clarity and vivid focus were attributed to mages, and his dreams were never  _that_  good. Yet the evidence was there, embarrassingly so.

  
"I... suppose it was." he muttered, unable to find a decent excuse.

  
Laughing slightly, she leaned a bit closer to him, eyes focused on his. "What did you want to see me about?" she questioned.

  
Without hesitating, he pulled her down on his lap, lips going for her neck, biting firmly before he responded.

  
"There was a reason, but it can wait... You. Upstairs.  _Now_..." he said, though it sounded less like a direct command and more like a request.

  
Pulling away then, she stopped in front of the ladder, grinning slightly. "As you say, Cullen..."


	20. Reveal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisitor shares her origins for the first time ever, among other things.

He stared at her in silence, partly to admire her a little longer, the other part wondering. Despite everything, she was still a mystery. The way she looked was like she was lost in another time, another place. It wasn't the kind of look she usually had, the one that said she missed the lands she had called home. Sometimes it was better not to press the issue, but he wanted to know about her.

  
"Where are you really from? I'd heard you weren't originally from Gridania..." he asked, reclining in the bed as he spoke.

  
She jumped slightly, as if the question were like the marks covering her skin. The comparison causing him to rub his shoulder in thought, recalling how caught off guard he had been by just how sharp her teeth were. Yuuki pressed her hand to her face, exhaling softly as she considered her words carefully.

  
"You're right. I'm from the Far East, Othard to be more specific." she answered quietly.

  
Her words were short, in a way that almost begged to let it be there, but he couldn't leave it like that.

  
"Tell me about it?" he persisted.

  
She laid back down, dragging the blanket up to her shoulders. The look much like trying to drift off in a sea of memories, or perhaps drown as the case might have been.   
"We lived in the valleys of the mountains, high peaks that seemed so imposing when I was a little girl. As though they scraped the skies themselves. I loved it, no place was better in my mind. Then the invasion happened, and I lost everything, everyone. I happened to be out one day, so I was spared the same fate as my family." She replied, unusually calm for such a sad statement.

  
"That's a lot to take in, I'm not sure where to go with that..." he sighed, reaching out to her.

  
"I'll save you the trouble. The least I can do is tell the tale I've never told anyone..." she started, moving to lay her head on his chest, losing herself in the security of his embrace. “I had family once. My mother, Saya, my father Hideo, my little sister, Koharu, and my two big brothers, Kaien and Yuji. We were of the Bayaqud family; my mother was an exception. Most women took several husbands, but my mother only had eyes for my father. Kaien used to teach me to fight in secret, and Yuji taught me from a young age how to blend in. Those lessons came in handy after the invasion. I was taken in by the Garleans, my enemy after they killed everyone I knew. I knew if I meant to survive I had to feign obedience until I could escape. At the age of ten, the Calamity happened, however. My plans to escape were delayed. It wasn't until five years later that I managed to arrange escape on a ship bound for Limsa Lominsa. From there, I wandered until I collapsed in Gridania. Mother Miounne took me in and cared for me until I was healthy enough. I repaid her by becoming an adventurer, and swearing my allegiance to my new home. I craved my vengeance, and yet they weren't done with me. It was some short time after that they kidnapped some of the Scions and slaughtered the rest of them..."

  
She had family, and it had all been taken from her so young. Siblings, much like those he had, and she lost them. She never meant to leave them for this life, but circumstances had forced her hand. His hand reached up, slowly twisting his fingers through her hair. Truly remarkable that anyone could live through that and maintain even a shred of innocence, yet she had kindness in abundance, never turning from anyone who needed help.

  
"Why haven't you told anyone before?" he questioned.

  
"I... perhaps wasn't honest about that either. I meant to tell someone, I meant to share it with him, I thought... it was the least I could do. He just died before I could. Part of me felt like it was my fault for letting myself get too close. I didn't want anyone else to suffer for my sake..." she admitted.

  
"Haurchefant... you talk as though it was more than friendship at times..." he sighed.

  
"Given time, it might have been. He expressed interest in me before... and I confess I had some feelings I couldn't explain for him as well, but he swore he wouldn't allow anything to come of it until he could prove himself a man worthy of me. He did, though it cost him his life... " she told him, closing her eyes.

  
"Then you decided that love was out for you... yet you were the one who approached me... what should I make of that?" he wondered out loud, more to himself.

  
"Make of it what you will. I stand by what I said. I couldn't stop thinking about you, I still feel uncomfortable with the idea that you could come to harm for my weakness, but… perhaps that too was meant to be..." she mumbled, tracing circles on his chest in thought.

  
"I'm glad you said something. I felt it too, but I believed it wasn't my place. You don't realize the magnitude of what you represent to the people... if you grasped it properly, you might understand why it seemed wrong to want you..." he confessed, leaning in to kiss her softly.

  
Her expression turned almost stubborn, her eyes fixed on his. "I've told you about my past, the one and only person to know it. Don't you dare die on me now, or so help me, I'll have words with your corpse..." she threatened, though it masked concern she either couldn't or was simply unwilling to express.

  
He laughed at this, running his fingertips over the red marks on her neck and shoulder thoughtfully. "I wouldn't dream of it, my lady." he said.

  
She tensed up suddenly, her attention turning away from him for a moment, snuggling further under the blanket until only her eyes and up were showing. A figure ascended the ladder, gasping in surprise.

  
"Oh for the love of... I suppose I should be thankful I found both of you..." Cassandra grumbled, turning her back to them as she spoke. "I was tasked with finding the two of you, I'm sure you must have noticed it's beyond morning already. You perhaps failed to notice that this place can't run properly by itself." she grumbled sternly.

  
Sliding out from the covers carefully, she took advantage of her turned back to dress quickly. It was strange though, not one to feel ill despite occasional aether sickness from the Echo, she never quite felt so under the weather. It couldn't be helped though, she did have a job to get to, and no time to concern herself with how she felt. Cassandra descended the ladder once more, to avoid seeing something she had no desire to see. Cullen got up slowly, sliding his arms around her waist, pulling her against him for a moment, to speak as privately as possible.

  
"I meant what I said. I would never have told you if I didn't feel it. I love you..." he told her, moving away to dress then.

  
Yuuki appeared lost in thought as she considered his words, idly brushing her hand against the tip of her tail. "I never doubted the veracity of your words. I only hope you realize as well how hard it was for me to tell you too." she sighed, turning to face him. "I love you too, perhaps more than I could have imagined possible. It’s... frightening." she said, going down to wait with Cassandra.

  
Clearing her throat, she looked at her for a moment, bowing deeply in apology. "Forgive me, I didn't mean to shirk my responsibilities. "

  
Cassandra turned to face her. "I would like nothing better than to suggest that it is more important. Though I do understand you're under a great deal of stress. I will not have it said that I would stand in the way of... whatever is between you and he." she said.

  
Unexpectedly understanding, and less strict of a reply than she had expected, to be sure. It was clear by the reaction that she had also had someone she cared for that she lost. The look on her face felt familiar to her by now. Hesitating, she put a hand on the woman's shoulder, turning her attention to the floor. "With time, it will hurt less." she said.

  
Cullen joined them, and Cassandra brushed her hand off, distancing herself as though she didn't want to be seen in a weak moment. Her stern demeanor returning, she stopped at the door. "I have matters to attend to, I trust I need not have to find you again." she stated, closing the door with no small amount of force.

  
"That offer you made in Haven, is it still a possibility?" he asked.

  
"To help with training? I thought you wouldn't want my help." she replied.

  
"I enjoy your company. I don't doubt that you might have something to teach, but my reasoning is a bit more selfish." he admitted.

  
Grinning a little at this, she nodded in affirmation. "I believe I can make time to assist with such a matter." she teased, following him out of the office.   
In the yard, he stood there, arms crossed as he observed. He was curious to see what she might be able to offer, and so, just the once, he backed off. Yuuki prowled the perimeter like a coeurl stalked its prey. If she was to find weak points and flaws, the best method was to actively seek out weak points. Being trained in so many disciplines, her mind constantly turned and looped through everything she had learned. Here though, it seemed limited to either swords, daggers, bows or magic. Those were four vastly different disciplines, and if they were only prepared for the swords and magic, the rest would catch them off guard. She paused her steps next to Cullen, keeping her voice low initially.

  
"You've trained them well. If all they intend to fight are swords and spell slingers. The reaction time is far too slow, the steps too heavy to handle daggers, and most aren't confident with the shields enough to get them up in time to block arrows. You have a big problem if those weaknesses are exploited... " she warned him.

  
"I admit I wasn't sure if you could find the weaknesses or not. I was wrong. What would you suggest?" he questioned.

  
"I can't order your men into something they're not ready for. My training was a little more extreme than anything I'm willing to advise. Honestly, do you think they could fight a pack of monsters while actually blind? If not, then the only suggestion I have is to build on what they have. My mentor taught me to forge my courage, maintain composure and be able to flow with the tide of battle, adapt to change. It's clear their courage is not the issue, but they move as though they hold weapons, not as though they are weapons." she observed quietly.

  
"Again, I ask what might help?" he pressed.

  
She cleared her throat, shaking her head in thought. What she could suggest would quickly be shot down, she was sure of it.

  
"Cole. He's trained with daggers, and he likes helping. If I were to tell him not to kill anyone, he would hold back just enough not to bring them to harm." She suggested.   
Cullen wasn't fond of the boy, that much was sure. The way he got into your thoughts was too disconcerting to him. It couldn't be denied that he was possessed of some skill, however. If she was that confident that he was the key to helping, he wouldn't argue it.

  
"Go find him, bring him here. I may not like the idea, but I'm willing to trust you know what you're doing." he said.

  
"More than you know, Commander. You have legions of dedicated and well-trained men. That's a fine start, but every arm will be needed for what's still to come. I want them at their best, but I care nothing for the idea of losing even one soul to inexperience. Perhaps one day, my friends here will tell you the finer points of Operation Archon, if you find you cannot trust in my experience with this." she stated, heading the short distance to the tavern, knowing exactly where he could be found.

  
Ascending the stairs quickly, she turned at the top, face to face with the young man. Cole picked at his gloves, looking up at her in silence at first. Even without words, she knew that he already understood why she had sought him out. Waving to him slightly, he followed her, stopping at the bottom of the steps. Yuuki turned curiously, wondering what had caused him to stop.

  
"What's the matter, Cole? Is this still about what you saw?" she asked, almost guiltily.

  
"It's kind of you to worry. You should take better care of yourself. It upsets him when you don’t..." he said.

  
That was a bit of a problem. Figuring out what he meant at times, or in this case, who. The problem with being so close to so many people was knowing that it could mean any number of people. Perhaps it was best not to question it so much and go with it. "I'll do better, thank you Cole."

  
She left once more, gesturing to the training grounds with a sigh. "Can you help them? Not... not that way, I mean... are you willing to fight them... without killing them, perhaps? You're the only one I could think of that can give them the right exposure." she tried to explain to him.

  
He reached for his daggers, his steps light as they should be. This would help, she was sure of it. She moved to stand beside Cullen once more, waiting patiently for everyone to prepare themselves to face the assassin in combat.

  
"Are you sure that this will help?" he asked.

  
"I am. This place may be different, but the foundations for building upon basics is still the same. Immersion in battle is the best way to learn, and facing that which you lack skill against can only help." she confirmed.

  
Turning to face her for a moment, he leaned in slightly, voice still kept low. "Are you concerned? I recognize that look. You're worried that you can't win, aren't you?" he pressed.   
She tensed up slightly, the idea that he could read so much just from the look on her face was uncomfortable. Directing his attention to the small arena, she shook her head.

"That isn't important right now. There's time to worry about that later, for now, you should be correcting them." she stated.

  
"I can watch and talk." he replied, watching the men for anything out of the ordinary.

  
"I was taught to have unshakeable courage, the very idea that something could scare me should inherently be worrisome. I have accepted that I will very likely die, but I won't go quietly." she answered, hoping that would be the end of it.

  
"I think you give yourself too little credit. When you went off without me to fight, I worried about you. I thought for sure that was the last time I'd see you. You came back only slightly worse for the wear. You've faced down gods and goddesses, and Maker knows what else, things you shouldn't have been able to do if you weren't something special. What you face now is a dragon, which I know you can handle, and a being that desires the power of the gods. He isn't a fraction of what you've faced." he assured her, not looking away from the fight.

  
"You truly believe that, you're not even a little worried?" she asked.

  
"I would be lying if I said I'm not worried. Part of me still realizes that you could die. I can't let myself believe that, nor can I allow you to think you can lose. Truthfully though? I wish you weren't so capable. I feel like I do little enough to lessen your burdens, and you've no need to rely on me." he told her.

  
"You do enough. I'm not immune to vulnerable moments, Haven should have told you that." She paused, holding her stomach for a moment. Probably the weather getting worse, nothing to concern herself over. "Will I see you tonight?" she asked, trying once more to change the subject.

  
Cullen smiled very slightly at this, realizing what she was trying to do. "If that's what you want, certainly. Though I admit, I thought the incident from earlier might have made you want to stay away for a while." he said quietly.

  
She made a face, glancing away. "Of course not. I don't really care what people think or say. It's not my problem if they don't like it." she grumbled. "I figured it would bother you more, I'm probably the furthest thing from human, are you not bothered by that?"

  
Cullen denied it immediately. "No. Why should I let what people have to say determine who I can and cannot love? You make me happy, that's enough for me." he told her.

  
Yuuki had no reason to disbelieve him, and in fact she didn't. It was just unusual for a human to be less concerned with how they appeared to other people. "You're altogether different, Commander." she commented.

  
He sighed, turning to face her then. As if to prove his words, he leaned in, kissing her deeply. It was a short kiss, but that he was willing, in front of all these people was something of note. "Even like this, you still have trouble dropping the formalities, don't you?" he teased.

  
It was a habit. Where she was from, it was rare that anyone of meaningful rank was addressed by anything else, no matter how informal the situation. "I do, but I'll try harder... "

  
"For now, it's enough that you don't salute me on top of that." he laughed.

  
"I only know two salutes, one I'd be completely fine  _never_  using again, and the other is the Adder salute, which means little and less here." she countered.

  
A messenger approached her and she paused for a moment, turning to face the woman. She leaned in to quietly relay a message, bowing politely as she left. Yuuki frowned deeply, her face turning rather pale when she processed it. sighing a little, she quickly reached for something in her bag. This was a situation even she wasn't properly prepared for, especially after what happened. Finding a small red drop, she put it in her mouth, thinking it over.

"You okay?" he questioned, noticing her reaction.

"I'll be fine. I think..." she answered, suddenly overly concerned with a million little details she never bothered with otherwise. "I suppose considering the nature of the message, I shouldn't elaborate..." she thought out loud. She almost wished she had paid more attention to Josephine's lessons. This could be important after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time: A private audience with important company.


	21. Shade Shift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A request takes Yuuki away from Skyhold

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title for this one refers to a Ninja skill in XIV (Shade Shift), for those confused.

Yuuki stared at herself in the mirror, silently running her fingers over the scales on her face. When had she last been so concerned with her appearance this way? Still the same animal she had always been, just a bit bigger, her teeth much larger now. In this case, meaning little had actually changed, except that which was inside herself. Fingertips grazing her horns, exhaling slowly for what felt like forever. For the first time in her entire life, she felt a twinge of regret at who she was. She had never had to deal with something this important, and the panic rising in the pit of her chest was a solid indicator that she didn't feel prepared for this.

  
Forcing herself away, she hung her head as she walked out, the very image she cut like a prisoner going to meet their death. From what she had been told, it would be at least a two-day trip one way. When there, she had no idea how long this meeting would take, or what it could be concerning. Concerning was a good way to put it, worrisome was another. Taking a seat in the waiting carriage in the yard, she closed her eyes, feeling the slow pull as it departed. Not even out of the safety of the walls yet, and her composure was slipping.

  
" _Seven hells_ , even my confidence has abandoned me..." she mumbled, resting her head against the seat.

* * *

  
The sudden stop of the carriage caused her to open her eyes. A moment of uncertainty washed over her, wondering if perhaps she had slept the whole way or if she had simply drifted off into her thoughts again, and didn't recall the trip. At the very least, there was no snow to be seen, the feeling less bitter than Skyhold. The door opened and a hand reached in to help her out, she took it, stepping out slowly. An elven woman met her just outside the gates, offering a deep bow before turning on her heel.

  
"This way, miss. I've been asked to see you inside. " she stated, her voice quiet, but warm.

  
Yuuki said nothing, eyes narrowing as she kept an eye out for anything suspicious. An invitation like this, out of the blue was peculiar no matter how one viewed it. Immediately apparent just inside the halls was that there was clearly no one in charge of decorating, or if there was, they were terrible at the job, everything seemed most austere. Come to think of it, when she met him before, he was especially serious, though it was a difficult situation. Expecting to be led into some grand hall for this meeting, it caught her off guard to be taken to a small room. The woman pointed to a chair, bowing once more to her before she once more turned, this time to leave.

  
"He'll be in shortly." she stated as she left.

  
This was even more uncomfortable, it appeared to be someone's bedroom, not the place for any kind of meeting that she had been a part of before. It was only a few short moments until the door opened once more, closing the door behind him and taking a seat across from her. She had very little time to even consider what to say. Among the thoughts in her head, she had even imagined a furious response, demanding an explanation for the location, though in the end she couldn't bring herself to say anything.

  
"Forgive me, I had no intention of keeping you waiting." he began in greeting.

  
"Ahh. There's nothing to forgive, Your Majesty..." she replied.

  
He brought his hand to the back of his neck in a way that suggested he was uncomfortable with that kind of greeting. "Please, call me Alistair. I don't like the whole... Majesty thing." he sighed.

  
Yuuki frowned a little bit, nodding slightly. The pronounced sound of thumping audible in the silence that ensued. Her tail striking the back of the chair, betraying her calm demeanor in a way that practically shouted her nervousness. His eyes were fixed on her, no attempt made to hide the fact that he was trying to decide what to make of her.

  
"Alistair, right. I wonder if you might tell me why it was that I was summoned here?" she questioned, hoping to call his attention away from her.

  
It worked, his eyes came back to hers, though he still bore the look of someone sizing her up. "I apologize if I've made you uncomfortable. I didn't get a decent look at you last time, and I've never seen your kind before. I meant no offense." he said, a bit too nervously for someone who was meant to be in charge.

  
"In that case, you may as well look as much as you like now, odds are you'll never meet another of my kind here. I have a speech prepared, if you'd care to hear it?" she joked.

  
Alistair seemed to realize it could have been taken the wrong way and was quick to turn the offer down. Resting his hands on the table between them, he stretched back slowly, and the realization that this was his room hit her. Only in the safety of one's own room did they act like this, so casual despite whatever -- or whoever might be in their as well.

  
"I'll get to the point. In the past fortnight, three attempts have been made on my life. I couldn't meet you openly, as I know not who else might be listening. Blissfully, I've offered no explanation as to who you are, no one will recognize you by appearance. I had been informed that you are trustworthy as well as discreet, I believed you to have the skill needed to root out and hunt down those responsible." he explained to her.

  
She nodded at this. Well versed in such things, it would be no difficult task. The question of how to easily gain access to the entirety of the castle without drawing suspicion was another matter entirely. He cleared his throat then, and she knew there was more to be said.

  
"That isn't the whole story, is it?" she asked, rubbing her brow in thought.

  
"It's regarding your cover story. You may have noticed that there's no Queen. I'm not suggesting that will be your role. Not by a long shot, I apologize in advance, a woman of your renown deserves a grander tale, however, you will be acting as... well, as my personal courtesan. Again, I'm sorry, but it will afford you whatever access you may need, and it is a role that will not be questioned too much. Before you think poorly of me, I do not expect you to play the part, in fact your room is being set up as we speak." he told her, his tone almost guilty as if he was actually ashamed that he had to cast her in such a position.

  
Truthfully, she would happily play a woman of the night to the King, than the things she had to do before. Infiltrating one of the Castrums of her sworn enemy, garbed as they were, and once again forced into the position of some Imperial dog was worse than anything he could have asked of her. This would be a breeze next to that. What would be the worst of it, she might actually have to be charming and a little flirty? Not exactly something she was strong at, but not impossible, plus, having someone like him indebted to her was a benefit as well.

  
"Very well, Your Ma...Alistair... " she said, taking a moment to look herself over once more.

  
Realizing she had actually managed to overdress for this meeting, she held back a laugh. The whole time she worried about being appropriately attired to meet with someone like him, had she known this was to be the reason, she might have opted to come in much less to at least look the part. Her name was another problem, even if they didn't recognize her by looks, her name was a dead giveaway. Better to bring it up now, while it was still on her mind.

  
"What would you have me called?" she questioned, in an effort to get the story straight.

  
It apparently hadn't even crossed his mind, his eyes widening for a moment as he mentally scolded himself for forgetting such a basic thing.

  
"I... I'm not sure. What sounds good? I don't really have a list of names that evoke the imagery of a woman like that../ " he admitted.

 

Ul'dah had plenty of dancing girls, but they were mainly Miqo'te. Not to mention the names were rather difficult to pronounce. Anything Eastern was out of the question too, the sounds alone were suspect.

  
"Flowers, maybe? I don't know, are flowers sexy?" she thought out loud, shrugging hopelessly.

  
"Jasmine? I think that would work, if it's not too unpleasant for you, that is..." he suggested.

  
Jasmine, made for good tea, had a pleasant smell, and not without beauty. A name that had just the right kind of character. Nodding affirmatively, she agreed with him. It would be odd to hear herself called a name not her own, but if it lended itself to her task, it was fine.

  
"I like it. Jasmine then." she stated. "Was there anything else? I mean no offense in not jumping right to it, but please understand the trip was very long, and I am not certain I'll be of use to anyone tonight..." she admitted, unusually run down.

  
"That's fine, it's down the hall. If you can't find it, Greg should be down that way somewhere..." he told her.

  
Odd for someone like him to display such chivalry. She always imagined royalty to be stuck up and selfish. Yuuki had to wonder if perhaps her initial impression of him had been completely wrong. Closing the door behind her, she hung her head while she walked down the hall, peering into the open rooms. Stopping in front of a room with simple furnishings, she wondered if this was meant to be hers for the duration of her stay. Not one to complain, she would certainly miss the luxury of her own quarters, and yet, the one thought repeating in her mind was whether or not a royal concubine was inherently unworthy of better. She noticed a man a short distance away, and recognized him purely by brief description.

  
"Pardon, ser. Is this where i'm to stay?" she asked, trying her best to impersonate an Ul'dahn accent, her own rather distinct in its own way, not wanting to give any reason to doubt she was who she was supposed to be.

  
"Mhm." he grunted in reply.

  
This man was absolutely oozing personality, clearly. Yuuki entered the room, closing the door behind her, taking the few steps to the bed before free-falling face first into the mattress without a second thought.

* * *

 

  
Waking early, she found herself wondering what she should wear. Should she go with something scant that exposed more, or would it be better to dress properly, with just a suggestion of skin? This was a castle after all, and she didn't want to do something out of place for her station. Digging through her bag, she took out a long sleeved blouse with a decorative vest, keeping the first few buttons undone, enough only to give the barest peek. Pairing it with black shorts that grazed her thighs, and small heeled boots, deciding this was a decent enough option. Not openly flaunting herself was more preferable in this situation, she imagined. Ready to get started right away, she wondered if going to see Alistair might glean any information as to where he might suggest she start her search. Walking through the halls, she kept her head down still, trying to seem as unassuming as possible, listening to the conversations taking place around her. People tended to count on whispers keeping their words private, yet to her, nothing was too quiet to hear.

  
As she rounded a corner, she saw him going over some sort of documents. Approaching him, he looked up, grinning broadly, standing to greet her. It was exactly as strange as she imagined it would be, his arm outstretched as if beckoning her closer. She threw on her best smile, striding closer, allowing him to pull her close, burying his face against her neck as though he were kissing her, though he wasn't, his voice low as he spoke to her.

  
"I've been doing some digging, this morning..." he whispered quietly. "Play along, this needs to be convincing..."

  
Hesitating only for a second, she brought a hand into his hair, tipping her head to the side slightly, eyes closing. "Have you found anything of note?" she responded, her lips barely moving.

  
"I did, it seems there was a problem with the guards, some kind of disruption. I had been originally led to believe it was the work staff, but the rats may be in the yard..." he said, reaching to brush the tips of her hair lightly.

  
"I will look into it, trust me when I say no one will even notice me..." she assured him.

  
"Very good, I appreciate it. I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but you look nice, not overdone." he commented, letting her go slowly, so as to seem reluctant to divert his focus from her.

  
Mirroring his actions, she let go, her expression a little disappointed. Alistair raised his voice, making sure he spoke up just enough to be heard.

 

"I'm sorry, Jasmine. I'll free time for you later, but I have work to get to." he stated, gesturing to the pile of papers neatly stacked on the desk he had been seated at.

  
"I see, I'll let you get to it then, try not to keep me waiting too long..." she said, smirking playfully as she turned away.

  
No sooner had she begun to walk away had the conversation shifted to what had just occurred. At least the act had been believable, that much was a relief, and yet not one scrap of useful information to be heard yet. Wandering almost leisurely into the yard, trying not to seem too purposeful as she did, making an attempt to let nothing escape her sight. More than anything, she wanted to finish the job as quickly as she could, not that this was a bad place to get away to, but she found herself feeling a little lonely. Having no one to really talk to was a bit sad almost. Yuuki glanced up then, seeing something out of the corner of her eye. For the most part, everyone blended in except for one among the number, who seemed very slightly out of place. The person in question fidgeted, whereas the other guards were all but stationary, whether this was a new man, just learning the ropes, or something more sinister was still unsure. Lazily stepping towards him, her expression kindly as she did.

  
"Excuse me, but this place is so large, and I'm afraid I've no sense for directions. I've gone and forgotten the way to the garden..." she sighed hopelessly.

  
The man frowned a little, glancing around before answering. "You'll want to go back in the way you came, hang a right into the hall until you get to the door at the end, from there, it's a straight shot." he told her.

  
"Thank you, I should be able to find it without getting lost again now." she answered, heading back in, stepping lightly into the shadows, all but disappearing when she did.

  
It was clear he had just lied to her, not from the body language or the way he spoke, those gave not even a bare hint of dishonesty. Under her pillow, someone, presumably Alistair himself, had left a sketch of the layout for her expressly so she wouldn't get lost. There were no gardens on the ground. The directions he had provided her led to a dead end, passing just by the King's own quarters. As easy as it would be to lead him away and silence him, she couldn't yet. Not until she knew if he had accomplices, or if he was alone in this, and to what end he or whoever he was working for meant to assassinate the King. At the very least, she had something to report, and the means to keep him away from trouble from one snake. It was a start.

* * *

  
A few more days of reconnaissance, careful of course, had uncovered several conspirators. Unfortunately, the one thing she wasn't good at was extracting information the way Leliana and her spies could, which left watching and listening as her options, and when the time came, she wasn't above putting them out of the way. It didn't matter if she enjoyed it or not, the truth was that there would always be people who couldn't be reasoned with, death oftentimes had been the only solution. For no other reason than the safety of others had she most often been the one to do so. It was time once more to move out, fading back into the shadows as she walked through the hall, listening outside of a locked door, maintaining a safe distance in a way only she could, while still catching every word. Whoever was speaking was evidently upset about the continued failure to deal with Alistair, to the point where a bolder attempt was in the works. They meant to throw one of those numbering the traitors under the bus, so to speak, he was to get as close as he could and kill him. The rest would stay away, and later swear they had no idea he was plotting regicide. He needed to be warned, right away, busy or not. Something like this was the very reason he had called for her, so in her mind, anything else could wait.

  
Flitting through the halls, staying concealed, she made her way back to the office. Strangely enough, he wasn't there, meaning he might be in his room again but if not there, then she had no idea where to look. If he wasn't there, his life was at risk with every passing second. It hadn't seemed like a large castle, but now that it was a matter this grave, she cursed her luck that it was as big as it was, working hard to cover the grounds quickly, but it felt like the halls expanded forever. Arriving at his door, she was sure to be quiet so as not to arouse suspicion, acting only as though she couldn't be bothered to wait on him any longer. Peering in, she heaved a sigh of relief when she saw him safe, closing the door behind her. He waved her over quietly, and she stood at his side, speaking quietly.

  
"I take it you found something. Must be big, your heart's racing and you're out of breath, meaning you ran to get here. What's the word?" he asked, observing that which she had actually only just noticed.

  
"I can't say whether I've found everyone involved, by they mean to act soon. I didn't stay long enough to hear when, but they grow desperate... " she murmured, brushing a hand hurriedly through her hair.

  
"Tell you what, you eliminate what threats you must, save for one. That one person will wait in the dungeon either until he or she is willing to talk, or until Leliana can send for someone to... convince them to talk... sound reasonable?" he offered.

 

Freezing up slightly, she turned her head slightly, staring at the door. "That's fine, but someone is coming  _now_..." she stated, the sound of footsteps coming down the hall as loud as if the person were right outside the door.

  
His eyes narrowed slightly, finally able to hear it himself as the sound grew louder, closer. Standing from his seat, he stepped closer, quickly pushing her against the wall, arm sliding around her waist, lips hovering so near to hers that she could feel his breath. "Sorry for this..." he mumbled, kissing her just as the door opened.

  
It was unexpected, and she wanted to push him away, but she immediately thought better of it, convincing herself it was just a role. Although it was over almost as quickly as it had happened, turning to see who was there.

  
"Have you forgotten how to knock, Greg? Can't you see I have company?" he asked, his tone almost icy.

  
He closed the door behind him, taking a step. Yuuki noticed his hand reaching for something, which she automatically assumed was a blade. Slipping out from his grasp, moving as quickly as she could manage, drawing her daggers and burying them in the man's chest before he could get any closer. Greg dropped to the floor and she nudged him with her foot a few times. Turning to him, she bowed deeply.

  
"I am sorry. I regret to say I had no reason to suspect he was among the traitors. Equally am I sorry that I've gotten blood on your rug, it looks expensive. I can replace it..." she told him, genuinely concerned.

  
"You shouldn't feel bad; I didn't suspect him either. As for the rug, don't worry about it, it was ugly to begin with. If they've begun to move in earnest, it won't be long before the rest make themselves known. They'll be quick to deny involvement, or at least to see what's kept him. " he noted as though this had happened before.

  
Come to think of it, she briefly recalled hearing he had asked for similar assistance before and she had Cullen send in some of his men to deal with the problem. Unless she was recalling something else, which was also possible. The sound down the hall after a time was like a herd of rams, quite a few people by the sounds of it, no doubt expecting to see the King dead. 'We heard a sound and came to check' or some such excuse planned. She brought her hand to rest on a pouch at her side, speaking but not diverting her focus.

  
"You said you only need one, yes? I'll be sure to aim carefully then..." she said with a grin. A chance to prove her skill was never unwelcome, regardless of circumstance.

  
Taking the few steps out of the room, the group stopped. Not a smart decision, but how could they know that she wasn't looking for help? In a flash, she had jumped back, hurling small, sharp daggers, striking true. Bodies fell one by one, though she had admittedly copied one of Thancred's signature moves, if it worked, it worked. She could always thank him later. The last man turned to flee, but she pursued him immediately. Closing the gap between them, she took a running leap, gripping his shoulder as she landed on him. Aside from a few scrapes, and the wind knocked out of him, he was hardly worse for the wear.

  
"You're going to come with me willingly, or I'll have to start removing fingers. Do you understand?" she asked him, the threat blatant but one meant only to intimidate.

  
"Yes, I beg you, have mercy, I'll go wherever you say!" he pleaded.

  
Yuuki stood up then, her hand gripping his arm so hard her nails dug in, in case he thought he could best her. He was head and shoulders taller than she, but that meant nothing, not when she had taken out much larger beasts than him. Pulling him back towards the room in silence, her eyes saying everything. 'Try anything, and you'll join your friends.' was the threat veiled behind them. Not losing her grip on him, she stopped just short of the King, beaming proudly.

  
"One traitor, as requested. I believe you can handle it from here." she stated. "Guessing you don't object if I get back to my own home now?"

  
Alistair reached for the man, his hold on the captive much firmer. However, he shook his head. "I'm afraid your ride won't be here until tomorrow, I understand your desire to leave, but I must insist you wait just a little longer." he stated, leaving before she could argue. Yuuki waited for a time before she figured it was safe to go back her own room for the night, though ready to leave as soon as she was able to. It was likely the best idea to try and rest, though she just knew that sleep would elude her, as it so often did where death was involved.

  
Early the next morning, there was a knock on the door. After a short pause, it opened, and the elven woman from before stuck her head in.

  
"Excuse me miss, the King wanted to speak with you before you leave." she said quietly, closing the door after.

  
As she had guessed, she hadn't slept, the feeling much like having no life left in her as she trudged down the hall to meet with her host. Standing once more when she entered the room, he pointed to an envelope on the table.

  
"As we discussed previously, I'd like to send you with a letter, meant only for Leliana's eyes, no one else. I also wished to thank you again for helping, I'm sure you would have preferred to not be away so long." he began, stopping to think for a short time. "I'm sorry for last night as well, I assure you I had no ulterior motives, save for trying to ensure your safety."

  
Yuuki shook her head, rather embarrassed that it was brought up again. "No, please don't apologize, it doesn't feel right..." she answered, turning her interest to the wall.

  
"I suspect your ride should be here to pick you up shortly. Do have a safe trip." he said, being called away shortly after.

  
Yuuki bowed deeply, excusing herself to go wait patiently outside.

* * *

  
The return was another two days, as expected. She bore a letter to give to Leliana, not minding the downgrade from royal lady of the night to messenger girl. Yuuki was very happy to be back once more, though she had to question when it was that she began to refer to this place as 'home'. Surprisingly, she wasn't as tired as she imagined she would be, catching a nap on the way back. Judging by the absence of destruction, it was a safe bet nothing of real note happened while she was away, that much was a minor blessing. For now, she would settle for seeing the missive into the appropriate hands, and then concern herself with updates as to what, if anything occurred in her absence.

 


	22. Uncover

Laying back on the bed, she stared at the ceiling with a quiet sigh. Her thoughts had been drifting back and forth constantly between her friends and what still needed to be done. The door opened, calling her back to the present, it was Cullen, which hadn't surprised her in the least. She hadn't even mentioned she had returned, it had slipped her mind completely. Half-expecting a lecture right off, she prepared herself for it.

  
"It's a little awkward to find out from someone else that you were back." he said, leaving it at that.

  
"I'm sorry, I really should have let you know, I've been distracted and allowed myself to get sidetracked." she admitted.

  
He took a few steps towards her, closing the gap between them. There was a shift in his expression, but she couldn't quite place what it was. Reaching out, he pulled her against his chest, exhaling slowly before he spoke again. "I missed you. I had it in my head that maybe you missed me too." he said.

  
Everything about him made her feel vulnerable and exposed in a way she wasn't sure how to deal with, and yet the urge to protect herself had all but completely vanished. A side effect of being away, possibly, but it somehow seemed he was taller than she remembered, aware of the difference immediately. "I did miss you, more than I might usually admit to. All I wanted was to come home.." she sighed.

  
That she called this home, and wanted to come back was something of a surprise. There was a mild excitement in finding out she had even thought about him at all while she was away. Remembering that he had come at the behest of her friend, he let go of her, though it was obvious he hadn't wanted to.

  
"Cid asked me to speak with you when I had the chance. Something about aether density and communication, I'm not sure what he meant, but he seemed rather pleased, so I'd guess the news was good.." he told her.

  
It didn't make much sense to her either, but the hope that he had managed some level of progress was promising. She moved to leave, though he reached for her once more, some part of her secretly hoping he might do just that. "You know.. I could just pretend I never got the message. I could stay here with you and be content with that.." she murmured.

  
Cullen shook his head reluctantly, it wasn't that he wouldn't have liked that, but that he knew it was important to her. "Take care of this first. I waited my whole life for you, a little longer won't hurt." he said, a half grin tugging at his features.

  
It had been the first time she'd ever heard anyone say something like that, and it spread a warmth inside her chest that felt strange to her. It was worrisome in its own way, and the sudden desire to get out before he could pick up on it was strong. Awkwardly excusing herself, she almost tripped over herself in her hurry. If there had been a record for getting out to the yard quickly, she had likely just broken it, though she found herself feeling stupid for running away like that. Staring down void beasts was hardly frightening, and yet hearing something like that caused a wave of panic. This shouldn't be so hard to deal with, and yet it was. Cid spoke then, calling her out of her thoughts for a few moments.

  
"Good, you're here. I'll get right to it then: I think we can establish some manner of connection now, but the problem is that the aetheric pressure is too dense here. Simply put, we won't be able to use the linkshell unless the lightning aspected crystals can be amplified over the others to cut through.." he explained, wiping at his brow.

  
"Strange, I think I actually understand what you mean. I'm not sure I have any ideas worth mentioning at present. If this world has crystals, I sure don't know about them, so if the problem is a lack of crystals, I don't know how to help. Unless.." she replied, suddenly thinking.

  
"Unless what?" he questioned.

  
"Do you remember Mor Dhona? You made signal jamming devices that worked on Lightning aspected crystal? Is it possible to make a device like that, but instead of blocking the signals, amplifying them?" she asked, wondering if it was even possible. "Wait.. I do know someone who might be able to help as well.."

  
Cid crossed his arms, considering the initial suggestion, mentally going over the schematics of such a device. "I do believe that might be possible. Hopefully this someone has an idea about where I can get the parts I need for something like that.." he commented off-handedly.

  
Yuuki pointed towards the hall. "Inside, there's a forge at the far end of the hall. There's a woman named Dagna there. She might be able to help you with what you need, seems to have a talent for problem solving in a way that I don't even understand." she admitted with a shrug. Laughing a little then, she grinned. "If you want, I could say a prayer for you."

  
Cid seemed faraway for just a moment. "If I thought it would help, I'd be for it, but you know as well as I do, the Twelve haven't exactly been listening since the Calamity. You must have seen it for yourself, acting as they did would likely have required a gargatuan amount of energy, even Gods must rest, I'm sure."

  
She had meant it as a joke, a prayer that he returned from meeting the dwarven girl without an accident occurring. Though now that he had brought it up, it was on her mind now too. Hydaelyn herself was greatly weakened from fending off the darkness, and she knew better than anyone that deities had to recover like anyone else. Her gaze momentarily drawn across the yard, noticing Solas had just returned from somewhere, likely out dreaming.

  
 _Perhaps not better than everyone_..

  
That thought had been hidden away for a time, his eyes connecting with hers for a moment. She quickly looked away, not wanting to draw his attention any longer than needed. The Echo was sometimes a blessing, but could also serve as a curse, showing her things she had never wanted to see, it had a tendency to make things awkward for her, knowing the secrets people buried even from themselves. Her attempt had only served to make him approach her, unfortunate as she had no idea what to say. Solas narrowed his eyes for a moment, waving her off to the side. She had to admit she was dreading this, having no dialogue planned for what was certain to come next.

  
"You've been avoiding me." he said plainly.

  
Not one for wasting time, she supposed. Since he was speaking honestly, perhaps it was best she revealed her hand now, rather than waiting.   
"Indeed I have." she admitted freely.

  
"If you have a problem with me, I would hear it." he replied, wondering if she would even answer.

  
Yuuki tucked her hands behind her back, one hand holding the wrist of the other, glancing at the ground as though hoping it might open up and swallow her down so she wouldn't have to deal with this.

  
"Are you prepared for the answer, no matter what it might be?" she countered.

  
He said nothing, only nodding in response to the question she had posed.

  
"You are surely aware I'm different. I have a manifestation of a rare ablity known as the Echo. No two people possess the same kind. Mine is that I can transcend the soul, I can see the truth of a person, view their memories and even interact with them, though I can change nothing about them. As a side effect, I can also innately understand languages not my own, that I might learn the machinations of people not my own." she stated.

  
"So I see, and for this reason, you've purposely made sure our paths have not crossed." he said, as though he didn't quite see that as a valid excuse.

  
Instead of offering a straight answer, she went for one as Urianger often gave her, wrapped in riddles. "Solas, do you know what I like best about Gridania?" she questioned, staring up at the gathering clouds in the sky while she waited.

  
"I'm not sure what that has to do with the topic at hand, but I will indulge you for a moment: what?" he asked, a mild sigh bordering on frustration escaping.

  
"Even the wolves are welcome among the sheep." she answered.

  
This took him by surprise, yet he maintained his composure, opting to instead pry a little more to see just how much she knew. "You think me a wolf? Such things are the domain of children's stories."

  
Yuuki turned to face him then, beckoning him closer, her voice low as she whispered to him. Something like this was not for others to hear. "I know who and what you are. I know what you've done. However, since I do consider you a friend, I will do you the courtesy of explaining how this can play out. When this is over, either you stay and give up on it, you come with me to Eorzea and forget this realm exists, or you can leave, continue on as you would and you will force me to do something I would much prefer to avoid." she whispered. "No choice is needed at this time, think it over. The way things are going, it might be awhile before you have to decide. Lest you worry, your secret is safe with me, it will go no further. I should offer a warning, however. Cid is special, that mark he hides? It's a third eye, there is nothing hidden from it, either avoid him or trust that he will not betray me, and thus will not reveal it either."

  
Solas looked away, apparently considering what she had said. Logically, it was a sound reason to avoid him, and yet now that it was out in the open, he wondered if that meant she would continue to tolerate his presence from a distance or if things would return to the way they had initially been. Polite conversation, and perhaps a slightly enhanced interest in learning from each other.

  
"When I reach my decision, I'd like to speak about it, just the two of us. I'd rather no one else hear one way or the other. " he requested.

  
"That would be fine, only perhaps this time not in the Fade. I don't have your fondness for it, in fact it is quite on par with some of the worst nightmares I've had." she complained.

  
"I've explained how it works before. If you want it to be pleasant you must see it as such, if you go in thinking only bad things, that's what you get.." he sighed.

  
She glanced away, her mind drifting again. "I can't claim to know what you have and have not experienced, and you may be able to shrug off the negatives, but I can't, if I could, surely things would be better for me now. Though I suppose not just for me.." she said, referencing Cullen.

  
If she could only let go of the past, wouldn't she be able to stop holding back? It made sense in theory, but the very idea felt like forgetting the events that led her to this point, and to shrug them off seemed cold, wrong. He had done nothing but reassure her, and yet something was still bothering her.

  
"There's more on your mind, if you would share it, I may be able to help somehow." Solas offered, glancing back.

  
Cid had seemingly left, so she supposed it wouldn't hurt to talk a little longer. "Before I speak, realize this is theoretical, I'm not hinting at anything to do with you. Assume for a moment, you and I were.. together.. wouldn't it bother you that I'm not.. like you?" she asked, trying to be as delicate as possible.

  
Solas drew a hand to his hip, tilting his head down so he could make eye contact while he thought it over. "Theoretical? Theoretically, if you and I were together, I would first assume that it's love you're curious about and not simply sex. If I loved you, then the answer would be no, it wouldn't bother me that you're not "like me". If it was a purely physical relationship, I don't suppose it would really matter. " he said.

  
Reaching for her arm, she curled her fingers loosely around it, taking a deep breath. This was assuming that he could be a reasonable comparison to Cullen, though honestly, she had no idea what was preventing her from believing him.

  
"If you had a chance to change who you are, how you looked, would you take it?" she questioned once more.

  
Solas shook his head immediately. "No. I am content with who I am. Are you not similarly satisfied with yourself?"

  
Yuuki shrugged, unsure how to answer that. "I have never second guessed myself. Not until I came here, I'm just beginning to wonder if I'm too different.." she grumbled.

  
He frowned a little when she said that. "You are different. That's not a bad thing, and I very much doubt that you have any cause to worry so much. People like you just fine the way you are, and if you haven't had any problems with yourself, then why concern yourself with it now?" he asked.

  
It was a valid point, there really was no reason to be so worried about it. She supposed if anyone demanded she change who she was that the problem was with them and not her after all. "You're right.. thank you for listening to me whine, I suppose I've wasted enough time, I should be getting back to work.." she sighed, turning to leave.

  
Solas stopped her one last time, tilting his head. "I hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but I heard you needed to amplify something with lightning aspected energy. Instead of crystals, have you thought about discharging a large amount of electrical energy through magic?" he asked. "Just something to think about, I won't keep you any longer."

  
That seemed like too simple of a solution, but the more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Things were different here, and without the typical solutions of home, it was critical to think outside the box. As much as she wanted to test the idea out, the best thing she could do would be to wait and run it by Cid first, just in case there was a reason not to. Which meant that she still had to get back to work for the time being, sighing to herself as she wandered towards the steps. Josephine had given her a rather large book to read through on her own time, a compilation of Thedas' history. The sooner she finished it, the sooner she could get the business of saving the Empress underway, assuming there were no further interruptions. Fate had a strange sense of humor, however, and she anticipated things getting in the way, as they so often did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for the information: 
> 
> The Echo is a special ability that some rare individuals possess, and an important part of the Final Fantasy XIV storyline. Those that have been 'gifted', as the members of the Path of the Twelve call it, have the power to resonate with other people's souls—and see their past, albeit not able to interfere or change it, as well as being able to speak every language in the world. As a side effect, the Echo also seems to prevent its user from being tempered by Primals.
> 
> It has been reported that this power is awakening over the last ten years, with no signal of its existence before that time. Those who awaken to it often experience a vision of meteors falling from a burning sky. It said the Echo activates whenever a Calamity draws near, which came to pass with the fall of Dalamud in the Seventh Umbral Era. The Students of Baldesion were a Sharlayan institute devoted to studying the Echo and the "Rejoining" phenomena.
> 
> >Information grabbed from the Wiki for proper description.


	23. Success

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is more a 1/2 chapter.

Finally, with the help of the arcanist, the device was ready to be charged up. A makeshift spire of combined clusters piling up in the yard, unlike anything she had seen in her time here. The gathered crowd implying that she was not the only one fascinated by the sight. Taking a deep breath, she found herself rethinking the idea to assail it with electricity, not that she wasn't capable, just that she had learned to exercise a due amount of caution when it came to things she would normally do, since they seemed to go so very wrong here. Despite her reservations, when she received the signal, she took her cue. Raising her staff, the clear sky became thickly clouded with angry, swelling storm clouds, the very air hissing and crackling with energy. The atmospheric scent was familiar, almost reassuring, as if begging her to relinquish the tightly checked grip she held on herself.

  
"Whenever you're ready!" Cid called to her.

  
Giving a nod, she let loose the accumulated storm, the force with which her staff snapped back physically moving her backwards a few feet. There was an almost blinding flash of light, a deafening boom, her heart racing with excitement. The feeling of creating such a destructive force with only a light gesture was always thrilling. Pillars of smoke rolled low, dissipating slowly. Being unable to see from her angle, it was a mystery if it had even connected with the crystalline peaks or not.

  
"How's my aim?" she asked, with a slight chuckle.

  
Waving a hand in front of his face, trying to chase away the smoke so he could get a clearer view. The reaction appeared to be quite positive.

  
"Spot on, Yuu. Looks like you managed to overclock the device, it'll be a little bit before we can find out if it worked or not. The excess needs to discharge naturally." he explained, presumably trying to keep it as plain as he could.

  
How long could that take, really? A feeling of anxiety overcame her, waiting was not her specialty, and it already felt like an eternity had passed, though it had very likely only been a few minutes. A strange feeling overcame her, something that felt far away, hard to put into words. It could be the lingering clouds, darkening the skies, possibly some residual trauma from what had happened in Haven, or something like it.

  
"How much longer?" she asked, her voice anxious.

  
"Looks like it's ready now." He said, tossing a linkshell to her. "Give it a try."

  
Yuuki put in on, her fingertips pressed to it, half expecting static again. "Hello?" she asked hesitantly.

  
Moving her hand away, holding her breath without realizing it. "Mistress Homura, is that you?" a voice called after a few moments.

  
Exhaling heavily, she brought her hand back. "Tataru, is that you? Is something wrong, you sound.. nervous." she continued.

  
"Something is very wrong.. shortly after you left, Thancred went missing again, and we've seen an increase in Garlean activity around the site where you opened the rift. I'm worried they're plotting something horrible.." she replied, her voice shaking.

  
Her fingers inching away from it so her voice wouldn't be picked up, she frowned. Gripping her staff so firmly her knuckles turned white. " _Fuck_.." being the only word that came to mind. She didn't often find herself prone to such language, but the news had brought back a flood of unpleasant memories, things she would have much preferred stay buried.

  
"Do you have any idea where Thancred might have gone?" she asked, preferring to keep her focus on the immediate problem.

  
"I know where he went.. I just don't know where he ended up.. Yuuki, he _followed_ you through the rift, after everyone went ahead, it stayed open for a short time, and before anyone could react, he jumped through, and it closed.." she said, outright bursting into tears after the words had slipped.

  
Great, more wonderful news. Not only were these lands crawling with demons, but bandits, undead, dragons, cultists, and of course the ancient bastard himself. None of which he would be aware of. Thancred could be absolutely anywhere, assuming he made it out as they did, he could even be dead. If he had landed in the Fade, the problem could be much worse than she imagined, if not, then he was very likely lost.

  
" _Seven hells_.. it never ends.." she sighed to herself.

  
"We'll find him, don't worry.." she told her. It could be a lie, who could say if finding him was even possible.

  
Turning off the channel, hanging her head, she pushed past the crowd that had gathered, unable to think straight with this news. Cid made no move to stop her, recognizing the distressed expression she wore, having seen it so many times. Instead of immediately heading for her room, she instead took a different door, climbing the stairs to the highest level. This was not a time to fall apart, action was needed, and when she saw the woman at the top, she already had everything plotted out in her mind.

  
"Leliana, I have a task for your men. A friend of mine followed after all, and is lost. I need him found, and if he's anywhere to be seen, I know that they can pick up the trail." she stated by way of greeting.

  
She turned, waving over one of the people wandering the room. Relaying the message to him, he took off immediately. "I'll be sending some of my best trackers presently. In the meantime, we received the invitation you've been waiting for. We leave first thing in the morning, if you have any preparations to make, I suggest you deal with them tonight and ready yourself." She replied.

  
Nodding in response, heading back down the stairs. When she stepped into the main hall, however, she noticed her hands were shaking, her legs threatening to give out. A hand grabbed her arm, holding her steady so she wouldn't fall over. Cid stood there, a serious expression on his face, and she knew he had something on his mind.

  
"She's waking up, does it hurt?" he asked.

  
Denying it would do precious little good, he could see everything she had carefully been concealing. At this point, it might be better just to admit it, knowing this was something beyond her understanding.

  
"Haha... I don't think hurt is quite the right word for this." she countered, trying to play it off as best as she could manage.

  
"I wish I had some kind of wise thing to tell you, but I don't.. I'm not sure anyone does." he sighed, scratching his head in thought. "Hydaelyn blessed you with her light, I'm reasonably certain you won't come to harm from this."

  
"I'm not worried about harm. I can handle pain pretty well. I'm worried about what happens if the wrong people find out." she said, taking a deep breath.

  
"You should take the opportunity to rest up, sounds like you've got important business to attend to, it won't do to have you slowed down like this." he instructed. "I can fetch Urianger if you think he might be able to help?"

  
"No.. no, it's fine, don't bother him, I can handle this, it's no problem." she assured him, walking slowly towards her room. "Thank you though.."

  
Yuuki had imagined a dozen different ways she wanted this night to go, and this was not among them. Laying down when she reached her bed, she stretched out as much as she could manage, burying her face in her pillow as she did. Mentally counting down, she looked up when she reached 'one', the door opening as if on cue. Surprisingly, it was Cullen, she had been at least partially expecting Urianger after all. Perhaps not so surprising after all, now that she thought about it, they had scarcely seen each other recently. He sat on the edge of the bed, speaking after a bit.

  
"Cid sent you, didn't he?" she asked, her voice muffled as she had dropped her head down again.

  
"Yes, says your not feeling very well." he answered, lightly pressing his hand against her back. "You're freezing.. "

  
Turning onto her back slowly so she could at least do him the courtesy of looking at him while she spoke this time. "So I am. It's nothing to worry about, it'll pass." she mumbled, not really wanting to elaborate.

  
"I realize you're not used to this, but the least you can do is let me take care of you once in awhile.." he stated, a bit more demanding from usual.

  
Oddly, his tone had her rethinking things. "There's nothing for this, trust me. If something could be done, I swear I would tell you. I don't like it when you look at me like that, the idea that I've disappointed you is troublesome."

  
Worded wrongly as it seemed to be, he understood her meaning anyway. Brushing the hair from her face, he appeared to be lost in thought. "You don't disappoint me. I'm concerned for you.."

  
Pushing herself to sit up slightly, she pulled him down against her, lips pressed to his cheek for just a moment. "I've considered it a little myself. Right now, it's tomorrow that worries me. In my experience, interfering with assassins tends to end badly. Tonight, at least, I'd rather not think about that.."

  
He stretched out alongside her, suddenly distracted once more.

  
"I can see you, you know. I'm curious about what you find so amusing.." she grumbled, an idea of what it might be already in mind.

  
"Forgive me love, but you are pretty short after all.." he commented, unable to stop himself from laughing a little.

  
Eye to eye like this, he happened to have noticed she stopped just above his knees. The realization that her choice in footwear had made her seem much taller finally hitting him.

  
"I'm still growing!" she protested "Auri girls aren't known for being tall.."

  
"As that may be, for now, you're portable." he teased.

  
It was clear she was getting flustered, about to say something. Cullen traced a finger along her jaw, drawing her closer, kissing her deeply. Partly to distract her into calming down, and partly because it had felt like forever since he last had. It worked perfectly, her eyes closed slowly, hands delicately pressing against his shoulders. Pulling back slowly, he leaned lower, kissing her neck lightly, her pulse beating faster as he did. Her nails dug in slightly in response, a light pink tint spreading across her face.

  
"That's hardly fair.. " she murmured softly.

  
"Isn't it?" he asked, the sounds vibrating along her skin, his breath warm.

  
She couldn't bring herself to answer right away, unable to think straight like this, feeling him continuing down, pausing just below her collarbone. "Not really, we have to go early in the morning.." she whispered, barely managing that much.

  
Glancing up at her, he quickly diverted his focus back. "If you're concerned, I believe I can help you get to sleep.." he offered, gripping her hip loosely in emphasis.

  
"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested.." her voice breaking up slightly.

  
Laughing a bit, Cullen stood up then, walking away, to her confusion. Ahead of the question he was sure she was poised to ask, he answered before she could. "I would imagine you'd rather not be interrupted.." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone wonders why this is a half chapter, things are about to get a bit.. adult.


	24. Prepare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Plans to sleep get thrown out the window in favor of a work out..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The technical continuation of the last 1/2 chapter~

The trail of his clothes led right back to the bed, apparently eager to pick up where he had left off with her. Tugging at the front of the robes she wore, cupping her breast lightly, his other hand moving lower. Trailing slowly down her body, blunted nails tickling slightly, muscles tensing in response. Despite an ever growing need to have her, it was more entertaining this way, intentionally taking as long as he could. Drawing the delicate lines of her hips, across the edge of her panties and back a few times, delving underneath the thin band. Shutting her eyes, she bit her lip in an effort to stay quiet, raising slightly into his touch. As much as she was trying to hide it, it was becoming increasingly obvious, his fingers easily sliding against her. Even with a shared lack of experience, Cullen had no trouble telling precisely what she wanted, almost like a silent language that only they knew. Withdrawing his hand, grasping the edges of her last remaining garment, he pulled back, the thin fabric tearing away.

  
Pulling her legs back and apart, a deep blush breaking across her face in a way that suggested she verged on shame over the clear invitation. He had wanted to wait a little longer, but seeing her like that was difficult to resist. Leaning over her, he pressed against her, slipping in after a short struggle, keeping his pace slow at first. He went for her neck, teeth scraping slightly as he bit down, sucking softly at the impression left on her skin. Holding back as best as she was able to, the only sound was the steady thumping, a symphonic arrangement of limbs colliding together, punctuated by strained breathing. She pulled him closer, her legs secured around his waist, the last spaces between them vanishing, grinding into her harder, faster at her quiet urging. Watching the way she swayed underneath him was hypnotic almost, desperately holding onto his arms, her body arching upward against him.

  
He leaned more fully on her, a whimper escaping her barely parted lips. Every indication told him she was getting closer, nearly unable to hold it back, the way her nails scratched into him, her unstable breathing, body trembling, it wouldn't take much more to push her over the edge. Slamming into her harder, he grinned, hearing her cry out, not managing to keep it in for the first time he could recall. Her insides quivering, gripping tighter, warm and wet, her reaction even a little embarrassing to him. In her excitement, the stuttered sound of his name had slipped, yet another thing he had never expected to hear. He moved slightly, pinning her down as his hands reached lower, grasping her hips. Moving her physically in counter to his rhythm, muscles drawing tighter in anticipation, chest rising and falling faster with every breath. Blunt nails digging against her, slid as deeply into her as he could manage when it hit him, a low growl echoing slightly as a sense of relief began to wash over him. Pulling away from her slowly, taking a deep breath, laying next to her after a moment.

  
Twisting onto her stomach, she pressed her face into the pillow following a soft sigh. Her voice muffled, almost difficult to make out the words. "You did say you could help me get to sleep.. you weren't wrong.." she murmured, yawning.

  
Leaning in, he nipped at the back of her neck, gripping her ass briefly. "That's surprising. Usually takes more effort, I thought for sure you'd want to go again.." he joked.

  
Though he supposed it was only partially a joke, having realized almost immediately that she had an enviable amount of stamina, and didn't tire easily for the most part. Raising her head up slightly, he figured her response would be something to the effect of wanting to get some rest for the next day.

  
"Nnn... give me a few minutes.." she mumbled, stretching a bit before pushing herself to sit up.

  
If she was willing, he certainly wasn't about to complain, in truth, a few minutes might benefit him as well. It wasn't as though they couldn't catch a nap on the way, after all.


	25. Crescendo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arriving at the Winter Palace, a secret begins to unravel.

Finally on the way to the Winter Palace, and the girl had barely managed to roll out of bed and drag herself out. Cullen, on the other hand, seemed wide awake and was coping well with the loss of sleep. Borrowing his arm, she leaned against him, eyes barely open, still a fair distance away.

  
"I hope you don't mind being my temporary pillow.." she mumbled.

  
Shaking his head slightly, he stared out the window at the fast-passing scenery. "I don't mind." he answered.

  
Bull looked up, laughing to himself. "Really put you through your paces, huh?" he asked.

  
Her face flushed, hiding her face against his shoulder. "I.. I just had a hard time falling asleep, that's all." she answered.

  
He snorted quietly. "Anyone ever tell you you're a terrible liar?"

  
She couldn't believe she had forgotten that reading people was part of what he did for a living. Of course he could tell she was lying, but she hadn't really wanted to discuss such a private matter in the gathered company. It was difficult enough to talk about it when they were alone, as a matter of fact.

  
"I have heard that, actually. Anyone ever tell you that you have a huge weak spot that's incredibly exploitable?" she countered, in a way that meant she had no desire to talk about her flaws unless he was equally willing to hear about his.

  
"Hm. Fair enough." he said, dropping the topic.

  
Glancing down, she wrinkled her nose slightly. "I'd just like to go on the record and say I hate this outfit.." she grumbled, pulling her legs to her chest, getting as comfortable as she could manage.

  
"No one actually likes these." Cullen said, pulling at the sleeves in discomfort.

  
"Yes, but at least you didn't have to cut a hole in your breeches." she complained.

  
Reaching back, he gently tugged at her tail. "I suppose not." he said, lowering his voice to a bare whisper "It's growing on me." he admitted.

  
It had been strange at first, but by now it was something that didn't even occur to him as strange anymore. He could swear half of her emotion was stored it in somewhere. If a person relied solely on looking at her face to figure out what was on her mind, they would find it a challenge, but few people bothered to pay attention to it out of fear of offending her. Really though, it was apparent that it was the easiest method of identifying her feelings, and to some small extent, her thoughts.

  
Matching his low tone, she quietly answered him. "I'm glad. It was a matter of no small concern, honestly."

 

* * *

  
That she was horribly out of place was immediately apparent, the scrutiny of everyone focused directly on her. Trying to decide what exactly she was, and what they thought about that matter like she was livestock or some antique heirloom that they weren't quite sure if they wanted. Aside from that, the only immediately observation she could make was simply that it was a lovely palace, full of treachery and schemes. She had been advised to trust no one, and yet make her own judgment calls on what she thought. At least on the subject of not trusting, that much was simple, but to have the fate of a world she barely knew rest in her hands in this way, was that truly the wisest course of action? It was second nature in Eorzea, she was of those lands, knew most places with all the intimacy of a lover, every rock, every landmark, as familiar to her as anything could be. Here? She had trouble remembering where places were in her own fortress, the lands feeling cold and hostile, terrifyingly unfamiliar, bordering on frightening. What of the Empress herself? What if she was just as hostile, everyone had assured her she was kind, well liked and reasonable, but to a foreign envoy, and one recalling the visage of a dragon such as herself? It would hardly be surprising if before the night was over, at least one attempt on her life would be made as well.

  
Of course the memories started now. Adding a little extra trauma to an already tense situation was expected by now. Scattered, fragmented images of fierce wars waged between tribes, subjugating those who would submit and the spread out corpses of those who refused. As well as the humans who hunted her people for their horns, or sometimes for no reason other than ignorance and hatred. Palming her face for a moment, she took a deep, shaking breath, steadying herself as she entered the gates. The Duke had certainly seemed reasonable, and had treated her with kindness so far, and yet, that alone was suspicious as well. There was no reasoning to it beyond knowing that if he hoped to upset the balance of power that he needed her. Kindness itself the weapon of choice for that approach. Masked as these people might be, the intent they tried to veil as plain as if they wore brightly colored signs marking them. The thing that bothered her the most was that she was the only one finding the experience unnatural. Josephine dealt with these kind of people all the time, it was her dominion, and Leliana was well versed in this too. Even Cullen with his disinterest in nobility and matters such as this seemed only slightly irritated.

  
In her mind, she silently reviewed her credibility for even being here. _The Sultana.. House Fortemps, Ser Aymeric, Dzemael, Durendaire, Haillenarte, Hraesvelgr, Vidofnir. Archbishop Thordan_. _._ Names of important people and matters she had been called upon to help with. Impressive for one such as her who possessed no formal education, no nobility among humans, and yet she herself possessed more titles than most of the people gathered here. Finding her confidence, she took the chance to slip away and begin poking around, glad for all the selfish people for this reason alone. That they were all concerned for their own gains meant they hardly noticed her absence. This place reminded her a lot of Ishgard, in that it was crawling with Elves, largely ignored except to be waited on, ignorant in the assumption that they had nothing better to do. Perhaps because she saw the situation for what it was, but it seemed like she was noticing much more than even those who prided themselves on knowing everything. A cursory report was necessary, meaning she had no choice but the enter the crowded ballroom again, wading through as carefully as she could. Seeking out Leliana, she spoke quietly, though her attention wandered to the group of overly friendly people gathering around Cullen. She was not known for being unreasonable, and he did seem to be troubled by the attention, and yet she felt the bitter toxins rising in her chest. Shaking it off, she turned back, hoping for some idea as to where to look next.

  
With the new hint, she turned to leave, running into someone on the way out. Actually running into her, not that "Oh, hey, it's you." kind, but the "I've made a terrible error." kind. Objectively, she was beautiful, and she spoke politely despite the mistake, and yet there was a lingering sense of danger despite that. Worse still, she claimed to have noticed that she had been digging around the palace the whole night. As careful as she had been, someone took note, not a good sign at all. If this woman knew, then the odds were good that the very assassins she was hunting also knew. No chance to drop her guard for even a second knowing that, even the slightest lapse could mean her death. Presented with a key and a task, she exhaled slowly, glad that at least for now, the strange mage wouldn't pose a threat to her.

  
"Fury, watch over me..." she muttered to herself as she changed direction.

* * *

  
Blood trails everywhere, and yet no one seemed to care. People were hardly disposable, and yet it seemed like that was a common thought here. It didn't matter in the least after all, it appeared none of the guests were aware of the presence of Venatori, save for those involved in this plot anyway. She had already gathered a short list of suspects, all attendees who were closest to the Empress, at least one among them had to be the culprit. Having taken Cid's advice, she did come as a Monk, surprising how cathartic punching people into the ground was. The further in she got, the more relaxed she was becoming, able to release the tension and frustration of dealing with such horrible company.

  
"I had been meaning to ask, those gauntlets you have.. I've never seen anything like those before, where did you get them?" Dorian asked, rather pleasant conversation considering the surroundings. Not that she expected less from him, the whole event was probably more familiar to him than he had let on.

  
"Killed a goddess." she replied simply, implying they were obtained from destroying Garuda on one occasion.

  
"You're a terrible storyteller.." he sighed.

  
"Okay, fine, since I've nothing better to do than take out the trash, I suppose I can spare a few details. I realize it won't make sense to you, so do bear with me. The Ixal had summoned their goddess for the third time, and I was tasked with seeing her brought down. Again. I collected my reward in the form of wrenching out her very talons for these. When you look upon these fists, know only that you stare upon the fearsome weapons of a deity." she said, turning on her heel in time to deliver a crushing blow to some foe that believed her unguarded.

  
"Ah. I see, no big deal, am I understanding your casual attitude correctly?" he asked, a fiery glyph exploding nearby.

  
"Pretty much. It gets more annoying than anything. Sure, they're stronger every time they are called upon, but you'd think after the second time, the beast tribes would give up." she responded.

  
"So that shaking is intentional?" Blackwall asked as he cut down some poor fool.

  
"It's a reasonable response to a situation that is only very slightly familiar. The last time this happened, I was accused of being complicit in the attempt.." she answered, not allowing herself to think back on it.

  
"Now that sounds like a story. I know very well you can multitask, so talk while you punch." he said.

  
Walking through the now empty hall, she kept her eye out for anything that seemed relevant to the investigation at hand. So far, the search had yielded rather suspect documents and a locket she was told was Elven in origin, from the Empress's own vault, nonetheless.

  
"I was called on by the Sultana, Nanamo. We met in private, Nanamo meant to dissolve the Sultanate for the sake of the people, while we dined, she collapsed. Someone had poisoned her wine, Teledji Adeleji, a member of the Syndicate, came in, saw her, and saw me. He accused me of Regicide, and attempts were made on mine and my friend's lives. Raubahn himself lost an arm in the ensuing chaos." she sighed, shaking the memory away.

  
"So what happened after all that?" Bull said, finally speaking.

  
"Raubahn believed Teledji Adeleji was responsible for the death of the Sultana, and he slew him right there. His own friend betrayed him, cutting his arm off. I thought the last of my friends.. my family, gone. I later discovered they had escaped at great cost. Later, I learned that the assassination attempt had come to light before she drank the wine, and instead of dying, she fell into a deep sleep. She woke up when presented with the cure, and eventually,we were able to track down some of my friends.." she answered.

  
Y'shtola herself had been found completely naked, presumably blind from the trip in the Lifestream. Thancred took much longer to find, also damaged from it, and yet, there was something to be said about the way he looked. Tanned, more muscular, his hair longer and a scattering of facial hair that hadn't been there before. The time in the wilderness had been kind to him, it seemed. Her on the other hand, had apparently not changed at all, a thought which made her a little sad to think about. After all, why should time change them, but not her? Like time had passed her by, leaving her at a standstill. It was obvious she had no desire to continue the conversation, heading back to share her findings yet again, and perhaps see what to do about the locket.

* * *

  
Back in the ballroom, engaged in a dance with the Duchess, in front of everyone, was beyond nerve-wracking to her. It was only painfully obvious to her that she was trying to bait her, ascertain her intentions. For that reason, and for her own sense of self-preservation did she keep her answers short and entirely neutral. As helpful as she was trying to come off as, the feeling that she was tangled in the grip of a serpent was overwhelming. So much so that she half expected to be left in a pool of her own blood on the floor, not entirely fatal, after all, hadn't Aymeric also taken a knife and resumed his duties before he had a chance to recover? When she managed to get away without attracting undue suspicion, she met back up with her advisors, her intense heartbeat the indication of her anxiety. Keeping the conversation quiet and short to disguise the way her breath was failing her, it appeared she had one more place to search through.

  
Following the corridors, she paused in front of a door, a pounding sensation overtaking her chest. Her hand propped on the wood, she felt a wave of pain, a coating of ice forming under her hand. She wasn't able to access her magic in this job, frowning a little at the implication. Hoping no one had noticed, flinging the door open, what greeted her was unexpected. A waiting group of people, weapons pointed in her direction and a rift, right there..

  
" _Fucking hell_.." she groaned, the mounting stress overtaking her for a moment.

  
"Look at the mouth on you." Bull laughed, hefting his axe onto his shoulder.

  
As expected, the Duchess had been waiting for her, taunting in the words she spoke, as if aware that victory was in reach. Had the temperature dropped suddenly, why did she feel so cold..

  
Before she could register a single thought, an eruption of energy exploded around her, coating the area in thick ice, it was as if she had momentarily lost control over her own body. Moving without willing herself to, every movement a concentrated, calculated strike, no effort wasted unnecessarily. Dark hair and tanned skin momentarily replaced by lengthy straight, white locks, pallid skin, mismatched eyes now singularly grey, ringed in the brightest white.

  
"Well that's new.." Blackwall observed, unsure what to make of the situation.

  
" _ **My fury awakened, no harm shall come to thee. Mine host bids your safety**_.." a strange voice emerging from her lips.

  
It was unlike the abilities she had previously displayed, this voice was powerful, yet kind, like a cool touch on a hot day, it veiled a sense of succor. Within the span of moments, all opposition was reduced to crystalline crusted bodies, and the rift closed. Yuuki stood there, body limp even as she remained on her feet, grasping her chest, her breathing labored, frozen clouds exhaled with every breath. Her appearance slowly reverting back to how she normally looked, entirely confusing to her friends as to what had just happened. Instinct told her she would definitely have some explaining to do soon. Busying herself with helping the only person aside from her group still alive in the small area, surprised he didn't find the sight too shocking. In fact, he was prepared to offer his employment rather easily.

  
"I... I think we should go back. Florianne won't delay her plans at this point. She has to be stopped now... " she stuttered.

  
"Let me help you, Maker knows you can barely stand..." Blackwall sighed, taking a step towards her.

  
"I'm fine!" she snarled, limping away from him, towards the door once more. That she would respond so aggressively conjured images of a wounded animal that acted fierce to frighten would-be predators. It was a reaction based entirely on fear, a false sense of bravado to throw them off.

  
As they reached the door to the ballroom, Yuuki forced herself to stand tall, every step requiring a measure of effort to look as though she were, in fact, fine. Cullen approached her, and she walked past him, meaning to confront the woman right there, the rage building from the attempt on her life. Despite that, she decided to act with diplomacy, finding it the best way to ensure a smooth finish to the night. After a bit of dialoguing, the effort paid off in spades. The gratitude of an entire empire, as well as assurances from both the Empress and her lover that they would aid her cause. When she could, she snuck out to the balcony for a few moments, immediately greeted by the strange woman she had met before. It would seem the Empress bade her to lend her help to her in an advisory capacity, though she didn't seem to be very pleased by the news. Watching her leave, she once more saw Cullen coming towards her, and for a moment, she wondered if he had already heard what had happened. Instead, he seemed to have only words of comfort and to some extent, encouragement, the night ending better than expected, with a dance, based on his remarks, she had to wonder if it was the first time he had ever done so.

  
"As beautiful as it is here, I just want to go home.." she sighed, resting her head on his shoulder for a moment.

  
"I know how you feel. I'd rather be anywhere but here.." a sound reminiscent of mild disgust following his words.

  
She supposed that it might be time to explain everything after all, but that could wait until they returned. No, speaking of it now would only ruin the moment, and for once, it felt perfect, like time had stood still just for them, there was no reason to throw that away.


	26. The Fury's Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki delivers important news, and a solution sees her second guessing everything

Taking a seat, Yuuki looked around the crowded room. She had asked that those closest to her be gathered together for this, since it inevitably affected them as well as herself. Keeping her head back against the chair for support, she took a deep breath.

  
"I... am afraid I have been keeping something from all of you, a matter that I know very well I should have shared, but... I... I couldn't." she said, her voice breaking as she spoke.

  
The very picture, everyone staring fixedly at her made her nervous, and she wanted nothing more strongly than to disappear, to not have to face them like this. The silence was enough to tell her that she had their very rapt attention, wanting to know what was so important that they all needed to gather like this. Turning her gaze to Cid for a moment, knowing he already knew full well what she had to say, as if somehow begging him to intervene. His grim expression told her she was on her own this time, as it should be.  
"I'll... keep it simple. I'm going to die..." she said, folding her hands in her lap, staring intently at the desk in front of her. "I've known that for a few years now, and I didn't... didn't want to worry anyone, so I've just kept it to myself..."

  
A sudden chorus of shocked and almost angry voices, confused and bothered by the news. Thankfully, this time, someone did save her. Josephine managed to quiet the noise, directing the focus back to her.

  
"Mistress Homura, I do believe you owe us the courtesy of a proper explanation..." she said, firm in her tone as though no excuses would be permitted.

  
Hanging her head in shame, she nodded her agreement. "You're right..." she admitted. "Five years past was when the Calamity happened. The destruction, combined with the events I had handled in my own life was too much to bear. I saw the Twelve that day, and I knew they would hear me. I begged, prayed... pleaded for the strength to carry on, my desire to return the world to normalcy was so overwhelming, and I would not be denied my revenge against the Imperials for what they had done. I knew they had not perished in the fall. My prayers were answered, but not in the way I had hoped. Halone listened, but in the weakened state the Twelve were left in after... she was in no position to aid me. In fact, so weakened, I allowed her my own body, my life force and my energy so that she might recover faster. I was chosen to become an avatar of the Fury, at a cost. Her energy is so vast, even without being at full power, and I cannot contain it. The more it surges, the more it hurts me. I wanted to see her rise once more, and at the time, I saw it as the only way. I had already gained Hydaelyn's blessing, so I suppose even without knowing, I was protected from being ripped apart from the inside, or being tempered. As time passed, and she slowly gained her strength, I began to notice that I couldn't keep it in check as well. I felt weakened, more and more drained as time went. After the Winter Palace, I realize she's nearly completed her recovery, and I can hardly bear it. Her fury is my weakness, the stronger she gets, the weaker I will get. When she is well enough, I will die, and I have no solutions for this. I'm sorry..."

  
Leaning back in the chair, she closed her eyes. Wishing she could regret what she had done, the knowledge that even had a second chance to redo things presented itself, repeating the act would always be the choice made. Aside from the whole dying thing, she had never noticed a difference in herself, essentially as she had always been. She gained nothing from harboring the deity, no special power, no enhanced ability, no divine blessing, nothing. At least, not until the Winter Palace, there had been no sign that there was anything unique about the power. Minor pulses at best, a little colder at times, which was no benefit in her mind. Still not up to full strength after the last incident, she stood up, turning to Josephine once more.

  
"I would like to stay a little longer, but right now, I'll only be as a burden to everyone..." she mumbled, supporting herself against the wall as she slowly made her way towards her room. Scarcely had she gotten settled in her bed, then the door opened, and the woman from before approached her.

  
"It's you.." Yuuki said.

  
"Morrigan." she corrected.

  
For some reason, she had been invited to be present, despite hardly knowing her at all. An occult advisor, that's what Leliana had called her, perhaps that was a reason for her being there. Magical knowledge, or some such thing, yet that still wasn't a decent enough reason for the intrusion. Before she could question it, she spoke again.

  
"It may interest you to know that I have some experience, of a sort with these matters. I am willing to share it with you, and you may decide from there if you feel it has merit." she stated, taking a seat on the couch near the stairs. Waving her hand, the door locked, clearly, she didn't want someone intruding on the conversation.

  
"Speak freely then, Morrigan. As hopeless as it might be, I'm willing to entertain it." she answered, getting comfortable.

  
"You no doubt remember my son? I don't wish for this to leave the room. Recall that I told you he was special.." she began, waiting for her word that it would remain between them. When she had it, she continued. "My son was conceived through a ritual, to prevent the necessity of a Warden dying to end the Blight. He has the soul of an Old God. I suspect that if you were to perform a similar act, it might rid you safely of some of this Goddess' energy."

  
Pure speculation, of course. The idea seemed too much for her, even as she briefly considered it. "There's much I don't know about this. I'm not certain it's a good idea. Perhaps you aren't aware, but in my lands, I am still considered a child myself. My people often don't bear children until after their twentieth year..." she said, sighing some.

  
Yet the idea was easier to execute than the one and only idea she had about the situation. That idea might not even work either, for one of a few reasons. The first reason being that she would need to purposely open another rift and hope that it took her back to her own world, so she might go to Ishgard. There alone were the most worshippers of Halone. The second obstacle being the war itself, with Nidhogg threatening to rise at any moment, and resume destruction, the people were frightened, and faith itself tested. If there were not enough fervent believers, her idea would surely fail. Not to mention, it would likely remove any and all free will they had to choose who to worship, sworn forever to Halone. This idea was hardly better, for instance, she was the only of her kind here, and she had never known there to be half-Auri people. Even above herself, she didn't think it was appropriate to push that kind of responsibility on anyone. Lastly that even without Halone, there was always a chance she could die, her line of work often resulting in a severely shortened lifespan. Many times more than she could count had she seen adventurers barely older than her meet their untimely deaths to threats she considered minor. Hydaelyn herself couldn't help with this either, with the Ascian threat still looming large, she had given a large portion of her light to her already to combat the darkness. Any further assistance would surely spell doom for Eorzea, and that was not an option.

  
"I can understand your hesitation, and yet if you do decide it is an option, you would only require enough energy to handle a simple spell, and of course...I'm sure you have an idea where I'm going with this. It would be a simple matter; You need only let me know." she said, standing up to excuse herself.

  
Looking up, she asked one last question. "Your son... does he suffer?"

  
Morrigan smiled at this, genuine in nature. "No, you've met him once, he's a fine young man, not the kind of child one might otherwise revile if they knew." she said, waving her hand once more to unlock the door as she left.

  
Hearing footsteps approaching, she frowned. Instinct alone had told her to expect this, knowing exactly who it was without a need to look. She moved over a bit in anticipation. Looking out the windows out to the balcony to avoid the pain of having to look at him, she felt him sit beside her.

  
"I knew you would come. We should talk..." she whispered.

  
"Why couldn't you tell me? You knew, this whole time and it never occurred to you that maybe I should know?" he questioned, he spoke quietly, which made the underlying anger that much more frightening.

  
"I screwed up... without meaning to, I allowed myself to feel for you, and by the time I had thought to tell you, I... couldn't..." she admitted. "It would be best for you if you let me go now, I never meant to hurt you..."

  
He reached down, his hand resting on her cheek, directing her to look at him, even as she tried not to. She expected an angry expression, and yet, there was only sadness.

  
"You think it's that easy? I can't just give up on you like that. I won't let you go..." he said, eyes fixed intently on hers.

  
"I don't deserve you, not like this..." she said, wincing slightly.

  
"You really don't know me very well... " he started "If I have to lose you, let it be to the passing of time, not to this. There's always a way, you know that better than anyone, we'll find it."

  
How he always knew just the right things to say was ever a mystery, finding herself feeling a sense of hope that hadn't been there for some time. As often as people had attributed their salvation to her actions, she couldn't -- wouldn't forget that she was never alone. Her attention drawn to the portrait on the wall, a silent dialogue between her and her lost friend going on in her mind. He had such hope for her, a strong belief that anything was possible with her around, and she owed it to his memory to stop holding back. Smiling then, she moved to sit up, albeit slowly.

  
"Thank you...for this, I mean. You've ever been at my side, and no matter what I've been thrown into, you've never once wavered, never failed me. I won't fail you now, you have my word." she said.

  
Cullen looked up at the painting that had previously held her focus. Certainly, he had something to do with this change in her, and despite never knowing him, he found himself grateful. Resting his hand on her side for a moment, a bit serious in his overall attitude suddenly.

  
"I don't want you to keep anymore secrets, not from me, at least... " he said, watching her when he fell silent.

  
Twisting a strand of her hair to distract herself, she nodded. "I'll work on it, though I still feel some things shouldn't be said."

  
Referencing the conversation she had just had with the mage, she had no strong desire to bring it up. She was certain it was probably a form of blood magic, something he was inherently against, and she had no desire to make him consider it simply because it might help. She wasn't even prepared to offer it serious consideration unless she was sure there were no other options, and truthfully, at this point, she had to believe that there were more options, things she might not have even thought of. A fine place to start might be by speaking with Urianger, he knew much about a number of things, surely even if he didn't know, he would possibly have a suggestion to offer. Yuuki glanced up again when she noticed him moving.

"I... would prefer to stay here with you tonight. I want to make sure you'll be alright..." he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck.

  
Despite the number of times they had shared a bed, aside from the one night at her own home, neither had stayed overnight in the other's room. It was a bit strange, truthfully, but not altogether unwelcome.

  
"I'd like that..." she said, shy in appearance as she thought about it. Despite everything, there still seemed to be a hint of innocence to her that was pure and incorruptible as it were.

  
"I should get back to my duties... I'll return later tonight. Though I might stress that if you need anything that you not hesitate to let someone know..." he said, a hint of a lecture wrapped in the sentiment.

  
As much as she wanted to return to work as well, the realization that she couldn't wrangle the energy to get up and wander around hit her, knowing she would likely be stuck resting for the remainder of the day. From here, there wasn't much she could do, but with luck, the next day would be better, enough for her to take a walk, clear her head, be alone for once. Not that she had a strong desire to be alone all the time, just that sometimes it was nice to have the option, time to simply exist in the world, with no one to interrupt her was a rare thing. After dropping such heavy news on everyone, instead of feeling better for getting it off her chest, she felt worse, and the chance to reflect on it could help. Meditating on the issue at hand might even yield some inspiration for how to solve the problem. Glancing up, she hadn't realized he had left already. Though the sound of more footsteps meant she was about to get more company. Truthfully, she didn't mind it now, what else was she supposed to do, sit and wallow in self-pity?

  
Lots of mages today, it seemed. This time, it was Dorian. Striding over, he set a bottle down on the bedside table. "Well, are you going to move over or will I have to sit on you?" he asked.

  
Taken aback by the comment, she quietly moved over a little more. Sitting next to her, he gestured to the wine he had procured. Seeing no glasses around, he shrugged, handing it to her. "News like that, I think calls for a drink. Some of my best personal stock, so I do hope you appreciate it." he said.

  
Not taking much time to consider the offer, she took a drink, handing it back to him, clearly confused. "So we're besties now, are we? Not that I'm complaining, I just assumed you didn't have much to say to me." she admitted.

  
Taking a drink, he seemed to consider what to say to it, before handing it back to her. "I've told you before I consider you one of my very few friends, and considering Felix passed some time ago, I suppose by default that would make you my "bestie" so to speak. In truth, I imagine a burden like this is weighing on your mind, and what better to cure what ails you than strong drinks and a little conversation?"

  
"Well, if we need a topic, let me just start by saying, that outfit does very little for you. Trust me, I can work wonders with leather and cloth, and that is... just... so unflattering." she said, shaking her head.

  
"This was tailored specifically for me, by one of the finest craftsmen in Tevinter, I'll have you know..." he grumbled.

  
Yuuki grinned at the disappointment she perceived. "Fire him... though when you say conversation, I imagine you had something else in mind, so let's hear it."

  
"I could bore you to death with talk of my homeland, but I believe we've covered everything on that. I want to know what passes for gossip where you're from." he said.

  
Turning slightly, on her side, she thought about it for a bit. "Even knowing it won't make much sense? Well, alright... let's see...Some say they've seen the ghost of a failed healer named Edda in all three of the city-states, I heard that even some of the Wood Wailers were frightened. Word is, if you go out just before dawn with naught but a candle and whisper 'Avere' three times, she'll show up, holding his bloody head, laughing. Then there's the matter of the mysterious donations pouring into the coffers of a certain member of House Dzemael... no one can explain what reason someone might have for the large amounts flowing in, and yet they were already fairly wealthy to start with. It just screams shady business..." she told him, the stories taking her mind off of things.

  
It was well after dark, and only when Cullen had returned, as he said he would, that Dorian took his leave. Almost miraculous how a bit of conversation had completely made her forget the way she had been feeling. Aside from a few strange questions, it had seemed fairly ordinary.

  
"I meant to ask how you're feeling, but by the look on your face, I'd say better than you were. " he commented.

  
"My night is much better now that you're here." she said, being honest, as he had asked.

  
It seemed to catch him off guard. Not usually one to say things like that, it was as if he had no idea how to react to it. "I take it you missed me?"

  
Nodding to this, she reached for his hand, pulling him down next to her. Standing like he had been seemed too casual. No, if he was here for the night, she wanted him to relax. He gave in, stretching out next to her, drawing her closer with a slight pull. "I did. I'm glad you're here... it means I don't have to share your attention with anyone else..." she sighed.  
There it was, now he knew what was off. It seemed she was a bit tipsy, though he couldn't tell if the things she said were because it was what she really felt, or if it was the wine talking. "Ah. Alright love, maybe you should get some rest..." he suggested, not entirely without sympathy.

  
"I mean it. I didn't tell you, I thought it was stupid, but seeing so many people after you, it made me jealous..." she told him, frowning a little.

  
Perhaps she was serious then, though drinking probably helped some to put her at ease enough to admit to it. The girl was always so guarded and wasn't given to talk openly like this. "Trust me, you have nothing to be concerned about. It was one big headache, and had you not been there, I would say the whole evening was terrible. You made it tolerable..."

  
That she was jealous at all was relatively flattering. In a way, it said she cared enough about him to be concerned. It was as good as he might expect from her. Understandably, she hadn't been very open about  the way she felt towards him, but not everything needed to be said. The way she expressed her love was more nested in action than anything. He recalled many times, so many small gestures of affection. Yet he could count the number of times she actually said she loved him on one hand. Looking over to her after a time, realizing she hadn't answered him, noticing she had dozed off resting comfortably against his shoulder. He pulled the blankets up around her, returning to his own thoughts, not yet tired enough to sleep. Probably the best thing for her right now, and for him as well. Though the events of the day had his stomach in knots, and he wasn't even sure if he could drift off even if he wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, I had doubts about this chapter, going back and forth on whether I should post it or if I should scrap it and start over. Then I had some inspiration, and now I have plans for this, so it's staying..


	27. Frozen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki sneaks off to think, and meets a familiar face in the cold.

This may have been a worse idea than she imagined. The first mistake was sneaking out in the first place, without telling anyone. Then there was a lingering pain, she hadn't recovered as much as she hoped. She had even snuck out before Cullen woke up, meaning _if_ she found her way back, she was probably in trouble. At least she would be alone with her thoughts, which was something. Her legs felt stiff, hard to move like this. Spying a flat, broad rock jutting through the snow, she took a seat. Everything was cold, certainly, but barely a concern presently. Her eyes turned towards the sky, watching the clouds slowly rolling by.

"Kaien... what would you have done in my place?" she asked, seemingly to thin air.

Dialoguing with her brother was something she used to do a lot, yet in the last years it had all but stopped. She always imagined what he might say, the conversations always progressed. He would be right there, tall and imposing in his figure, prodding her brow firmly.

"I wouldn't give up like this. I'd do whatever it takes." he would say, before crossing his arms.

"Of course you wouldn't... but I'm not you... I don't know what to do now." she sighed, clumsily pushing back her bangs.

"Do whatever it takes, you, above all, must live...must carry on the family legacy." he'd tell her.

His advice was fine, but it would have conflicted with what Yuji would have told her.

"Stay like this. Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, Sis."

Yuuki felt like she had lost all chance to grow up normally the day she lost everything. Barely able to recall exactly how she had spent her days before. Maybe she had spent her days chasing butterflies, or sneaking to the lake to swim, but she saw it as a dream now. It may have been a dream, thinking about it now. Some small sense of false happiness she clung to as a means to drown out the constant pain of loss. On the subject of pain, she realized it had spread, no longer confined to her legs. It crept through her veins, her nerves, her bones. An ache which was steadily becoming unbearable. Lying back along the cold stone, a small whimper escaped, hoping it might subside this way.

* * *

  
Back at Skyhold, people had begun to notice her absence. The gathered group assembling in the yard, a tense energy in the air.

"Did you find anything?" Leliana asked.

"Only that she left early this morning, the gate guards reported she exited by herself. Seemed to be heading North, beyond that, there has been nothing." A scout reported.

"What in the seventh hell is that girl thinking?" Cid questioned, shaking his head.

"She's not in any condition to be out there right now... I heard a storm was coming, she'll be trapped out there..." Josephine added, worry distorting her features.

An angry looking Cullen strode out to join them, having overheard bits of the conversation. "Leliana, get your best tracker, even in her condition, we can't say for sure how far she might have gotten. If we move on this now, there's a chance there's a trail to follow. Once that storm hits, there won't be a thing left to track her movements by." he barked, arms crossing in irritation.

She didn't like being ordered about like this, but he was right. Turning to face the scout, she nodded. "Get him, send him out there. Tell him to find her at any cost." she instructed.

* * *

  
Long past thinking about what could have been, she curled tightly against herself. Despite the pain, she was beginning to feel colder. Combining Halone's frosted energy and the temperature around overcame her natural heat. Dressing warmly hadn't even crossed her mind, and now regret was the response.

'Haha, I suppose the silver lining here is that if I die from exposure, I won't need to worry about what to do...' she thought bitterly.

Dying out here, alone, was not in her plans. Biting back the agony, she forced herself to stand. There was no choice but to try and find her way now. White, everywhere, everything blanketed in snow meant she had no idea which way to go. Nothing looked familiar. Heaving a deep sigh, she hung her head as she took a few leaden steps. Her legs might as well have been stone with the rigid way they moved. Not more than a few fulms from where she had been, she stopped again. Had she heard something or was it her mind playing tricks on her? The steady crunching sounds of trampled snow confirmed it. Gripping her polearm, she took a deep breath, turning slowly. A small group had found her, hostile by the way they held their weapons. Not in any condition to fight, yet there wasn't a choice anymore. Even before they could approach any closer, a shock of pain tore through her again. Twisting spires of ice bursting through around her, as if protecting her. It hadn't even given the group pause, busying themselves with trying to cut through the ice. It held fast, hard to damage, but the cost was high. Every passing second draining more and more of her energy. Labored breathing an indicator she couldn't possibly last much longer. Darkness clouded her vision, unable to stand a moment longer, she hit the ground.

'So this is it. I die right here... ' she thought.

The sounds of fast footsteps caught her attention. Heavy crunching thuds meant her would-be attackers had dropped. Seeking out the source, she could see nothing.

Looking at her, she looked like frozen hell. Lips paling visibly, lines of ice forming along her skin, along her face, like spidery veins. Shaking his head, he quickly broke through the icy barrier, bending to pick her up.

"This isn't exactly how I wanted to find you..." a voice said.

Too distorted to figure out who was holding her. Her eyes were all but white as she stared at him, frightened as she gripped his arms.

"Shh. It's okay. It's Thancred, and I'm damn glad I found you when I did..." he told her, shaking his head.

* * *

  
Sitting up, she cradled her head. It seemed she was back at Skyhold, but how she got there was blurry. Every inch of her body hurt, but she was warm now.

"You're awake, good... can you see?" the voice from before asked.

Seeking the source of the sound, her eyes fell on Thancred. It hadn't been a dream after all, he was actually there.

"Yeah... I'm good... how long have I been out?" she asked.

"Three days." Cullen said.

Three days? No, far too long. Things were getting worse, and quickly. If there was an answer, it had to be found soon.

"I heard about your little announcement. I'm honestly not surprised you didn't tell me. After all the times I've let you down..." he said, shaking his head.

Struggling to sit, she directed her focus to her hands. "That's in the past, I don't hold those things against you. I thought I made that clear." she told him, almost demanding in her tone.

He looked to Cullen for a moment, noticing the look of confusion. "I first failed her when she took on the Lord of the Inferno, Ifrit. I meant to catch up with her in time to help. When I arrived, the fight was already over. Again, I failed her, I overworked myself. Ended up possessed by Lahabrea, an Ascian. Because of that, they were able to find the Scion base, and many had died off. The last time, I hear she believed me dead. Found me in the wilderness. Through all this time, she's never once blamed me, never treated me unkindly. That's why I followed. I promised myself I wouldn't fail her again. "

Cullen smirked, looking at her after a moment. "She's got a good heart. Regardless of what shortcomings people have had, she's never held it against them. You would think she'd be hostile after being held prisoner. No, she went about things with a smile and did her best to help where she could."

"Please... I don't deserve such kind words..." she sighed, turning onto her side.

Thancred heaved a sigh, staring at the floor. "I... didn't want to be the one to point this out. Those tempered by Ifrit had to die. You remember that much, while this is hardly the same, I told you there was no way to fix it..."

This was a problem. She had completely forgotten about it. Summoned by fervor alone, or forcing it out of her were out of the question. Morrigan's suggestion was starting to seem less crazy with each passing moment. The main problem to this was the time it would take. Comparing Auri people to humans was easy, a third of the time it took. Yet even so, three months was beginning to seem far less likely. There was no way she knew of to halt the progression of her recovery.

"If there were a way to slow this down..." she started. "I may know of a way, but it makes little to no difference without the time I need."

Cullen took Thancred off to the side, a question on his mind. "Is this some kind of magic?"

"In a sense, it is. Why do you ask?" he asked.

"We have a few people here with the skill to supress magic. It would require someone able to recognize the signs and stop them then. " he said.

Turning back to her, knowing she had heard, her shrugged a shoulder. "What do you think?"

"At this point... I'll try anything..." she answered weakly.

Almost anything. How was she even supposed to broach _that_ subject?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That went well..
> 
> On a different note, I actually did some research, weirdly, most sources seem to agree the gestation of a dragon is about three months. While she isn't actually a dragon, I used it anyway as a frame of reference.


	28. Tarantella

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having less time than she imagined, a choice is made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tarantella: A dance in 6/8 metre of some rapidity

Draping her tail across her lap, she sighed. Thankfully, she had been left alone with Thancred. Despite everything, she trusted him to know the right thing to do. The time to talk it over had come.

"What's on your mind?" he asked, stretching out on the couch.

She leaned back, staring at the blanket. The words she searched for hard to find.

"I... there may be a way to fix this. I just... I don't know what to do." she lamented quietly.

"I'm willing to listen, whatever it is. I might even be able to help." he stated, turning in place to face her.

Well, it was now even more awkward. "Help" being the word making her nervous. What he might think of her for such an unusual idea was worrisome too.

"There's... a thing... a magic thing. Ritual, that was the word. It's... no guarantee...but..." she stopped, shaking her head as if unable to continue.

"Well, a ritual. That's not ominous in the least. Anyway, continue. " he instructed, one visible eye fixed on her.

Clearing her throat, she pulled the blanket up to her neck. A picture of vulnerability and nerves at the moment. "I... would have to sleep with someone. A child, I guess, being the vessel for the excess energy." she grunted bluntly, tiring herself out by being so vague.

Thancred's expression became one of surprise. Realizing why she seemed so tense suddenly made sense. Yuuki had a fondness for children, he had seen it before, and the stories had reached him from all over. The idea of using one in this way was likely the reason for her hesitation. He hated encouraging the idea, but if it would save her life...

"I... I see. Believe me, your concern is reasonable. You need to be a little selfish from time to time. If there's even a chance that this could keep you alive, isn't it worth it?" his words meant to provoke thought.

"I know you're absolutely right, but... I couldn't ask him to do that... It's against everything he stands for, I'm almost certain." she mumbled, turning away from him.

So the bodyguard was actually "guarding her body" so to speak. Probably not the best idea to have made that comment back then after all. The man seemed reasonable, and he was certain if he actually cared he would easily set aside his reservations. The way she acted told him he didn't even know about it. Stubborn was not a strong enough word to describe her. Her way was to hold in the things she thought would hurt or otherwise inconvenience others. In this case, he would take it upon himself to tell him, someone had to.

"If you're so convinced he won't, then I suppose there's little choice." he said.

Pushing herself to sit up, she turned to face him. Was she... glaring at him? Actually glaring, or it could be he had confused her so much. "What are you saying?" she hissed.

"I'm saying if he won't, I will." he sighed.

Sure, she was beautiful, but even he had never imagined this. This was a strange prospect, one he was struggling to process. He was far from innocent, the same could not be said about her, and the idea of somehow spoiling that was almost too much. It wouldn't be appropriate to withdraw the offer, not after he had already swore to do whatever it took. The one thing saving him was knowing that she didn't appear to be lending it much thought.

"I... okay." she answered.

Gods, why did she have to be so agreeable? He expected her to argue, maybe yell at him a little. Tell him what an ass he was for even suggesting it. She had to be truly terrified, that was the only explanation that made sense. He knew very well that desperate people did desperate things. The look on her face reflected a kind of sadness he had never seen, and it actually hurt. Standing quickly, he excused himself, unable to deal with it even a moment longer. No, what he needed to do now was help her in a different way. Find Cullen and explain everything to him, even if he was as against it as she insisted. It was bad practice to keep it to herself and take the choice away from him. He wasn't as directionally challenged as she was, when it came to this place. One tour had been enough to make the layout stick. Bursting through the door to his office, he frowned. It seemed he was in the middle of some manner of business.

"I'll speak with you shortly." he stated, resuming his directives.

"Forgive my boldness, but I think this is a matter you might find important." he insisted.

Pressing his fingers to his brow, he waved a hand. "Very well. Dismissed!" he ordered, waiting until they had left. "This had better be as important as you say."

Thancred relayed what she had told him, offering as much detail as she had been willing to spare. Cullen had a grim look about him, yet what he was thinking about remained a mystery. Pressing his hands to the desk, he cringed, speaking after a short time.

"I... regret to say she's right. That sounds like blood magic, and I can't... I can't bring myself to get involved in something I worked so hard to stop. Believe me, I don't want her to die either, but there has to be another way." he sighed, hanging his head.

Unbelievable. After everything, he was giving up just like that. He made no attempt to hide his anger. Turning to leave, he gripped the edge of the door, stopping. "I have no such hold ups. Two worlds rely on her survival, and I swore I wouldn't let her down again. I hope your conscience is clear enough to live with this. Tell me... how forgiving do you think even she is?" he growled, slamming the door on the way out.

He was right. For someone who claimed to love her, letting her down like this seemed entirely cold and unforgivable. He wanted to say he would do anything for her, and yet, this was still too much. He slammed his fist on the desk, closing his eyes. What exactly was he supposed to do now?

* * *

  
She sat up, hearing the door slam. Thancred dashed up the steps, stopping at the edge of the bed. Staring down at her, he frowned.

"Make the arrangements. I'd rather not waste anymore of what little time you have." he stated, scraping his fingers through his hair.

Yuuki wasn't sure what happened to put him in this kind of foul mood, but it was obvious that he was no longer uncertain about this. Struggling to stand, supporting herself wherever she could, she made her way down the steps. Not a great idea considering her weakened state. There wasn't exactly a wealth of options, however, since she had kept her word and told no one where the idea came from. Arriving in the garden in roughly four times as long as it usually took, she leaned back against a portion of wall, gasping for air. Morrigan took note of her presence, approaching her cautiously.

"It's getting worse. I no longer have the time I thought I had..." she said, keeping her voice as quiet as possible.

"Am I to understand you've made your choice then?" she asked.

The apostate watched her for a few moments, wondering briefly what she might have been like at the pinnacle of her strength. A force to be reckoned with, one might assume, else how would she have come this far.

"I have, however reluctantly it might be." she answered, holding her arm.

"Very well then. I must ask, do you believe you possess enough magical strength to manage this?" she questioned.

If she couldn't manage enough energy for the task, it wouldn't be possible. Yuuki reached down, opening her bag, pulling out a clear vial. She smiled weakly, nodding a bit.

"I'm good. I spent plenty of time making these. Meant to sell them, but let's face it, if I die here, I'll never get home to do that." she said with a slight chuckle.

"Is that... lyrium?" she asked with no small amount of curiosity.

"No, it's... similar, I suppose. It's ether. I'll spare you the details of what goes into it..." she replied. "You're supposed to wait a minute between doses, but ether madness doesn't concern me."

"I wouldn't push yourself in that way. I'll follow you back to the room, I can explain when we get there. It's just a simple spell to make sure the...effort...takes. Not exactly the same as what I did, of course." she said.

The very thought of doing this was making her uncomfortable, the knowledge that there was no other option the one thing keeping her from running -- hobbling away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be NSFW. Just a head's up. 
> 
> Plot-based, so skip at your own discretion.


	29. Tango

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The basis for the beginning of this chapter was entirely based around 'El Tango de Roxanne' from Moulin Rouge.

Cullen sat back at his desk, burying his face in his hands. He felt like he was going mad, jealous anger building in the center of his chest, burning. The thoughts filling his mind were almost too much to bear, and he only blamed himself. Even if she wouldn't admit it, he knew she was afraid to die. The man had a point as well, without this, two entire worlds could perish, she was needed. He loved her, and yet he couldn't bring himself to do this one thing for her. Leaving her alone with him was more than he could stand. Torment in the form of mental images of what he could be doing to her was his punishment. His unmasked eye fixated upon her, hungry, prowling. His hands holding her arms above her head, lips pressed along her body, tasting what was never meant for him. Cullen knew very well she didn't want this, hadn't wanted him, and yet he had given her no choice. Forced into his arms, the idea that she might even enjoy it was killing him. He gripped the edge of the desk, shouting as he swept everything onto the floor. Punching a balled fist against the surface, he stood, throwing his chair at the door. He couldn't stop thinking about it, about her. In his rage, he toppled the bookshelves, chest heaving as he came to a stop in front of the window. No, this wasn't right, if he just...

  
' _It may not be too late_...' echoed through his mind.

  
Stopping it meant one of two things: consign her to her death, or take his place. The choice should have been easy, and yet going against what he believed in felt like everything he worked for until this point had no meaning. That man's reputation was no secret, and the idea that he might use her and throw her away was infuriating. He didn't love her, and letting him touch her for any reason was wrong.

  
_His lips pressed against her neck, buried inside her. Holding her down while he invaded her, defiling her._

  
No, he had to hope it wasn't too late. Stepping over the heaps of scattered tomes, he left his office. It felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest, and he could take no more.

* * *

  
This wasn't at all like usual. He had certainly _tried_ to picture this before, but the moment he moved beyond kissing, it was like a wall. She was too pure, too good, and he was never meant to ruin her. Left with no other choice, he knew she didn't want this, could sense how wrong it was. Since this had to happen, the least he could do was see that it was as pleasant as he could make it for her. He sighed, pulling at the edges of her blouse, kissing her neck slowly. Pushing it back from her shoulders, he tossed it to the side, moving slowly down, along her shoulders. Unhooking her bra, he dropped it off the edge of the bed. This should have been easier, she was gorgeous, and warm, the kind of women any man would be lucky to have. Knowing she didn't want him made it feel even worse. Lower then, mouth closing around her nipple, tongue tracing wet circles around it as his hand slid further down, pushing her shorts down, her panties following soon after. He couldn't bring himself to look, unwilling to make things more uncomfortable for her. His fingers grazed between her thighs, gently, slowly, even that much causing him anxiety, he feared hurting her, making her hate him. Every muscle in her body was tensed, and despite her soft moan, he knew it wasn't for him, but a simple reaction. He shifted slightly, resting against her, allowing her to feel his full weight like this, still unsure about going further.

  
' _Twelve, save me_.. ' he thought to himself.

  
He knew this was meant to save her, a worthy cause no matter which angle it was viewed from. Still, he couldn't help but think he was earning his place in the seventh hell for this. Grasping her hand loosely, looking at her, he pulled back slightly, not quite stopping, though he slowed some. 

  
"I'm sorry... I know how you must feel." he sighed.

  
Rolling slightly onto his side, he let go of her hand, loosing the strings at the front of his pants. She glanced down nervously, noticing the way they slid down his hips just a little. It was at least, something, refusing to so much as look at him this whole time, at least, even accidental, there had been some kind of response. Hesitantly, her fingers brushed through his hair, vaguely interested in the way it draped over his shoulder. Longer than she remembered it being. Resigning herself to make whatever small effort she could manage. Soft fingers trailing along his cheek, over his chin, and down his neck. Gentle, almost like he might break, he couldn't deny the feeling was good. The door flew open, and the sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs echoed. Stopping at the top, he glared in Thancred's direction, the sound of his voice harsh, and angry.

  
"You, get out. I don't like sharing.." he growled.

  
'Thank the gods..' he thought, pulling away from her,  tying the strings on his pants as he hurried out. Turning his head just enough to watch him leave, he waited until the door closed to approach. It hadn't been too late after all, though any longer might have had a different result. In an effort to fend off any doubt, prevent any questions, he took a deep breath, undressing slowly. When the last of his clothes hit the floor, he crawled in beside her, brushing his hand against her cheek, guilt written on his face.

  
"I've been a fool... " he whispered, drawing her closer to him.

  
She quickly denied it, knowing how he felt about this. It wasn't foolish, it seemed the wise thing to want nothing to do with it. Cullen felt the lingering sting of jealousy still, though it had lessened some.

  
"Tell me you're all mine..." he said, cleverly masking a more vulnerable side of himself.

  
Leaning in, her breath warm against his ear as she spoke, fingertips dancing along his side. "I'm all yours...only yours. " the words almost like a divine invocation to him.

  
This close, nothing escaped his notice. The soft scent of lavender he had grown fond of, the sweet pink tint to her lips, and the warmth of her skin against his, intoxicating in a sense. Turning his head slightly to the side, he kissed her, eyes sliding shut as he lost himself in the feeling. More than anything, this is what he liked the most, her response like second nature by now. She settled her hands on his shoulders, holding onto him loosely. Reaching between them, his fingers pressed against her, probing slowly back and forth a few times before slipping in. Dire situation or not, he saw no reason to rush through things, she was worth more than that. Thinking about it logically, this was something they had done before, nothing new about it. Only the use of magic not her own had made it different, frighteningly so, that one thing, and she was no blood mage, not even sure if her world had an equivalent. A quiet gasp escaped, swallowed between them, his tongue brushing against hers slowly. Their was something mildly exciting about such a simple act, about the sweet taste. Cullen broke away, trailing down to her neck, bringing his hand away from her.

  
Positioning himself between her legs, he felt her wrap them around his. She might not have been the most verbal person on the subject, but the subtle cues were more than enough. Even as he wanted to take his time, it was evident Yuuki didn't feel like waiting any longer. She pressed herself against him, face flushing with embarrassment. Resting against her, he bit lovingly at her neck and shoulders, her body swaying underneath him. This was a dance meant only for them, and he intended to keep it that way. Ever a fast study, she wrangled up the will to counter him, rocking against him faster. Her gasping cries louder now, certainly unusual, but not unwelcome. Trembling, her nails scraping urgently at the sheets as if pleading for more. Though he couldn't quite place it, there was something different about her. Eager, or perhaps more passionate than usual, whatever it was, he approved.

  
She seemed to want to speak, but words failed her, whether she couldn't think or couldn't bring herself to was up for debate. Guessing her intent, he ground into her harder, the signs that she was very near her limit emerging. The rapid rise and fall of her chest was difficult to look away from, lifting into him, her head tipped back against the pillow. He wouldn't be able to hold much longer, every muscle straining and tightening. Bringing his head to rest against her chest, panting warmly over her, spilling into her. A shaking hand reached up, threading through his hair while he rested. Cullen closed his eyes once more, somehow soothed by her presence. It was hard to admit that he felt safe like this, after all, he had wanted to be the one she turned to for that feeling. Yuuki spoke after a short time, resting her hands between his shoulders.

  
"I..." she began, irritated with herself for the sudden nervousness that overcame her. "I love you."

  
An uncontrollable grin spread across his face then. "I love you too."

  
The full implication of what had just happened finally hitting her, she took a deep breath.

  
' _Gods forgive me, what the hell have I done_..' she thought to herself, eyes drawn to the portrait on the wall. ' _It's too soon to join you, my friend. I still have so much to do_...'


	30. Valentione's Day Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wedge makes it his personal mission to make sure Yuuki gets the Valentione's Day she deserves. Cullen gets kidnapped to learn the right way to romance a lady.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little Valentine's Day fluff. Now with a 65% chance of giving you a cavity!

Cullen stood in the yard, overseeing the recruits while they trained. Palming his face, he groaned in irritation, this group barely knew which end was supposed to be up. That was to say nothing of what else was on his mind. Understandably, Yuuki had been in a subdued mood lately, but today especially, she had been very quiet. Wedge walked over, watching quietly, hands clasped together behind his head. Glancing down at him for a moment, he wondered if he had something to say or if he was just looking for something to do.

  
"Taking a break.. uh.. Wedge, right?" he asked.

  
He nodded, beaming happily at the recognition. "The Chief gave me the day off. " he said.

  
Willing to admit he barely knew Cid, but the man had never taken a day off since he had arrived, and neither had his associates. There had to be a reason, some matter of critical importance, probably.

  
"Any reason in particular, or is he just in a good mood?" he questioned, not concerned with the distraction, the trainees getting on his nerves.

  
"You mean you don't know what today is?!" disbelief obvious in his voice.

  
He raised a hand casually. "Sunday?" he guessed. Not exactly wrong, but that didn't seem to be it.

  
Wedge shook his head, frowning. "It's Valentione's Day.. " he answered almost dejectedly.

  
Resting his hands on his sword, he shrugged. "I have no idea what that means." he admitted.

  
"It's the holiday of love! It's a celebration meant for lovers, or in the case of those like me, without a special someone, a day to display courage over the fear of rejection. I have plans later, but.. I.. well, I'm working up my courage .." he explained.

  
Cullen seemed to be considering this, raking his fingers through his hair as he realized it. Yuuki was probably bothered that he didn't realize it was a special day. Granted, she probably hadn't expected much from him, since he wasn't familiar with Eorzean custom. Wedge tugged on his sleeve, a sly grin on his face.

  
"You should get something for the Lady.." he suggested.

  
It was an idea worth considering, but he honestly didn't know where to begin. He knew very little about her interests now that he thought about it.

  
"Menphina's sake, you're _hopeless_! I can help.." he sighed, tapping his chin for a moment. "That's right. Thancred spent a lot of time in Ul'dah, maybe he has some.." he thought out loud.

  
Cullen cringed at the mention of his name. The very thought of asking him for anything bothered him more than it should have. Seeing the reaction, he shook his head.

  
"I got this. I'll meet you here in awhile.. " he said, dashing off before he had a chance to say anything.

 

* * *

  
This was too painful, he needed to take a break before he allowed himself to get too frustrated. Walking across the yard, he felt something grip his wrists, throwing something over his head. Being dragged somewhere, but where, and by who? Tossed into a chair, he grunted at the landing, the sudden light hurting his eyes until they adjusted. Andraste preserve him, he was surrounded by almost everyone, and he had no idea why.

  
"Sorry about the rough treatment, but we knew you weren't about to come willingly." he heard.

  
"What is all this?" he growled irritably.

  
Cassandra folded her arms across, shaking her head. "We've been called to give you a first class lesson in women, Commander." she replied, her tone indicating she likely hadn't meant to show up either.

  
Focusing on the door, he noticed it was blocked. This was some kind of trap, and he gathered that unless he participated in this ridiculous scheme, he wouldn't be allowed to leave. 

* * *

  
Yuuki looked out the window to the balcony, it was getting late. Glancing down at the neatly decorated box in front of her, she sighed. Perhaps she had gotten her hopes up for no reason after all, no one here had seemed to notice there was anything unusual about the day, it was possible that they didn't celebrate it here. The last thing she wanted was to get back in bed to rest, but the options were limited, and she really didn't feel like being around a lot of people. Depositing the box on her desk, she crawled into bed, burying her face in the pillow with a sigh. At the very least, she expected someone to stop by and at least talk for a bit. It was beginning to feel like if her condition didn't kill her, boredom surely would.

  
Hearing the door open, she rolled over, sitting up slowly. It took a little time before she could see who it was, hiding a slight smile when she saw Cullen rounding the top of the stairs. It was strange to see him like this, dressed in that awful formal suit from their trip to the Winter Palace. He had his hands behind his back, which struck her immediately as odd. Walking closer, he sat at the edge of the bed, blushing nervously. He pulled his hands out from behind him, full of Althyk Lavendar in one hand, and a small box in the other. Holding them out, she accepted the gifts, biting her lip shyly. His focus was on the box, as if silently asking her to open it. Curiosity getting the better of her, she took the top off. A pair of rubellite earrings, handmade by the looks of it. Glancing at his hands, she noticed a few small burns and cuts. Those were the hallmarks of someone who had sustained injuries crafting, in the early stages of learning goldsmithing, she had bore marks like those for months.

  
Pressing a finger to her lips before she could say anything, he stood once more, coming around to the other side, bowing slightly, extending his hand to her. Clearly embarrassed, recalling the earlier events, he cleared his throat, speaking finally.

  
"Darling, would you care to dance?" he asked.

  
It sounded strange to him, but Varric and Cassandra had been adamant in insisting she would like it, and that he _must_ say it with conviction and be charming. It felt like a wave of relief washed over him when she held his hand, pushing herself to stand. Leading her out to the balcony, he brought his arm around her waist, keeping a slow pace so as to not hurt her. The idea to come outside had, as much as he hated to admit it, came from Thancred, who insisted she loved to look at the stars. laying her head gently against his shoulder, closing her eyes as she followed his lead, she spoke quietly.

  
"I.. have something for you too, whenever you have the time.." she cooed.

  
That she went out of her way to get him something with no promise that he would have anything with her impressed him, at least a little. Truly, he felt like he didn't deserve her, but more than that, he couldn't picture letting her get away. Yuuki lost track of how long they had been there, perhaps it had only been minutes, or maybe they had been there forever. All she was sure of was that he had to be the sweetest guy she had ever met. Slowing to a stop, he bent down, giving her a quick, yet passionate kiss. Maybe he was crazy, or it could be the atmosphere, but the thought hadn't gone away. His lips barely touching hers, softly spoken words vibrating against her lips.

  
"Hey.." he began, as if giving it one last consideration before continuing. "..Let's get married.."

  
She looked away, and for a few agonizing moments, he thought for sure she would say no.

  
"If you're really sure, then I absolutely will! ..it's just.." she sighed.

  
Of course she was concerned, and he knew exactly why. Even after what had happened, there was no guarantee she would make it.

  
"I understand.. why wait?" he said, grinning sheepishly as he swept her into his arms.

  
Carrying her back in, he set her gently back in bed so she could relax. Yuuki gestured to the package on the desk. "For you.. I.. hope you like it.." she said.

  
Cullen took the few steps to the desk, picking it up. There was no hint as to the contents, his interest piqued as he tugged the ribbon away. Taking the top off, there was a varied selection of adorably decorated chocolates inside. He looked to her briefly, before turning his attention back to the sweets. It wasn't entirely surprising, given her affinity for sugary things. Picking one out, he didn't question it, though in an instant, he wished he had. It was sweet, and yet spicy, with a hint of something rich he couldn't identify. She held up her hands nervously, as if remembering an important detail.

  
"Ahh! Don't.. don't eat too many at once. They've got liqueur in them.. " she stressed, biting her lip.

  
That was what he was tasting. A shame, since it was actually very good. Reminiscent of how he felt about her, in fact. Sweet, with an underlying heat to her, and then the effort it took not to overindulge. A thought occurred to him, critical, to assure he didn't get himself into a situation he hadn't expected.

  
"I should ask you, your.. people.. is there, some sort of thing I need to do?" he asked.

  
Biting her lip, she gave a nod, his meaning clear. "There is, but we can discuss that tomorrow.. I would rather spend the night with you, like this." she admitted.

  
Setting the box down, head tilting slightly to the side. "Whatever you wish, love. Tonight, your wish is my command.."


	31. A Dream in Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last news anyone needed leads to a tough decision, and the return of someone no one wanted to see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, fair warning, this chapter moves at a fairly weird pace, contains strong language, and graphic (?) violence.

New rules had been put in place for her personal wellbeing, and it was driving her crazy. It hadn't taken long for her advisors to get together and plot her downfall. Well, that was a little drastic, but she was sure they meant to make her insane. A constant guard outside her door, healers available around the clock, unable to leave the grounds without an escort, and if she absolutely had to work, Cassandra had to go with her, no argument allowed. She had to wonder if this was what the circle mages felt like, if it was, it was little wonder they rebelled. Yuuki had lost her freedom once, and had taken the first chance she had to get as far away as she could. Technically, if one counted being a prisoner after she arrived here, then twice. The difference then being only that even had she decided to run, there was nowhere to go. Assuming she actually wanted to run now, she might be able to get away, maybe even get back to her own world, but it would require so much energy it would likely kill her.

  
Out for a short walk in the yard, with Solas of all people, she stopped mid-step.

  
"Is there something wrong?" he asked.

  
"It just occurred to me that I've no privacy. What exactly do they expect me to do if I don't want other people to listen to what I'm telling someone?" she huffed.

  
She was plainly in a bad mood, and though he wasn't one for humor most of the time, he thought to give it a try.

  
"I see. Was there something private you wanted to tell me?" he asked jokingly.

  
Pressing a hand to her temple, she sighed. The delivery was all wrong, but she knew he was trying to cheer her up. It wasn't his fault that she was upset, no need to take it out on him.

  
"Not specifically, though I do appreciate the effort." she said.

  
"There is something on my mind, concerning you. Word has spread, whether you wanted it to or not. It was a choice not made lightly, I'm aware. Is it troubling you?" he asked.  
Yuuki stared at the patch of dirt at her feet, one of the few places not covered in snow in the yard. Resuming her slow pace, unable to answer right away.

  
"Of course it's troubling me. I won't deny this is something I've thought of before, but not like this... Even so, I was certain I wouldn't live all that long. I've mentioned time and again that adventurers don't live very long, usually." she replied, wringing her hands.

  
"Why is that, anyway?" said more in thought than anything.

  
"Inexperience, stupidity, lack of proper preparation, an overestimation of skill. Any number of reasons, take your pick." she told him with a shrug.

  
"You've stated before you desired revenge, and yet you still haven't accomplished that, one would assume you had another reason to pursue such a perilous... career choice..." he stated, in a way that was meant to provoke a response.

  
"People. While I was recovering, I saw the struggles the people faced, I wanted to help. They needed someone to care, and I knew I could be that someone. " no hesitation in her answer.

  
Her steps were slowing, and he could tell she was trying to put it out of her mind. Turning slightly, he gestured to the guard following them. The woman reached for her, steadying her quickly.

  
"I apologize, Lady Homura, but you have to return to your room now." she said.

  
She frowned, but relented, allowing the assistance with little complaint. The routine was already familiar, someone would suppress it, and then would come the treatments, and she would be sent back to bed, even if she didn't want to rest. When they reached her room, she could hear some sort of argument taking place, unable to focus enough to hear what it was about. It wasn't until she reached the top of the steps that she could hear bits and pieces.

  
"Commander, this was partially your order, she can't be allowed to go." someone said, though she couldn't tell who.

  
"Certainly not, the strain of the trip alone could kill her." a different voice added.

  
"You think I don't know that? If there were any other choice..." he stopped, noticing her then.

  
His hand slid to the back of his neck, looking away as though it were too hard to face her. Her guide led her to the bed, helping her down. Yuuki curled her hands against her legs, turning her attention to him then.

  
"Well... out with it." she sighed, combing through her hair slowly.

  
Still not facing her, he spoke, apparently disgusted that it should even need to be brought up in the first place.

  
"We received word today, and it appears we can no longer put off taking action." he stated.

  
Coughing slightly, she nodded. "Adamant, correct? If it has become so dire, why haven't we left yet?"

  
"My Lady, you're in no condition, you'll di--" the woman from earlier spoke.

  
"It can't be helped. Though... I believe I have an idea that may help a little." she sighed.

  
It was definitely not a good idea. Not by far, but it was the only way she could ensure that she would survive long enough to finish the job. She knew exactly who to bring with, the only people who had already experienced it first-hand.

  
"Why do I have the feeling I won't like this?" Cullen asked.

  
Pushing herself up once more, she grinned, trying to make the best of it. "Because you know me too well." she laughed. "I trust you can get the arrangements made. If you could gather Solas, Bull and Cole for me, I can make my own preparations."

  
Nodding once, he turned to leave. It was plain to see he was more than a little bothered by the situation, but as she had said, there wasn't a lot that could be done about it.

 

  
Subsisting the entirety of the trip on potions, she had ensured she had as much energy as she could manage. When they were ready to enter, they wouldn't be needed. While the soldiers worked to get the gates open, Yuuki brought her friends aside to warn them.

  
"I hate to say this, but when we go in there, I will not be in control, at all. At worse, you could actually be killed. If things get bad, you must try to get away from me as quickly as possible. " she said.

  
"Eh. I already figured I'd die in battle someday, and he's a spirit anyway... so..." Bull said, presumably to ease her mind about the situation.

  
Walking away from them, she opened her case, heaving a small sigh as she changed. Closing her eyes, she spoke, seemingly to herself, or perhaps no one at all. "I can still destroy you. I will let you have control, but realize if you don't give it back when this is over, we'll both die..."

  
A black essence surrounded her, falling to her knees, arms clasped tightly around her stomach. The scream she let out was horrifying, added to the way she writhed, clawing at the sand underneath her did nothing to make the scene any less hard to watch. Strobing breaths that sounded like a struggle for air that wasn't to be found, they barely made out the tears rolling down her cheeks. Her body lifted once, before she stopped moving, completely still for a short time.

  
"Uh... think she's dead?" Bull asked.

  
Solas shook his head, not looking away. "I can't tell, but I think it may be best not to check just yet..."

  
"Wasn't planning on it. This is fuckin' creepy..." he grunted.

  
The sound of the gates bursting open tore through the air, and she moved. Cullen took a step outside the gate, looking between her and the others for a moment. Solas waved him away urgently, trying to silently tell him to get out of there, in case things went south. Yuuki sat up slowly, sand trickling from her open palms. It certainly looked like her, but it was anything but. Rising up, a hand reaching for the great sword hanging from her back, they saw that same gleeful expression from before, eyes deep crimson. A feeling like blood turning to ice crawling through them when she turned to look towards them.

  
**_"Did you miss me?"_**  she asked, a hideous laugh echoing.

  
"Do we run now?" Bull whispered.

  
**_"I ask again... DID YOU MISS ME?!"_**   she shouted impatiently.

  
Pushing Solas towards her, he glanced back, glaring angrily. With all the courtesy one might extend to royalty or even a divine being, he bowed deeply, though he had no idea if it would help. "Certainly, we've missed you dearly." he said.

  
**_"I like you, I'll kill you last when this is all over..."_**  she cackled.  ** _"What are we waiting for? These pricks aren't going to kill themselves. They never do."_**

  
Without waiting for them, she strode in, blade trailing through the sand. The scraping of metal on stone when they entered the gates was grating. Lifting it easily, she worked her way through the scant forces. Cullen quickly snagged Solas aside while she was distracted.

  
"What the hell is going on?" he asked, speaking quietly so as not to draw her attention.

  
"I am given to understand it is a darkness inside her, harnessed exclusively for battle. She made passing mention to something called 'Esteem' that she had to fight for control." he answered, undeniably fascinated despite the danger.

  
"I see... so that was the idea. Let this... thing... control her so the strain on her own body would be lessened... it makes sense, but it still seems too risky..." he thought out loud.

  
"I should pass on what Yuuki told us, just in case. If this goes wrong, we're to get away from her as quickly as we can. I would gather you're the last person she would want to hurt." he told him, turning to follow her.

  
For once, he actually found himself glad he wasn't getting involved in the actual combat. He had enough to worry about making sure the losses would be minimal, and now with this thing on the loose, it occurred to him that he might be sending something even worse to deal with it.

  
Striding in almost arrogantly, she cut a path through to the battlements. The concern seemed to be whether she would turn on their own allies as well as the enemies.

  
**_"Listen well, if you value your lives you'll leave while I'm feeling charitable enough to let you..."_**

  
That hissing, dark voice was too foreign, too strange. Unpleasant, unlike her in every way. Though it seemed a minor blessing that Yuuki seemed to be in control enough for now to not kill everyone on sight. Even the imposing Pride demons gave her only the briefest of trouble, falling easily to her blade, her thirst for blood felt as though it were emanating from within themselves, lingering all around them. Following along what few paths were open, she began to whistle, stopping next to one of the Wardens she had slain for a moment. Bending low, she smashed the hilt against the side of the unknown man's face, prying open his mouth. Unsure whether she was looking for something specific, they realized she was collecting rather gruesome trophies now. Standing once more, she pocketed whatever it was that she had taken, continuing on.

  
Not long after, they arrived at the epicenter of the chaos. Diplomacy immediately thrown out the window the moment she noticed Livius was there as well.

  
**_"I see you failed to heed my warning."_** she observed with no small amount of joy.

  
If he was afraid, he gave no hint, though she seemed to take notice of the Warden Commander shortly after she spoke. Aiming to try and salvage whatever lives they could, Solas met her gaze, speaking before she had a chance to attack.

  
"I would strongly advise you to preserve yourselves. She will not spare you if you don't take the chance to run while you can." He warned loud enough for everyone to hear.  
Some small number broke away quickly, even more scattering when the dragon presented itself on command. Turning her focus to it, they saw her quiver, and wondered if the creature found it frightening.

  
**_"Finally, a real challenge... I'm getting excited now..."_**

  
Of course it didn't scare her. On the contrary, it seemed to be some strange form of sexual excitement for her to be confronted with an enemy that might actually be worthy. Clarel escaped to pursuit Erimond, though before they could follow, a sizable force supplemented by demons circled them. Sighing some, she shrugged her blade from her shoulder, no hesitation as she thrust her sword forward, tearing through the mage in front of her. They helped as best as they were able, knowing she would likely have the whole force down in a matter of minutes. Giving chase when it was over, they seemed to be too late, as Clarel had already cornered him, anger provoking her to fight uncontrolled. The woman meant to kill him, obvious disappointment on her face while she watched. She raised her sword, but the dragon returned. After a series of events too quick to register, the bridge began crumbling away. Even the girl turned to run, but it wasn't enough, falling to what would surely be their deaths.

  
It hadn't taken long to realize where they were. Cole's panicked commentary was enough to let them know that this was wrong, and he didn't want to be there. Bull, too, seemed rather uncomfortable about it, and yet Solas was pleased. Esteem, however, didn't want any part of it. A piercing shriek dying in the still air, he knew instantly why. Waving the others back, she gripped her sword tighter, swinging it wildly at nothing. Well, nothing to them, to her, it had to be terrifying, even for this darker side.

  
**_"Leave me alone, you bastards!"_**  she shouted.

  
"I know very well you can hear me in there. Listen, Yuuki. Remember what I told you!" Solas told her, verging on a lecture.

  
Dropping the blade, she dropped to her knees, covering her face, fingers smearing through blood as she did. Less guarded now, he approached her, kneeling slightly.

  
"That idiot is going to get himself killed..." Bull sighed.

  
"At least he's trying, if we hope to leave, we need her..." Hawke interjected.

  
No one could hear what he was saying to her, but everyone believed it would end in blood, regardless of what it was. Reaching for the discarded weapon, preparing with a collective cringe, they were surprised when she stood once more, saying something to the elf before she pressed on. Rejoining the rest of the party, they had no time to wonder what had happened.

  
"I simply told her that there she would have plenty to kill further in. Objectively, I believe it was easier than if Yuuki actually were the one in control." he admitted.

  
Further in, they saw Divine Justinia, or at least some manner of spirit in her form. Seeking only to help them through to the rift that would lead them out, concern grew that she wouldn't have the chance.

  
'So help me, if you kill her, I'll take over. Do as she says, or we both die here...'

  
**_"You're a Godsdamned mood killer, you know that?"_**  she said, though no one knew who she meant.

  
Whistling once more, apparently tuning her out, she obeyed, doing as she was told, though it seemed to be upsetting her to do so. Cutting through the demons to collect the lost memories, her lip curled in disgust.

  
**_"Here's your stupid memories. Enjoy, you bleedin' pansy..."_**  she grumbled.

  
A rumbling voice spoke while they pressed on, realizing she could care less, they struggled to meet her pace, lashing out at whatever managed to get in her way.

  
**_"Shut the hell up, already. You're pissing me off!"_**  she shouted angrily.

  
Whether she was addressing the voice, or someone else remained a mystery. It was more nerve-wracking to hope for survival long enough to even reach the exit. The silver lining was again that they were progressing so quickly, even passing barriers, with a speed that would not have been possible otherwise. Given the girl's weakened condition, it would have been more likely that she would have died before they even entered the Fade, by her own admission. Unconcerned with idle chatter, doing only what she had to in order to resume her spree. Unexpectedly, however, she made a detour stopping at some manner of graveyard, filled with headstones. Pausing to examine each one, Esteem turned to face them, a grin on her face.

  
**_"Better and better, this isn't what I expected. I will certainly remember this, and make good use of it when I take over..."_** she said.

  
Interested then, in what could have made her so cheerful, Hawke stopped to read them as well.

  
"This is... bad. Very bad. " her voice apprehensive.

  
A quick examination revealed the names of those close to the Inquisitor, listing their greatest fear on them. She meant to wield fear as well as a blade.

  
"If you have belief in a god, you may want to consider praying..." she said quietly.

  
Leaving the area, she headed towards the exit, almost dejectedly. That was until she saw the gigantic form of the Nightmare in front of her. Shivering now, she stared up at it, an ecstatic grin spreading.

  
**_"Hells yes... Gods, I think I came..."_**  she growled eagerly.

  
"This is becoming almost too bizarre..." Solas sighed, holding his head for a moment as if he had a sudden headache.

  
Of more concern at that particular time being the way even she struggled to hurt it at all. All of them together had barely managed to inflict any meaningful damage. The demon had a fast refreshing barrier preventing direct assault. Adding to the problem were the smaller demons gathering to help. Forced to split up to handle the smaller threats, they were getting nowhere. Being the only one who could, Solas focused on dispelling the barrier so the others could concentrate on injuring it directly. Flying back, she hit the ground hard, clutching her throat, noticing the blood on her hand. Deep scratches laced across her skin, enraging her.

  
**_"You've sealed your doom... No one hits me and gets away with it..."_** she gasped.

  
Gathering a strength greater than she seemed capable of, she brought the blade down hard, dropping the demon easily. Signaling to the others, they ran through quickly. Before she, Hawke and Stroud could follow, the beast got back up. Not allowing any thought, she turned to face them.

  
**_"You, Moustache. Keep him company."_**  she ordered.

  
Replacing her weapon at her back, she gripped Hawke's wrist tightly, almost dragging her along as she ran through the exit. Unconcerned that she had just left a man to die, she closed the rift as soon as they crossed through.

  
'Tell the Wardens to ally with the Inquisition...' she heard in her mind.

  
**_"All of you shiny-headed fuckheads, get out of here and don't think of coming back, or your lives are forfeit!"_** she roared.

  
'Godsdammit, you heard me, what was that for?' she questioned angrily.

  
'Because I could.' she countered in thought.

  
'You're done. I'm taking over.' she argued.

  
**_"No, I'm not ready!"_**

  
Dropping to her knees once again, wrestling for control, the dark creature smashing at the ground in a rage, collapsing, yet still fighting. Tensing, she fell unconscious, slow to loosen up while she lay there. Solas got his payback, pushing Bull towards her. Grumbling, he bent to lift her, tossing her easily over his shoulder, a glare directed to the elf. Cullen met up with them at the gates, noticing the rivulets of blood spilling off her armor.

  
"Is she..." he started, not willing to finish the thought. 

  
"Don't worry, Commander. She sustained only one injury of her own, easily fixed. Whether she'll be herself when she wakes up is a different matter." Solas sighed.

  
"It will be alright... it has to be..." he exhaled, raking a hand through his hair.


	32. Better Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking up, and a long conversation

“Long time, no see.” A voice said.

Eyelids fluttering slowly, she opened her eyes and sat up, looking for the source. This couldn’t be possible, there was just no way.

“Haurchefant…” she sighed, cradling her head slowly.

He took a seat next to her, face turned up. Yuuki turned to look, stars stretched as far as she could see. Reaching for her hand, he slid his fingers between hers, taking a deep breath. He shook his head, a peaceful look on his face as he spoke.

“You’ve gotten more beautiful since I last saw you. Yet, you don’t look quite as happy to see me as I hoped you would be.” He commented, thumb brushing against the side of her hand.

“It’s not that I’m not happy to see you, only that I don’t understand. Am I dead?” she asked, not looking away.

“No, Yuu. You’ve lost consciousness. It’s not quite time for you to join me yet.” He told her, lying back.

Pulling her back next to him, he stretched a hand up, pointing to a formation of stars. “Brighter tonight than usual.”

Looking where he pointed, a small smile crossed her face. It was comforting to relax like this, even more so with him there. “Where are we? This… isn’t the Fade, but I don’t quite recognize this place.”

“Shouldn’t you know? This is all in your head. You know I’m not really here. All of this was conjured in your mind.” He explained.

She hadn’t even considered their surroundings. When he said it though, she sat up enough to get a good look. It was Othard, back in the valleys, the mountains looming over them. He had never been there, she was sure of it, which confirmed what he said. Why she would be dreaming about it now escaped her, it hadn’t been her home in so long.

“This is where I grew up…” she told him, lying back down.

An imposing light broke over the sky, making her wince in discomfort. Turning onto his side, he brushed a hand through her hair, shaking his head. “Our time together is up. You have to wake up now, people need you still. You need to let me go, and please… don’t forget to smile, okay?” he said, letting go of her hand slowly.

Her eyes opened slowly. Afraid to sit up until she realized she didn’t hurt as she thought she might. Something had a hold of her hand, catching her attention. Cullen, seated on the floor, holding her hand, though it seemed he was asleep. The sudden movement woke him up, almost startled when he noticed her.

“You’re finally awake. I was worried you wouldn’t...” he said.

Hanging her head for a moment, she smiled. “Why are you on the floor, you know you could have slept next to me.” She gently scolded.

“I thought about it, but I couldn’t bring myself to.” He admitted, frowning a little.

Recalling vaguely what had happened, she pulled her hand away, turning away from him. “How much did you see?” she asked.

“Enough. I know that wasn’t actually you, but I couldn’t be sure it would be you who woke up.” he said.

How long had she been out of it? There was no visible indicator to be found. His reaction had been confusing as well, if he was so concerned about who she would be when she woke up, why had he stayed at all? Her gaze caught the portrait on the wall for a moment, and it felt like a blow had been struck against her. Curling up, she hid her face in the pillow, taking slow, deep breaths to hold back from sobbing again. He told her to let him go, and she had been making the effort to for a long while now. The dream only made it even harder to deal with it again, like reopening a wound that had finally started to mend.

“Should I get someone in here, are you in pain?’ he asked, concerned.

“It does hurt, but there’s nothing to be done for it. Please don’t bother anyone. Speaking of which, shouldn’t there be guards in here?” she questioned, realizing finally that they were alone.

He moved off the floor, sitting beside her. “I thought you would… I guess it doesn’t matter now, but I wanted to be alone with you.”

“You can say it. You thought I would die. It’s natural to think that, but I went in knowing it was risky. I can’t say that I remember much, what happened?’ she pressed, not looking away from the pillow.

The hesitation that came before the answer meant that he was trying not to think about it too much. “Bull carried you back to the caravans, unconscious. I can’t say that I witnessed everything, but I can say that we found quite a few disturbing things on your person.” He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck slowly.

“Dear Gods, what was it this time, or do I even want to know?” she couldn’t help but ask.

“I’d imagine you’d rather not know, but among the items we found a handful of teeth, part of a tongue and an eyeball.” He said, cringing a little as he did.

Hearing this, she quickly forced herself to stand, rushing towards the restroom, slamming the door behind her as she did. It was disgusting, unsure what reason she would have had to collect those things. He made no move to follow, but she heard him call to her.

“Are you sure you wouldn’t like for me to fetch someone?” sounding slightly more worried than before.

The feeling passed quickly enough, though she didn’t come back out immediately. “I’m fine, really” she insisted.

When she was sure she wouldn’t be sick, she came back out, struggling to put the picture out of her mind. Such a reaction was highly unusual, having seen things much more gruesome in her travels. Hell, she herself had been pierced through the chest by the very dragon that she now used for travel, and there was little more painful than taking what was equal to a light javelin through the chest, nor more horrifying to experience. Lost in her thoughts, she barely registered his words.

“You know; you still haven’t told me what you said you would.” He reminded her, lightly stroking her side when she laid back down.

That was surprising, that he could so easily go from one subject to the next like that. Especially such a different topic, though she knew what he was referring to. “After all this, you still want to go through with it?”

“It doesn’t change how I feel, though I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want you to avoid using that anymore.” He sighed.

Cullen was far too nice at times. Why he let her get away with so much without letting it get to him was beyond her understanding. Granted among her people she would be held in high regard for doing whatever it took to succeed in the task she had been given. Aware of her guilt, he sighed, kissing her head lightly, trying to reassure her.

“Alright… I understand. It’s a fairly simple task to begin with. It involves a vow, and an exchange of life. That’s all there is to it. “

“I don’t know if I should ask, what is this exchange, and why is it important?” He questioned with a frown.

Clearing her throat, she tried to distract herself with something else. “A promise made by trading life. Simply put, we trade blood. The way doesn’t matter, I have known some who have fought for it, others who trade it with a blade, and others still who prefer the passion of a bite. It is largely symbolic of a willingness to sacrifice and become one…my people believe the blood is where the soul is. By sharing it with each other, it wraps our souls together forever. It probably sounds dumb to someone not of my people…” she sighed.  

“I don’t think it sounds dumb. It may be different, but I see no reason to devalue something of cultural significance. It may be preferable to do this some other way though; I don’t have teeth like yours, and doubtless it would be painful.” He mumbled nervously.

At this, she laughed a little, finding it endearing. “However you see fit. It doesn’t have to be more than a slight poke, though I might remind you that I am not particularly fragile.”

As much as he had been imagining a normal ceremony, in his mind it wasn’t needed. Proving his dedication in this way would surely be as good as a vow before the Maker.  He had already assured her from the start that no price was too high to be with her. This was part of it, he gathered.

“You know; my tribe was one of the milder ones. Aside from the women having many husbands, we were rather inoffensive and kept to ourselves. There was one tribe of all women, any males born among them were abandoned and left for dead, only to be scooped up by a different tribe who swelled their ranks that way. Yet another dwelled exclusively in caves along the mountains and sustained themselves on their own fluids. Fifty-one great families numbered the Xaela Auri, and each was vastly different from all the others. Eorzean weddings tend to be simpler, yet we cannot go that way, since it involves travelling to each of the signs of the Twelve, which you might realize, there are none here. “she told him, attempting to make him feel less concerned about it.

It did help a little, but it made him wonder what might happen if she was from one of the other families. If they had a son, would she have abandoned it to die in the cold, or if she would ignore tradition. He supposed it hardly mattered, but the thought was there. Biting her lip, she could tell where his mind had gone, and she knew they hadn’t discussed it since. At the same time, she was still processing it herself, and wasn’t quite ready to. It had to come up sooner or later, and sooner might be better.

“I wanted to say… I’m sorry, I know you weren’t comfortable with it, and this isn’t how it should have gone. If it was to happen, it should have been different…” she said, genuine sadness in her words.

Cullen shook his head slowly. “None of that now. No regrets, no matter what happens. There isn’t any point in dwelling on it now, it happened and that can’t be changed now. The timing may not be right, but it doesn’t have to be wrong.” He sighed, hoping he was being as comforting as he meant it to sound.

The pain in her chest still hadn’t faded, the remnants of her dream weighing on her mind. It was already a struggle not to fall apart again, but the way he treated her was adding to the difficulty. In her mind, she had done nothing to deserve his understanding or even his concern.

“I don’t mean to seem insecure but I must ask; Do you truly love me? I’ve put you through much already, I don’t want to feel like I’ve forced you into this somehow.” The uncertainty was clear even as she tried to hide it.

Smiling a little, he brushed the hair from her face, gently prodding her brow. “Do you really need to ask? I wouldn’t still be here with you if I didn’t. I’ve never felt this way before, and the thought of being without you… it’s too much.” He confessed, glancing away nervously.

Putting what he felt into words like that was difficult, and to some extent, embarrassing. The lingering fear of rejection was always hiding just out of reach in his mind. Reaching for him, she brought her hands around his neck slowly, pressing her lips to his cheek, mulling over what he had told her.

“Being here with you, there’s no place I’d rather be. Whether here or in my own world, you’re my home, it feels right.” Her words spoken with no trace of doubt, a heartfelt answer.

Despite the hurts, she had somehow begun to move past the loss without realizing it. There was a time when this would never have crossed her mind, and yet, it felt so natural, like it was meant to have happened. Scraping a hand through his hair, she sighed, looking into his eyes.

“I want you to stay with me tonight. Any excuse that needs to be made, I’ll make it…” she pleaded.

She wasn’t in the mood to deal with people she didn’t know. The guard was important, and for her benefit, she understood that just fine, but he had already stayed with her this long, one night didn’t seem like too much to ask for.

“How can I say no to you?” he asked, lightly brushing his fingertips against her back. “I can’t send them away from the door, but I won’t go anywhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm curious if this is as odd as I think it is. If anyone has anything helpful to say, I'd love to hear it ;~;


	33. Diminuendo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Diminuendo is a dynamic instruction meaning to gradually play quieter.

In the morning, Cullen noticed she was already awake. Busying herself with something, though he couldn’t readily tell what it was. Sitting up he watched her put an object back into her bag. A quick glance around the room causing him to realize what she was doing. She had taken the portrait of Lord Haurchefant off the wall, albeit slowly and with some hesitation. A sign that she was letting go of the past, little by little. It seemed a deeply personal thing for her, and he was reluctant to interrupt it.

“Couldn’t sleep?” he asked quietly.

“I slept fine, I just thought this should be worth getting up for…” she sighed.

Despite the look on her face, he couldn’t help but smile. To him, it was as if she had just told him that she felt it was worth it to put him first in her life. Not that he ever believed otherwise, yet still a meaningful gesture. Talking more to herself, he barely made out what she had said then.

“I wonder how Artoirel is holding up. I suppose I should have taken the time to check on him before we left…” she mumbled.

“Artoirel?” he asked, not familiar with the name.

“Ahh. House Fortemps had three sons, Emmanellain, Artoirel and Haurchefant. Emmanellain is the youngest, and Artoirel is the oldest son. Last time I saw him, he asked a favor of me, as his father was stepping down as head of the family. He said I was as a sister to Haurchefant, and he wanted to know if I would be a sister to him, and guide him as I did his brother. A true honor for one not of Ishgard, but I couldn’t really help leaving. I wonder if he thinks me dead, or if perhaps the Lord Commander did me the kindness of telling him I’m alive…” she explained quietly.

“You certainly know a lot of people. Sounds like a lot of people with influence.” He said, brushing a hand through his hair.

“Of course. That I was well suited to combat with the capacity for diplomacy despite… my lack of education… I was a good fit for the task of dealing with people of meaningful status. The Elder seedseer, dragons, nobility, the archbishop, sultana, generals, scholars, archons. No one was considered too important to deal with me. Many were glad of my aid.” She said, losing herself for a time in her memories of those events.

“I wasn’t quite aware that dragons talk. What is that even like?” he asked.

She laughed a little. It was never proven that Auri people were descended from dragons, as she had mentioned before, but it still struck her as humorous. “It’s much like talking to anyone else. The way they speak is more… I don’t know how to describe it, except to say it’s a way of speaking from a time long past. Not with modern language…” she tried to explain. Of course, she could just _show_ him sometime, assuming it would work.

Not looking back, the sound of his feet hitting the floor distracted her from her thinking. Feeling the warmth that said he was right behind her was comforting. Wrapping his arms around her waist, content to hold her quietly for a time. Having him this close always felt the same to her as basking in the light of the mothercrystal, warm and gentle. The kind of feeling that told her that she was safe and protected. The moment was spoiled as soon as he asked the dreaded question.

“How tall are you, exactly?” he questioned, the difference between them making certain things a challenge.

Huffing quietly in the manner that she always had whenever her age or her height were the topic of discussion, she relented. “Four fulms, seven ilms.” She mumbled, almost too quiet to hear.

The unit of measurement was different, but even so, he gathered it was the equivalent of feet and inches, meaning she was _really_ short. More so than he had guessed. Probably why she wore such high shoes. Turning to face him, possibly to complain when he laughed by accident, he silenced her immediately, his hands dropping to her hips, lifting her easily. Drawing her legs around his waist, he kissed her before she could speak. Truly, it was only too simple to read her reactions and counter them. When he stopped, a smirk crossed his face, teasing her once more.

“See? I told you. Portable.”

Pouting at the continued joking, she shook her head slowly. “You know, if I didn’t love you, I’d wallop you.”

An empty threat, one he knew she would never follow up on. He carried her back towards the bed, lying down again, not letting her go.

“I know. You just look so adorable when you’re grumpy. I can’t help it.” He said, pleased when she reacted to the continued commentary, making the exact face he was looking for.

Staring down at him, she gave in, bending down to kiss him again. The list of reasons she couldn’t resist him only grew the longer she was around him. Threading his fingers through her hair, his other hand brushed slowly against her hip. It was a mild surprise that she hadn’t tried to move away from him yet, in his mind, just sitting over him like this seemed like it would be a bit too embarrassing for her. Pulling away, her attention turned to the door. Cullen sighed, that usually meant someone was about to bother them.

“Ser, you can’t go in there, the Lady is resting!” one of the guards insisted.

Despite that, the door opened, and a figure came up the steps. Yuuki noticed Cullen’s sudden irritation when she saw who it was. Stopping in his tracks, he quickly turned away.

“Gods, they said you were _resting._ I didn’t think I would actually interrupt something…” Thancred muttered.

Not turning his attention away from her, he chose to answer to save her the trouble. “We weren’t doing anything yet…”

“Yet implies you were getting there. Again, that means I’ve come at a bad time.” He defended.

“Did you need something?” Yuuki asked, a hint of nervousness in her words.

“Well, Cid mentioned it’s been about two weeks since he last had the chance to see you, you were out for a while, and I thought I would check on you.” He explained, still refusing to turn around.

Two weeks, longer than usual. Not that it made a huge difference. In truth, she was actually feeling a little better. The only logical reason for that was that she might have gotten a bit of her strength back, though she didn’t quite feel like pushing her luck too much just yet. Cullen looked at the man for a moment, that same jealousy from before creeping up on him. The urge to try to strike a nerve was too strong, and he couldn’t resist.

“Ahh, that’s right. I meant to speak with him before our wedding.” He said, watching covertly for any kind of reaction.

It worked to some extent. Thancred cringed slightly, turning his focus to the couch by the stairs. If he was bothered beyond that, he didn’t let on.

“Are you feeling any better at all, Yuu?” he asked quietly, possibly choosing to ignore him completely.

“I am, at least a little.” She said, allowing herself to be pulled closer, laying her head against his chest.

“Good… you had me worried. I’d like to talk more, but it can wait.” He told her.

Walking back down the steps, he paused long enough to offer a half-hearted “Congratulations” before the door closed.

Though she had no way of knowing, he felt perfectly content in antagonizing him. There was no need to complicate matters for her, so he had decided against telling her. She glanced up at him, but said nothing at first. When she did, he expected it to be some manner of lecture.

“Why would you want to talk to Cid about that?” she murmured.

“I… feel odd saying this so openly, but I thought he might be the closest thing to family that you have. Or would you rather he not know?” he asked quietly.

Slowly bringing her mouth against his neck, the sudden softness of her tongue pressed against the skin was distracting. Moving slightly underneath her, he sighed, tipping his head to the side in offering. Stopping long enough to give a brief answer, she quickly returned after.

“I think that’s a good idea…” she told him.

He gasped sharply when her teeth scratched in a bit, his hands fixed on her hips, pulling her against him tightly.

“N-not that I’m complaining, but there are still guards outside. We could be interrupted again…” he groaned.

Sitting back up, she let her head fall back, rolling her eyes in frustration. “I know; this is exactly why I don’t like this arrangement.” She complained, trailing her fingers along his chest for a moment.

Cullen spared a glance towards the door, reaching up to unbutton her shirt, easing her down once more as it hung open. Cupping her breasts, looking into her eyes, he spoke quietly, so as not to attract unwanted attention. “We may not have much privacy, but that doesn’t mean I can’t sneak a quick peek.”

“It’s partially your fault, if the three of you hadn’t put these restrictions in place, it wouldn’t need to be quick.” She stated.

“If it weren’t for a good reason, I’d have fought it.” He hesitated, whispering now, as though it embarrassed him to suggest it. “I could be your escort. You are allowed to walk the grounds as long as someone is with you. Maybe we go see Cid and then… sneak off somewhere…” he suggested.

That was tempting, not only would they be doing something useful, but she’d be getting out of the room and away from the constant watch for a while. There was little need to consider it seriously, it was already worth it to be away from the same setting she was starting to get tired of. “What are we waiting for?” she asked eagerly.

At this, he let her go so she could stand up. Buttoning her shirt again, she felt his arms around her waist once more, her face flushing a soft pink. Laughing quietly, she protested briefly. “We’ll never get anything done like this…”

Letting go again, he reached for her hand, walking with her down the steps. Predictably, they were held up at the door.

“My lady, where are you going?” the guard asked.

Cullen stopped for a moment, facing him. “It’s alright, take a break, we’re going for a walk. I’m not going to let anything happen to her while we’re out.” He said, waiting until they had walked far enough away to avoid being heard. “That’s not _entirely_ true, but he doesn’t need to know that.”

As expected, Cid was in the yard, making adjustments to some manner of machinery that he couldn’t readily identify. Seeing them approach, he stopped, standing to greet them properly.

“Ahh, good. You’re up and moving, that’s great, Yuu. Gave us all a scare.” He said, wiping his brow.

“You know me; I don’t stay down for long.” She joked, playing it off like it was nothing.

“You don’t have to tell me that. Remember, I drove you into a tornado to fight Garuda. Your talent for survival is something.” He laughed, glancing to Cullen after a moment.

“Never forget how lucky you are.” He told him, making a few more adjustments.

“I… um… wanted to ask you a favor, actually.” He said, his free hand resting on his neck.

“I’m listening.” He replied, not taking his attention away from the gadget.

“I wonder if you might… I… that is… “This went so much better in his head, somehow between theory and practice, it became a struggle. “I want to marry her. I wanted your approval…”

Cid dropped the tools he had been using, looking between them in silence for a time. He hadn’t expected to be asked that, more surprising still, he hadn’t exactly expected this kind of situation. Knowing full well that she hadn’t considered anything like this before. Bringing a hand through his messy hair, he finally answered, retrieving his tools and composing himself as he did.

“You’ve proven more than capable of taking care of her. Who am I to stand in the way of this. If it’s what you both want, then you have my blessing. It may not count for much, but you have it.” He said, once again directing his focus to the object he had been working on.

Noticing her curiosity, he saved her the trouble of asking. “It’s for Urianger. With luck, this will help him determine the state of alignment between the worlds. If he figures out the cause, there may be a solution to fixing it.” He explained.

Beyond her understanding, but it was interesting, regardless. Cullen lightly pulled on her hand, as if to try and lead her away before they started discussing the finer points of how it worked and what it did specifically. Yuuki bowed politely, thanking him for his time and promising to come visit again soon. For someone who seemed eager to spend some alone time with her, he didn’t seem to be in any great hurry, though the reasoning behind that was a mystery. Following him up to the wall, it occurred to her that it had been ages since she had been up there. Hopelessly lost most of the time, she could scarcely recall what anything was for. His office, certainly, and maybe she was wrong, but it seemed like he was going the wrong way if that was the destination. Keeping his focus on the path, he spoke after a bit.

“Remember last time? I’d like to avoid the office as much as possible. Too many people.” He told her, as if reading her mind.

“Oh, that’s true…” she mumbled nervously.

Opening a door, he looked in. It was empty, from the looks of it, hardly touched. Not exactly the most romantic place, but it was probably the least likely place anyone would think to look for them.  Turning to her then, he shrugged a shoulder, wordlessly asking her opinion. It was dark, no lights to speak of, but otherwise not the worst place in the world. Mirroring his shrug, she nodded once. “I’m just happy to be out. This is fine…”

“I would suggest a better place, if there was one to be found, you should have better than this. “he said, frowning slightly. Trying to lighten the mood, he tried to make a joke. “I suppose we could have tried the dungeon.”

“No thank you, I’d take this any day. I’d be perfectly content to stay as far from there as I can get.” She giggled.

One stay in confinement was plenty. No, this was practically a palace in comparison. It was a little awkward, though why was hard to say. Part of it was probably that it was strange. Grasping his hands loosely, she managed to get his attention, which seemed a fine place to start.


	34. Then and Now, Here and There

The sounds of footsteps not far away had been worrisome. Dressing quickly and hurrying out the other door, as it closed, they could hear the other door open. Yuuki brushed a hand through her now messy hair, laughing a bit nervously.

“That was too close.” She said, her hands resting on her hips for a moment as she caught her breath.

Cullen grinned, blushing slightly. “Close, certainly, but it worked out.”

Grasping her hand, he led her back to the yard, maintaining a leisurely pace. Frowning a little, she hung her head.

“Do we have to go back already?” she asked, not quite ready to go back.

He knew she didn’t like being confined to the room, but until it was known whether or not things would go as planned, it was better that she rest as much as she could. Granted she might have gotten some of her strength back, it was no guarantee that she would continue to improve. “You know it’s best. I don’t want you getting worse, no one does. “

That didn’t change how boring and lonely it was. Most of the time, the guards didn’t talk, and there was only so many times a person could count the books in the shelves before that got old. Looking up, she bit her lip gently, considering her options for a moment before she spoke again.

“Will you at least stay again tonight?” she asked.

He had put off a lot of work to stay by her side after what had happened, and he had much to catch up on. At the end of the night, however, he didn’t see the harm in it. “I will. It might be late before I can, but I’ll be there…” he assured her.

It honestly hadn’t occurred to her that he had stayed the whole time, and might have put off everything for her sake. The look on his face told her enough. Doubtless he was swamped with reports, forms and other things he didn’t enjoy dealing with. Reaching the door after some time, the guard greeted them again.

“Welcome back Commander, Lady Homura.” He said, opening the door and closing it behind them.

That seemed like the most boring job. Waiting by the door, just standing around unless something actually happened. Cullen pulled her back from her thoughts, lifting her and depositing her in the bed. Pulling the covers up for her, he knelt down, kissing her lightly.

“Please, if not for yourself, I must ask you to endure this a little while longer… I need you to be okay…” he whispered.

When he looked at her like that, it was impossible to be anything but agreeable. That hint of sadness was almost painful, and she found herself willing to do whatever it took to make it go away. Sighing reluctantly, she nodded once.

“I will, though I assure you, I’d rather be doing absolutely anything else right now. I hate being idle, and this isn’t easy for me. If the Lord Commander can bring himself out of bed right after being stabbed to do battle, why is it that I have to be stuck here like this…” she complained.

He had no answers for her. In her position, he would be bothered by it too, and yet if it came down to staying in bed or worsening the problem… no, he would probably get out of bed and try to do what he could. It was more than understandable, but given her importance, it was a risk no one was willing to take. Standing to leave, he spoke quietly. “I’ll take you out again tomorrow, I promise. No more waiting, just rest up for the night.” He told her.

Saying nothing, she watched as he disappeared from view. When she heard the door close, she flipped onto her stomach, stretching out lazily. Without much else to do, a nap was starting to sound like the most promising option for now.

* * *

 

A hand lightly shook her, and she rolled onto her back with a groan. Rubbing her eyes, she blinked a few times to adjust to the dim light. Sitting up, she finally looked for the source of the interruption. Thancred sat next to her, waiting until she was awake enough to function. He held a cup of tea, offering it to her in silence, staring at the floor. Yuuki took it, taking a sip before she spoke.

“Thank you.” She said with a yawn.

“It’s nothing…” something was clearly on his mind, and she recalled he wanted to talk to her.

Finally directing his attention to her, he hesitantly reached a hand out, patting her head. He was acting strangely, different from his usual demeanor. “Something on your mind?” she asked, needing to fill the awkward silence.

“Plenty. Though I doubt it’s a good time.” He told her, resting his head on his arms for a moment.

Ominous, but she wasn’t one to turn away someone who needed help. She set the tea down on a stand by the bed, gently tugging him down to rest on her lap. She could recall her mother doing the same thing when she was young, and it had always made her feel better. His eye closed, and he relaxed slightly, the feeling of her fingers brushing against the side of his head was soothing in a way he couldn’t remember ever feeling.

“You can tell me anything, I’ll listen.” She assured him.

Curling up a bit, he still said nothing. For now, it appeared that this was enough, or maybe he didn’t feel like it yet. Hard to say, though she didn’t mind if it helped at all. The girl was rough around the edges, but there was a tenderness to her that connected people to her easily. She lightly pulled the ties fastening his hair away, messing it up a bit.

“I like it better this way. I hope you don’t mind…” she mumbled.

Now that she had said that, he wasn’t quite sure if he minded or not. He hadn’t really been sure of anything in a long time, when he really thought about it. “No, it’s fine. Maybe I’ll keep it like this for a while.” He said, a hand lazily reaching to hold her waist.

That too, was familiar. For just a second, the image of herself sprung up again, clinging loosely to her mother in that same manner, like she was worried she would vanish if she didn’t.

“I worried about you. It hadn’t occurred to me how much I would miss not seeing you again if you…” he stopped, like it might jinx things if he finished that thought.

“I felt the same when I thought you had. The day we found you again, you can’t imagine my relief. Twice now, you’ve done that to me, so I guess this is unintentional payback.” She joked.

“My own weakness was the reason before, I can’t regret the last time. You got away in the chaos, so it had to happen.” He murmured.

“You gave me a real scare. I lost enough people for one lifetime.” She sighed, leaning back into the pile of pillows, getting comfortable.

“Strange to think of you as a mother. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I don’t believe you can do it, in another life, maybe…” he trailed off again.

That was a topic she still wasn’t ready to talk about, opting to remain silent instead. Truthfully, she wasn’t even sure what to say about it. It was strange to her too. He could tell she didn’t want to talk about it, deciding to change the subject. “Are you always this warm?” he asked

Glancing down for a moment, she nodded slightly. “For the most part. It works alright, I don’t like being cold much.” She started “So… ready to tell me the real reason you wanted to talk?”

She moved her hand away for a moment, but he grabbed it, bringing it back to his hair. “I was wondering… did you ever think of me that way?” he asked quietly.

She shrugged absently, tipping her head back in thought. “Thancred, you know I’m not great with feelings, I don’t know…” she mumbled nervously.

There was the door again. Hearing the steps, she turned her attention towards the stairs. Cullen rounded the steps, stopping when he noticed he was there. Bringing a hand to his hip, he looked at the man for a moment, the intent in her gesture was fairly obvious, everyone had made a point of mentioning how kind and understanding she was. Him though, he had yet to hear a story about him that didn’t involve a number of women. Naïve was a word they missed when discussing her nature. It was clear he was trying to get closer to her, and he wasn’t completely sure if she was even aware of it. He cleared his throat to make sure he knew that he was there. Thancred sighed, sitting up, sparing a glance to her.

“Thank you for talking with me. I’ll leave you two alone.” He said, excusing himself.

Waiting until he was sure he was gone, he gestured back to the door. “You realize he likes you, right?” he asked.

Yuuki shook her head in denial. “That can’t be right. Wouldn’t I know if that were true?” she countered.

Cullen buried his face in his hand for a moment, moving to sit next to her. Honesty was probably better in this situation. “Dear, not every man is clear in their intent. I can see it, it looks like you can’t.” he said, trying to be delicate about it.

Again, she denied it. “Why would he be interested in me? I’ve seen him hit on pretty much every girl he meets, by comparison, I’m not so great… I… well, you know, you were my first everything.” She murmured, staring at her hands.

It was irritating, talking about him. Kicking off his boots, he stretched out, bringing her closer. Laying her head on his chest, she heaved a sigh. It hadn’t been long since they had seen each other, but she missed him anyway. Kissing her brow, he smiled a little. “You’re my _only_ everything. “he said.

The annoyance fading, he relaxed a bit more. In many ways, the two of them were similar, and yet she had chosen him. Thinking too much about him would only take his focus off her. His hand moved to rest on her stomach for a moment, though it seemed to make her nervous.

“I… I’m sorry, did I hurt you?” he asked, concerned.

She shook her head, closing her eyes slowly. “No, it doesn’t hurt, not physically, anyway.”

“The options were limited. You shouldn’t beat yourself up over it. It isn’t as though you mean to discard it…right?” he remembered what she said, and for a moment, he was concerned.

She tensed at this, almost angry in her expression. “No! Gods no… I could never do such a thing…” she spat.

It was clear she found the very idea upsetting. Though he couldn’t see where the problem was for her. If she didn’t intend to do such a thing, and taking their pending marriage into consideration, the idea of having a family wasn’t too much of a stretch. His own hesitation had been in the act itself, not with the result. Not quite prepared to tell her, he was warming up to the idea fairly well. 

“I don’t understand what’s worrying you then. I’m not going anywhere, and I mean to take care of you.” he said, some small bit of embarrassment hidden in his tone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know. I might redo this chapter eventually.


	35. The Reward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen and Yuuki finally get married~

The next morning, she had gotten up early again. She seemed to be messing with some kind of bell, fixed on a stand. Rubbing his eyes slowly, he sat up, turning onto his side to watch her. His hand brushed against his chest idly, yawning quietly. She rang the bell once, raising a hand to her chin as she stood back and waited. Nothing seemed to happen right away, and he wasn’t quite sure anything was supposed to happen. in a flash of light, a figure appeared in the room, just as he had decided it was probably nothing but an ordinary decoration. He raised his eyebrows slightly, trying to decide what to make of the man that showed up.

“Good morning, mistress. What can I do for you?” he asked, bowing politely.

Yuuki tilted her head in thought, waving him down to speak with him privately for a moment. He couldn’t hear the conversation, but it was brief. Rummaging through a bag, he produced a package, handing it to her.

“Ahh, thank you Ven, you’re a life saver…” she said.

More awake now, Cullen took a good look at the man. He stood about three feet over her, guessing him to be around seven feet tall, or a bit over that. Like her, he had a black scaled tail and horns. Long, silver hair, with a single braid across his forehead. The scales marking his face were arranged differently, those at his chin looking like a beard in a way. He had narrow eyes, ringed in black, but otherwise white in color. He wasn’t quite sure who he was supposed to be, but it was only too obvious that he was Auri like her, Xaela by the way she had explained the differences.

“It’s nothing, Mistress, may I do anything else for you?” he asked.

On her instruction, he removed a few more items, including food and drinks. Perhaps a caterer of sorts? He glanced over her shoulder for a moment, and she turned to see what he was looking at. Realizing Cullen was up, she took a step back.

“Ahh… Cullen, this is Ven, he’s my retainer. He takes care of all sorts of things, item storage, short missions, he also sells things for me. Ven, this is Cullen, he…uh… also takes care of all sorts of things for me?” she said, unsure how else to introduce them.

Ven bowed again, an arm draped across his chest. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Master Cullen.” He said.

It was a bit uncomfortable to be addressed as such, but he assumed it was an Eorzean thing that he didn’t understand. Waving slightly, he nodded once while he tried to think of something to say.

“Nice to meet you too, Ven.” He mumbled.

His attention turned back to her, continuing the conversation. “Did you need any gil? Many of your items have sold, and there is a fair amount in the stores, if you wish.” He reported.

“No, not today, thank you. I think that will be all for now, I appreciate it.” She said.

“If you’re sure that’s all I can do for you; I’ll be off then. You know how to reach me.” He said, disappearing as quickly as he had arrived.

Setting everything down, she brought the tray over to him, smiling for a moment.

“I didn’t make this, but it should be fine. I thought you might like something decent for breakfast.” She explained, turning away to put a few things away.

“Thanks. So what’s in the package?” he asked curiously.

She blushed a little, not answering right away. Opening the wrapping, she looked over the contents carefully, like she did when inspecting something for quality. “I-it’s clothes. Auri clothes. Um…traditional clothing.” She mumbled nervously.

Laughing at the reaction, he raised an eyebrow. “Is it for today?” he asked.

She froze, biting her lip, glancing back at him shyly. Bringing her focus back to the outfit, she nodded. “Mhm…” she managed.

Whatever she had brought him was good, but he had yet to be disappointed with anything. Though he had given up on asking what it was, knowing the answer was usually something he had never heard of. “Are you going to put it on, or is that not allowed?” he questioned, unsure of the customs surrounding it.

Staring at the floor for a moment, he could see her tail waving slowly behind her, the steady thump echoing each time it struck her thighs. “I’ll put it on. There’s no reason not to.” She told him.

Turning away from him, she unbuttoned her blouse, shrugging it back off her shoulders. Unconcerned with where it fell, her hands slid down to her hips, pulling at the ties over her hips, her hakama dropping easily. Even without looking, she could tell he was watching. Bending low, she heard his breath quicken for just a moment. Balancing herself carefully, she tugged the loose shoes up, almost like sandals, barely connected to a layer of leather around her legs, cut away at the sides. At the back were white feathers, tipped in red. As she came back up, she withdrew the dress, medium black with white trim. Hips swaying slightly as she wiggled into it, pulling at the edges to smooth it out. The skirt was asymmetrical, stopping at her thighs, the body of it was form-fitting, made of the same leather as the boots, a black scaled belt loosely draped around her waist. The shoulders were black as well, armored, some manner of metal, complimented by loose layer of white fabric around her shoulders. Smoothing it out one last time, she turned to face him. Chuckling quietly, he gestured towards her for a moment.

“Almost looks like you’re ready for battle, not a wedding.” He commented.

Lofting a brow slightly, a smirk pulling at her lips, she nodded a little. “In a way, I suppose I am. Did you not find yourself wondering why the method is so simple?” she asked.

Now that she mentioned it, it was quite simple for something of this nature. “Yeah, I suppose I did.”

Leaning against the wall, she tipped her head back in thought. “I don’t think I’ve told you, but I’ve certainly mentioned it before. The Xaela are the warriors of the Auri, almost always engaged in combat with someone, marriages had to be quick, so they could take place in the battlefield.” She explained.

It was certainly not the answer he expected, but it did make sense. Though he had more questions springing up as a result.

“Have you seen a lot of combat before you left Othard?” he asked curiously.

“I told you before, my brothers taught me how to fight in secret? Auri girls of my tribe aren’t meant to see battle before their tenth nameday. He started teaching me when I was three, old enough to stand and walk, old enough to hold a blade. I got my first true taste of battle when I was six, though. Stalking prey as I was taught, I think it helped more than I expected.” She admitted, pressing her fingers to her lips as she thought back.

He had often wondered if thirteen was a bit young to leave home, as he did. Three years old was far too young in his mind. To her, it was just a part of growing up, nothing strange about it. Stooping down to place a small blade against her hip, he stole another glance, the barest suggestion of breasts visible at this angle. When she rose again, she tilted her head curiously. For a moment, she found herself trying to picture him in the garb traditional for Auri men. The best part was the harness, covering the chest, but leaving the rest exposed. Cullen had strong shoulders, and the lines of muscle down his stomach made her feel a way she couldn’t find the words to describe.

He set the now empty tray off to the side, getting up and coming towards her. He brought his hands to rest on her waist, bending to kiss her, his tongue easily slipping past her lips. It seemed harder to resist him now than usual, a shiver running through her when he pulled away. He spoke quietly, and yet his words are what surprised her, unusually bold.

“I plan to take it off you later…” he growled, glancing back to the door. “No interruptions this time.”

She stood on her toes, nipping softly at his ear. “I intend to drive you mad well before then...” she whispered, kissing down the side of his neck slowly, to make her point clear. Cullen gripped her tighter, frowning a little bit.

“If you keep that up, we won’t make it anywhere but back to bed…” he groaned.

* * *

 

With a concentrated effort, they managed to get out, gathering a few people in an empty room. When everyone got settled, he turned to her for a moment.

“Maybe you should go first, I’m not sure how this goes.” He said, a bit embarrassed.

Reaching for his hand, and the blade at her side, she glanced up, as if waiting for permission. Nodding to her, she made a small cut on his pinky, bringing it against her finger then, hooking them together tightly. Her face was flushed bright red, forcing herself to focus on him. Even as willing as she was, the words were hard to recall and felt strange, not accustomed to saying things like it.

“With this, I give my life to you, joined to you in this world and the world beyond…” she murmured softly.

He wasn’t sure if he was meant to say the same thing in reply, clearing his throat nervously while considering it carefully.

“I give my life to you, I vow to walk by your side forever and after.” He said, a hint of worry in his tone.

Cullen found himself hoping that was sufficient, wishing he had requested more specific instruction before. Yuuki slowly pulled apart from him, tucking the blade back in the sheathe, feeling around in the pouch at the side for a moment. As though taking a few moments to think it through, she took his hand once more, slipping a white band around it. Pre-empting any questions, she held her hand out, allowing him to take the one left in her palm, putting it on her finger.

“I…I got up early enough to make these. It isn’t much, but I thought it might mean more to you this way. “she admitted.

“It says a lot that you thought about what I might like. What is it?” he asked, unfamiliar with the material.

She bit her lip slightly before answering, hoping he wouldn’t find it unpleasant.

“Um… it’s dragon bone…” she mumbled.

Supposing he should have expected that, he took a deep breath, leaning down to kiss her, resting a hand against the small of her back. The sound of people talking reminding him of the small audience, he let go after a short time. The reaction was a bit unnerving to her, yet she didn’t mind as much as she imagined she would. Sweeping her into his arms, he carried her out to the hall and towards her room. If the morning had been any indication, she was certainly not as eager to leave it.


	36. Glissando

Cullen set her down long enough to lock the door, his hands gripping her ass tightly, lifting her. Fastening her legs around his waist, he carried her blindly up the stairs, almost falling into bed with her quite literally. Dipping her head down, she bit his lip lightly, slipping her tongue against his like she had been left in a desert, presented with water. His touch wandered up enough to push her skirt up along her back, sneaking under the band of the lacy black panties she wore, seizing her once more. Hands sliding down, she fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, for once grateful that he had opted not to wear his usual attire. Lifting his hips against her, he pressed her down, the heat between them rising. Yuuki broke away, swiping a path down his throat, diverting at the base to the side of his neck, biting lightly. Her nails tracing a delicate line down the center of his chest, further down his stomach, halting at the edge of his pants, pulling the smooth leather strings keeping them on.

Letting his touch wander lower, taking advantage of her distraction to slip a finger in, the sound she made muffled against his neck. Pulling at the thin cloth, easily tearing it away, he might be in trouble for it later, but it was worth it. A second digit sliding in, drawing a shaking breath when she sat up slowly, arms crossing her body, curling against her sides, the dress creeping upwards little by little. Not yet stopping, taking in the slow exposure with interest. When she managed to pull it over her head, he exhaled, not realizing he had been holding his breath for a moment. Freeing his hand, he grasped her waist securely, rolling quickly, bringing her to rest underneath him. Resting on her for a bit, he kicked away his boots, working to get his pants off quickly. Tossing her shoes off to the side last.

Leaning down, mouth closing over her nipple, reaching to cover her other breast, pinching lightly. Her eyes slid shut, panting softly as a mix of sensations welled up, spreading from her neck, down. Letting go for a moment, she caught him off guard, flipping over again before he had a chance to register what had happened. Seated comfortably against his hips, he shifted slightly. She was so close, the warmth spreading over him, if he moved just a little, he could…

It seemed she wanted to make it harder, grasping his wrists tightly, pushing them above his head. So the girl really was trying to drive him mad. Not being able to touch her was practically torture, combined with how worked up she had gotten him, it was more than unfair. There was mild satisfaction in the way he struggled against her hands, imagining this as a different kind of battle. Cullen had to admit to himself that he didn’t think she could hold him for long, the softness of her hands betraying a hidden strength. Twisting his hips underneath her, bucking his hips firmly, he managed to slip inside, the feeling offering a brief respite from the persistent throbbing, though that relief lasted only for a few seconds before he needed more. The sudden penetration provoking a trembling gasp. Staring down at him, she grinned broadly, teasingly rolling against him, intentionally slow. Maker, his usually timid girl was doing it on purpose, actually taunting him…

Everything she did seemed calculated, the way her chest pressed out, just a little out of reach, her firm hold on his hands, knowing how badly he wanted to touch her, and the maddeningly easy pace she maintained. Seeing the look on his face, she relented, leaning just a little closer. The slight change made a big difference, easily sliding against him harder, faster, biting her lip in an effort to stay quiet. It felt good, and yet, like this, making too much noise seemed like admitting defeat. Him, on the other hand, she _wanted_ to hear him, wanted to make him scream for her, the first time she could recall such a thought crossing her mind. Her change in position had brought her close enough now, raising his head enough to trap her nipple once more, tongue sweeping across and around slowly, sucking gently. Grinding against her harder, prying a soft groan from her.

She hadn’t meant to get close enough for him to reach her, though now that he had, she didn’t want him to stop. People had a need to prove themselves, it was a common thing, and she was willing to bet he would react to this. Even if he didn’t see it, he would be compelled to reassert his dominance. Wracked with shivers, a tingle racing through her, knowing she wouldn’t be able to hold back much longer. He moved in opposition to her, faster than she meant to, feeling her muscles pulling tight, panting heavily. Raw as her senses were, she couldn’t bring herself to stop. Cullen wouldn’t last long, the way he pulled at her grasp more desperate, knowing how to read him well enough by now. He was aching to hold her down for the last stretch, keep her as close as he could manage. His head tipped back, eyes squeezed shut, a low growl trapped in his throat, arching up into her. Gasping for air, the sound of her name on his lips sent a violent shiver down her spine, whimpering softly when he came. Shifting slightly side to side, she pulled away, stretching out lazily against him, finally letting his hands free.

He said nothing at first, lightly stroking her hair while she rested. Glancing up at him, she blushed deeply, the look in his eyes embarrassing to her. Laughing, he kissed her head. “Ahh, now it occurs to you to be shy, after all that.” He teased.

Burying her face against his chest, she made a soft sound of disapproval. “Remind me who it was who called out for me? Not me.” She countered.

Just the way she said it, he could tell she was sulking. His fingers ran the length of her back, lingering between her shoulders, smiling almost wickedly. “What was it you said? Something about payback? Though… perhaps you might enjoy it more if it _wasn’t_ painless.”

“You think you could manage that?” she joked.

In truth, it was less of a joke and more a way to prod him into acting on the threat. It wasn’t often that she thought about these things, though she found herself wondering more and more what he could do if he stopped holding back on her behalf. Gods, everything about him screamed ‘power’, and he insisted on treating her like she was breakable. It was something she wanted to see, or more accurately, to experience.

“I’m quite certain I could more than ‘manage’.” He assured her, a kind of confidence in his words that was unfamiliar to her.

“For your sake, you should hope not. Unless you plan to spend the rest of your life backing up those words.” She mumbled, almost too quietly to hear.

Whatever had come over her, it seemed to be ebbing away slowly. Yet, even if it vanished completely, it was burned into his memories already, something she couldn’t convince him to forget.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the French 'glisser', meaning to slide. An instruction to slide between a group of notes.


	37. Rallentando

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really not sure whether I'll change this chapter or not...

Looking around in silence, she cringed. A sea of black, tinged with red stripes.

“This isn’t your home; it’s not helping you to be here…” she mumbled to herself.

It felt like she was the only one who hated it. Glancing down, she pulled at the edges of the itchy uniform, adjusting the helmet. She didn’t want to be here, and it was becoming harder and harder not to lash out. The same things, every day, all the time, so monotonous. Turning her focus, she saw a young girl, not much older than she was, frightened. Being here angered her, spitting at one of the many faceless Imperials that passed. Kicking her down, the peon brandished a sword at her. Gods, she hated this part the most, she would resist with all she had, only to be cut down right there. It wouldn’t take much to reach her, but the knowledge that they might kill her instead held her firmly in place. Something pulled at her, a feeling she didn’t know, watching the blade raise, it would be over shortly. She shook her head, cursing her stupidity, dashing in between them. The man hesitated, and she took the opening, her loosely curled fist slamming against his chest, knocking him back. Not yet looking back, she breathed slowly.

“You. Give me your spear. Take the opening to get away…” she whispered to the girl.

She nodded, handing it over and slipping back into the gathering crowd. Spreading her stance, she gripped the spear, quickly eyeing the points and testing the balance. The man stood, taking up his sword once more. Having gained a will to fight, she sighed to herself, clicking slightly in disappointment. A new recruit, and not even a good one, his form was sloppy, with plenty of openings. Easy enough to disarm him, only disarm, she had already disrupted things this much, if she killed him, she would draw unnecessary attention to herself. Too much attention here rarely paid off, the higher-ups didn’t approve of in-fighting, and traitors were dealt with swiftly. Important to seem as loyal as she could manage, though the very idea was disgusting to her. Charging towards her, she rolled her shoulders, stepping lightly to the side. Waiting for him to turn back, she thrust the spear at him, watching it slip between the tines. When the steel met the base, she twisted her wrist, the motion hooking it in place. Swinging back, she wrenched it from his hands, hearing it land.

Yuuki sat up, rubbing her eyes for a moment to adjust to the darkness. Not the worst of the dreams she had had before, in fact, it hadn’t even been that which woke her up. No, tonight it was a crushing pressure that had disturbed her. Something was decidedly wrong, this feeling always overcame her before something happened.

“Can’t sleep either, hm?” he said.

That was unusual. She had actually managed to forget that Cullen had stayed with her again. Composing herself, her reply took a little longer than she intended it to.

“It’s nothing… “she mumbled, scraping her hair back from her face.

That strong sense of foreboding hadn’t diminished even a little, and it set her on edge.

“You know I can see you right? How long has it been now? It isn’t nothing.” He insisted.

Gods damn her and her inability to control her tells. Rolling onto her stomach, she folded her arms against the pillow, propping her chin to rest on them. There was no way to explain it, it was just a feeling and what it could mean escaped her. Certain he would expect a serious answer that she couldn’t provide, her shoulders pulled up in a shrug for a moment.

“I don’t know, okay? Something isn’t right, but it isn’t like I have all the answers to everything.” She grumbled.

He mimicked her positioning, eyes fixed on her as though waiting for more than that. It was late, and mostly everyone was likely to be in bed. Gesturing towards the door, he pushed himself to sit up.

“Would it help at all to get out for a bit?” he asked.

That required no thought at all, rolling over and sitting up almost instantly. Saying nothing, she slid out of bed, bending to grab her boots. When he was ready, he came around to the other side, holding his arm out in offering. Holding it, she followed his lead, slow at first, presumably to make sure they wouldn’t be stopped at the door like usual. Beyond that, his steps picked up in pace until they made it out to the yard, when he slowed once more. The first thing she did was look up, partially expecting to see an angry red orb in the sky. Nothing of the sort, the sky clear, dark, with stars spread across the black expanse. That was promising, at least the sensation didn’t seem to indicate an immediate threat. He took a seat on the steps, gently bringing her next to him. Running his fingers through her hair slowly, she felt light tugging. It wasn’t painful, so it didn’t occur to her to question the reason, figuring he was doing his best to distract her.

“It’s odd, how this place is so busy all day, but at night, it’s like no one was ever here…” he sighed peacefully.

“Quiet too, I like it.” She answered.

Replacing the tie that had held her hair back, his fingers brushed along one last time, making sure it was just right. It felt different, compelled to feel it for herself.

“Cullen… did you braid my hair?” she questioned, both impressed and curious about where he learned it.

“I did. You… don’t mind, do you?” his arms resting against her shoulders then.

“No, I don’t mind. I’ve never had anyone besides Jandelaine fix it, I like it.” She assured him, closing her eyes.

“Before you think about it too hard, remember I have two sisters. “he said with a slight chuckle, anticipating her curiosity.

That made sense. Her sister was quiet, and didn’t seem to interact with her as much as her brothers had. Perhaps it was the same, her brothers toughened her up, and his sisters instilled a gentler side to him that he otherwise might lack. In many ways, Cullen shared a lot of similar experiences with her, and it was nice to have someone who understood how she felt and thought where others couldn’t. Stretching out along the steps, she got as comfortable as she could on the cold stone, undeterred by the edges pressing into her. Searching the skies in silence for a time, she drew lines between the stars.

“You know, I’ve always liked the world the best at night, like this.” She commented.

“So I’ve heard. What I don’t know is why you enjoy it so much.” He said.

Maybe it was just him, but it seemed almost lonely. Like realizing you were completely alone in the world.

“It’s hope to me. Like proof that no matter how dark things get, light always manages to shine through…” she murmured, blushing a little.

It was a terribly romantic notion, the kind she rarely entertained. Even now, it was difficult to embrace ideals like that. It seemed to fall in the domain of childish things, and it was embarrassing to admit it even to herself. Sentimental girls were seen as weak, and that was unacceptable to her. Although, she was making an effort to adjust, for his sake, recalling that he had made passing mention on several occasions that he wished she would rely on him a little more. Sighing to herself, she shifted her position yet again, laying along the steps, resting her head in his lap. It was surprising, though not unpleasant, his hand lightly stroking the side of her face, twisting loose strands of her hair.

“Are you getting tired?” he asked curiously.

As much as she detested the idea of falling asleep without any progress in uncovering the source of the ill feeling, she found that she was getting sleepy. Too relaxing like this, he was warm, his scent calming.

“I suppose I am.” She admitted with some reluctance.

Circling her in his arms, he picked her up slowly, moving to stand. Ascending the stairs, he walked through the empty halls back towards her room.

“I know you don’t really want to go, but it is better to get you back before everyone wakes up.” He said, knowing he’d also get another lecture for breaking rules he helped set in place.

When he set her back in bed, part of her thought he might leave. It must have shown in her face, the look of concern he directed towards her a good indicator. He pulled her boots off, kicking his to the side as well before crawling in next to her. As if to remove any worry, he pulled her close, momentarily distracted by how well they fit together. There was a tone of caution in her voice, as though unsure.

“You know I love you, right?” she mumbled.

Leaning over her a bit more, he stole a quick kiss, smiling when he moved away.

“I love you too.” He assured her.

Even so, he still found himself in disbelief that she would choose him over anyone else. Whether among her old friends or new, there were plenty of people who he felt would have been more deserving, or at least catch her eye more than him. He didn’t rely on luck much, preferring to think such things were in the realm of destiny, but with her, he couldn’t help but think he really was lucky to have her. What she couldn’t bring herself to tell him was how glad she was that he chose her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rallentando: an instruction to gradually play slower.
> 
> If it's not obvious by now, I like music. A lot.


	38. Surprise!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm giving the credit for the idea of this chapter to Gwyn Stark-Rogers, it was glorious.

Pacing back and forth, he raked his fingers through his hair for about the twentieth time in the last few minutes. Every four rounds, like clockwork, he glanced at the door. No one was telling him anything, not that it would have done much good. He had no experience with this manner of situation, the one thing making him feel a little better was that he was certain no one else really knew either. That was probably what the healers were for, at least that was the only thing that seemed to make any kind of sense. Cullen regretted his reaction instantly, it had taken precious little time for the story to make it around camp, and back to him in the form of jokes. Humor was fine, though not so much when he was the reason people were laughing. Things had started out normally, as normal as could be hoped for, anyway.

* * *

 

Standing in the doorway to the bathroom, toweling off in silence. That was the catalyst, like that, water rolling along her body, following the drops downward. Embarrassing how quickly he had managed to find himself lost in his imagination again. Crossing the room to her side, she looked up at him, and as he so often did, he found himself fixating on her lips. Light peach in color today, dipping down to kiss her, gently at first. Pressing her against the frame, he tilted her head up, his tongue probing hers slowly. His hand slipped around to the small of her back, trailing his fingertips through the droplets. Breaking away from her, Cullen took a quick look around, as if expecting someone to be standing there. Turning his attention back to her, he guided her towards the couch, stretching out lazily, bringing her to sit next to him.

Leaning against her slightly, she winced, shifting a little to relieve the discomfort. It had concerned him, unsure what exactly had happened.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

She nodded, the feeling passing fairly quickly. “I’m fine, it’s nothing to worry about.”

Trying to gauge the situation, it didn’t seem like she was just saying it for his benefit. Putting it out of his mind, he managed to catch her at the right moment, his fingers brushing along the edge of her ear. Tucked behind her horns and often buried under her hair, like an afterthought, she squirmed at the touch.  Maneuvering carefully, he slid her hair out of the way, whispering to her like a secret no one else was meant to hear. The combination of his warm breath and the things he said making her blush, an almost imperceptible moan escaping.

“Looks like I found a weak spot…” he teased.

She hid her face in her hands shyly, like he might disappear and spare her the sudden embarrassment. A slight warm trickle adding to it. He had barely touched her, and the idea that she could have such a strong reaction from so little was nearly shameful.

“I have no such things!” she protested, peeking just between her hands.

Grasping her hands, he pried them apart, aiming for her neck, biting lightly at first, blowing softly on the mark, chuckling quietly when she shuddered.

“No? Then what about here…” he murmured.

She shook her head in denial, failing utterly to maintain her composure. “N-no… that, that’s definitely not true…” she stuttered.

If she blushed any brighter, she could pass for a lantern, very nearly. Trying to hide it only managing to deepen his interest. Returning back to her lips, deciding to give her a short reprieve. His hand brushed against her thigh, and he could tell that something was off. She was easy to turn on, he had found, but that she was soaked from next to nothing didn’t seem possible. Pulling away again, he glanced down, backing away nervously. Looking down, she panicked as well, without noticing, that trickle hadn’t stopped, and in fact was getting worse. Getting up, quickly, he grabbed the towel from the floor, draping it over her. He scratched the back of his head, pacing back and forth nervously, trying to decide what he was supposed to do for this.

“Shit…” he began “I broke you, Maker, I’ve broken you…”

She laughed, though she immediately wished she hadn’t, finding it only made it worse. Pushing herself to stand, she squeezed her legs together, her head turning towards the door. It opened just a crack, and the guard poked her head in curiously.

“Is there a problem, Your Worship?” she asked.

Cullen buried his face in his hands, heaving a sigh, the vain hope that she hadn’t overheard what he said crossing his mind. Returning to his senses, he shook his head.

“Go get someone, the person, you know who I mean.” He stated, failing to think of the word he was looking for.

“Healer.” Yuuki interjected.

The door closed loudly, fading footsteps echoing through the corridor. Gods, how long did it take to find someone, it already felt like an eternity had passed, and it was definitely not feeling any better. Cullen’s profuse apologies weren’t easing her mind either, in fact, it was just making her more nervous. If anything, it was making her feel even more stressed. The door opened again, and without much warning, they had hauled her away, leaving him alone and confused before it occurred to him to follow.

* * *

 

That had been earlier in the day, it was getting dark out, and he still had no idea what was going on. Stopping mid-step when the door opened, he held his breath. His stomach sank, the idea that it could be bad news etched firmly into his thoughts. Before he had a chance to say anything, or even consider what he might say, the figure in the door waved him in.

“She’s resting now, but you can come in now.” She said.

He wasted no time, dashing into the room to see her. Taking a seat next to her, he smiled, she was fine, though she looked exhausted.

“Congratulations, Commander!” a voice called cheerfully.

Turning towards the sound, the woman handed a small bundle to him. Looking at it for a moment, he pulled the blanket away slightly, a pair of amber eyes staring back up at him, a small tuft of blonde visible around the edge. Brushing the hair away, he saw the familiar diamond arrangement of scales.

“It’s a girl.” The woman told him.

He couldn’t bring himself to look away, even as he spoke. “Does she have a name?” he asked.

“The Lady called her ‘Kimiko’, said it was a good, strong name.” she answered pleasantly.

Cullen pushed the blanket back a little bit further, curiosity getting the better of him. As he thought, two little horns on either side of her head, though considerably less scales marked her face and neck than Yuuki’s. Readjusting it, he finally looked up.

“Does she…” he began.

“Have a tail? If that was the question, yes, she does.” She told him.

Whether she did or didn’t hardly mattered, what did matter was that she was alright. She pushed herself to try and sit up, though he quickly discouraged her.

“I should get up…” she mumbled quietly.

Considering everything, it hardly surprised him that she was already trying to move around. Stubborn was a word that described her well. It hadn’t taken as much effort to convince her to rest as he imagined it might, so that was something.

“No getting up yet. If it has to be, that’s an order.” He stated.  

“If you insist.” She sighed.

Despite knowing that he couldn’t technically order her to do anything in any official capacity, she knew better than to argue with him. Cullen could be just as stubborn, if not more where she was concerned, and even with her best effort, she gave in far too easily. In all honestly, she was far too tired to argue, and he looked too happy to spoil the mood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, here's the name:  
> 君子 (Kimiko) Means noble child. No spoilers.


	39. Idle Times

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally released from her constant guard, Yuuki spends some time with Thancred after hearing some upsetting news from home.

Tentatively, the restrictions had been released, and Yuuki wasn’t planning on wasting anymore time sitting about in bed. Even her linkpearl had been taken from her, and she was certain that she had missed a lot of news, maybe even worried some of her friends. Dashing out into the yard, she stopped. Thancred was there, which by itself was no reason to be concerned in her mind. What was worrisome was the look on his face. He looked sadder than she had ever seen him, and it hurt to see him like that. The risk of Cullen seeing her with him was fairly low, kept busier with the baby and his work. Though apparently in the months she had been laid up, the problem of Samson’s armor had managed to sort itself out without her. The end of things was clearly in view now.

Rounding the pillar he stood behind, he jumped when she placed her hand on his arm. A faint smile appearing when he saw her.

“Hey Yuu.” He said quietly.

He couldn’t hide it from her, he had been struggling not to break down. The reason remained a mystery, however.

“Thancred. You’re not looking so great, are you alright?” she asked.

He stood tall, as though trying to play it off, but with one step, the façade wore away. He stumbled, and she caught him, gripping his shoulders to keep him steady. Looking down at her for a moment, he bent slightly, his head resting against hers, arms folding around her almost too tightly.

“No. I’m not alright. I received word that Minfilia has gone missing, and there’s not a single trace of her to be found.

She couldn’t tell the reason, but Minfilia had always been important to him. It made sense that her sudden disappearance made him so upset. Sighing a bit, she slipped her arms to his back, making gentle circles against the middle of his back. It wasn’t often that people were so readily vulnerable around her, and comforting others seemed to come naturally to her. If this helped, it was a small kindness.

“I… shouldn’t offer this, I really shouldn’t. There’s a bit of downtime, I could… I could ask for a little more time away from my duties and we could go back. We could find her. Time moves differently here, for now, maybe forever. If we leave soon enough, it wouldn’t be very long before we’d be back.” She said, almost hesitant to make such an option available.

Tearing a hole between worlds always carried a risk, and she had a bit to concern herself with now. Again, Cullen came to mind. The two of them, stealing away to her home world would never sit well with him, but he had much to do here, and this time, she couldn’t ask him to come with willingly. Even Cid and the others were too busy trying to fix the world alignment issues, and Wedge had made it his personal mission to upgrade what he could around the hold. Skyhold was magnificent, but so very outdated compared to what she was used to.

“I can’t ask that of you, Yuu. Not with your little girl needing you. Savior of two worlds or not, it’s too much. Not to mention no one is actually certain if Halone still resides in you. Seven hells, if she is, and you try that, you could die. You realize what Cullen would do to me if you came to harm under my care? I’m not exactly ready to die just yet. Though… it was sweet of you to offer. No, I’m certain between Alphinaud and Y’shtola, they’ll locate her on their own…” he sighed.

He said no, but the “Yes” was written all over him, and to let it go seemed a poor idea. Leaving him out here with his thoughts was also a terrible idea though.

“Hey… Come with me. My room is the last place I want to be right now, but my stuff is there. I’ll make you some tea, maybe that and a few ginger cookies would help.” She offered.

Glancing around, as if checking for the Commander before he accepted, he nodded. “That, I will take you up on.” He stated, following a few paces behind her.

Even without his magic, she could tell his skills had not diminished. She hardly noticed his presence, veiled in shadows that barely existed. Clearly, he cared what might be said about her if he was seen with her. Nice of him to worry, but she had never really put stock in the words and thoughts of others, not in so many years. Reaching the door to her room, a sense of relief overcame her that there were finally no guards posted outside. She gestured to the breezy couch at the foot of her bed and he took a seat. Gathering her things, she set about to making tea and cookies, singing under her breath as she did.

“What are you singing?” he questioned.

“Ahh… it…it’s nothing. An old Auri song. It… helps. Keeps my mind from dwelling on things I’d rather not think about.” She answered.

“That reminds me. Keeping your mind off of things, I mean. When was the last time you actually danced?” he pressed.

Tilting her head in thought, she gave an idle shrug. “Before you disappeared, surely.”

“That long? I daresay you might find that comforting as well. It would be a nations-wide tragedy if you forgot how.” He joked.

Finishing up, she put away her things, taking a seat beside him on the couch. He took the hot cup eagerly, shivering mildly.

“I doubt it would be so drastic. I wasn’t aware people really took notice anyway.” She replied casually.

“I noticed. Alphinaud seemed to notice even more. Poor boy, you had him sweating.” He teased.

That he had a bit of a less than composed and formal side was no great secret. Krile had enlightened the few gathered Scions to some rather… sordid tales from his days as a student. Granted, nothing terrible, but in his mind it had been. Composing and reading poetry to girls he fancied was certainly not in line with the Alphinaud she knew.

“He’s at a sensitive time in his growth. It’s natural.” She murmured, taking a sip.

Laughing at that, he took a second from the conversation to sneak a cookie. “Is it? I don’t remember you going through that. You’re the same age, after all.” He said.

Hiding her face against her sleeves, she blushed. “I… That’s true, we are, but that doesn’t make it the same for us. I’ve still got a few months before that time.” She mumbled nervously.

Taking a drink, he smiled a little. It was hot, and thawed the bitter cold away. Glancing over, he shrugged. “You know; I’m not above teasing you further to get you to stop hiding. With the exception of Cid, you’ve known me longer than anyone, that shy bit is cute, but there’s hardly a reason for it. I’ve no intention of hurting you.” He assured her, reaching a hand up to ruffle her hair lightly.

An awkward topic suddenly coming to mind, she stared into the ripples in her cup. Good thing they were alone, very few people understood Eorzean friendship and the lack of boundaries that came with it. Too easy to take things the wrong way.

“That reminds me, I meant to ask. I apologize for such an… uncomfortable topic. Compared to your reputation, you’ve hardly ever flirted with me. Even when you had the chance to do more than just talk, you didn’t take it. Why is that?” she asked.

It wasn’t that she wanted him like that, it just seemed a bit unusual that a man well known for having a way with words, that he had so few for her.

He frowned slightly, directing his attention to the plate of cookies between them. The look on her face was, even now, the gentlest expression.

“I…well, that is to say…I mean…” he stuttered, struggling to put thought to word. “I mean to say, you’re a lovely woman, truly. It isn’t like I’ve not _wanted_ to say more, but you… you’re worth more than shallow flattery. As to why I couldn’t… Again, not that I didn’t want to, just that… you’re too good. I didn’t want you to think that was my goal this whole time. I mean, to be fair, had I really wanted that, I could have had you several times over since Thanalan. I couldn’t bear it if you came to hate me.” He admitted.

It bothered her to be told she was good. With so much regret stored inside her, mingling with pain constantly, she didn’t want to hear that from anyone. “Thancred… don’t. You’ve seen what I am, what I’ve done. I’ve ended the lives of people with families, friends, without a second thought, for no reason other than ‘they were in my way’ I have far too much blood on my hands to be truly “good””

Same old song she’d always sung. She held onto everything for far too long, and the idea that she suffered in silence this whole time, with the weight of two worlds planted firmly on her shoulders was sad. She stared at him, as if she had more to say, lips just barely parted in a way that suggested she was about to speak. He picked up a cookie and lightly pressed it between her lips, grinning.

“Shut up and eat, Yuu. You’ll never convince me that you’re anything but a good girl. I can’t speak for others, but at least it’s that way for me.” He said. “Though… I can give you a little something to ease your mind – My Lady.”

It was said teasingly, presumably out of the thought that maybe it bothered her a little that he didn’t spoil her with attention, though he knew better. He grabbed the tea cups, setting them safely out of the way. Grabbing her hips, he pulled her to lie back, before placing his hands on either side of her. Leaning in, her breath caught, face flushing brightly as he moved closer. Tilting his head, now close enough to feel his breath against her skin, he smiled, eye fixed firmly on hers. Her heart was beating rapidly now, unsure what he intended to do, and by extension, unsure how to react, almost frozen in place while her mind desperately sought a solution. His lips parted, and she squirmed a little, the uncertainty creating a sense of nervousness in her. Biting down, he pulled away, taking half the cookie with him, smirking a little as he pulled away, moving to sit back down by her. Struggling to compose herself, she sat up, palm pressed to her chest with a deep breath.

“Haha, exactly what I was expecting from you. That was adorable.” He said, trying to make her blush a little brighter.

It was good that his thoughts diverted from the situation at hand, the sadness faded almost completely, replaced by something far less painful to see. Turning slightly, she laid her head on his lap, draping her legs over the edge of the couch. She had another interesting question on her mind, the reverse of which she had posed to Cullen on the way back from Eorzea.

“What if we couldn’t get back?” she asked quietly.

The whole scenario in front of him was already odd enough without the question, but he could take a guess at what she wanted. Reaching down, he busied himself with stroking the side of her head lightly while he considered the question. There was plenty he would miss, but what would he actually do about it. Some of their friends were here already. Assuming they were stuck too, it wouldn’t be so bad, at least it could always be worse.

“I think I could live with that. The real question is if you could.” He countered.

There wasn’t a moment of hesitation in her answer. “Well, you’re here, Cid, Biggs, Wedge, even Urianger. Not to mention the new friends I’ve made. I would be sad, certainly, but I’d live with it.”

“Even if you never get your revenge, you could be happy in a place like this?” a hint of disbelief in the question.

“I wouldn’t have much choice, would I? Besides, as much as I hate to admit it, unless I destroyed every castrum, every imperial, everything…I don’t think I’d ever feel justice had been done. I can’t do that by myself, the Twelve know I’ve tried. Gaius is gone, Livia, Rhitatyn, all the important jerks, and still, the castrums are full of imperials.” She sighed.

Not a hopeful prospect, the idea that even without leaders, there were enough peons to make the task nigh impossible by herself. To say nothing of those still in Garlemald. The Empire’s reach had largely been halted since before she arrived here, but it was far from over. To be honest, she couldn’t even say with any true certainty if Gaius or even Nero were truly gone for good. Nero at least had made some effort to act like he had changed, but whether he had or if it was a trick, she didn’t know. Hearing a sound like someone pushing at the door, she sat up curiously, waiting to see who it was. Moments later, Josephine came up the steps, carrying Kimiko carefully.

“See? Aunt Josie told you she would bring you back to Mama safely.” She cooed.

Full of surprises, that one. Humans were odd, that much was sure. Not even technically related, her and Leliana both had insisted on addressing themselves as ‘Aunt’, despite absolute certainty that the baby didn’t understand what they were saying yet. Yuuki prepared to stand, but Thancred intervened, reaching for her. It made her nervous, but she trusted him, sitting back down, though ready to spring at any second. Josephine quickly excused herself, possibly to return to work. When she left, Yuuki gave him a look that spoke volumes, without a word.

“I suspect you’re curious why I decided to hold her. I… well, in different circumstances, I suppose she would have been mine, right? I… just wanted to see what it’s like. Though I must say, she looks more like Cullen than you. Poor thing.” He said with an almost awkward laugh.

She hadn’t really considered that, but he wasn’t wrong. Had Cullen not changed his mind… well, it wasn’t the case, and the very idea made her feel strange in a way she couldn’t quite figure out. Of course the matter of dealing with Corypheus was important at this point too, so close to victory that she could smell the wild lavender in her front yard already. Yet, the idea that what seemed to be waiting for her there was quickly spiraling into chaos once again had her on edge.


	40. Pain Lingers On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this chapter is a little weird, but it seems to be alright, I think.

She pulled her hood down over her face, heaving a sigh. It was bittersweet, the warmth she had been hoping for all but gone, replaced by memories she meant to forget.

“I take it then you’re not happy to be back. I don’t blame you. I’m not either.” Thancred mumbled.

He too, felt almost cold since they had come back. It had taken a lot, but Cullen had agreed to let her come back for a short time with Thancred to try and find a trail to follow.

“I wanted this, and now that I have it… it hurts.” She sighed.

Before they left, she had given Cullen a linkpearl so they could keep in contact and updates could be provided, to ease his mind. That he could hear everything made little difference to her, she had nothing to hide.

“Alphinaud would be the one to speak to. Should be at Fortemps Manor still.” He said.

Hanging her head, she pressed on blindly. She knew the way by heart, though she could hardly be enthusiastic about the pending reunion. Going there meant facing what she had begun to put out of her mind.

“I don’t suppose you’d fetch him outside for me?” she asked.

“You have to get past it. Learn to live with it, everyone else has to.” He muttered.

It stung, like a knife wedged in her heart. She understood what he was going through, and yet that alone did nothing to soften the statement. He was right, and that was probably what hurt the most. Halting a short distance from the manor, she cringed, wringing her hands as she approached the door. The guard outside smiled when he saw them, bowing deeply.

“Mistress Homura, welcome back. May I escort you in?” he asked kindly.

She had meant to say thank you, and yet she couldn’t even tell if her mouth was moving, the disconnect so strong and sudden that nothing was registering as it should. Taking his arm, he opened the door, leading her inside. Alphinaud too, smiled when he saw her, though it faded quickly when he noticed the way she looked. The guard returned to his post outside, a quick glance also revealing that Thancred had also left as well. Alphinaud reached a hand out, hand resting on her shoulder for a moment.

“I know how you must feel. I am glad you’ve returned, however. I hate to do this to you, but Y’shtola believes she may have a lead for you to follow. She’s in Idyllshire, I would have you go on ahead of me, and I will meet you there.” He said.

Without a word, she turned and ran out, eager to get away before she got stuck in her mind again. It was a quick trip via aetheryte, allowing for near instant travel. Asking around for her, she gained a few leads. Aphinaud’s information hadn’t been entirely correct, she was outside of the small town. By the time she found her, Krile, Thancred and Y’shtola had already gathered together, following along with her to a slightly safer location.

“So, talk. Where are we going and what is this lead?” she asked a bit hesitantly.

“Matoya’s cave. We managed to track her to the aetherial sea, but our best chance of pinpointing her location involves going into the Antitower, and Matoya is the keeper of it. We’re going to ask her for permission to go in. “Y’shtola stated calmly.

Her linkpearl crackled slightly, and a voice came through. “Mistress Homura, I’ve only just found out about your arrival. Your timing is fortuitous, when you have the time, I would like to meet with you.”

It was Ser Aymeric. She was technically only supposed to stay long enough to find Minfilia, but perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to stay long enough to see what he needed. If it was a big problem, she could always run it by Cullen, and see if Josephine and Leliana minded.

* * *

 

 

When they arrived, permission had easily been obtained to enter, and yet she had been sent in alone. Instructed to take Thancred with her, Y’shtola had quickly protested. The densely packed aether would only make him weaker, maybe even kill him in his condition. His own personal willingness had made little difference. Pulling her off to the side as she was preparing to go in, he kept his voice down, so the others couldn’t hear the conversation.

“Yuu… come back, okay? Do whatever it takes to bring Minfilia back, but… don’t put yourself at risk if you can help it. My condition is one thing, but without certainty of _your_ condition, you need to be careful. “he told her.

 She nodded slightly, opening her bag quietly. Dark Knight made the most sense and posed the least risk to her, and yet the pent up aggression she had been holding onto desperately sought release. She reached in, pulling out her gun.

“Thancred, Do me a favor, go talk to Aymeric for me. See what he needs, and help him if you can, whatever he needs. Tell him I’ll stop by after I’m done here.” She instructed. Pressing a finger to the linkpearl, she smiled a little. “I take it you heard that too? Things are going quickly enough; I think I can manage this easily enough to get back on time.”

“Yes, I heard. Do whatever you have to do. Try not to take too long, and stay safe.” Cullen said.

“I’ll do my best.” She said, pausing until she was inside to continue. “I miss you already. I love you both.” She murmured.

* * *

 

She had managed to clear much of the tower with little difficulty. What she saw when she rounded the last corner had startled her. She must have made a strange sound, the static that said someone was about to speak interrupting her shock.

“What’s the matter?” Alphinaud asked.

“I…it’s nothing, there’s just… a lot of sentient, rather creepy dolls here.” She said.

“Do you not like dolls or something?” he persisted.

“I like them just fine. I don’t like these ones, there’s something… sinister. It feels wrong. This… is some manner of abomination, I can feel the darkness here.” She sighed.

“An abomination? I thought you said things were different there!” Cullen scolded then.

Perhaps she hadn’t considered her words carefully enough. “Not that kind, Commander. Not every horror involves demons. I kind of wish it did, that’s easy to deal with.” She replied.

They began to dance and move, and she put as much distance between them as she could, squinting as she stared through the crude guiding lines. One by one, they fell, quite easily. Not even enough effort to work up a sweat.

“Never mind, it was nothing after all.” She sighed.

 Turning to leave the room, she felt a strong blow to her back, flying back across the room. Grunting from the impact, she pushed herself to stand, spinning on her heel to see what had struck her. Striking another blow against her face this time, she fell back. Staring up, she swallowed hard, scrambling to pick her gun back up. The dolls had merged, forming a gigantic version of itself, silver in color. Missing the dress that the little ones had worn, dead eyes staring down at her. Her hand hovering over the weapon, a crushing pressure against her hand stopping her from gripping it. Shifting her position as best as she could manage, her other hand grasped it, leg swinging upward to knock it back away from her.

“Yuuki, what’s going on?!” Y’shtola shouted.

“Can’t talk now, this thing is keeping me busy!” she stated.

Keeping herself moving to maintain her distance, her shots were losing accuracy, most missing completely, the few that connected, a minor inconvenience. She couldn’t keep this up, any chance of winning required her to stand still and concentrate. Taking a stand, she faced the creature, firing round after round, as quickly as she could manage. It stopped moving towards her, at least, problem was that it seemed to be doing something. Within moments, she figured it out, swarmed again by the little dolls, forcing her attention off the big one to deal with them. Again, the little ones went down fairly quickly, though before she could turn her attention back, she felt another strike, sliding back. This was taking far too long. Her best chance was that specific move, the one saved only for emergencies. A satellite rose above her, directing itself towards the monstrous doll, firing a molten laser beam into it, the resulting explosion powerful enough to bring it down. This time, she was smart enough to observe it for a bit before moving to leave. It seemed plenty dead, safe to press on. Her back turned, she felt a sting, then a sudden warmth in the center of her chest. Glancing down, panicked by what she saw. A metal rod, through her chest. Hesitating, she tugged on the end, which surprisingly, slid through easily. Thankfully, it appeared to have damaged only the skin and muscle, having fortuitously struck through the spot of bone that never healed. Still, it was bleeding pretty heavily, and without access to proper healing spells, it was a matter of temporary treatment. Rummaging through her bags, she pulled out the strongest potion she had, downing it quickly. Enough for now to close the wound, which was enough for her to press onward.

Best not to worry anyone for now, especially not this close. A few steps, however, and a sudden throbbing in her head dropped her. Hydaelyn greeted her, a familiar sight, but what else she saw was the truly interesting development. Minfilia was there, yet she didn’t seem to be herself. Floating freely while they spoke, the things she said only made her heart sink. In a sense, the one thing she had come to accomplish was a complete, utter failure. Though she didn’t outright say it, the Minfilia she knew had ceased to exist, and this was just the last remnants. Forced to deliver yet more bad news, and to people who had desperately held out hope of a warm reunion.

* * *

 

When she returned to her body, she pushed herself to stand. The sound of people excitedly speaking to her via linkpearl only served to hurt her more. She didn’t bother to reply, making the trek back to the cave. Out of combat safely now, she switched to her healer, working to better heal her injuries while she walked. The last thing she needed was to cause further concern about her wellbeing. At the door, she walked back in, but breezed past her friends, saying nothing still. Teleporting away, she heard strained voices begging her for news, to come back, or at least say where she had gone. She stumbled through knee deep snow towards her destination, a detour of sorts.

At the ridge, she sighed, taking a seat next to the monument. Pulling her knees up, she folded her arms across them, resting her head for a bit. It was already dark out, and she knew she probably should have gone to her meeting, and yet she couldn’t even imagine taking another step. Lifting her head finally, she brought her gaze towards the cold stone, speaking quietly.

“I’ve been moving in circles my whole life, haven’t I? Everything is always the same, and it all ends like this. I’m beginning to think I’m cursed. I’ve done everything I can, and it still goes this way.” She sighed, brushing away the snow.

“Yuuki, can you hear me?” Y’shtola asked.

As though she hadn’t heard it, she ignored it. “I wish you could answer me. You would know what to say. I think I’m sabotaging myself, always stuck in the old hurts, the pain and agony somehow became so ingrained, I wonder if I’m scared of what happens if I let it all go. I’m broken, and I don’t know that there’s a place for me after all of this.” She said, wiping away a few stray tears that had slipped.

“You’re not broken.” A voice said.

Tearing away, she frowned a little. Thancred had found her. Moving to stand up, she pressed her palm to her chest for a moment, walking past him. He gripped her wrist, pulling her back. Reaching for her other hand, he pulled it away, his expression angry.

“You’re hurt, and you couldn’t be bothered to say anything about it?” he scolded. "Seven hells, Yuu, I can see right through you, this isn't just something to ignore!"

“I’m fine. I fixed it as best as I could for now. There’s more to do.” She mumbled.

Surprising that Cullen hadn’t said anything about that, but perhaps he could be doing something important and left it at his desk. That was possible, though she had to admit she was glad for the lack of yelling. Thancred kept a firm grip on her, making sure she wouldn’t get away, teleporting back to Ishgard. Expecting that he might march her right to Aymeric’s office for the meeting, it troubled her that they turned towards the inn. He headed for the room reserved for her, tossing her down on the bed a bit roughly, no other actual furniture around. His hand fell to his side, grabbing one of the blades, staring down at her.

“Open it up, I’d rather not cut such nice armor.” He ordered.

It frightened her a little to see him like this, even more knowing he was always armed with something, and very skilled. Had he made an attempt to hurt her, she wouldn’t be able to do much like this. Sighing some, she carefully pried it off, setting the damaged leather piece to the side, glancing down. At some point, her wound had reopened. His expression lightened, taking a seat next to her, his magic might be gone, but he could still help the old fashioned way.

“This will definitely hurt. You’ll just have to deal.” He told her.

His time alone had taught him to always carry medical supplies, especially when half the means to take care of yourself was gone. Laying everything out, his eye fixed on hers for a moment.

“Thancred… tell me honestly, what’s with covering your eye, are you okay?” she asked, trying to distract herself.

“Does it make you uncomfortable?” he asked.

She shrugged, turning her focus towards the bed. He had been threading a needle, stopping long enough to reach up, pulling away the cloth. She wasn’t given long to react, falling back with a gentle push. Bending lower, he didn’t look up, pressing the needle through the skin. Stifling a whimper, he frowned.

“You know, had you actually said something instead of just running off, Y’shtola could have already fixed this. Stubbornness is fine, but not all the time.” He lectured. “I hope you don’t mind a scar.”

Yuuki stared at the wall, not willing to watch. Blood and things of the sort hardly bothered her, but watching her skin knit together was asking a bit much. After he had finished stitching her up and cleaning up the blood, she turned over on his order, her back significantly less sensitive to pain.

“I couldn’t stand being around anyone. I can’t bear the looks.” She said. “If a scar is the worst of it, that’s a small price to pay for letting my friends and family down.”

“So she’s really gone? Was there no way to save her?” he asked.

Not surprising that he would know, he was terribly perceptive. “No. She was little more than an after image. There’s barely anything left to her. I’m sorry… to you, most of all.”

“Yuu. I think you may have the wrong impression of what was between us. We grew up together, if you’re imagining some grand relationship, it couldn’t have been further from the truth.” He explained.

Patting her lower back to let her know it was safe to move, she sat up, sighing at the damage to her gear. As much as she wanted something comfortable, it would still be better to don proper armor. Struggling a little with residual pain, she slid into a different piece, hoping that the fine leather could still be salvaged.

“I’m not sure why you would tell me that. If there was or wasn’t something between you, isn’t that your business?” she asked curiously.

“Maybe I just care what you think. It matters that you don’t imagine me as some amoral loser who just happens to be your friend.” He said, carefully helping her up. “Now get to your meeting. He should be done talking with Cullen by now.”

“Why would he need to speak with the Commander? I mean, I knew they met, but there can’t be that much to talk about, especially not for so long.” She thought out loud.

That explained why he hadn’t been talking to her for a time. His sudden silence on the issue was uncomfortable. He knew something and yet wasn’t going to tell her. Perhaps the combination of her sadness and the dull aching pains all over was taking its toll, but the idea of moving felt impossible.

“Before I go, will you be alright?” she asked curiously. A dumb question, of course he wouldn’t. How could he, she wasn’t even sure she would be.

“No, not really.” He countered. “I want you to know, when you leave, I’m coming with you. There’s very little keeping me here, you know that. If I keep an eye on you, I’m sure you won’t…won’t disappear too.”

“If that’s what you want, I won’t stop you. I’d rather not let you out of my sight again either. I’ve lost too many people, and you’ve pulled the whole disappearing act on me twice now. I’m not losing anyone else.” She swore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: A private meeting with Lord Commander Aymeric.


	41. The Arrangement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki meets with Ser Aymeric, only to be caught off guard by what he wanted to discuss.

She hesitated, standing in front of the door. There was of course, a guard. There had always been a guard here, but with tensions running high, it made sense now.

“Ahh. Mistress Homura, the Lord Commander is expecting you.” He said, directing his attention to Thancred, he frowned slightly. “Sorry, but I was asked only to let the Lady in.”

That made her uneasy. She had never met with him alone before, and her experiences with meeting people alone had never really had a way of working out as well as she hoped. Thancred pulled her aside for a moment, speaking low.

“I don’t like this. You alone have practically saved this place from imploding on itself. They already ask overmuch and rely on you more than they should.” He cautioned.

“What would you have me do? I at least should hear him out. Aymeric is among those I trust, I can’t imagine this ends in blood, nor can I refuse a friend.” She countered.

He sighed, brushing a hand through her hair lightly. “Yuu… one day you’re not going to be given much choice. Be careful, don’t overwork yourself, and don’t let him treat you like a cart chocobo.”

With recent events, he had become slightly more protective of her, and despite how unusual it was, it came with the territory of loss. Smiling a little, she turned back to the guard.

“Alright, I’m ready to go in.” she said.

Opening the door for her, she walked through, glancing back as it closed. The sound alone was enough to make her mildly nervous once again.  Aymeric stood up when he saw her, as nice of a welcome as she had come to expect from him.

“My friend, please, take a seat. I have much to discuss with you.” He said.

She debated remaining standing, but decided against it. Turning the chair against the wall, she took a seat finally. The gesture hadn’t gone unnoticed, though she suspected that he understood.

“Ser Aymeric. May I ask what was so important that I had to come alone?” she asked.

Sitting back down, he folded his arms around himself. Was it possible his wound was still mending? Her first instinct was to carefully look around, to try and gain some insight while she waited for his response.

“I… realize that I’ve already asked much of you until now, and I could never hope to make it up to you. I have a favor to ask of you, and I will not hold it against you if you refuse. If you do this for me, I swear I’ll damn well do my best to do right by you.” He said.

That alone wasn’t very suspect, and could well have been said in front of anyone. There had to be more to it, and she could take a guess. Dravanians. The subject of dragons was something that wasn’t widely discussed. A thousand years of war did that to people, she guessed.

“What is this favor?” she questioned.

He closed his eyes, as though he couldn’t bring himself to look at her. The reason escaped her, the feeling that she might not like this was only growing.

“I must tell you first. I value your friendship. Few are those I can trust, and you are the only one I trust implicitly. As you well know, Ysayle was the only other person freely allowed to walk into Anyx Trine alone, and she is gone. This puts you in a uniquely difficult position.  I aim to end the war between Ishgard and the Dravanians. To do that, I need a formal meeting, and you are the only one who can arrange this. A simple matter, yet it must become more complex. Ishgardians are slow to trust. You have earned their trust with your deeds. I detest bringing your race into this, but being Auri…” he trailed off.

Yes, being Auri meant most people already assumed she was the bastard product of the unholy union of Saint Shiva and Hraesvelgr. Whether this was actually true or not was as always, up for debate. His hesitance to continue meant that her connection to the dragons of Anyx Trine and Ishgard was meant to be of use, in conjunction with her race. What use she would be in that aspect remained a complete mystery.

“How can that be of use to you?” she persisted, trying to persuade him to talk. “Please, speak plainly, Lord Commander.”

He cleared his throat, not quite prepared to look at her yet. “If you insist. I… feel the best course of action for fostering trust is to present a person that is assumed to be a bridge between man and dragon. I mean to say… I think marriage would suitably satisfy the masses. Seeing a son of Ishgard wed to a well-liked Au Ra, the Warrior of Light, nonetheless, could only advance the cause.”

She frowned, seeking something to focus on that didn’t involve him. The floor would have to suffice for the moment. “Ah. You… must surely know that I am already married.” She sighed.

“As a matter of fact, I did know that. I spoke at great length with your husband already. He… was amenable to the idea, provided that certain conditions were maintained. That is a matter for later though. If you are, of course willing, I mean to move forward on that, and follow it up shortly after with a formal parley with one of Hraesvelgr’s own brood.” He stated.

Part of her didn’t quite believe he would be so agreeable, and yet with attached conditions, it sounded a little more like him. That they spoke was no great mystery, the topic of conversation had been the real curiosity until now. Thancred knew this whole time, and hadn’t given her even a hint to prepare for such a thing.  A vague hint before her meeting was hardly enough to go on. Sighing to herself, she finally looked up. Despite already being in a weird place in her life that she never thought she would be in, it looked like escaping a political arrangement wasn’t in the cards for her.

“Very well. Lord Commander, I accept your proposal. I ask only for a short time to prepare.” She mumbled nervously.

“You ask so little, my friend. When you’re ready, meet me at Falcon’s Nest. I have people stationed there already in preparation for a meeting. I will attend the smaller details.” He stated, standing once more as she rose to leave.

When the door closed this time, she hung her head, eyes fixed on her hands. Thancred approached her once more, heaving a sigh. “By the look on your face, you gave in again, didn’t you?”

“I did. You could have warned me. A little preparation, and I could have been spared such an ungraceful interaction…” she scolded him.

Resting his hand on her shoulder, he leaned against her for a bit. It was true, he could have said something, yet he was specifically instructed against it. The thought that she might run off was a matter of concern, and while this felt somewhat forced, he didn’t want her to run blindly and get lost, injured or worse. “Come on. Let’s get you ready then…”

* * *

 

In her small, slight rebellion, she left her armor on. Though seeing that he had his usual attire on made it feel less meaningful. That she had finally managed to get a moment alone with Jandelaine was a perk, however. It was the first time in several months, or a little over a year, depending on which world she was going by, that she had managed to get her hair done. The gathered crowd stared up towards him while he spoke, mostly standard stuff, about the losses suffered from war over the last thousand years, and the firm desire to end that. The reaction was mixed, some sounded excited, others, disgusted at the idea of making peace with their enemy.

“There’s no stopping it now, is there?” Thancred asked quietly.

A small smirk pulled at the corner of her mouth. “Is that jealousy I hear?” she asked jokingly.

“That’s for me to know. I just think this is another way of using you. It isn’t right. You’re a woman, not cattle. “he said.

“What was I supposed to do? Remember that goal we had of putting an end to the Empire? To the Ascians and to the primals? This alliance may help with that too. Ishgard has been hesitant to lend aid to the other great cities. With this, I may have enough sway to demand that aid.” She sighed.

If this was a political marriage, it was only fair that she benefitted from it as well. He seemed to be considering this for a moment, finally conceding her point.

“You’re right. I only wish you would worry more about your own wellbeing instead of everyone else for once.” He grunted.

Glancing up, she noticed he was gesturing towards her. Turning away, she ascended the steps towards him. Stopping at his side, she found herself wondering if this was truly fate or her own doing. She had always preferred to believe events were guided by a force that intended things to play out as they did no matter what interference happened. His arms embracing her summoned her back from her thoughts, twitching slightly. The sound of cheering was almost bittersweet, normally she might enjoy it, but in this circumstance, she was quite bothered by it. He pulled away, reaching for her hands.

“In the sight of those gathered here, and under the watchful gaze of the Fury Herself, I take you as my bride. Let our union serve as a guiding light for man and dragon alike.” He stated, his attention fixed on her.

Some manner of speech was intended, and she had nothing prepared, though she was certain she could come up with something on the fly.

“Ever have I championed Ishgard’s cause as my own, I will aid in welcoming a new era for all to live peacefully, dragon and man, joined as one.” She replied.

This wasn’t at all like her tradition, and that was fair enough. It was largely for show, and thus it was best done his way. In her heart, it eased her crushing guilt a little that it _was_ done this way. Legal, certainly, but it didn’t feel like a true commitment in her mind. His arms folding around her shoulders, he pulled her close, bending low to kiss her. She expected his lips to feel cold, bitter like the weather, and yet, they were soft and warm. She wanted to find a reason to find it unpleasant, but there wasn’t one. When he pulled away, he smiled kindly, whispering to her so he wouldn’t be overheard.

“That’s all there is to it. I’ll explain more later, for now, I hate to send you away when you should be resting and celebrating, but I need you to bear a message to Anyx Trine…” he told her.

She gave a nod, glad to get away from the awkward situation. With a gesture, a black chocobo appeared. Climbing into the saddle, it flew off with her on its back. Not a long trip by any means, faster by flight. Hraesvelgr himself was unlikely to show up on his own. The best bet was Vidofnir, a daughter of his brood, and at least towards her, a gentle soul.

* * *

 

It had taken surprisingly little to convince her to come for the meeting, the panic obvious immediately after she landed, though fear quickly gave way to hope. Aymeric’s men had apparently been working on a symbolic art piece just for this moment, to symbolize their will to make peace. Hraesvelgr bore a message with her that they too, desired an end to the ages of bloodshed between them. Mere moments from a historical occurrence, a figure descended, assaulting the dragon. She fell and the figure jumped away. Reaching to her back, she gripped her spear, staring up at a man she had once gladly fought beside, called friend. Possessed as he might be, that he couldn’t resist it enough to avoid sabotaging this upset her. As she moved to follow after him, Aymeric grabbed her hand, holding her back.

“Don’t… look, she still breathes. She can be saved, if you follow after him, as he is, possessed like that… we won’t be able to save you. This is a matter that will require a full alliance to deal with. Nidhogg’s vile brood is legion, and we have ever struggled to keep them at bay. With both his eyes returned to him, the threat is as great now as it was at the start of this.” He explained to her.

Estinien had taken the opening to clear out. Yuuki pulled away, dropping to her knees beside Vidofnir. Quickly switching out to something with a chance of doing good, she pressed her hands to the wounds.

“I will assemble a team to see her back to Anyx Trine where her own can take care of her.” He instructed.

Yuuki shook her head. “That’s fine, but I won’t leave her like this. I have to do what I can while I wait. I refuse to lose another being so dear to me.” She sobbed.

When the guard detail arrived to take her, she had to be held back so they could get her stabilized for movement. Her head dropped, struggling pointlessly at the guard, her eyes watering uncontrollably. Related or not, it still felt like losing her family all over again. She had done the best she could to keep her stable, and the consensus was that she would live, and yet that was little comfort.

“Yuuki… I need to speak with you again before anything else.” He sighed.

“Then tell me now, before I destroy any more lives here. “she growled.

That was all the notice she would offer that she was preparing to leave once again. So far, this trip wasn’t paying off at all. Her main objective had failed, and she was injured in the process, upset Thancred in a way, her friend had almost been killed, and though she made no mention of it, some crazy woman had drugged her tea. Had it not been for Thancred, who could have said what might have happened.

“As you wish. The conditions I mentioned. I am not to ‘defile’ you, as I was told, and… when you leave, I offered to send a retinue of Temple Knights, and some lancers to aid your cause. I have taken the liberty of arranging for some scholars and a decent chirurgeon to go with as well. I want to make sure that you don’t feel like this was all for my benefit. “ he told her.

Reaching a hand out, he wiped away her tears. Bringing his hands up, he unfastened the earring he wore, fixing it through the small hole in her horn. “I truly am sorry events played out like this. Rest assured that I will do all I can from this side.”

Gripping the earring on the opposite side, she removed it, handing it to him. “Here. I don’t have much, but I got this off Alexander, so… I mean, I hope it’s enough.” She mumbled.

Setting it in place, he nodded some. “It’s more than enough. That you would see fit to give up a trophy of your fight against such a foe, it’s a nice gesture. Give me some time to gather up the troops, and I swear I will let you go without complaint.” He told her.

She waved a hand in agreement, jumping off the edge without another word. Alphinaud had been there as well, approaching with Thancred.

“We have to wait a little longer, but we can leave within the hour, I’m sure.” She muttered.

“You’re leaving already?” Alphinaud asked.

“Yes. I need to get away from here. I never thought I’d say that, but this has all been a lot to swallow. Not to mention I have to get back to work when I return. The world, my friend. The world is at stake, if I don’t get back, there won’t be anything to return to.” She told him.

He turned his focus to his boots for a moment. “I want to go to. I refuse to be left behind, and getting away will allow me to clear my head and find my purpose again.” He said adamantly.

“It’s not at all like it is here. I hope you can handle it.” Thancred sighed.

“I’m not a child, I’ll be fine.” He countered argumentatively.

“We can wait here. If it’s anywhere near as many people as I expect, this will be the best place to open a rift.” She sighed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may seem like a terrible idea, but lest we forget, her tribe is known for its women marrying many husbands, and this one is a mutually beneficial arrangement. Don't have to like it to see the potential.


	42. The Lady's Secret

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I'm going to keep this chapter. I have strongly mixed feelings about it.

She had marched into Skyhold with a small army of her own, at least that’s how it seemed. Had Cullen not been there to welcome her back, she had fully intended to go straight to her room and stay there for as long as she could safely manage.

“Welcome home…” he said.

Her expression was far from kind, though her answer sounded relatively pleasant. “Thank you, Commander. If you have time, I’d like to speak with you soon.”

Moving to stand beside him, she gestured to the Knights she had returned with. “Some of Ishgard’s finest. If you have a problem, realize that I helped train some of these men myself.” She grunted.

Turning to leave, he hurriedly dismissed them so they could rest, eat, shower, or otherwise enjoy a bit of free time. Struggling to keep pace with her, he frowned. “Slow down, there’s no need to hurry.” He told her.

“Oh, yes, there definitely is.” She sighed.

Bursting through the door to her room, he quickly stopped it before it slammed. “What exactly are you so upset about?” he asked.

She folded her arms angrily, though she winced as she did. Her wrist and head still hurt from where she had sustained injuries, bruising slowly over time, they were now dark and obvious. “Shall we start by saying that you didn’t give me any warning. You sold me out for more troops. “she spat.

“I was very against it at first, I swear. He spun it as a critical move that could save thousands of lives and end a war. He had a way with words, it was hard to find fault with his logic.” He admitted.

“Still then, no head’s up? Thancred didn’t say anything about it either, and what do I have to show for all that? Not much. I completely failed my initial objective, got assaulted by the metal baby from the seventh hell, I’ll end up with a scar, another of my friends was assaulted, and oh yeah, I married the acting Archbishop of Ishgard. Do you _realize_ how awkward that is? I’m the one responsible for killing his _father_.” She seethed.

“Wait, so you killed the old Archbishop?” he asked.

How that was the only bit he latched on to from that whole rant was beyond her. Sighing irritably, she nodded. “The Ascians taught him how to summon primals, but instead of summoning a god, he turned himself into a living incarnation of King Thordan, and his knights, one among their number, I may remind you, killed Lord Haurchefant. So yes, Commander. I did kill his father, and his knights. I relished it, I laughed, and I spit on all the corpses. “she answered.

Cullen diverted the subject, his hands cautiously running the length of her sides. “He didn’t touch you, did he?” he asked.

“No, of course not. I’m not even sure he could if he wanted to. Acting Archbishop, I mean there must be a rule against that, right?” she countered.

“I couldn’t say. Though now that we’re talking, I have a few things bothering me as well.” He said.

She waved a hand, as if to tell him to go for it. “What’s on your mind?”

“You, for one. Kimi being the second. How long has it been? You haven’t once bothered to use my last name. It’s like you hardly notice that we’re married.” He sighed.

Her brows knitted in confusion, shifting her weight to one leg. “Why would I use your last name?” she asked, genuinely curious.

His eyes flitted to the horns, and he groaned. Somehow, it must have slipped his mind that she wasn’t exactly familiar with human customs most of the time. “I’m sorry, I suppose I could have explained it. I don’t know how things in your tribe worked, but here, when you marry, most of the time the woman takes her husband’s last name. Children tend to have that last name as well.” He muttered.

It was a bit shameful to have him explain it, and she felt bad that she hadn’t realized it. “I-I see. This whole time, I assumed you were going to take my name. Matriarchal tribe, dear.” She mumbled.

“So… will you be taking it or…?” he asked, wondering to himself why he was pressuring her after she just admitted to having a terrible time.

“Yes, of course. I’m sorry about that…” she mumbled.

Changing the subject again, he frowned. “I hear you got injured pretty badly. Let’s take a look at it…” he said.

Struggling out of her armor, she gasped slightly, the stitches pulling painfully as she did. He carefully brushed a finger along the edge, not touching it directly so it wouldn’t hurt much. Turning her around, he took a deep breath. “So what happened?”

She decided to keep it off for now, crawling into bed and stretching out. It felt good to be back, at least a little. “Creepy doll blew up, and I took a metal rod to the chest. Just lucky that it happened to hit where I’d already been damaged before. “she told him, glancing down.

It had slipped her mind to ask how long they needed to be left in. They were uncomfortable, and already bothering her enough. Sighing a bit, he laid next to her, being gentle about moving her, bringing her head to rest on his chest.

“I don’t mean to go off like this, you’ve just got back, you had a rough time. I shouldn’t be adding on to your stresses.” He admitted.

“No, I understand. It was my fault, I’m not very good at being upset. Feelings are a bit of a challenge for me. I… don’t forget. I love you. I wouldn’t bother saying it if it weren’t the truth. “she grumbled.

He laughed a bit, brushing the hair from her face, frowning a little at the black bruising around her eye. “Why don’t you call me by my name? Everything always seems to be titles with you…” he asked.

The question made her more uncomfortable than it rightly should have. That alone was a lengthy explanation that she didn’t want to think too much about. No secrets, that was what she had promised, and it was turning out to be something she was regretting now.

“Titles are a sign of respect. In my tribe, it’s rude not to use them. Even my mother was Kōgō Saya.  I was Yuuki-hime, Koharu-hime was my sister, and my brothers were Kaien-hiko and Yuji-hiko. When I was taken by the Imperials, using a name was a punishable offense. An example, I encountered a woman named Livia sas Junius. Had I called her that, I could have been killed. She was addressed as Tribunus, or Tribunus Angusticalvus. I try only to address people by name if there is no title by which to call them.” She explained, frowning a little.

There had been plenty of times she had been scolded for not using people’s names despite being close to them. Very few times had she managed to do so. Haurchefant and Thancred being two obvious exceptions. Haurchefant, despite being a bastard, was still nobility, and thus she had mostly called him Lord Haurchefant, or Lord Fortemps until close to his death. Thancred was an Archon, though she had never taken a liking to it, and couldn’t bring herself to call him by it.

 “If you think you can, could you at least try to use my name? We’re married now, isn’t it acceptable to just… use it?” he asked, twining locks of her hair between his fingers.

 “I… will try. I make no promises. It’s a hard habit to break.” She admitted.

 “I heard that Kimiko was a good, strong name. That was the reason you chose it, but I’m not sure what that means.” He stated.  

“It means” she paused, hiding her face in embarrassment. “noble child.”  

“Why noble?” he persisted.

 “Ahh… right. I suppose my explanation didn’t mean much. My… mother was the ruler of our tribe. Separate from other nations, each tribe had rulers, and they referred to them differently. Kōgō is Empress. Since I am, as far as I’m aware, the last of my clan, perhaps a title is moot. If not, I am the Empress now, and that makes her -hime.” She tried to explain.  “I see; you’ve never mentioned it before.” He mumbled.  “No reason to. It was never important to me, and after they were gone, I was forced to forget. The Imperials wanted someone who could be shaped to their standards, and I had to do what was needed to live. When I began my new life in Gridania, I felt it best if it wasn’t mentioned, so I was just Yuuki. Funny how things work, isn’t it? I started as just another girl, and somehow became the Warrior of Light, and then Saint, and Andraste’s Herald… I can’t really escape it.” She sighed.

 Not that it was altogether terrible, she just hated being seen as someone who was better than others, people treated her differently, as if they didn’t already have plenty of other reasons to do so. Outside of Othard, her title was essentially ignored anyway, and after the Garleans had occupied it, most tribes had been stripped of theirs as well. There never seemed to be any good reason to mention it.

 “I suppose not. There must be a reason they seem to keep falling into your lap though. People don’t usually have that kind of luck. “he mused quietly.  

If there was a reason, it escaped her. She hadn’t managed a formal education before she was forced into Imperial ranks, and they never bothered to teach her either. Not the greatest with emotions, and of one of the least appreciated races outside of her own country, that she would continually be elevated to heights she never really wanted was a minor source of annoyance. Nymeia was said to be the one who weaved the threads of fate, and she certainly had a sense of humor.  

“I guess I never wanted you to know, not just because it truly isn’t important but also because I know how you feel about nobility, and I didn’t want you to think differently about me…” she breathed.

 “Why would I think any differently about you? It changes nothing about how I feel. You’re altogether different, and you’re nothing like the kind I can’t stand. “  

Yuuki grew tired of talking, turning in his arms. Before he could question it, she leaned in, kissing him lightly. He shook his head when she pulled away. It was only too obvious that he knew where she was trying to lead things.  

“I won’t.” he began. “Not until you’re better. I can already see it; you’ll rip your stitches.” He said, leaving no room for argument.

 Pouting slightly, she turned away once more, bringing his arm down around her again. She might not be able to get him to change his mind, but that didn’t stop her from wishing he would. “I’m not even sure how long I need these in for…” she sighed.

 “Well, maybe that will teach you not to be so reckless all the time. If you’d exercise a little caution, I’m sure you’d take less injuries, and we could be doing something a little more to your liking.”

 A lecture, not really surprising, and yet it felt like rubbing salt in the wounds, so to speak. He had a decent point though, her confidence in her skills had often led her to overlook things that could have been avoided. Ramuh came to mind, the Lord of Levin was reasonable for a God, and though he held nothing back in their fights, she had often walked right into completely avoidable attacks, and she could verify that being electrocuted was among the least pleasant experiences. A fight like that should have been plenty to teach her to be more careful. It didn’t teach her anything except that she could handle more pain than she thought she could, and that had only served to lessen the consideration she gave to the dangers she faced. Truthfully, that this was to be her first scar was a miracle, standing as a testament of how great the healers she had dealt with actually were.  

“Reckless or cautious, the outcome is the same. I can’t protect anyone, no matter how hard I try.” She complained bitterly. “Another name on the list of people I cared about that I failed, and lost.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now with a picture!
> 
> Top to bottom, left to right: Hideo, Kōgō Saya, Yuji, Koharu, Yuuki, Kaien


	43. Discomfort

Sighing a bit, he glared at her briefly. “If you keep squirming, I might cut you. Sit still, Yuu!” Thancred scolded, shaking his head.

Leaning in once more, he carefully cut away the stitches, pulling them out slowly. It had been a bit earlier than intended, but she usually seemed to heal relatively quick compared to others without the blessing of the Mothercrystal. She raised her shoulders, the removal making her skin itch.

“What did I _just_ tell you?” he grumbled. “Lucky for you I’m done with this side, and it looks alright, it didn’t reopen, so that’s something.”

Without being instructed, she flipped over quickly, moving her hands under her back in the hopes that she would do better at remaining still this time. His hand rested on her shoulder for a moment as he got closer. Staring up at him, she tensed up suddenly, thinking back to the last time they were like this. While nothing had come of it, it still felt strange, like it should have been easily forgotten. Thancred took advantage of the distraction to work quickly, managing to remove about half before she noticed.

“Ah! Wow, that hurt…” she gasped, glancing down.

He actually smiled, laughing a bit. “It’s been a while since I’ve heard that.” He joked.

Picking the rest out, his finger brushed slowly over the wound, making sure it had properly closed on this side as well. She pulled away from him, grabbing her shirt and yanking it back on. Walking out to the balcony, she leaned against the railing. She couldn’t explain that kind of reaction, only to say she felt the sudden need for distance.

“Yuu, what’s wrong?” he asked, standing up slowly.

Yuuki was about to answer, but she stopped cold, her eyes fixed towards something he couldn’t see from this angle. A short time had passed before she looked away, a troubled look on her face.

“Nothing, I’m alright…” she lied.

He put his things away, shrugging a shoulder before heading towards the door. “I thought you trusted me. Trust means not lying to people you call ‘friend’” he sighed.

The accusation bothered her too, flinging herself in his direction to prevent him from leaving. “I don’t mean to lie, but I can’t quite explain it.”

He easily brushed her hand off his wrist, turning once more to face her, as if waiting for some elaboration.

“I felt like someone was watching me. That can’t be right. I’ve had this feeling before, when…” she stopped, her eyes fixed on his, frowning.

“Ah.” He said, realizing what that look meant. “When I was taken over by Lahabrea…”

“Don’t act so calm, if it were true, do you even know what that implies?!” she yelled, upset by the very idea.

“That the Ascians found a way here.” He stated.

She shook her head vehemently. “Not just that. It takes this mark on my hand to get between worlds. To my knowledge, I’m the only one. If the Ascians are indeed here, that means they have a way to get through without this. You should know better than anyone that they never seem to work alone. The Archbishop, the beast tribes, the _Imperials…_ Twelve preserve us, what if they’ve brought Garleans?” she panicked.

Her chest rose and fell faster with every breath, the idea that this place, no joke intended, her safe haven, might become infested with their ilk. In addition to the threat still posed by Corypheus, was inciting a fear in her that she hadn’t felt in a very long time. Breathing too quickly, she found herself dizzy, swaying in place as the whole room twirled in her eyes. Thancred moved closer, gripping her waist to keep her upright.

“Calm down, you said yourself you’re not even sure if it was the same feeling, you’re working yourself up over nothing!” he barked.

He guided her back to the bed, kneeling at the edge to lower her down so she wouldn’t hurt herself. Pulling her up to the pillows, he watched her in silence, waiting until she could steady her breathing. In the rush to get her safely down, neither noticed the door or the sound of steps coming up the stairs.

“What exactly are you doing to her?” a voice asked.

Thancred let go, looking towards the sound. “I shouldn’t be surprised, but I’ll admit I am. Clearly you didn’t see what just happened.” He observed.

Gesturing towards her, he watched for a bit as she struggled to catch her breath. “She’s got it in her mind that the Ascians found a way to cross between worlds and that they’ve brought Garleans here.” He explained.

Cullen swiped a hand through his hair, assessing the situation in his mind. Not the most knowledgeable on Garleans or Ascians, he had to try to connect what she had told him before with what he was being told now. “Alright, tell me honestly. Is that possible, and if so, how likely is it?” he asked.

Thancred moved to stand once more, scraping the top of his head in thought. “It is possible, it seems with Ascians, few things are impossible. Likely, that’s a hard question. How likely is it that they’ve crossed over… Yuuki is one of the few left who harbor the light, they’d very much like to remove her as a threat. Based on that…I would say that it’s very likely. If they aren’t already here, they’ll come for her soon enough. As long as she’s in the way, they can’t move on their own plans.” He sighed.

She had finally calmed down, though she didn’t yet speak, perhaps the entire idea still too upsetting to bring into words.

“You mean to tell me they want to kill her?” he questioned, almost furiously. “Aren’t there already plenty of people that would see her brought down?”

“That may be so, but none will try harder than the Ascians. It is noteworthy that they don’t need to outright kill her, they don’t always deal in direct schemes, but rather lengthy plots that accomplish several goals at once. Chaos is the ultimate goal, as long as the Light inside her is dealt with, that’s all they care for.” He said.

She pushed herself to sit up, turning to face Cullen then. “I fully admit they may not be here, but the best course of action would be to deal with the Arbor Wilds, bring Corypheus down as soon as possible, and by that time, I might have a better grasp on the situation.”

He raised a hand, as if to emphasize his statement. “We’re still waiting on word from Orlais. When they are readied, we can leave. As critical as this sounds, we still have a little time to prepare.” He sighed, his left hand reaching to massage his brow.

Thancred once more moved for the stairs. “This sounds like something I’ll be of little use with. I’ll take my leave for now, perhaps if I speak with Cid and the others, they may be able to contribute something useful in my place.” He stated, excusing himself.

When he left, she brought her knees up against her chest, sighing. “This is my fault. If they get here…I should never have gone back, if I didn’t… maybe they wouldn’t have found me, and wouldn’t have thought to come here.” She whispered, frustrated

“How exactly is this your fault? You couldn’t really know this would happen, if it actually is happening.” He told her, taking a seat next to her, slipping an arm around her.

She laid her head on his shoulder, kissing his cheek. “Cullen…I… should go. After I finish what I was sent here to do, I’ll leave. I can’t risk anything happening to you, I can’t lose you.” She murmured, her eyes welling up, despite her best effort to be strong.

His eyes narrowed, and for the briefest instance, she perceived a well of anger in his gaze. “Absolutely not. If you leave, I’m going with you. I’m not helpless, and I’m not going to stand by and let you shoulder everything by yourself.” He argued, his face set like stone.

“I know you’re more than capable of handling things. I don’t doubt that, I just… know that that’s not always enough. If I got you killed…I couldn’t carry on, not again.” She said, rubbing angrily at her eyes.

“Stop. You’ve made it this far, through everything you’ve dealt with. Things no other person could have survived, you made it look easy. You’re not going to die, and neither am I. Our daughter needs both of us, and I won’t leave her either. We either survive together, or we die together. Whether you stay here or go back, we’re a family, you’re stuck with us.”

A small smile tugged at the corners of her lips. “You sound so much like him. When you say that, I can’t help but believe you. My brain says I should know better, but my heart, my soul…it’s begging me to not give up, to trust you. Very well. If I’m stuck with you, then you’re stuck with me. Let the chains of fate pull where they will.” She affirmed, as much to herself as to him.

He moved his hand to her side, pulling her closer to him, his arms crossing at her back to keep her close. His chin came to rest on her head, closing his eyes slowly. Laughing at something she thought about, she relaxed in his embrace.

“C-Cullen” she began, struggling to use his name instead of his title. “Have you heard of mayflies?”

“I don’t believe so, why do you ask?” he questioned.

“They are a symbol of beauty where I come from. Spring or Fall are when you see them the most. So many, as far as the eye can see. One of the most beautiful things I’ve seen was a field, stretched far, wings glinting in the light. The true tragedy is that most are dead in a few days. Some last all of five minutes before they die. Brief, yet beautiful.” She told him, her voice quiet and reflective.

“You’ll be a first then.” He said.

“What do you mean?” she questioned.

“The only mayfly to live a very long life.” He told her, squeezing her gently.

A faint blush crawled across her cheeks. “I’m a mayfly, am I?” she asked, finding it sweet in a strange way.

“Not just any. You’re mine.” He said, smiling.

Shifting slightly, she moved to sit in his lap, curling closer to better appreciate his warmth, replacing his arms around her. “Of course, dearest. My heart is yours.”

Cullen knew she didn’t like to be seen as vulnerable or weak, but seeing it for himself, knowing that side of her existed at all was enough for him. It was rare enough that he felt he could do anything meaningful for her, and though only a small act, it filled him with a sense of pride to be needed. Like her, he carried his failures and pain with him, and a feeling like this still felt new to him. It had been said before that she was exactly what Thedas needed, when they needed her, and he felt it was the same for him, what he needed, when he needed it most. If someone had told him when he was recruited into the Inquisition that it would turn out this way, falling in love, marrying a girl ripped straight from a fever dream, and starting a family like this, in the middle of a war, he couldn’t imagine he would have believed it. Some small part of him still didn’t, it was exactly the kind of pleasant thing he expected to be a nightmare that he would wake up from someday. That would be the cruelest torture, given an existence so satisfying, only to have it stolen away, too much to bear.

“I could never have pictured this, any of it. After I lost Haurchefant, it was a reminder that getting too attached to anyone was a bad idea. Even my friends, the family I made in people I knew, I held them at arm’s length to protect myself. I had thought my wall was too high and too strong to break through.” She mumbled, almost sleepily.

Almost like she had read his mind, a little unnerving to believe she could see through him that way. Gathering that her anxieties had taken much out of her, he brought a hand up to brush through her now short hair, kissing her shoulder as he did. “Get some rest if you need it. You’ll need to save your strength.”

“I’m concerned about what I’ll find there. No one really seems to know. Some strange mirror is a fine place to start, but there must be more than that. If my experience tells me anything, getting through to the eluvian won’t be easy. “she thought out loud.

Cullen gently lowered her from his lap back to the mattress, gripping the blanket and draping it over her. “You’re capable, you can handle whatever is there. For now, try not to concern yourself with it too much.”

At his urging, she snuggled in, turning onto her stomach. Hiding her face against the pillow, she drifted off easier than she thought she would. When he was sure she had fallen asleep, he ran his fingers through her hair once more before getting up to return to making preparations. Cole and Varric had offered to watch Kimiko, and while he hesitated, he had ultimately given in, at least until he finished with his work for the day. Not his first choices for watching his child, but he was reasonably sure that they wouldn’t do anything to hurt her, intentional or otherwise. At worst, the dwarf might be sharing some fanciful story, and she was yet too young to understand anyway.


	44. Girl's Day Special

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki, Cullen, Josephine and Leliana get together to celebrate Kimiko's first Girl's Day celebration

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In honor of Hinamatsuri, a little celebratory fluff.

Yuuki awoke early with preparation in mind. Not willing to think about business today, she had other things on her mind. Cullen woke shortly after, the sounds too intrusive to sleep through.

“What are you doing? “he asked sleepily.

Arranging the stand she had set out, not glancing back, she laid a red carpet over the tiered display.

“Today is special. I want to make sure it’s perfect.” She told him, not offering much for explanation.

Turning onto his side, he watched her quietly, noticing the dolls and tiny objects she carefully set out. Pausing long enough to adjust them, before laying more out. He counted seven tiers on the stand, the first few having dolls that looked like little people, objects placed between them and on the lower shelves. Again she stopped to make adjustments, not content with the angles. When she finally left the shelf alone, she moved away from it, gathering a pile of cooking utensils and ingredients, occupying her focus with making food. Lots of color and pleasant smells were the only things he could gather immediately.

“So… not going to elaborate?” he questioned, rubbing his eyes slowly.

“It’s a special day for young girls. It’s Kimiko’s first holiday, I want it to be perfect, even if she won’t remember it.” She said, smiling contentedly.

Cullen moved to get out of bed then, crossing the room and kneeling next to her. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Holding out a spoon, she looked up briefly. “Try this? It’s the first time I’ve made this myself, I’m not very confident…” she admitted.

He nodded, tasting it as she had requested. Shrugging slightly. “I’m not sure what it is or what it’s supposed to taste like, but it seems a little bland.” He sighed.

“I thought so. I should have added a little more salt…” she mumbled to herself, adding in a few more ingredients.

This time, trying it herself, she set the pot to the side. Even without her having to tell him, he could already tell there was going to be a lot of food. Nothing had an obvious reason, but if there was one thing he had learned, it was that there was plenty of symbolism in the things she did.

“What is all this for, anyway?” he asked, eyeing the stand she had set up.

“That would take far too long to explain, but basically, it is the royal court, the servants, and the things used in and out of the castle. The flowers, the food, everything in the display has a meaning. The food, the clams are important. Only the original two halves fit perfectly, any other half would never fit the same. It’s both a wish for the child and a symbol of her parents. There will also be tiny crackers, and rice cakes, and drinks, though… those I suppose will be for us. “she explained.

It was a lot of work for someone who was yet too young to remember and too young to enjoy the food, but if it was meaningful to her, he wasn’t prepared to argue it. She set a tray full of small circles to the side by the soup, working on still more food. Her world was different in that way too, things that should have taken a long time to craft or cook, took only a short while to finish. Another reason he would have been content to fire the camp cook for her. She noticed the look on his face, realizing he felt useless sitting there doing nothing.

“Could you hand those to me, please?” she asked, trying to think of things for him to do.

He quickly handed it to her, smiling a little as if hopeful for more work. “Thank you, if you’re alright with going in my bag, there should be some flowers, pink and white, and some white fabric with pink flowers on it as well.” She said, shaping the rice and layering a multitude of different things he couldn’t quite identify on top, arranging the diamond-shaped cakes on a plate.

Cullen searched the small bag, shuffling its contents around a few times before he found what he was looking for, setting the folded fabric out, laying the flowers on top. Curiosity getting the better of him, he looked again, shaking his head. He swore there was a chair inside, but that had to be wrong.

“Is there a white jar in there? Should have a lid on it…” she described it, setting her dishes aside for later.

He had to admit, he found it charming and mildly amusing. She came across as tough and almost stoic at times, but when it came to matters like these, she became an entirely different person, lively, animated, and happier than ever. Sitting around doing nothing only made her miserable, and the only time she was even a fraction as content was in the field of battle. Watching her like this put the thought of what she would be like after all was said and done. Maybe wearing that apron, raising their little girl, perhaps another child someday. An all-around beautiful housewife, a fine image, and yet he also wondered if he would ever be content to sit about, no constant work. No, truly the best thing for both of them would involve helping others even if it wasn’t in the job description. Neither he nor her liked to be idle for long. A short time after he had found and handed her the plain ceramic jar, she filled it with the completed drink, setting it aside with the rest.

Wiping her brow, she found a white vase, decorated in peach-toned blossoms, arranging the flowers neatly inside, before busying herself cutting and sewing the fabric. The speed and efficiency with which she worked spoke well of her skill, a decent indicator that she had likely spent many moons studying and practicing to reach that point. When she finished the pieces she had worked on, she reached for the bag, taking out beams of wood, cotton tufts, and two different kinds of fabric. Folding it over into long rectangles, she stitched them loosely on one side, making two identical articles. He couldn’t tell what it was for, and yet she worked with purpose.

“What are those? “he asked, examining what she had made with interest.

Glancing up as she set her cooking supplies and weaving supplies away, she took out a number of different tools, carving the wood slowly. “It’s just standard festival clothing. Less fancy versions are fine for summer, and they have other kinds for colder seasons as well. “she said, her voice quiet.

Stopping briefly, she examined the wood from all angles, convinced she had made a mistake. After a moment, she resumed her carving, apparently deciding it was a mere trick of the light. Taking shape, he figured out that she was making flat wooden sandals, the smaller rolls of fabric curving to the sides, one pair small and the other a little larger. Once more, she wiped her brow. Looking over everything she had made, her expression almost troubled. It softened considerably shortly after, as though taking one last check to make sure that everything was ready.

“Alright… I think I’m done. I need to go grab Josephine and Leliana, if you’d like something to do, perhaps you could get Kimi for me before I bring the others? I need to get her dressed.” She told him, laying the matching outfits side by side.

Cullen gave a short nod, walking across the room towards the bed. She had been sleeping soundly for a time, though she woke up when he picked her up, a big, bright, toothless smile on her face when she saw him. Taking her back towards Yuuki, he sat once more, imitating the sounds she made. Reluctantly handing her over, Yuuki easily pulled the sleeves over her arms, crossing the edges loosely. Fixing the sash around her, the knot in the back resembling a butterfly in a way. She slipped the wooden sandals on her tiny feet, laughing quietly when he held his arms out to take her once more the minute she was done. Standing up, she wiggled out of her clothes, dressing quickly. Even without looking, she had secured the sash and tied it in the same way, as if she had done it hundreds of times before.

“I’ll return shortly. You look too adorable to bother.” She said, brushing a hand through her hair as she quickly descended the stairs.

* * *

 

Not long after, she returned with Josephine and Leliana as she said she would, kneeling on the floor. They sat next to her, turning their focus to the little one, fawning over her festive attire.

“Aww, she’s absolutely precious!” Leliana cooed.

For someone in her line of work, it was always a little jarring to see this drastic change in her personality, but she was quickly learning that babies seemed to change people like that. Yuuki quickly set about to pouring drinks and serving food, smiling in anticipation.

“I hope this is alright. This is my first time preparing the festivities instead of enjoying them. My mother used to make the best food, I’m not quite as well-versed in traditional things as I am in other things…” she admitted nervously.

Josephine was the first to try it, not reacting immediately. When she did, she immediately offered commentary. “This is very nice, it reminds me a little of the kind of meals we enjoyed in Antiva, living by the water meant a lot of seafood.”

Leliana reached for a few of the crackers, tilting her head curiously. “What is this?” she asked.

“It’s soy sauce, it’s the best kind.” She said, thinking back.

Cullen looked up finally, taking a break from making faces to sneak some of the feast for himself while he had the chance. Yuuki nibbled on a colorful rice cake, pleased with the result. It wasn’t perfect, but it was very close to how she remembered it.

“May I ask why the cups are so small?” Josephine inquired, finding the tiny serving glasses fascinating.

Covering her mouth with her sleeve, she muffled a laugh. “Try it. You’ll see why.”

At her insistence, she took a sip, her expression changing to one of bitterness then. “That’s… very strong.” She mumbled, taking another sip.

“The traditional drink is fermented rice in most places. My tribe had a unique take on it, and it is very potent. Just that little bit is often too much for most people.” She said.

Intrigued, Leliana took a sip, her eyes squeezing shut for a moment. Yuuki tipped her glass back, setting the empty cup down, folding her arms across her lap gently. Time seemed to fly by with conversation and food and admiring the baby, who appeared confused, but very happy with the attention and the colors. Since it was essentially a day for her, Yuuki offered her a spoonful of the soup, in the vague hope that she might try it. To her surprise, she did, reaching towards her with a happy burble. Brushing her hair out of her face, she sighed quietly.

“Is everything alright?” Cullen asked curiously.

“It’s fine, I’m not sure how to describe it, only that I realized I don’t regret it anymore. How could I, she’s the sweetest little thing…” she said quietly.

“Strange enough, I know exactly what you mean. Whether I approved or not, it hardly matters. Look at her little smile, that’s not an evil smile. I would know.” He stated.

She spoke, though he couldn’t understand what she said. He assumed it was an Auri thing, and was content enough just to let her do her thing. Leliana, however, was more interested.

“What was that?” she asked, stretching a bit.

“It was a wish, a wish that she’ll have a happy and fulfilling future. It’s tradition for parents to make a wish that their daughters live well and are healthy in the future. There’s a boy’s day too, it’s similar, but not entirely the same.” She said.

Cullen waved her closer for a moment, a hand raised between them, knowing with certainty they could read lips. He whispered something to her, and she gasped, her face flushing a slight pink. “R-really?” she questioned in disbelief. He said nothing, nodding to her.

“Well… I mean…I suppose if you think so, then we could. Though maybe _after_ I’ve saved the world.” She said, laughing a little.

“What exactly is the big secret that you don’t want to share with us?” Josephine asked, a brow raised in suspicion.

“Oh, nothing. Not really important. I was just uh… asking if she’d like to take a… vacation.” He insisted, shrugging.

“That was it, a family vacation, somewhere nice.” She confirmed.

It was a lie, but executed so smoothly, that the Ambassador decided not to question it. Cullen decided to put her down for a nap, since it was starting to get dark out. Yuuki glanced over at the display, standing to take it down, it was considered bad luck if it wasn’t taken down by the day after the celebration, and the last thing they needed was more bad luck…


	45. A Moment in Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some smut. Not necessarily 100% plot related on its own, but it will be later on.

Opening her eyes, she stared up at the figure hovering above her. Glancing down her body, the realization that she wore nothing hit her. Trying to sit up, she couldn’t move properly, her arms and legs stuck somehow.

“Good morning, love.” Cullen said, a grin stretched across his face.

So it was time for her payback, she gathered. Examining her restraints, it was simple rope, but thick enough that without proper leverage, she couldn’t just break free. He planned ahead for this, most likely, and yet it struck her as something that he wouldn’t have liked.

“More to you than I thought. This is unexpectedly kinkier than I thought you capable of.” She told him.

“I blame you. You put these thoughts in my head, and I can’t get them out.” He sighed, sitting over her.

Laughing a little, she tilted her head, staring at him once more. “So it’s my fault, hm? I can live with that. I wonder what else you’ve been thinking about…”

He bent down, mouth pressed to the side of her neck, fingers lightly circling the opposite side, enough to make her gasp. “Wouldn’t you like to know…” he teased, biting down.

She smiled, biting her lip to silence herself for a moment before answering. “I would love to, but I get the feeling you’re not in the mood to share.” She mumbled, tipping her head back.

Pleased with the reaction, he moved down a little further, down her throat and slowly down her chest, stopping at her breast. His hand slid along her body, lightly twisting her nipple, eyes fixed on her face. Wanting to make sure she didn’t have enough time to get too used to anything he did, he pulled his hand away, gripping her side firmly. Lips moving further still, down her body, he stopped briefly.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” He nipped at her hip “It makes teasing you more fun.”

She blushed, looking away, a grumpy expression on her face. Whether it was a result of being called beautiful, or the idea of being in this manner of situation was unclear, though it could have been a mix of both. Slipping his hand between her legs, spread across the bed, fingers gliding easily against her, he chuckled.

“Admit it or not, I can tell you like this. Your body is telling me what you won’t.” he murmured.

Trailing kisses down her thigh, he bit firmly, hearing her whimper, shivering eagerly. Looking up at her again, his lips brushing against her. Her hips jolted up, her face turning a deep red, trying to pull her legs shut. The bindings preventing it, his tongue lightly grazing her center, fingers pressed in deeply, back and forth. The way she pulled and squirmed was interesting, a mixture of enjoyment, and embarrassment. She had never let him do this before, though she hadn’t ever bothered to explain why. Her thighs quivered, hands clenching reflexively, mismatched eyes staring down at him, and her soft pink lips trapped between her teeth, unable to muffle the sounds she made completely. The mix of his rough stubble brushing against her skin and the absence of patterns in the way his tongue circled her bud in combination with his fingers was more than she was prepared to deal with, unable to handle it.

“C-Cullen… s…stop, I can’t…” she murmured nervously, struggling against the restraints.

He ignored her request, pressing deeper into her, moving his hand back and forth faster. Her hips lifted against him, and the sound she made could best be described as a howl. Leaning onto his knees, he brushed his thumb across his lips, grinning once more.

“What happened to staying quiet? Are you trying to alert all of Skyhold?” he joked.

Frowning, directing her eyes to the ceiling. “I didn’t mean to.” She grumbled quietly.

Stretching over her, he bit her neck hard, blunted nails scraping along her side, twisting his hips to the sides slowly, slipping into her inch by inch. Once more she tested the ropes, wanting to touch him. They were too tight, offering minimal range of movement, cutting in deeper with every attempt to free herself. His voice barely above a whisper, words vibrating along her neck.

“Don’t struggle so much, it’ll hurt more if you do.” He warned her.

Examining the knots, she frowned. He was right, the more she tried to slip the binds, the tighter they would get.  Despite how she may have acted, the result was far better than she had anticipated. At best, she imagined he might be a little more forceful than usual, this was the very last thing she thought he would do. Grinding into her harder, her hips lifted with every movement. It was almost torture, the more he gave her, the more she yanked at the ropes, panting heavily. His hand slid upward against her, threading into her short hair, pulling gently. Her head tilted back, staring at him for a moment before her eyes slid shut. His body pinned her tightly to the bed, goosebumps raising along her body, biting her tongue in an effort to keep quiet. Cullen had a point, being too loud would only attract unwanted attention, and yet she found it almost too difficult to stay completely silent.

“I thi…think you’ve made it a little… rougher on me than I did on you…” she mumbled, her words cut with heavy breaths and shaking gasps.

Nipping slowly along her jaw then, he lofted a brow, bucking against her firmly, her body swaying underneath him as he did. “Is that… what you think? Maybe it’s exactly the same…” he groaned.

Her hands flexed and tensed and a shiver crawled up and down her spine, eyes squeezing tightly shut, unable to hold back any longer, though it felt stronger, almost unbearably intense, the feeling much like when she left her body to commune with Hydaelyn in the other plane. He reached down between them, fingers swiping through the pooled wetness, a sound trapped in his throat, like a strained growl. She could feel the tension, working to hold back as long as he could manage, the strength draining away as he came. Pulling away, resting completely against her then, he glanced up lazily, tracing the edge of the rope.

“I suppose you’d like me to untie you? You look good like this. I may just leave you tied up for a while…” he thought out loud.

Yuuki pouted a little at the proposal. “I daresay you’re in control right now. What happens to me is up to you entirely.”

Leaning over the edge of the bed, he grabbed her bag, rummaging through until he found a blade, being careful not to cut her while tearing through the thick ropes.

“I think I’ll be nice, this time.” He laughed, putting the blade away.

Replacing the bag on the floor, he turned to lay next to her, bringing her close. Able to move now, she curled against him, laying her head on his chest, taking a deep breath.

“I wish we didn’t have to do anything. Like this, as long as we chose to stay here.” She mumbled.

That faraway look on her face again, he sighed, brushing his fingers through her hair. “You’re going to be fine, remember? We talked about this. Whatever it takes, you’ll come back.” He assured her, kissing her brow.

Enough to snap her out of her thoughts again, nodding slowly. “I won’t let you down. It’s like… being a wall that’s got a few cracks in it, I have so much to do, so many people counting on me. Would a normal life be so bad? Part of me wants that, and the other part knows it would never compare to this.” She sighed, conflicted.

“You have to do what is needed. That’s the price you must pay for such a critical destiny. It’s not something you had much choice in, I realize. Though, if you hadn’t been chosen for this, I doubt we ever would have met. I can’t regret that, and I hope you don’t either…” he told her.

“I don’t regret a moment of it. I swear it.” She stated. “Incidentally… I believe I can spare some time, if you’re still interested…”

“So I see, you’re still not satisfied... very well, love.” He whispered, moving her over him. “You want it, you can work for it this time.”


	46. The Temple and The Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fairly straightforward trip to the Temple of Mythal brings more problems than Yuuki expected.

The time had finally come. Time to head out into the Wilds, and see what was waiting there in the woods. Everyone that intended to go gathered in the yard. Yuuki quietly stalked through the crowded area, looking over the gathered forces. The whole point of the Ishgardian forces was so they could help, so it was obvious that they would go. Unfamiliar with the dangers of this world, they would help on the lead-up to the temple, and no further. Leliana’s men already went ahead to keep an eye on the situation, and Josephine had called in a number of favors with the nobility for aid. Stopping in her steps, she tilted her head, staring at Alphinaud and Thancred.

“You don’t believe you’re going, do you?” she asked in disbelief.

“You don’t believe we’re going to stay behind and do nothing while we wait on you, do you?” Thancred countered.

“Thancred, without your magic, I can’t say if you’ll be safe. I know you can fight, but I’m not letting you go without knowing if you could suffer for just being there. Alphinaud is out of the question too.” She argued, raising her hand to her hip.

“I’m so sorry, Your Highness. I didn’t realize that I had no say in the matter.” He snorted.

Her free hand pressed to her brow, she shifted her weight to one leg, staring up at him. “Argue it however you like, the answer is still no.” she snapped.

Walking away before he had a chance to persist in the attempt, she continued her examination. She paused again in front of Solas, leaning in to speak as privately as she could.

“Are you sure this is a good idea? Considering the options that I gave you, is this really what you want to do? I won’t argue, I could use your help. “she said.

He looked down at her, nodding slowly. “I’m sure. You need me, whether you think so or not.”

“Very well, then I welcome your assistance. My eyes will be on you, however.” She said.

“I expected no less from you. “he told her, watching her leave.

Morrigan of course was necessary as well. Iron Bull and Dorian stood there in the ranks as well. Yuuki had no desire to fight them coming with either, both were valuable assets in combat, and she trusted them to have her back. Stopping one last time, she frowned. Cullen glanced down at her, in a way that suggested he knew exactly what she was thinking. A half-hearted smile crossed her face for an instant, shaking her head slowly.

“Nothing I can say will keep you here, right?” she asked.

“I’m coming with. It’s my duty, and you know that. You’re correct, though. Were it not actually my job, I would still choose to follow. I wouldn’t let you do this alone.” He stated, his hand moving to rest on her head for a moment.

Gripping his wrist loosely, she pressed his palm to her face, closing her eyes slowly.

‘Twelve keep him safe. I can’t lose him too…’ she thought, letting go.

Moving back towards the gate, she raised a hand, billowy white robes fluttering in the cold wind. “The trip will be long, but I feel confident in suggesting that the ride will be the easiest part. We have no reliable means of knowing what we’ll find there, so be ready for anything and every possibility. You have your orders, rest well on the way there, I expect you all to fulfill your roles to the best of your abilities.” She said, her voice louder than normal, and more authoritative.

Holding her staff at her side, she twirled it idly, staring down at it. As much as she desired to extend her best effort and be in the thick of things, this was her best hope for assuring that any losses would be minimal, almost non-existent. She refused to lose another person due to her own inability to act. While waiting for the caravans, she rummaged through her bag, making sure she had enough supplies for this. The worst thing in a situation like this would be not packing enough ether, though she was relatively good about managing her MP.

* * *

 

The approach to the temple was harder than expected. Between the enemies, and the forest itself, things had been troublesome. At the temple, they barely made it inside safely, and were almost immediately presented with a set of puzzles to gain entry. The puzzles themselves were easy enough to figure out, but she decided not to go in after finishing them. Instead jumping down in the hole to follow after the forces that had escaped that way.

“So these people certainly liked their puzzles. Makes me glad that the Elezen are less complicated.” She sighed, pressing her fingertips to her temples.

“You say that, but everyone is complicated in their own way, it doesn’t have to be a race thing, it’s a person thing.” Solas replied.

“Do tell then, Solas. You’re observant, if that’s true, what’s so complicated about me? I believe I’m actually rather simplistic.” She challenged.

Solas didn’t stop in his steps, following the path she chose. It wasn’t actually obvious if he knew the correct path or if he was simply humoring her by letting her lead, but there was a small sense of reassurance that she was going the right way. While waiting for an answer, she diverted around a corner, gripping her sleeve nervously. She couldn’t explain it, but there was a nagging sense that something wasn’t right.

“You’re both complicated and simple. You come from another world, a place that even you admit where your own culture is all but lost, eradicated by people even you are frightened of. Yet you keep your ways, without reason, holding on fiercely even though you may well be one of the last to do so. You’re afraid to get close to people because you feel like you can’t protect them, and you realize you’re too fragile to cope with the losses. Am I close?” he asked.

Yuuki cringed visibly, the fabric of her sleeve bunching in her curled palm as she tightened her grip. He was nearly correct, something she didn’t realize she would hate so much. The effort to conceal her feelings and other matters of such nature was clearly not paying off as well as she imagined.

“Close enough, I guess.” She answered, trying to play it off.

“Those friends of yours say you did some spy work before. Not very good if a guy you barely talk to can read you like that.” Bull stated, scratching his chin.

“Of course. Perhaps I should have followed your example and divulged the most important thing about myself when I first met him.” She grumbled.

“Fair enough. “He sighed, frowning. “Sure is dark down here. Can’t see much.”

“I can see just fine. But then I have two functioning eyes.” She teased, raising her staff slightly. “If you need light, I guess I can accommodate.”

Focusing her energy into it, a weak light shined, illuminating the paths a little better. “I might add that this is not a flashlight, there are certainly better uses for my magic.”

“So if everyone is here, who do you have watching the little one?” Dorian asked.

She glanced back, quickening her pace a little. “Urianger volunteered. I thought for sure he wouldn’t want to pass up on a chance to come here, but I guess it wasn’t as interesting as I assumed.”

Solas snorted under his breath. “Your friend is wrong.” He said.

“His research is mostly aetheric and involves Primals. Now if Ifrit happens to be here, he would definitely be here. I doubt he is, or I would have sensed it.” She argued, drawing a hand to her hip.

The feeling returned stronger than before, reaching for the door in front of her. Jerking her head to the side, she halted, her expression turning almost angry. The form she had seen was gone, but it served as a confirmation of her fears. How he had gotten inside the temple was a mystery, but it hardly mattered. A sick feeling washed over her, legs growing weaker for the shortest of moments.

“Is there a problem?” Dorian asked.

She tensed up at the question, shaking her head in denial. “It’s nothing. Perhaps the air is a little stale down here.” She answered.

Pushing open the door, she raised a brow, turning back to Solas when she saw the group from before. “Solas, I feel like this is probably your thing. Who are they, anyway?” she asked, unwilling to proceed without some information.

“Elves.” He said.

“Wow, very insightful. I couldn’t have ever guessed that much.” She spat sarcastically.

Clearly, he wasn’t about to tell her anything. Or maybe he didn’t know, that was a possibility. Nothing to do but press on anyway, and risk walking into a rough situation. Assuming this was a situation that called for formality, she approached and offered a deep bow. The man at the lead spoke, and she found herself glad that she took the time to complete the rituals. There was an offer of an alliance, and she gladly took it, after the display at the entrance to the temple, she was unwilling to engage them in combat. It was foolish to assume there were no more traps inside, and even the blessing of Light wouldn’t save her from being incinerated. He made a statement to the effect that they could not touch the Well, and since she had not been paying much attention, she momentarily forgot what he meant. Something about destroying it, he left, and Morrigan followed. Gesturing towards the door, she sighed.

“It figures. I had a feeling she wasn’t the type to listen. Such impulsivity.” She stated quietly, following the guide.

“Are you not equally impulsive?” Solas asked.

“Oh shut it, you. “she barked.

* * *

 

The path had led to an ambush. Not that she expected anything less, after all the reports, she expected Samson to be lingering somewhere. Dagna had managed a little something to deal with the armor. Without it, the fight was very brief, though she hated standing off to the side, healing and casting barriers. Not that it wasn’t a noble thing, but it was a little boring, fighting was more her speed, but without that magic, it would have left others vulnerable and injured. Cullen had mentioned a personal history with him, and for that reason alone, she intended to drag him back to Skyhold for judgment. As much as he deserved to be executed right there, it wasn’t the right thing to do.

Up ahead a little further, the group could see Morrigan and the man from before. They both argued persuasively, and her first instinct had been to let him destroy it. Preservation of one’s culture was very important, and if it made him feel like he had done that, it was the better option. Morrigan argued the point, and for an instant, she could sense her ill intent. If they didn’t gain access, she could see it playing out that she would murder him and take it for herself. The reason she might want it was unclear, but it had to be prevented. Diplomacy again the favorable option, she spoke to the man quietly, persuading him as best as she could manage. He relented, allowing her to use it, though he offered a warning. When he departed, Solas stood next to her, keeping his voice low.

“How long have you known that language?” he asked.

She shrugged slightly. “What language, I spoke only the common tongue.”

He gave her a serious look, gesturing to the rest of the party, their expressions equally confused. She realized that it only sounded normal to her. Clearing her throat, she shrugged again. “The Echo gives me the ability to understand and speak in any language. It’s a common phenomenon among those with the gift. Even Minfi…” she stopped, pressing her fingers to her eyes, taking a deep breath. “Minfilia could do it too.” She finished.

Exchanging glances, they moved beyond the topic, pointing to the Well. “What now. Someone has to use it.” He said.

Looking around, she realized they were entirely unwilling, meaning the choice was down to her and Morrigan. The woman begged insistently to be the one to use it, saying she could utilize it the most. Yuuki looked up, staring at her, the difference in height making it almost impossible to look her directly in the eyes.

“Look, I’ll be honest. I appreciate what you’ve done for me up to this point, but I assure you, I am entirely more qualified than you. Apparently you’ve just heard me speak a language most consider dead. You already know I’ve harbored a Goddess inside me for years, I have the blessing of the Light. What do you have? A witch for a mother, an education and some magic? Tell me again that you’re more qualified, I dare you.” She insisted.

Faced with that, she stepped aside, though she was clearly displeased to do so. Wading in, she felt nothing immediately, but collapsed from the sudden intensity. The next thing she remembered was being shaken awake, the Well empty. Those little lapses in her memories were always bothersome, but the thing that mattered most was that the thing Corypheus wanted was now out of his reach. Speaking on that subject, he walked in shortly after, the realization of what occurred sending him into a rage. Raising her staff, she grinned, prepared to do battle with him right there.

“I’ve been waiting for this moment…” she muttered under her breath.

A hand gripped the back of her robes, yanking her back forcibly. Somehow, they were back in Skyhold, though why there was a portal connecting it to the Temple, she couldn’t say.

“Were you really going to fight him there, Boss?” Bull asked, dropping her.

“Why wouldn’t I? Wasn’t the entire point of all this to kill the bastard?” she asked.

“Certainly, yes. You must know that you’re not ready. There’s much we don’t know about him.” Solas lectured, standing to her left imposingly. Why was everyone so tall?

“You mean you’re not ready. I hate wasting time.” She growled.

She dropped to her knees, holding her head. The sudden pain was unbearable, and she felt the familiar disconnect from her body.

 ** _“Hear…Feel…Think…”_** The voice rang out.

Looking up, she frowned. Once again, she was confronted by the form from before, the one that looked like Minfilia, but was no longer her. For the first time, she didn’t want to be here, anywhere but here, with her.

“Why am I here.” She asked, her voice dead, phrased as a statement this time.

“Child, you have sensed the evil in this world. The threat you face is already great, but you glimpsed behind the curtain to see the mastermind behind this grand play.” She said.

“You mean Lahabrea? I believed him dead at the hands of Archbishop Thordan?” she asked.

“My child, you know the means to defeat an Ascian for good. Do you truly believe the acting Leader could be taken down so easily? He will reconstitute himself every time unless you gain the means to destroy him and their God.” She said.

Too good to be true then, if Lahabrea was here, then the first thing she needed to do would be to warn Thancred. He had fallen prey to him once before, that he might be more susceptible to it was a problem. Then there was also the matter of what to do. The forces at Skyhold were more than formidable, but without the white auracite and enough energy to wield it properly, there was nothing to protect them. The auracite was still in Eorzea, and the time it would take to go back and get it would mean leaving Thedas vulnerable. Yet, if she went back and stayed there, it might call him back to hunt her from there, where she could deal with him. This would require time and thought, time was fine, she could at least temporarily fend off the threat long enough to come up with a solution.

“I can deal with this. I will not let you down…” she vowed.


	47. The Devil in the Details

She sat up almost violently, looking around half expecting to see Lahabrea hovering over her. Thancred stared down at her, arms folded.

“How many times am I going to have to carry you?” He asked.

“Am I heavy, or are you not as strong as I thought you were?” she joked, taking a deep breath and lying back again.

“You’re not heavy. Yuu, tell me the truth, what happened there? I’ve known you long enough to know that if you were called away it’s no small matter.” He questioned, taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

It was a hard thing to talk about, especially considering it hadn’t been very long since he had been possessed. Unable to find the words, she distracted herself with his hair, tugging at the tie holding it together. She turned her focus to it, brushing her fingertips over it slowly. It had to be said eventually, and the sooner he knew the easier it would be to discuss options.

“I saw Lahabrea at the Temple. He left rather quickly, and I’m sure he just wanted me to know that they’re really here. I can’t be sure he won’t come after you again.” She explained, frowning a little.

He turned to face her, flicking her forehead. “Are you actually worried about me?” he laughed.

Pressing her fingertips to the spot, she pouted a little. “I was, but maybe not so much now.”

“What are you going to do about it?” he questioned, almost as though he hadn’t even heard her.

“I’m not sure. Part of me thinks if I go back, they’ll stay there, and I can deal with it that way. If I stay here, then I still need to go back to get the auracite. What I was told suggested that without it, they can’t be destroyed, at all.” She said, folding her arm over her eyes.

“Cullen won’t like it much if you just leave. Especially considering the Auracite is stored in Ishgard, which means you’d be alone with Aymeric.” He sighed, pushing himself to stand.

“I don’t think I should talk to him just yet. I _may_ have done something he won’t approve of. Again.” She mumbled, gripping the blankets nervously.

He palmed his face, heaving a sigh that bordered on irritation. “Twelve’s sake, Yuu. What did you do this time?”

“I uh… I guess I drank from something called the Well of Sorrows and absorbed some Elf stuff? I don’t really know, to be honest, I wasn’t paying attention, I just didn’t want Morrigan to use it, bad vibes and all.” She mumbled, embarrassed by her lack of actual knowledge of what she did.

He groaned, not hiding his frustration any longer. “Seven hells, Yuu. You can’t keep doing this! You always act without thinking, sometimes without paying attention to the details. If you keep living like that, you’ll end up regretting it. You keep people back like this, and no one will be able to protect you when you need it most. Are you trying to kill yourself, is that why you’re doing this?”

The anger was almost more than she could handle. She hated seeing people angry, especially knowing she was the cause. “Well… no, that’s not it, I… want to get things done, I don’t want to sit around and think about how to do them. Action, Thancred. Action is what saved you, Action is what stopped every primal threat, every vile fiend who thought they could harm my home. Thinking gets nothing done, so I’m sorry that I don’t always take the time I should to listen to details and think things through. Had I done that there, wouldn’t Corypheus have reached the Well and used it while we were still thinking about who _should_ use it?” she growled.

“While I may have no argument for that one instance, I can disapprove quite loudly. You had better tell your husband what you’ve done, or I will, and you know I will. Child or not, you need to grow up and take responsibility. There’s so many people relying on you, and you’ve only been thinking of yourself. I’ve never known you to be so selfish, and I don’t like it.” He sighed, walking away with the intent to give her something to think about.

Hearing the door slam, she jumped slightly, the sound getting to her. He was right, and she knew it. It had happened so gradually that she couldn’t recognize it on her own. It used to be everything she did was for the good of others, weighing every option, taking in every detail, and now… now it was all about what would get the job done the quickest. Ever since Halone had awoken, she stopped thinking about what was best for everyone. Selfish, that was a word that had never been used to describe her before, and it hurt worse than any wound. It would be so easy to blame her hasty decision on the presence of the Ascian, but that would be a lie. The truth was that she couldn’t be bothered to pay attention and didn’t trust the woman to use it for good. Making hard decisions had always come with the territory, but she wasn’t alone anymore, it couldn’t be just what she wanted, she should have considered her friends, and her family. Tipping her head back against the wall, she sighed, sparing a glance towards the door. She didn’t hear anything, but instinct told her Cullen wouldn’t stay away long, Thancred almost certainly went to rat her out.

Indeed, it wasn’t long before the door burst open and the sound of heavy footsteps echoed in the room. Closing her eyes, she folded her arms across herself.

“Cullen, I… Before you get upset. I know I was wrong, and I should have thought it through. I don’t know if I can make it right, only say that I’m going to do what’s right for everyone. No more thinking of myself only.” She sighed.

A sharp breath was the only immediate reaction, and the sinking on the opposite side of the bed meant he had taken a seat next to her. She didn’t have to look to know what his expression was, not anger, disappointment, directed entirely at her.

“You should have thought it through to begin with. Wasn’t once enough? Did you honestly believe anything good could come of this? What happens if this is Halone all over again, you could die, and what? Two worlds fall because you couldn’t listen for one minute? Believe me, I understand that this is a burden for you, asking you to give up a normal life to play hero wasn’t your choice. We talked about this, I get it, I do. I only hoped that maybe you felt the people who care about you meant a little more. “he told her, his voice quiet.

“What should I have done? Give the power to Morrigan? Argue the point until Corypheus arrived and killed us all? I’d really like to know.” She mumbled.

“That isn’t the point, and you know it. I’m not questioning your decision; you couldn’t even explain what it does. You did something that could have killed you without realizing it. That’s what’s bothering me. “he growled, leaning closer to her. “Look at me. You owe me that much.”

Uncrossing her arms, she hesitantly opened her eyes, the look in his eyes sadder than she anticipated.

“I promised honesty. It’s fair that I tell you everything. I saw an Ascian in the temple. That means they are actually here, they don’t work alone, someone is working with them, and that’s not good. If I am to stop them, I need something that’s back in Eorzea. I either need to go back and get it, leaving everything here vulnerable, or I go there, stay there, and hope they follow me back. I… do care what you think. What is it you would have me do?” she asked.

“There’s no guarantee they’ll follow if you leave. What I would suggest is that you wait, gather more information and make a choice from there. For all you know, they may be trying to lure you back, or their plans could already be further along than you expected. There’s also the matter of Corypheus. Leaving now means letting him act.”

He had valid points, the least impulsive thing she could do was to deal with Corypheus first, allow Leliana’s spies to gather what information they could, and form an actual plan instead of rushing in blind and making yet another mistake. The big problem was if there would be enough time to act if they waited that long.

“As you wish, dearest. I will do things your way this time. My one wish is that I don’t regret this.” Her tone suggesting she already had begun to.

So much was at stake if even the tiniest detail went awry, and the idea that everyone she knew and cared for could die as a result of her choice was already a crushing weight. Times like this made her miss Mother Miounne, a cup of tea and some comforting words would have done wonders for her. To hear her say that she was proud of her had always made her feel unstoppable, and that feeling had long since begun to fade away. Now, it was feeling more like she could do nothing to stop the chain of events that had unfolded before her. 


	48. Dead Men Tell Tall Tales

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gwyn Rogers-Stark is getting credit for helping me to decide who to bring back :D

Morrigan stared down at her for a moment, hesitantly patting her head. It was clear that it made her very uncomfortable, but that she was making an effort to calm her down. “Thank you for your help. It didn’t quite go as I hoped it would, but things were accomplished. I didn’t realize the Fade made you so… upset. I would never have insisted you come with if I knew that’s what would happen.” she said, glancing towards her son for a moment.

“No, no need to apologize. I don’t think I had a choice, it felt like I was being pulled. At the very least, you have Kieran, he’s safe, and we have the means to take down Corypheus. If you’ll excuse me, I don’t quite feel well… I need to rest. I still find myself ill prepared to deal with the things that I see there. Solas explained it to me a few times before, but I can’t manage to turn my thoughts off like that…” she whimpered faintly.

“By all means, rest. You’ll need all you can manage before your final battle.” She encouraged.

Laughing, she shook her head. “Final battle, I wish. If only you knew what comes after this. I’m afraid I won’t have my final battle for a very long time.” She sighed, leaning against the wall to support herself.

They parted ways, Yuuki heading towards her room to rest. Glad when her head hit the pillow, she took a deep breath, draping her arm over her eyes.

“Well, this is the last place I expected to find you. A castle, in a gilded bed, actually resting. Not at all like you to take a break.” A voice chided.

She tensed up, afraid to open her eyes. She knew that voice, and there was no way in any of the seven hells that it was possible. Trying to move as little as possible, her hand slid down her side, hand resting on the hilt of her dagger. Lunging up and out of the bed in one quick move, her hand came up, blade pressed tightly to his throat.

“You… I saw you die, tell me who you are and what you want!” she demanded, poised to attack at the first sign of trouble.

He raised his hands, standing still. “Shh. Listen for a moment. You never saw me die. You’re not the only clever one.” He said, smiling faintly.

“Tell me then, how am I to believe you survived?” she asked, refusing to lower the blade.

“Think back, you saw my body pinned under father, you saw the blood, but it wasn’t mine. The attack didn’t kill me, I merely waited. I tried to find you, but you were already taken.” He explained briefly, slowly lowering his hand to her head.

It certainly felt like him, and she couldn’t sense any ill intent. If this was a demon or even a trap, she would surely have felt something.

“So then, if that’s true, how did you get here?” she questioned, staring up at him.

“I take it that you missed the giant portal to the north, in the woods?” he replied. “I’d been hiding out, and I heard whispers, beginning with a wedding. I tracked down the Ishgardian and asked him to tell me what he knew. It wasn’t much, but the reports I had scrounged up led me to a portal. _A Garlean portal._ “he said.

At this, she pulled it back. She didn’t trust him, but this alone was big news. Her advisors would certainly want to know, not that anything could be done right away. Those particular portals were only found in castrums, and if there was one here… it surely meant that without anyone noticing, Garleans had covertly invaded and managed to build a base with forces.

“I expect you to give this report to my team. You know the details that I don’t, and you will fill them in. I will of course go with you; I don’t trust you to be who you seem to be.” She hissed, gesturing to the door.

The man didn’t move past her, gripping her shoulders and bending to eye level. “Little bird, can you truly not see the truth?” he asked.

It sent a chill down her spine. Only one person had ever called her that, and she was positive no one could have known that. Demons had not been in Othard, and there was no plausible way that even Ascians could know his mind.

“K…Kaien, is it…” she couldn’t finish her words, breaking into tears.

Shaking his head, he grabbed the weapon from her, setting it down. Carefully lifting her up, he placed her on his shoulders. It was strange to be up so high, he already stood a decent three feet over her.

“It is. Where do we go, bird?” he questioned.

His accent was still as thick as the last time she had heard it, clear that he hadn’t been away from Othard for long. Descending the stairs with her, he nudged the door open with his foot, ducking down so she wouldn’t hit the frame.

“Down through this hall. In the main hall, it will be the next door on the right.” She instructed, fingertips holding his horns tightly.

Cassandra had been heading towards her room, gasping audibly as she saw the man walking in her direction, carrying the Inquisitor. “Herald, what is going on?” she asked, her voice sounding angry, though she seemed concerned.

“I’m sorry, I can’t stop yet, I have important news to deliver. This can’t wait.” She managed.

He turned through the door, walking her through.

Cassandra scratched her head in confusion. Varric chuckled slightly, unused to such an expression. “Seeker, remember the Hinterlands? You saw it yourself, he’s clearly like her.” He said.

“Maker, he’s… taller than I pictured.” She breathed.

He shook his head, walking away from her. As fun as it would be to tease her about it, he knew better. She still wasn’t quite over him hiding Hawke’s whereabouts, despite how long it had been.

Pushing through the door to the war room, the reaction was exactly as bewildered as she expected. Kaien lifted her, setting her down beside him. Josephine was at the very least, intrigued to see him, and Leliana made the connection that they were similar without a word. Cullen on the other hand, she knew the look on his face a little, it was the slightest hint of jealousy. Still wary, she gestured to him, smiling slightly.

“This… is my brother, Kaien.” She mumbled. Pointing to them one by one, she introduced them in turn. “This is Josephine, our Ambassador, Leliana, our… intelligence manager, and” she paused briefly. “My husband, Cullen, also our military Commander.”

Kaien bowed slightly, unsure what to make of the people. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He said.

Moving around the table, she stopped next to Josephine, covering her mouth and whispering as quietly as she could, knowing if she were even a little louder, he would easily hear it. “I could… introduce you properly, if you wish?”

Josephine frowned, suppressing a gasp. “Your Worship! That’s… admittedly, not terrible…” she mumbled, her initial protest changing that easily.

“Kaien, if you would, please.” She instructed.

“Of course. As I told her, I came here through a Garlean portal. The one on this side is in a forest to the North. This may not seem like much, however it implies that a castrum has been built and forces gathered under your noses. It is too late to squash the problem easily, however with some planning, it can be done.” He stated, pointing on the map to where the forces had gathered.

“Add to that problem and Ascian threat, and I can assure you, Corypheus pales in comparison. Assuming his threat is dealt with, this matter will only get worse, and quickly.” She said, frowning.

“Very well then, as soon as we’re able to determine where he is hiding, we’ll flush him out, take him down and scout the location to see what intel we can gather. “Leliana said.

She drew a wide circle around the perimeter of the indicated area, displaying where she would place her spies.

“That sounds fine, although one thing at a time. I can’t afford any more mistakes at this point.” Clear frustration in her words.

It was equal parts being lectured, and realizing she had a duty to be responsible that lead her to make that call. Taking on too many things at once would spread resources too thinly, and put far too many people at risk. She had promised to try things Cullen’s way, and at the very least, it made sense from a strategic perspective. Alphinaud was instrumental in bringing down the castrums in Eorzea, perhaps if she told him, he might be able to help with planning as well, a fresh pair of eyes could help. Kaien placed a hand on her head, his palm stretched front to back across the entirety of her scalp.

“I take back what I said earlier, little bird. You’re doing fine.” He told her quietly.

“I…appreciate that, thank you.” She mumbled nervously. “Well… I suppose looking for places he might be hiding would be a fine place to begin.”


	49. Amuse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Art by Elena Kim (Yes, her horns and scales are missing, it's a design decision :3 )

Kaien cracked half a smile, reaching for the little bundle Josie handed him. It wasn’t just to meet his niece but also to better get to know Josephine that she set things up this way.

“Brother, this is Kimiko. “she said quietly.

“She’s so small. I haven’t seen a child this small since you were born.” He said with a chuckle.

Josie put her hands together, taking a seat. “The Herald as a baby? I have to hear about this. What was she like?” she asked

“She was a little thing, and she cried a lot. Used to bite Yuji, but she settled right down for me.” He paused, reaching over, brushing a finger across her forehead. “Like this, that calmed her down.”

Yuuki cleared her throat, cheeks flushed slightly with embarrassment. “Enough about me, I’m sure you and Lady Montilyet should get to know each other better!” she said, trying to distract him.

Turning his focus back to the baby, he shook his head. “Bird, do you think I’m a dim lantern? I see what you’re trying to do. Should it not be her decision if she wishes to speak to me alone?” he retorted calmly.

Standing up, she put a hand on her shoulder as if to signal her to speak up. “Ahh, yes, of course. It isn’t every day that I have the chance to speak to someone from a different world. “she said, nervous.

The Ambassador was always the picture of composure, so it was indeed a rare thing to see her so unsure how to react. Yuuki headed for the door, smiling until her brother spoke up once more.

“Tell your Commander, I say congratulations.” He told her, glancing up briefly.

“Congratulations?” she asked, brushing her hand through her hair slowly. “What for?”

He gestured towards her, shrugging a shoulder. “I thought you knew. My apologies.”

She crossed her arms, frowning. “No, you don’t get to do that, what do you mean?” she grumbled.

Not that he wouldn’t be any more likely to explain it to her with that kind of attitude, but there was nothing more bothersome than people who were vague and then refused to clarify. He sighed, thinking carefully before choosing to answer.

“The child.” He explained, frowning at the look of confusion. “Not her, the other one.”

“I… see, I will tell him.” She said, taking her leave.

She gathered he was mistaken, or possibly had sustained some manner of injury that she wasn’t aware of. Either way, he clearly had no idea what he was talking about. After her was her sister, so perhaps he had blended that with this situation, and it was a matter to look into later. There wasn’t much to do for the time being, waiting on word regarding either Corypheus or the Garleans. A lot of waiting doing things this way, which perhaps wasn’t bad by itself, except that sitting still and doing nothing was too difficult. Walking through the spacious halls, staring at the ground while she walked, she stopped short as a shadow crossed hers.

“Ah, Herald.” He said.

It was Solas, though they didn’t speak much, she recognized his voice quite well. “Solas, how are you?”

“I’m fine. I wonder if I might steal a few moments of your time?” he asked.

In all honesty, she had intended to see if Cid or Urianger had any updates for her. “Of course. I can spare the time.” She said.

He pointed to his door, walking ahead and opening it for her. She stepped in, taking a seat by the wall. Solas stood in front of her, his hands tucked behind his back.

“I wished to ask a simple question before I get to the actual point. Gridania, what is it like?” he questioned.

Yuuki crossed her leg, curling her hands against her knee. “Gridania is the land that claims the Twelveswood for its own. Home to the Conjurer’s Guild and Botany Guild, among others, the goal being harmony between man and nature. Nothing happens without the blessing of the Elementals, and those who defy the will of the woods are punished. Problems with poachers and tempered Sylphs, but otherwise it’s mostly fine.” She told him honestly, assuming he wanted a breakdown of the area, and not her personal feelings about it.

“Tell me about the people.” He requested.

“It sees a lot of adventurers, some unprepared that never come back. The main people are Elezen…that’s…elves, a few Lalafell, some Miqo’te, which… I suppose it would be easiest to say they’re cat people, then there’s a small number of Padjal, which are those who speak to the Elementals, they stop aging, Hyur, which as you can imagine are humans. They have horns. Not like mine, no tails, just horns. Then… there’s Kan-E Senna, the Elder Seedseer, I admire her, strong, kind, beautiful. The kind of woman who inspires compassion and makes even the lowliest being feel special. Mother Miounne also, she’s in charge of the Adventurer’s Guild, but she took care of me, she’s the closest I have to an actual mother. “she told him, smiling brightly as she said that.

A crackle came over her Linkshell, and a voice spoke to her then. “I heard that, Missy!”

She blinked once, grinning when she answered. “Mother, I didn’t know you could hear me.” She said.

“Your friend connected me to this channel, so I could talk to you from time to time. I’ve heard the most wonderful and frightening tales of you. They say you’re in another world, and you’re doing the best you can to save the people there. Mother is so very proud of you!” she said.

Her lip quivered slightly, and she quickly blotted her eyes so she wouldn’t start crying. It was almost as if she knew that was exactly what she needed to hear the most. Solas smiled a little at the reaction, but said nothing. It was none of his business, but to see such a moment of vulnerability from the girl was almost touching. In all the time that he had known her, she had tried her best to be seen as a complete wall.

“Thank you, Mother. As always, I am thrilled to hear you say that. If I happen to have a chance to come back soon, I promise I will come see you.” She said, her voice breaking a little.

“You had better. I’m going to hold you to that, now I hate to cut this short, but Mother has work to do.” She told her, the crackle signaling the end of the communications.

Yuuki cleared her throat, gesturing to the shell. “That was Mother Miounne. “she said, despite certainty that he had gathered that much.

Solas nodded once, moving to lock the doors, before coming back to her. Clearly he didn’t want any interruptions. He leaned in, keeping his voice quiet as he spoke to her. “I’ve made my decision. When the time comes, I will go back. From the way you describe it, I would fit in without much trouble, and I imagine I could be fairly useful. “he told her, patting her head gently.

“I’m happy to hear that. I may not have told you, but I didn’t feel very good about the idea of having to fight you. How about this. As you heard, I may have need to go back soon, why don’t you come with and experience it firsthand? No better way to know what it’s really like than to go, right?”

“I think that’s a fine idea. Let me know when you’re ready to go, and I will certainly accompany you.” He said, leading her towards the door.

A good indicator that he was done talking. It was fine, since she had little else to say. Exiting the room, she took her time walking to the yard, getting waylaid once more, a pair of hands reaching around her, resting on her stomach. 

“So, should I be excited?” he asked.

It was Cullen. Placing her hands over his, she tilted her head up, looking at him. “I… don’t think so, but then again, I have no idea. Can I assume you spoke with my brother?” she asked.

“I did, I admit I was surprised. Hadn’t thought that it would happen so soon though, don’t get me wrong, I’m thrilled.” He said, talking quicker than usual.

“C…Cullen, I’m not quite sure that it’s true, I’m not saying it’s not, or that it is, I don’t know for sure, please don’t get your hopes too high, I don’t want you to be disappointed.” She mumbled quietly, biting her lip.

Turning her to face him, he brushed a hand through her hair, kissing her brow lightly.  “If you aren’t, I won’t be disappointed, but how great would it be if it’s true?” he asked excitedly.

The idea was far from unpleasant, and they had briefly discussed it before, and yet the timing was bad. If anything, it just meant that she had to try and deal with the primary threat as soon as she could. “I’m not sure what to say about it right now. I need to focus on taking Corypheus out before I can do anything, but I swear, after that, things should be calm enough for a short time, that we can look into this a little more.” He said.

He kissed her again, pulling her closer. “I understand. At least this time, you won’t be under constant guard, so there’s that, right?” he whispered against her lips. “We’ll worry about it soon enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't quite sure I'd be working on anything for a little while. This may seem sloppily put together, but I hope it's alright.


	50. Showdown

“This isn’t a smart move, you know that. There aren’t enough forces here to mount a direct assault, I would recommend waiting just a little longer.” Cullen said, staring at the table.

“That hardly matters at this point. We can’t afford to wait even one day more, he’s here now. Any closer and there’d be nothing left to protect.” Yuuki countered.

Snapping the last pieces of scaled armor on and securing it into place, she headed for the door. Glancing back, she smiled. “I’ve went out of my way to actively order everyone else to stay put. I’ll be bringing Kaien and a small team.”

“Did you hear anything that I’ve been saying? This absolutely counts as being reckless.” He sighed, pressing his hand to his brow. A loud sound in the distance called their focus towards a window, a sign that her wait was over, and he was nearby, challenging action. “It looks like there isn’t a lot of choice after all… Please be safe.” Cullen breathed, his look was stern, but his words were begging caution.

Pulling her helmet down, a hand gripping the lance at her side tightly, not answering. Fear had given way to determination, and she was more than ready for this. The problem was that if she stopped again, the temptation to stay would be too great. On her way out, she was joined by Varric, Blackwall and Dorian, her brother catching up last, a staff fixed between his shoulders.

“Since when did you become a mage?” she questioned, watching where she walked.

“You don’t believe you’re the only one who sees the advantage to multiple disciplines, do you?” he asked instead of answering.

“I suppose this isn’t the time to be discussing it. Either way, I welcome it.” She said, pulling a horn from her bag.

With a heavy blow, the sound emerging from it was deafening. Followed quickly by the landing of a large beast, obscured in a puff of snow stirred by the movement. When it cleared, she offered a deep bow of respect, grinning broadly.

“My friend, it’s been far too long since I’ve seen you.” She said by way of greeting.

The conversation appeared to be entirely composed of deep rumblings, and yet it wasn’t even remotely shocking to see her conversing pleasantly with the dragon in front of her. It was short, and ended with her climbing into the seat perched on his back, lazily grasping the reins. Turning her focus to the small party, she waved them to continue. “Keep following the path, it isn’t far at all. I’ll go up a little higher and see what I can gather for information that might be useful.”

Without any extra explanation, the dragon soared higher up, obscured by thick clouds, but not going any closer than needed. With the Breach opened again, it was too risky for such a maneuver. If she played it carefully though, she might be able to land a fairly crippling blow with a well-aimed sky attack. If she missed, the landing alone would leave her vulnerable for a short time. If she waited just a little longer, for the rest of the party to reach him before attacking, even if she needed a moment to recover, they might be able to hold him off for a short time. Funny how long it had been since the last time she actually bothered with strategizing.

“When my friends are in range, I’d like it if you went into a quick dive, around 50 feet down. I’ll jump from there.” She explained to him.

“Are you certain, mortal… I could deliver you to the ground, and perhaps I might aid you.” He offered.

“No, as I stated. I’ll be fine. Stay up here and stay hidden as long as you are able. You’re far more intelligent than many give you credit for. Bring the report to Cid when you can no longer remain here safely. He should be able to understand, and he’ll pass it on to my advisors. Will you do this for me, Midgardsormr?” her voice shaking as the atmospheric cold finally penetrated her armor.

“As you wish.” He replied simply.

Spreading his massive wings, he lunged down, the wind slicing past her while she held on, pushing herself to stand, tightening her grip on the thick leather leads. Yuuki launched herself off his back, turning in a full circle, gripping her spear. Crashing into her target clumsily, pushing back away, landing between Blackwall and Dorian. When the dust settled, they could see the result, he had been hit, but by far not as hard as she intended. Recalling every detail she could, there was supposed to be a dragon coming to help, but it was nowhere to be seen. Ominous enough, no combat support, no dragon backup, just them alone. Wishing now that she had paid closer attention, she couldn’t quite remember the kill order, was Corypheus first, or the dragon? The time for guessing was over, the only option was to go for it. He seemed to be maintaining as much distance as he could manage, but that didn’t offer much protection. Dorian, Varric, and Kaien were more than capable of fighting at range, and she had picked a good job for range or close combat. Jumping towards him, something struck her in the back, knocking her down mid-jump. In the span of just a few seconds, stretched so long it felt like an eternity, as though time itself slowed down and sped up in the same instant, the creature she had come so far to face, to exact her revenge upon, was dead.

“What in any of the Seven Hells just happened?!” she screeched in confused anger.

A voice came from behind her, everyone turning in unison. “I believe that was my fault. I only meant to injure him. That’s too bad.” He chuckled.

Looking up, it was Lahabrea, now so close she could reach out and touch him, a prospect that frightened her. Ascians were something she had never viewed as a threat until Thancred had been possessed. Someone with the skill he had at that point, and for all the fine education and magical talent, he still couldn’t manage to get away. At one point Yuuki was certain she had finally destroyed him, and now, any lingering doubt she had that what happened in the Temple was a simple trick of the mind had disappeared. He was really here, and if he was here, that surely meant he had brought others. With one scant attack, he had obliterated the foe that so many feared, and who even she thought would require an effort unlike anything she had ever mustered. This close, and she couldn’t even raise her weapon, the first time she could recall facing an enemy that paralyzed her this way.

“Don’t concern yourself, child. We have not come for you this day. Think of this as… a friendly greeting said in passing. No, your day will come, where we will end your meddling, but it is not this day.” He chuckled, prodding her forehead before vanishing into thin air.

When the remnants of his energy had faded, legs shaking violently, she dropped. No longer able to force herself to remain standing.

“Come on… even if it wasn’t by your hand, he’s gone, what we came to accomplish is done. We can leave now…” Blackwall said, in an effort to cheer her up.

Kaien heaved a sigh, bending to scoop her up, tossing her gracelessly over his shoulder. Glancing skyward, he noticed the dragon from before had left, no doubt to deliver the report as she had asked. He waved the others to follow.

“In this state, she’s pitiful. This silly girl won’t be able to snap out of it for a little bit. I believe humans call this ‘shock’” he muttered.

The same thoughts echoed in her mind, the big threat here was gone, and two of the major threats from her world had made it here. In Eorzea, after the last visit, it seemed the main threat there was the war between Ishgard and the Dravanians, and yet, Hraesvelgr and Aymeric still sought to broker a peace. It was only Nidhogg and his brood that meant to reignite it. Still, that was a force of possibly thousands of hostile dragons who wouldn’t listen to reason. Coming up with a plan to save both worlds would be the true challenge. Reaching the gates once more, Kaien set her down, crossing his arms as he stared down at her.

“I’ve carried you further than I should have. It’s time for you to learn to walk once again. You have a job, do it.” He told her, his expression unsympathetic.

It was harsh, but that was his way. Her people were not the kind who coddled anyone a moment longer than necessary. By now Yuuki knew it was time for her to put aside her problems and get back to work, even though it felt like something impossible. Again, she expected that to be her last fight, and it was over so quickly it was too much to process. The mere idea of explaining that she had nothing to do with this victory, and it was in fact, a bigger, badder evil leaving her stomach in knots. What hurt more than that was imagining the look on his face when Cullen would find out that instead of being safe, she’d continue to throw herself in danger, and risk her life for everything she held dear. A little time to herself to compose her thoughts and figure out what she would say was probably the best solution for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may seem rushed, but it was meant to be quickly paced. Kind of meant to be so fast it leaves the person reading it confused, but also a measure of strength.


	51. A New Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Admitting her failure, the Herald comes up with a plan that might make things a little easier to manage.

Yuuki stood in the war room, weight pressed to one side, head buried in her hands. The door opened, and footsteps on stone caught her attention. Forcing herself to stand up, the door closed, and long shadows crossed the table. Looking up, Josephine, Leliana and Cullen stood in front of her, waiting for her to speak. Swallowing hard, she took a deep breath. Still not fully prepared to deliver this kind of news, she took a deep breath. Her back still hurt, using that as a distraction to avoid speaking just a little longer.

“I’m here to deliver the report in person. A paper report seemed inappropriate. I’m certain that Cid managed to fill you in on some of the details, but in case that was accepted only as rumor, I’m here to confirm. I did not kill Corypheus, I had no part in it, in fact. It was an Ascian called Lahabrea who is responsible, finished the fight with one attack. It would appear they intend to wage war here to get to me. If there are plans beyond this, I am unaware, though we know the Garleans are here, I am certain they have joined forces.” Yuuki explained, quiet, as though it hurt physically to speak any louder.

“The important thing is not who did it, but that it was done. You have returned to us. This is a foe that you have experience with, we will be reliant upon you.” Leliana said.

Examining the markers on the board, there were new ones in key locations. Turning the conversation away from herself, too ashamed at her perceived failure to want to recognize how important anyone believed her to be at that point.

“are these what I think they are?” she questioned.

“Yes, these are the points our scouts identified as being Garlean holds.” Cullen answered.

“Castrums. Not holds, never holds. Those are manageable. A Castrum will take up a substantial amount of space, and are almost impossible to destroy. I hate to say it but trebuchets won’t be enough to breach the walls. Any strategy surrounding these will require actually going in and taking the fight to hundreds of trained soldiers with much better technology. Clearly we aren’t ready for this, to prepare, I will need to take a team to Eorzea, to grab the Auracite for the Ascian threat, and to stock up on supplies. With that, Cid might be able to come up with something to help mitigate the damage.” She sighed, palming her face once more.

They stared at her expectantly, as if waiting for some genius plan that she kept hidden for just the right moment. It became obvious after a short time that she had no such ideas.

“There is another option. This threat could easily take years before they are fully prepared to do anything serious. If we can foil their plans at each step, that will delay things long enough for the one thought I have. Cullen, for sure I’ll need you to accompany me. I would also recommend bringing a few of the healers and a retinue of soldiers that show promise. Time flows differently in my world. A few months here is much longer there. They could receive a full education in specific disciplines in a very short time, that would greatly help with this.” She stated, pointing further north, Not far from Denerim.

“That could work. But how would such a large group of people make it through before the rift closes?” Cullen asked.

“My brother indicated this spot right here was where he came in. The Garlean portal will be there, lightly guarded. If we can crush the opposition there, we can sneak through easily.” Yuuki said, pushing a spare marker to the location.

“That’s fine. Just tell us what you need from us, we’ll take care of the arrangements and be ready to set off at your word.” Cullen told her.

“I need Cid to come with, as many empty bags as can be carried easily when full, you, of course, and I will also need Solas.” She said, keeping her focus on the table.

“Solas, why him?” Josephine interjected.

“I have a special job for him, in Gridania.” She said, purposely not giving more detail.

“And will your other friends be coming with?” he asked her.

“I would rather they stay behind. They are skilled in combat, and have experience with Garleans. It’s better for everyone here if they stay.” she answered, standing fully and turning to leave. “I’ll go get ready.”

After the door closed, she felt a hand on her wrist, pulling her back. She knew by touch who it was, turning in his arms and laying her head on his chest. “I’m sorry. I’ve let you down, you above all.” She murmured.

He brushed a hand through her hair, holding her tighter. “You could never let me down. You came back to me alive, I’m grateful. If I lost you, I don’t know if I could live with that.” He sighed, kissing her brow.

“I can’t stop here. You know that, right?” she asked, her nails digging into his sides slightly.

“I know, but it’s enough that you want me with you, I might… be able to do something, anything, to help lessen your burdens.” He whispered to her.

The vulnerable side of her was on full display in the hall, and he knew she was uncomfortable. Leading her quickly down the hall, through the door to her room, the only idea he had for protecting her at that moment. Pulling her back once more, he sighed. “I thought it best to come here, I know you don’t like to be seen like this.”

Standing on her toes, she kissed him. “How is it you know me so well? I always thought I had done so well hiding things, and every time, you see through it…” she asked, giving him a light squeeze.

“I often wonder the same thing.” He laughed.

“There is one thing I wanted to ask. Neither world is really safe right now, what should we do about Kimi? I hate the idea of leaving her here, but bringing her with is just as dangerous…” she fidgeted with the edge of his sleeve, reluctant to take away his attention.

“Bring her with, I have no doubt that if things get tense that you know people who could keep her safe if needed. I don’t think that would be necessary, the two of us are more than capable, never mind that you asked for soldiers to join the trip.” He stated, reaching for her hand.

“If you still believe I can.” She said, closing her eyes.

“There isn’t a person here that doesn’t believe you could do anything you wanted.” Cullen assured her, sneaking another kiss. “What I believe is that it’s going to be even harder to steal time alone with you.”

That seemed to be his way of telling her everything was still fine, that he didn’t think any less of her. Always knowing just what to say when she needed to hear it, she pulled away slowly, digging in her bag, she pulled out the armor she had made him, handing it to him. “I think you’ll be needing this again. I have someone I’d like to introduce you to.” She said.

Cullen took the armor, brushing a hand over it in thought. “I take it you’re introducing me to your teacher?” he asked.

“Certainly, though I don’t doubt you’ll be a much better student than I was.” She laughed. “Unless you prefer fighting from the hind quarters.”

Setting it on the couch, he patted her hip. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t prefer fighting behind you. The view is much better.” He teased.

Her face turned an interesting shade of pink, instinctively burying her face in her hands.

“There it is. I haven’t made you blush like that in some time. I’ll have to try a little harder.” He murmured, gripping her side.

“There’s no need. If you had even the faintest idea of how you make me feel at the slightest glance… Well, I’m sure you do know, you’re still teasing, aren’t you?” she asked, realizing it a bit too late.  “Anyway. We should get packed up and ready to go.”


	52. On the Move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A temporary Commander is put in charge, and the group begins the trip to Eorzea.

Almost time to leave, and there was very little left to do. One last matter of business to deal with and everyone could set out for the portal.

“Are you serious?” Cullen asked.

He looked over the young Elezen boy and frowned. Yuuki had been incredibly insistent that he was more than capable of handling things while they were away, but he wasn’t as convinced.

“It isn’t that I don’t trust your judgment. I know your qualifications, if it were perhaps you being put in charge, that would be one matter. I know nothing of his, what makes him fit? More importantly, I already have a second in command.” He argued.

“I could tell you, but it would mean more coming from him. Alphinaud, if you would be so kind as to tell the Commander what makes you qualified?” she asked, folding her arms patiently.

He bowed deeply, clearing his throat. “I am a Scion of the Seventh Dawn, alongside Yuuki. I also led the Crystal Braves, and was instrumental in Operation Archon, which sought to tear down Garlean influence in Eorzea. I may lack the combat experience that she has, but I am a strategist by nature.” He stated.

“He’s also very modest. To say he is a strategist is putting it mildly. He is an incredible tactician, and people respond to it. Though he can come off the wrong way at times.” She stopped, looking at him guiltily. “I’m sorry to say that, but it’s true. Remember when we first met? You didn’t even look at me, Alisaie either, and the next time we met, you told me about the Grand Companies and criticized them for their faults.”

Alphinaud frowned slightly, folding his arms across his chest, thinking back. “You can’t hold that first meeting against me, we were sleeping. The other… I hadn’t yet understood why my grandfather gave his life for a place like that. I’m different now. Motivated. I want to do what I can to continue his legacy…his, and yours.” He admitted, shifting nervously.

Alphinaud was rarely given to say things like that, and admitting that he looked up to her had to be a challenge. Yuuki smiled slightly, turning to face Cullen then. “Is that good enough for you, Commander? If the Garleans decide to press their luck and attempt an invasion while we’re away, there is no better team equipped to handle it than those I’ve gathered here.” She told him.

He sighed, idly massaging his brow in thought. “If you’re so confident, I won’t argue. At the end of the day, you have the final say on everything that happens here. I’ll leave instructions.” He grunted.

“Go on ahead, I’ll join you shortly.” She said, waiting for him to leave. When he was gone, and she was certain he was out of hearing range, she faced him once more. “I trust you. I know the situation that happened with the Crystal Braves, and the losses we’ve incurred are weighing on you still. I wouldn’t have suggested you for this if I didn’t believe you could do it.”

“Are you certain your faith in me isn’t misplaced? Would not Cid or even Thancred be the wiser options?” he asked.

“Cid has other things to deal with, he’ll be coming with us so we know what he needs. Biggs and Wedge will remain here, in charge of technical aspects. Urianger will be here, and if you need it, I’m quite sure he could advise you. Josephine, Cassandra and Leliana will be working in conjunction with you, you won’t have to do anything alone. The communication problem has been dealt with, if there’s something you need, I’ll be available, and if I’m not, the Commander certainly could help. Kaien is also well versed in combat tactics, and as you said, Thancred will be here too. There are plenty of resources.” She explained, shaking her head. “You can do this.”

He raked his fingers through his bangs, nodding slowly. “Understood. I’ll do my best not to let you down. You should get going, I’ll be fine.”

At that, she turned once more, heading out the door to meet up with the others. Falling in at the front, the large group set off. The trip ahead of them was a long one, and if they started now, they could certainly make good time before nightfall.

* * *

 

Reluctant to set up camp for the night, concern that there wouldn’t be enough places for everyone had turned to surprise.

“They’re all used to tight quarters. Remember, not everyone in Skyhold gets your level of accommodations.” Solas said.

She jumped slightly, not expecting him to sneak up on her like that. “I suppose I take that for granted. I’m used to having nice quarters. Though I should mention I’ve done my fair share of sleeping in dirty, unfit places as well.” She defended quickly.

“I wasn’t suggesting you hadn’t. Only to say that it’s not surprising in the least to see this.” He said.

“Most have turned in for the night already. Is there a reason you’re still up? I thought sleeping was your thing.” She asked.

He shrugged. “It is, though I imagined you might appreciate the company.” he said.

“Come to think of it, Cullen is usually still up as well…” she mumbled quietly. “I do like the company; it helps make the hours seem shorter.”

“I believe he is still up. Since you’re on watch, he’s watching the little one.” He stated, taking a seat on a downed tree.

Pacing back and forth, leaving trails in the snow, brushing her fingers over the spine of her tome anxiously, taking far longer to answer than she meant to. The realization that they could be being watched hitting her. Ascians never played fair, and even this far from the primary Castrum, it was still not far enough to avoid Garlean patrols.

“That makes sense. I didn’t think that I was putting that on him. What about you? How are you feeling?” shifting the subject to take her mind off worrying.

“Are you expecting me to be nervous? Perhaps excited? I’m curious at this point and little else. Interested to experience the lands you call home and see if it is indeed as good a fit for me as I was led to believe.” He answered.

“I had no expectations. I only know my experiences with it, and I know they’re not the same as yours. Circumstances are different as well, so I can’t imagine it’s very similar at all.” She said.

Stopping in her steps, she turned suddenly, a sound catching her attention. Far too jumpy, perhaps, only snow falling off a branch.

“So. You spent time as a soldier, right? Would it help you relax at all to talk about it?” he asked. His tone was indifferent, and perhaps she imagined it, but for the briefest of moments, she thought there was actual interest in his words.

Taking a seat, she idly massaged the center of her chest. The cold causing a deeply set ache in the edges of her bones. “Help? I’m not sure. Though it’s something to talk about. Avoiding awkward silence is a specialty of mine.” She joked.

“I don’t find the silence awkward at all.” He said simply, shrugging a shoulder.

“I spent my time in a Castrum in Othard. Not by choice, out of necessity. I got out the first chance I had. Not much else to say. I could bore you with tales of small rebellions, and inconsequential punishments, but that hardly seems like something you’d care to hear about.” She mumbled.

“Obviously it’s more that you’d rather not discuss it, though if you ever do decide to share it, I’m more interested than you think. I’d be more disappointed if you enjoyed such a situation.” He said, the look on his face emphasizing the point.

She wrinkled her nose in disgust, looking away. “How could I enjoy it? I don’t understand the people who joined willingly. Why anyone would want to be a part of that is beyond me. You would think everyone was an unwilling victim, but you’d be wrong! So many people who lost everything joined on purpose. Devoted themselves to a cause like that, for all the pretty speeches about bettering the world, it’s all a front for inciting war and ruining lives.” She spat angrily, the very thought riling her up.

Jumping back up, she resumed her pacing, cracking her knuckles in the hopes of redirecting her sudden anger towards something less destructive than her usual outlets. Taking several slow, deep breaths, she eventually came to a stop, once more taking a seat. He said nothing more, and yet it appeared that he meant to keep watch with her. That he would pass up a chance to spend time in the Fade to be out here listening to her whine, at least in her mind was less of a friendly gesture and more that he was unable to get to sleep after all.

“You know; I could put you out if you’d prefer. It’s a simple enough spell.” Yuuki offered.

He shook his head. “No, I’m fine. If I wanted to sleep, I’d rather do it naturally.”

Her mind wandering, the realization that most of the group would have to split up came to mind. Cullen would need to go to Ul’dah, and a good portion of the soldiers would end up in other places. The healers would go to Gridania, and her… she was always sure to be pulled in several directions. The idea of figuring everything out and keeping track of everyone was daunting. Hard enough not to second guess herself at every turn, especially now, the sudden arrival of so many bad things at once had shaken her enough to make her sloppy. The one good thing being that the sun would be up soon and they could move out again, hopefully before word of their presence got out.


	53. Arrange

The opposition at the portal was light, as expected, and luckily, there was no hard landings to endure. Trying to decide how best to get such a large group where they were needed was the primary challenge at present. Even Cid’s airship could only take a few people at a time. Without everyone being attuned to the Aetherytes along the way, that was unfortunately the best option.

“I don’t have a problem making several trips. Where should I start?” he asked.

“There’s fewer that will need to go to Limsa Lominsa, starting there might be a better choice.” She suggested.

“Alright, maybe I can even get everyone heading that way at once.” He sighed, raking his fingers through his hair.

Yuuki took the time to separate the group by where they were going, to make it easier on Cid. The next smallest group was bound for Gridania, but with Solas, it would be best for her to go as well, making introductions and showing him around. Cullen would be headed for Ul’dah, and again, she had to make introductions there too. It didn’t take long for the airship to fill up and take off, leaving her with a fair amount of free time until he returned for the next group. Her tentative plan was to see everyone off, except Solas and Cullen, and then let Cid off to figure out what he might need for materials.

She took a seat on a bench, Cullen sitting next to her shortly after. She dug in her bag, pulling out a fur lined coat, reaching for Kimi to wrap her up. The coat was far too large by itself, but like this, it was plenty warm, the cold unforgiving to most.

“The hero returns home, how does it feel?” he asked curiously.

“I’m no hero. I never was.” She grumbled, ignoring the rest of the question.

“You know that’s not true. I’ve seen the way the people here look up to you.” He said, gently squeezing her leg.

Heaving a sigh, she shook her head in denial. “You’re the only one I’ve told. I was a nobody when I left Othard. I was a nobody when I got here. No different from anyone else, my importance was imprinted on me by other people. Did you know when I started out, I swept floors for the guilds, I was happy with that. Then I did the kind of work servants do, de-lousing chocobos, cleaning stables, culling pests, tending plants. Things most people think they’re too good to do.” She mumbled.

“What do you believe I did? Or do you think after what I told you that I was a Templar from the start?” he asked, trying only to make her see that no one started out as what they became.

“I understand that just fine. You’re certainly my hero.” She teased.

He looked away and she knew right away that he was blushing. “I haven’t done anything to deserve you thinking of me that way. You’re too capable to need me like that.” He said.

“Now you know how I feel. The things people had me doing were things anyone could have done. It wasn’t until it was discovered that Hydaelyn blessed me that I was given challenging things to do. I was unfamiliar with everything, frightened by the idea of people relying on me. I get pulled away, and I come back and again I’ve been elevated higher. It’s terrifying to go from ‘no one special’ to ‘blessed’, ‘hero’, ‘Warrior of Light’, ‘Saint’ and ‘Andraste’s Herald’. In my heart, I’m just… a normal girl, but it’s far too late to go back…” she said, laying her head on his shoulder.

Cullen smiled, turning slightly to kiss her head. “You know you enjoy it. Maybe not all of it, but I know how much you enjoy the fighting.” He teased.

“I won’t deny that. I love a good fight.” She confessed.

“Yet you also seemed to enjoy being overpowered.” he whispered, certain he knew exactly how she would react.

Sitting up, she stared at him almost accusingly, her face a vibrant red. Before she could come up with any manner of dignified response, the airship landed once more.

“Where are we going next?” Cid asked.

Gesturing to the group bound for Gridania then, she answered. “This group should also be small enough for one trip.”

“Your friend, is he coming too?” he asked, wondering why he wasn’t gathered with the group.

“No, I need to introduce him to Mother Miounne first.”  Yuuki said.

She bent carefully, rummaging through her bag for something, the look on her face suggesting she had forgotten whatever she was searching for.

“That’s fine. I’ll be back sooner than before, Gridania isn’t far from here.” He said, leading the small team to the ship.

When he left, she directed her attention back. “It’ll be late when we’re finished moving everyone and taking care of matters in Gridania, are you alright with staying at the house for the night?” she asked.

He didn’t answer right away, lost in thought to the point that she wondered if he even heard her. Nudging him gently, he snapped out of it, nodding. “That’s fine with me.”

This brought up yet another problem. The last time they were there, it was just them, she would have to figure something out, and quick. One small benefit was that she had removed here linkpearl, too much to deal with getting everything to run smoothly without extra distractions. There might be time to stop in and see her friends, maybe help them out later, but for now, this was more important. For a short time, she regretted leaving Alphinaud behind, knowing he would have already had everything sorted and figured out before they arrived, while with her, it seemed that the minute she solved one problem, two more arose.

“Take the chance to rest, when you can. If you like, I’ll take care of things so you can rest up.” He offered helpfully.

She had come to realize that she was very self-sufficient and that was a source of trouble for him. While not easy, she wanted to rely on him more in the hopes of helping him in some way.

“I’ll take you up on that. There’s so much to do, it’s… a little overwhelming.” She said.

Cullen immediately looked to her tail. It was still, unmoving. A very honest answer, one that couldn’t have been easy for her to give. He leaned in, kissing her brow gently, draping his arm around her shoulders.

“You can count on me, love.” He murmured, looking up as the airship came back into view.


	54. A Hero's Welcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Returning home isn't quite as easy as it should be...

After everyone else had left, it was time to head out. Coerthas was close to Gridania geographically, close enough to walk. The main issue was crossing through the North Shroud. Most enemies in the area could put up a decent fight and were very hostile. Not dangerous for her, perhaps, but still far better to cross through as quickly as possible. Giggling to herself, she earned a few strange looks. A finger propped against her chin, she turned to face her friends.

“Solas, do you remember what you said to me in Haven?” she asked.

He stopped, thinking about it only briefly. “Yes, in regards to you being a hero. You asked if you were riding in on a shining steed.”

“And you said you would have suggested a griffon.” She finished.

“What does that have to do with this?” he questioned.

“We need to cross hostile territory. Most enemies here will give up if you get further away than they are willing to chase. I have a solution to this.” She said.

He said nothing, waiting patiently for more information that wouldn’t follow. She pulled out a horn, blowing into it, an amused smile on her face.

“She’s up to something, isn’t she?” he asked, seemingly directed at Cullen.

“Always. I can’t think of a time when she isn’t.” he replied.

“Ahh, there we go. Feel free to turn around any time.” She directed.

Solas raised an eyebrow, turning around almost suspiciously. A rather energetic griffin stood there waiting, wings fluttering gently, not enough to take flight, but enough to let them know it was eager to serve.

“Where did you get this? They’re extinct…” he began, examining it carefully.

“It was a gift. They’re not extinct here. Get on, it’ll carry you where we need to go, and quickly.” She stated.

Producing a whistle next, she summoned another mount, the draught chocobo from before. Cullen climbed up, taking a seat. Gripping the reins, she turned back for a moment, speaking to the griffin directly.

“We’ll take lead, follow closely behind, and don’t stop for anything until we reach Gridania.” She instructed, waiting on a signal of understanding.

* * *

 

They stopped at the gate, Yuuki at the lead as she dismissed the mounts. Walking up to the guard, she offered an unusual salute, receiving it in return before they let the small group in.

“Welcome home, Lady Homura!” He said as she walked away.

“Thank you, it’s lovely to be back.” She replied.

The trek to the Carline Canopy was fairly short. She paused again a short distance from the door, frowning slightly. This wasn’t going to go as well as she intended it to, and the reason was only too obvious. Taking a deep breath, she walked in, echoing steps behind her comforting. Not more than a few steps in, and a voice called out to her, kind, and yet angry.

“You finally decided to come back. I found out after we spoke that you had been back before this. You couldn’t stop in and see Mother? Do you know how disappointed I am, spending my time worrying about you, only to find that you were here, and didn’t so much as say hello?” she lectured.

Hanging her head in shame, a discreet glance revealing all the patrons turned to look for the source of the Elezen woman’s ire. Approaching the counter, finally looking up, her answer so quiet and nervous that she had to lean in.

“I…I’m sorry, Mother. I worried my return wouldn’t be well received. I had only just learned I was thought to be dead. I should have stopped in and visited you.” She mumbled.

Her features softened and she patted her head gently. “I forgive you. Just don’t do that again!” she scolded, before noticing her company. “Who are your friends?”

It reminded her what she had come to do. “This is Cullen, and Solas.” She hurriedly introduced, offering nothing else. “I had hoped to lend Solas my room for a short time so he can look around the city and meet people. Is that alright?” she asked, her voice still quiet.

“Of course, everyone is welcome here, and if he is a friend of yours, he’s more than welcome to stay here.” Miounne said, turning her focus towards him. “The Innkeep at the end of the counter will be more than happy to direct you to her room. I assume that Yuuki here will be making a trip to the Adder’s Nest as well, before she leaves.” Her tone left no room to argue with her.

Clearly, she meant for her to leave him behind and march down right away. “Yes, Mother…” she answered guiltily.

“Wonderful! Make sure you visit again before you leave. I’ll make sure your friend is well cared for.” She said, waving her off cheerfully.

After saying a temporary goodbye to Solas, Cullen accompanied her to the Adder’s Nest. Immediately upon noticing her, she was greeted in a flurry of salutes and cheers. Not wanting to come off wrong, she offered no explanation, though it appeared that the Serpent Commander intended to save her the trouble. The manner in which he hurried over and began speaking suggested he was the type who spoke of her often, to whoever would listen. That thought alone was more than enough to embarrass her.

“Second Serpent Lieutenant Homura, you finally return! We all knew it wasn’t true, no one could bring our girl down!” he said, by way of greeting.

“Second…Lieutenant?” Cullen asked. Turning to face her, he seemed mildly interested at this title. “I was unaware you actually held official military rank.”

Shrugging a shoulder, she nodded. “Surprise?” she said, more questioning than anything.

“The Lady has come very far. Despite her allegiance to Gridania, every Grand Company across the three city-states courted her. We can’t begin to say just how much she’s done for us, nor how many recruits we receive in her name. So many look up to her and wish to walk the path she chose.” He beamed proudly.

“I hadn’t heard about that; it sounds like you value her highly.” He said, the look on his face suggesting he would have been very interested in hearing about it from her.

This seemed to shock him. “Why didn’t you tell him? Are you not proud to be an Adder?” he asked, a hint of disappointment in his voice.

Quickly denying it, almost frustrated. “It’s not that at all, only that I don’t want to come off as arrogant. I’d happily give my life in service of the Adders, you know that…”

“That would never happen. There’s not a force alive that can stop you!” he said encouragingly.

Around that time, Kimiko began to cry, calling her focus away from the conversation. “Ahh, that reminds me. I have one more stop to make before the end of the night. Please excuse me, I need to go see the Timbermaster… I will do my best to stop by again…” she tried to excuse herself quickly.

Dashing across the way to the Carpenter’s Guild, a troubled look on her face. Catching up with her, he carefully took her in case she needed to be free to deal with her business here.

“What’s here that’s so important?” he asked.

“I need to requisition something. I… should warn you, this may not go well. At the least I’m in for a lecture, at worst it could become tense.” she replied.

“Why tense, have you done something?” he asked again, pressing for details.

“I lost my saw somewhere between here and Thedas. I was explicitly warned and threatened about what would happen if I lost it. I don’t really think he’ll cut my arm off, but I fully expect I’ll be in trouble.” She said, pushing through the door.

He doubted that this guild master would actually punish her for misplacing a tool, finding it harder to believe that anyone could stand up to her. While he couldn’t readily hear the conversation, it was clear she was in some amount of trouble.

“Did you not take me seriously before?” he questioned.

“I did, I swear, it must have fallen out.” Being her defense.

He leaned her over the railing, producing a rather large and broad saw. Cullen watched curiously, wondering if the man would really try to remove her arm for such a simple thing. The reality was almost more shocking to him than that. Drawing his arm back, he swatted her hard with the edge. Biting her lip, she took the punishment as quietly as she could manage. After a short time, he stopped, turning her to face him again.

“Give me a few minutes, I’ll have that finished for you shortly.” He said, almost pleasantly compared to how he had sounded before.

When he was out of view, she hissed out slowly, her hand delicately massaging her butt. It looked more like her pride hurt the most, though Cullen had no doubt that she was definitely feeling it, just from the awkward way she stood.

“Does he often do that?” he asked quietly.

“I don’t know, I’ve always been very responsible about not misplacing my tools, I’ve never seen anyone else do it either. Maybe that’s why?” she answered honestly.

Setting her bag down, she pulled out a pile of coins, the Timbermaster returning not long after, wheeling out a small bed. Putting it in the bag for her, she held out the coins to pay him, but he waved a hand. “Something like this, for someone like you, I won’t charge.” He refused.

“Are you sure, I don’t feel right about just taking it…” she started to argue.

He handed the bag to her, walking back towards the door with her. “Let me see the little one, that’ll be payment enough.”

Cullen hesitated, especially since she had just calmed down. Moving the coat away from her face, the Elezen leaned closer, taking a quick look, adjusting the dark glasses he wore, glancing at Cullen after.

“She looks more like you.” Was all he said, walking back towards his seat. “Thanks for stopping by.”

Exchanging looks, they headed out. Instead of going the way they had gone last time, she diverted to a different path. “There’s a boat this way that will take us right to the housing district.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Timbermaster Beatin actually does threaten to cut your arm off for losing your saw...


	55. Home Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After one last stop, Yuuki and Cullen make it back to the house. Conversation leads to not sleeping.

It took some time to return to the house. Before they reached the dock, they were waylaid one last time. As much as she wanted to refuse anymore distractions for the night, this was far too great an honor for her to complain.

"Pardon, Mistress Yuuki?" A voice had called to her.

"Yes, can I help you?" she asked cautiously.

"I've been sent at the request of the Elder Seedseer, she has heard you've returned and wishes to see you in person." the woman informed her.

No sooner had the words left her mouth, she turned the other way, following the winding paths towards the Conjurer's Guild.

"All things considered, this is a fine distraction. One place you may need to go is this way. E-Sumi Yan is a fine teacher and he will help." she explained, though not looking back.

"I thought you said this teacher of yours is in Ul'dah?" he asked.

"Ah, well yes, that one is. Every job requires a combination of classes that complement each other. I believe you lend yourself well to Paladin, and since I know how you feel about magic, I figure you don't know any. Every Paladin here also knows some basic healing skills." she said, turning again down a different path.

"I can't use magic. You know I'm not a mage..." he said, as if she had tried to tell a joke.

"You think I was born knowing magic? This world is different from yours. Magic is in everyone, you just need to learn how to harness it, and its healing magic, the worst things you can do as a conjurer is elemental spells and make things fall asleep." she assured him.

"I don't know... the idea of using magic seems wrong." he sighed.

"Ultimately, it's your choice. I would never force it on you. I swear it, I've already asked far too much of you in the realm of things you didn't want to do." she mumbled, stopping in front of the conjurer at the entrance.

He moved aside, letting them through. Approaching slowly, she smiled slightly, bowing in greeting.

"It is well to see you again, my friend. How have you been, it feels like ages since you were here." she spoke kindly.

"I've... been well, all things considered." she said, not wishing to burden her with problems.

"Is there aught we can do to make your stay better?" she questioned, her smile as radiant as ever.

At this, she excused herself for just a moment, speaking privately with Cullen for a short time. Walking back to her together, she frowned.

"I... you're possibly the only one I would trust with this matter. Our daughter, she may be harboring some of Halone's energy... could you tell for sure? I need to make sure she's alright... Maybe figure out if this is a problem?" she asked, just short of begging.

Kan-e took her gently, shaking her head after a moment. "I can't tell, but if you would trust me with her for tonight, I will ask the aid of the Elementals and I will be able to tell you what you wish to know." she assured them.

"Do you trust her?" Cullen whispered to her, unsure on his own.

"I trust her implicitly, she is, by far, the kindest and gentlest person I've ever met." she answered, equally quiet.

Nodding to her then, he sighed. "Yuuki trusts you, and that's enough for me. As much as I'd rather not leave her anywhere but with us, she's right. This is important..." he relented.

"Thank you, I realize you have no reason to trust me personally, but it's good to see that you trust her. Equally glad am I that she has finally started to open up again." she said.  "However, it is late, I am sure you wish to rest up for the night. Please, return tomorrow after you've had some time to recover from your journey." she said.

"We greatly appreciate the help, My Lady." she replied, turning to leave.

“Are you sure this is the best idea?” he asked, his hand brushing the back of his neck.

“I would never willingly put her in harm’s way, if nothing else, trust that.” She murmured.

Following the paths back to the dock, they boarded the boat to the housing district. Stretching out lazily, she laid her head on the edge with a sigh.

“Is it always so busy for you?” he questioned.

“I rarely ever get a break. This is light compared to what it usually is, but I’ve purposely kept my Linkpearl off. I’ll turn it back on tomorrow, though I suppose that means I’ll hear about it from someone.” She groaned, hiding her face in her hands.

The trip across the river was fairly short, arriving at the dock a few minutes after departing. Yuuki struggled to sit up, climbing out awkwardly. Entering the gate, the familiar trails leading to her home were easy enough to follow. Grabbing her key, she opened the door, immediately turning towards the stairs. Cullen said nothing, knowing she was exhausted. Pausing at the dresser, she pulled open the drawer, staring at the clothes for a bit before closing it once more. Hastily tossing off her clothes, down to her smalls, she all but fell face first into the bed, pulling herself into a half-hearted ball. Taking her lead, he peeled off his clothes, crawling in next to her, almost immediately feeling her head on his chest.

“It has been a long day for you, hasn’t it? I can’t remember the last time you were so eager to get to bed. For sleep, I mean.” He corrected himself.

Being completely honest, despite not having to deal with as much business as she had, the sheer amount of running around they did had him tired out as well. Yuuki had mentioned time and again that she had started as a simple adventurer, and while he had a background laced with experience in both menial tasks and combat like her, it didn’t make the constant travel any less strenuous. Adding to it that he still had no idea how to get around, he found himself sincerely wishing she was planning to accompany him, the idea of getting lost in a place so foreign unnerving. She glanced up at him, almost as though she had read his mind, a slight smile on her face.

“I won’t leave you. If you decide this path is what you want, since we’re already here, I’ll introduce you to E-Sumi Yan when you’re ready.” She told him.

Her arm reaching across his chest, turning slightly onto her side. Cullen reached down her back, lightly brushing a hand over her hip, careful not to directly touch her, certain that it still hurt.

“I don’t mean to change the subject, but I meant to ask. Does it hurt?” he asked quietly.

“Assuming you’d rather I tell the truth, it’s incredibly painful. He has quite an arm on him.” She mumbled irritably.

“Why didn’t you do something about it?” he pressed.

For such a headstrong girl, he imagined she would have even gone so far as to pick a fight right there in the guild. Moving away from her, he slid easily down the bed, turning her onto her stomach. The reason it hurt was quite obvious, a blackened bruise all across her back, and slightly over her thighs.

“Because I was raised to take punishment where it is due, and not argue it. I knew from the day I signed up what the rules were, and that there was a penalty for losing my tools. As I said, it was entirely my fault, and I’m no stranger to it. You think he’s erratic, you should meet Severian.” She grumbled, glancing back at him for a moment.

“Who’s that?” was all he said.

He lightly kissed her hip, unsure what else to do to make her feel better. Moving back beside her, he folded his arms around her, keeping her close. With her so close like this, the need for blankets was gone. Gridania seemed to have a warmer climate than Ishgard, though admittedly, that place was colder than even he was used to.

“The Guildmaster of the Alchemist’s Guild in Ul’dah. At first, when I signed up, he barely noticed me, and in fact seemed annoyed that I was there. Apparently I must have shown promise, it didn’t take him more than a few minutes to take me on as his personal apprentice, but he’s perhaps more irritable than most. He doesn’t tolerate failure, and thankfully I’ve never been on the receiving end of his wrath. I once saw him force a recruit to test the potion they made. The poor guy was sick right away, and had to be taken to the healers. If you can believe it, the Weaver’s Guild’s leader is a bit of a pain to deal with too.” She explained.

“Are there _any_ reasonable Guild masters here?” he asked, as though he fully expected the answer to be ‘no’.

“Plenty, Luciane is wonderfully easygoing, and lovely as well. She runs the Archer’s guild here. E-Sumi Yan is good as well. If mining is your thing, Adalberta is tough, but fair. Then there’s Fufucha at the Botanist’s Guild. Serendipity at the Goldsmith’s Guild… who else…” she murmured in thought. “Ahh! Ywain. The master of the Lancer’s guild. Unfortunately, due to interference, my lessons with him were more of a challenge than they were meant to be…”

“That’s a lot of guilds…” he replied, trying to keep it straight in his mind.

“Those are mostly just the crafting and gathering guilds. Many of the others are somewhere between. H’naanza doesn’t tolerate amateur work, and Lyngsath is all about quality. Brithael… he’s good, but I admit, I’m sometimes not sure if he’s judging me or my work. If I thought you needed basic skill training, we’d be going to see Mylla, she runs the Gladiator Guild. She’s beautiful, and very strong. Though I’d never want to get on her bad side…” she admitted.

“Well, if not her, then who is this teacher you mean for me to see? There’s been so many names, but you’ve yet to tell me anything about what you intend for me.” He said, reaching a hand to her hair, idly twisting a short strand between his fingers.

“His name is Jenlyns. He’ll be giving you most of your training, then after he has nothing left to teach, I’ll have to bring you to Coerthas, around where we just were before we got here, in fact. Constaint will finish off the lessons.” She said, keeping it fairly simple.

“You know the same things; why can’t you just teach me?” he insisted.

Yuuki leaned in, kissing him gently. “I’m a horribly strict teacher.” She joked.

“I bet. Can’t say you wouldn’t have my full attention.” He teased.

Leaning closer, he kissed her neck, stopping long enough to speak once more. “What’s the real reason, I’m curious.”

She bit her lip, stifling a faint moan. “I don’t believe you’d want to spend that much time fighting with me, for one. The main reason is that I can’t give you a soul stone, not everyone can even get them in certain cases, such as Dragoon. Estinien is the Azure Dragoon, and there’s only one at a time. I was a first in the entire history of the job. Never has there been more than one at a time. Usually, soul stones react only to certain people, Paladin is an exception, every member of the Sultansworn possess them. Before you get concerned about the name, I assure you, it’s not evil or anything. It’s a multi-aspected crystal that bears the memory of deeds done by others long past.” She told him.

She knew he heard her, and was fairly sure that he understood, and yet he also seemed more concerned with her at the moment.

“I see…” he mumbled, nipping softly at her neck.

Closing her eyes, she tipped her head to the side slightly, closing her eyes. “I thought you were tired too.” She sighed, grasping his shoulders.

“I was, but I think I’m waking up.” He answered, bringing her closer against him.

“Alright, alright, you win. I can manage to stay up a little longer for you…” she breathed.

He turned onto his back, pulling her over him, his hands resting at her waist. “This might be more comfortable for you. I don’t want to cause you pain.” He told her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's planned smut in a few of the upcoming chapters, brace yourselves~
> 
>  
> 
> *always feel free to comment, feedback is helpful :D!


	56. No Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki learns that sleep is highly overrated.

Cullen brought his hands up, fixed on the edges of her bra, unhooking it, tossing it to the side when he got it off. Slipping around the front, he rested his hands on her breasts, thumbs brushing across her nipples slowly, the roughness of his skin contrasting with the softness of hers. His mouth warm and wet on her neck, squirming slightly in response to the pleasurable way it felt. His hand wandered slowly down her body, pausing at the delicate band of her panties, pulling away long enough to ask a quick question.

“Do you want to save these, or do you not care?” he questioned.

An odd question, one she didn’t seem to care one way or the other about. Bringing his other hand down, he nudged her slightly, leaning down to kiss him, biting his lip and tugging, her tongue slipping in, sliding easily against his. She arched her back, answering wordlessly. Hooking his fingers on the thin fabric, he pulled firmly, tearing them off with little effort, dropping the shredded piece to the floor. A muffled moan lost in the kiss, he reached lower, pulling at the back of her knees, adjusting her position. When he was certain she was comfortable, he rested an arm around her waist, his free hand pressed between her thighs, gently gliding back and forth. Hard to tell in the dark, but he was almost certain she had to be blushing, the tension he could sense in her fading away slowly. It had been some time since they last had the chance to be alone like this, unsurprising that she was already getting worked up. Cullen carefully worked two fingers in, moving back into his touch. Groaning quietly, hips lifting towards, the heat spreading between them rising. Cullen broke the kiss briefly, speaking once more, barely above a whisper, bringing his hand away from her.

“I’m curious, did you think about this, last time we were here?” he asked, seeking out her neck once more before continuing. “I did…”

Her eyes slid shut, head dropping to the side for him, her response shaky in a way that said she was embarrassed by the question. “A little…” she mumbled.

“Just a little?” he teased, moving her away long enough to remove the last piece of clothing between them.

“Alright, more than just a little…” she admitted.

He chuckled slightly, guiding her down against him. “Was that so hard to say?” he asked.

Bending down, nipping at his ear gently. “I didn’t think you wanted to talk.” She whispered.

His hands came to rest on her waist, moving her slowly at first. She was right, they could talk any time, and there were better ways to pass the time. She looked away, embarrassed, her hips swaying as she rocked herself back and forth against him.

"Yuuki... look at me…"He asked, his voice soft.

Her head turned slowly, her hands resting on his chest. It made her feel strange, and more exposed than she had ever felt, nowhere to hide from his gaze. She hesitated, her eyes fixing on his then, lifting herself a little, slowly figuring out the best ways to move in this position. His hands were warm on her skin, and firm as he helped her move, finding the pink tint to her cheeks enjoyable, though the minimal light hid much of it. She moved in small circles, the amount of control almost too much for her. It said a lot about her, the quick way she worked against him, the way she brought him in deeply, and how firmly she took him. Cullen watched her lips part, a sigh escaping, following down her body, her breasts moving as she rode him hard. He moaned then, pulling her down harder. Her hands slid from his chest to his shoulders, massaging firmly as she leaned forward against him, feeling how the movement shifted him inside her, panting heavily, bringing herself down faster. He reached back from her hips, rolling her back and forth faster. She seemed to freeze for a bit, her nails digging into his skin firmly. Realizing that she wouldn’t be able to hold much longer, he pulled her down as tightly as he could, holding her still, her whole body shaking as he did. She bit her lip, unable to muffle the sounds of her breathing as she tipped her head back, urging herself to keep going. Cullen let up on his grip slightly, being gentler then as he aided her, not wanting to overload her senses. He thrust upwards into her, his eyes slid shut and his head pressed back against the pillow. Bringing her down against him then as he slammed into her again, he held her down tightly once more, panting heavily as his body tensed, the flood of heat inside her making her squirm. Yuuki stared down at him, her face bright red, the feeling almost too intense between them. She averted her eyes then, strangely embarrassed, quickly moving off of him, stretching out beside him.

Cullen propped himself up on his arm, reaching to brush a hand through her hair, smiling a little at her.

"I still can't believe it." He murmured.

"What?" She asked shyly.

"You inspire awe and fear, that raw power you display… and yet... here, with me, I see the most vulnerable side of you..." he whispered teasingly.

She bit her lip, looking at him for a moment. "That… that's different!" she insisted. Pulling her towards him, he kissed her briefly, holding her face in his hand.

"I like it. " he insisted.

She laughed a little. "And I like it when you control what happens." she stated.

Kissing her once more, he laughed. "Is that so?"

Yuuki nodded once, pressing her forehead against his.

"So, you would have no complaints if I decided to have you again, right now?" he asked, smirking.

Hiding against his shoulder, she shook her head slowly. “If that was what you wanted, I wouldn’t say no. I’ve said before, complaining means I don’t enjoy it, and that’s clearly not the case.”

He kissed her cheek. "Lucky for you, I need a minute." He said.

She moved then, laying her head against his chest, bringing her arm around him. He held her closer to him, looking her over slowly. He noticed a little bruising around her waist and hips, and the marks on her neck, smiling to himself. She never complained about the way he handled her, and to him, those marks were a display of passion, knowing that he bore similar marks, from her teeth and nails. It was a sign of how thoroughly they pleased each other. Sighing quietly, Cullen reached down, rubbing her thigh then, admiring the way she looked in his arms. In his mind, still hoping this wasn't just a dream that he would one day wake up from.

Smiling then, wanting to make her blush, he breathed out. "How many more times do you think we can manage before the night is over?" He teased.

She gasped a little at the question, her face flushing deeply as she looked up at him. "I…I'm not… I mean, I don't know?" She mumbled, hiding her face against his chest.

Cullen chuckled a little at this, bringing his hand up to play with her hair. "There we go... that's the reaction I was going for..." he said.

Making a quiet sound of disapproval, knowing without a doubt that it brought out that more vulnerable side she didn’t like to show, but it was too hard to resist.

“Am I that amusing to watch?” she grumbled.

“Would I keep doing it if you weren’t?” he countered.

“No, I suppose not…” she sighed.

“It’s your choice, whether you would rather sleep or stay up awhile longer.” He said, changing the subject on her again.

Biting his earlobe lightly, the feeling of her breath as she spoke making him shiver. “Why should it always be my choice? Maybe I’d enjoy it if it weren’t.”

Turning fully to face her, he held her tighter. Leaning in, biting slowly down her neck, his reply slow and almost distracted. “I thought your people viewed that as weakness, that it was a bad thing. Letting someone take away that choice doesn’t bother you?” he asked.

“You’re not just someone, you’re mine. There’s a difference.” She said decisively.

“I get the feeling that isn’t supposed to make any difference at all, but you’ll get no arguments here.” He murmured.


	57. The Grand Melee (Part 1)

Cullen crawled almost lazily out of bed, slowly trudging down the steps. He hadn’t bothered to check for her, knowing that no matter how tired she might be, she was already up. Sure enough, he could hear her working, though when he saw her, it was nothing like he expected to find her. Clearly fresh from a shower, no apron today, a towel wrapped around her, busily setting the table. She looked up with a smile, gesturing towards the cushions on the floor.

“I figured you’d be up shortly. Sleep well?” she asked.

Kneeling on the cushion, he groaned, with a slight nod. “I did, how long have you been up?”

“Not long, just long enough to shower and get breakfast ready. It seems I have to get ready, I received word shortly after my shower. I need to make for Ishgard to meet with the Lord Commander.” She answered, putting her things away and taking a seat across from him.

Cullen wrinkled his nose at the news, finally answering some time later. “And what does he want?”

Taking a sip of the tea she had set out, a slight shrug accompanying a far too casual answer. “He wishes for me to represent Ishgard in the Grand Melee he arranged between them and the three city-states. Morale has been fairly low after the events of my last visit. He believes an Ishgardian victory is what’s needed to remedy that.”

It was a challenge to focus on the food, trying to remain calm after hearing that. “Not Gridania then? Won’t that bother the Adders?” he questioned.

“No, I suspect not. The Grand Companies have aspired to an alliance with Ishgard for some time, and if this helps to accomplish that, I daresay they won’t mind who I fight for. Make no mistake, if not with the Lord Commander, I’ll be dragged into this no matter what.” She sighed.

“Will he be fighting as well or does he expect you to do it all yourself?” he snorted irritably.

“As I hear it, the Lord Commander will be fighting as well.” She said.

For all her assurances at his skill, he had yet to witness him in combat, not to mention he had far too few opportunities to see her in such a situation. At the very least, his interest was piqued. “I’d like to go. A chance to witness the people you’ve fought for in battle is something worth watching.”

Yuuki meant to take him around to meet people today, though with the pending tournament, almost everyone of importance would be called away as well. There was no reason to prevent him from going, and it wasn’t as though she wanted to tell him to stay back. “That’s fine. I daresay even Solas might be there. Miounne wouldn’t miss it either. It can wait awhile longer, if you’d like a shower before we head out. I’ll teach you how to attune to the crystals as well, so hopefully the return will be much faster.”

Cullen only nodded, finishing his breakfast quickly and heading for the shower. Worried about what he might say, she had sent a message to the Elder Seedseer to go on ahead and she would meet with her after the tournament. For now, she busied herself with putting the dishes away and finding clothing. Her armor loosely arranged, she pressed it tightly into place, setting her spear on her back. She opened the door a crack, setting his clothes on a stand for him, digging through her stuff to make sure she was ready. Anything she might readily need fixed along her belt for easy access. The way there would have to be the longer way, but if they made the stops to hit the crystals on the way there, they could teleport back.

* * *

 

Cullen followed her into the Lord Commander’s office, leaned against a wall while she discussed the finer details of the tournament. There were others in the office that he didn’t recognize, but by the greeting the older man extended, he was certain she knew them well.

“Lady Homura, it does my heart well to see you here. Since you’ve decided to side with Ishgard, I wonder if I might ask a favor of you?” he asked.

She turned, bowing deeply to him. “Anything, I swear it’s no trouble, whatever it is.” She said, a hint of sadness in her voice.

“I wondered if you might wear the armor of House Fortemps. You’ve been as a daughter to my family, and I know if Haurchefant were still with us, it would make him proud to see you wearing it.” He said.

Cullen realized who he was, feeling a slight twinge of pain for her. It was a request he knew she would honor, but not easily.

“I…of course, it would be an honor.” She murmured quietly, a guard handing it over to her.

That they already had a set prepared for her said there had been no need to ask, knowing she would accept before they arrived. Turning towards the younger guest, he could sense tension between her and the Elezen man, though he couldn’t say why.

“Emmanellain, I take it you’ll be fighting as well?” she asked.

“Of course, old girl. I wouldn’t miss this for anything.” He answered calmly.

“You know I hate it when you call me that. I’m younger than you. I should be calling you ‘old boy’.” She countered.

By way of a peace offering, he handed her a shield adorned with a red unicorn. “May it serve you well, old girl.” He said.

She shot him a look, but said nothing. Emmanellain was prone to doing and saying whatever he wanted, and changing that would be nearly impossible.

“I suppose that I’ll go get changed…” she mumbled. Excusing herself for a short time.

When she returned, she wore the armor she had been given. She must have changed at some point, two beautifully decorated daggers at her side, the spear and shield nowhere to be seen. Sparing a glance towards Cullen, she turned back to face the Lord Commander. “I’m ready”

Rolling the chainmail up to her elbows, she made some adjustments to the daggers while she walked, stopping mid-step just on the other side of the gate. This was a place that needed no explanation for her, though before she could tell him anything, Aymeric addressed the gathered crowds. This was the battleground of his choosing, and what a choice it was. This place was special because Halone’s gaze watched over them, tethers in the ground attaching to several people, connected by twisted strands of energy. While he still had the chance, Cullen leaned in, whispering quietly. It had never been proven one way or another is she was rid of any of the Goddess' excessive energy.

“Does it hurt at all?” he asked.

“A little, but not terribly. It could be residual…” she answered.

He couldn’t speak with her any further, watching her walk away, reaching for her weapons as she strode out. Aymeric spared her a glance, hand resting on the hilt of his sword.

“We can handle the rest, go for the tethered combatants.” He told her.

Nodding once, she raised her hands, pressing them together loosely, making a few quick gestures. A rush of water raised around her, before settling, some other inexplicable action following, her blades glowing, she reached for them, crossing her arms in front of herself. At the signal, it was chaos, people engaging others in combat scattered across the field, and Yuuki vanished, nowhere to be seen. No sign she had ever been there at all, until she appeared behind the red suited woman. Her blades swung down, glancing her side, jumping out of the way before a countering move could be made. A voice called over the crowd.

“Go after the Lady, focus on her!” he shouted.

Aymeric gestured to his soldiers, ordering them to flank her for protection. At the very least, he seemed to want to keep her safe, and that was something of note. These were people he imagined she knew well, and despite the fact that this seemed to be only a friendly competition, that they went after her so readily concerned him.

Thankful for her overly sensitive hearing, the approach of someone at her back was early enough for her to react. Jumping up, she planted a foot on the back of the tethered woman, flipping over behind the soldier in yellow, the color of the Twin Adders, one of her own comrades. Without a hint of hesitation, she buried a dagger in his side, not a particularly strong blow, but the sudden black veiny appearance suggested the glow he had noted earlier was a form of poison. He fell to the side, her attention turning back to the woman. Springing back, with a gesture, a spray of thin needles hit her. Resembling a pincushion, and she still fought. Tucking her blades away, she made a few more signs with her hands, an ominous circle forming underneath her. Following up with another series of still less familiar signs, this time fire-aspected energy washing over her. The tether blinked out of existence as the woman fell. Across the field, it reconnected to a different person.

“Yuuki, over here!” Aymeric shouted.

Her hands resting on her blades, she disappeared again, rolling along the Lord Commander’s back, blinking back into existence, dropping low to sweep the man’s legs out from under him. She halted just short of attacking him, taking a deep breath. Scanning the field, she noted the presence of a bard.

“Army’s Paeon, if you can.” She called, calmly for someone in a dangerous position.

The bard pulled out a harp, plucking the strings. It was a fast-paced melody, one that seemed to trigger something in the Ishgardian forces. Yuuki knelt down, jamming the blade in the downed soldier’s shoulder, the tether once more vanishing after a time. Cullen crossed his arms, watching as objectively as he could. Something was different though, unable to tell if her steps had lightened or if she was actually dancing. Either way, she from the sidelines, the only thing evident was the skillful way she danced around arrows and blades with ease.

Freezing in her steps, she dropped down again, in time to miss a hasty thrust from a lancer. “You’ll never hit me that way.” She taunted, rolling to the side before bringing herself back up. Not fast enough, she felt something cut into her side, pressing a hand to the wound, her hand reaching back, dropping the assailant.

“Are you alright?” the Lord Commander asked.

Reaching to her belt, she pulled out a vial, popping the stopper and tipping it back. Tossing it far away from the field, she gave a nod. “I’ll be fine, I came prepared.”

It wouldn’t heal the wound, but it was enough to stop the bleeding and mute the pain.


	58. The Grand Melee (Part 2)

Looking to his side, he noticed the man from before standing beside him. Turning his focus back to the fight, he barely registered the words he said.

“What do you think?” he asked.

“About which part?” Cullen replied distractedly.

“The Lady. A little unfair, I suppose. Her presence here ensured victory for Ishgard today.” He answered.

“It’s hardly over.” He answered.

Despite the fresh injury, she kept going, certain by this point that she was actually dancing, her steps matching up with the rhythm of the tune the Bard was playing. Smiling a little, though she had never done that to his recollection, it seemed just like her to do something like that. This was clearly a game to her, no trace of serious concentration obvious on her face.

“Oh, don’t be fooled. It’s absolutely over, the others just don’t realize it yet. My son had the chance to fight at her side a few times. Told me it was an honor, and yet her presence made his unnecessary. That girl has a way of taking charge that few can match. Look how my Emmanellain is struggling, even the Lord Commander is having trouble matching her pace.” He commented.

“I hadn’t caught your name earlier.” He said, wondering vaguely if he was someone she had spoken of before.

“Count Edmond de Fortemps.” He answered, attention fixed on the battle.

Not a familiar name to his recollection, though he certainly remembered hearing much of his sons. “Are you also Artoirel’s father then?” he asked.

“You’ve heard of him? I would imagine it was the Lady herself that spoke of him?” he probed.

“Yes, she’s mentioned him before, Emmanellain as well, though I admit I heard the most of Haurchefant. “ he answered.

“The Lady bears the guilt of his death still, then? I had hoped that one day they might grow close enough to wed, but it seems it was never meant to be. If I don’t find the chance to tell her, give her this for me?” he asked.

Cullen turned away briefly, an envelope and some manner of plainly wrapped package offered to him. “Why to me?” he questioned.

“I would give it to Aymeric for her, but I couldn’t help but notice you seem to be around her more often than he is.” He said, no implications hidden behind it, nor accusations.

A sudden sound drew their focus away from the conversation, a hush following the announcement.

“The Fury’s Gaze fell on Yuuki, form a line in front of her, let no one pass!” the Lord Commander shouted in order.

Everyone on the Ishgardian side surrounded her, weapons readied. Shifting his glance towards her, an obvious grin on her face as if she had just been waiting for this moment. Aymeric stood at her side, sword held in front of him, though Cullen immediately noticed the look on his face, crossing the field was a man he didn’t recognize except from the portrait in her room, the hulking man was missing an arm, no less intimidating for the fact. He was unsure of the stories but had heard whispers that matched his description following the events of the Winter Palace.

“The Bull of Ala Mhigo. General Raubahn Aldynn.” The Count explained.

A General, even his rank was higher than hers, to say nothing of just how tall and broad he was. One arm or two, the man looked like he could rip even the toughest man in half with ease. Rushing towards them, the soldiers braced for the impact, but it didn’t come. He reached to his side, a blade almost as large as Yuuki herself raised, he swung it, the rush of energy released knocking all but Aymeric away. He jumped in front of her, holding off his blade longer than Cullen imagined possible. Pushing him back, he prepared a counter, but was flung aside as easily as if he weighed nothing. He led her away, to the center of the field, an unsound strategy. So open like that, she lost any defensible ground she had, vulnerable in the extreme. With a wave of his sword, a circle of flames rose up around them, preventing anyone from returning to help her. As slight an injury as it might be, she was still at less than her best, and he actually felt concern for her safety.

“I’ve been dreaming of this day for a long time now. Shall we dance, Lady Homura?” he asked, his voice carrying.

“General, you flatter me.” She said, raising her blades in front of her once more. “Come on then, let’s go.”

This was hardly the moment to be issuing challenges, especially when facing an opponent of such skill. Wasting no time, she ducked down, aiming for his side, a rush of fire forcing her back to avoid a direct blow. His attacks kept her on her toes, no opening for any kind of direct assault. Flipping back, she turned on her palm, spraying needles at him. They were little more than an inconvenience to him, barely taking notice. He charged, crashing into her, knocking her back into the fire, though she emerged unscathed.

“You like fire, General? Have I got a trick for you.” She taunted.

Reaching for another flask, she pulled out the stopper, tipping it back. Standing still, she pressed a finger between her lips, doing something that he couldn’t see from that angle. Pulling it back just as he stood in front of her, fire spewed from her mouth, another momentary annoyance, but enough to make him back away. He swung the sword down, raising her arm in defense. Without armor protecting her, he was convinced she was about to lose the limb, the second time since they arrived that such a possibility came about. The blade connected, but was deflected, a feat that shouldn’t have been possible with bare flesh.

“How is it you’ve blocked my attack?” he asked, clearly interested in knowing the reason.

She didn’t answer right away, raising her arm towards him, though what caught his attention was uncertain. Only after her response did it become obvious.

“General, you can’t cut dragons with such a sloppy approach.” She said.

Charging her back into the fire to buy himself a few moments, she once again emerged unharmed, rolling her shoulders before taking her stance again. Raubahn planted his sword in the ground, the thought occurring that he might be surrendering until the blade split and multiplied, fire swirling around each blade. Yuuki glanced between them, hesitant to do anything. She could press her luck with a direct assault, but this was a problem. There was a trick to this, there was always a trick to the attack patterns of enemies. The question of whether she could find it in time was the thing. Raubahn stood still, laughing to himself, confident that she wouldn’t be able to figure it out before they would explode.

“Why aren’t they doing anything? He’s wide open, she could take him out…” Cullen mumbled nervously.

“She can’t. If she takes her attention away from those blades, it’s all over.” The Count replied, gripping his cane tightly.

She walked hastily around the circle, eyes flitting between the blades, running over the few thoughts she had in her mind. Fake? Couldn’t be, a rudimentary tap revealed it was completely solid. The heat continuing to rise with each passing second. Turning to look at his face, she followed his line of sight, realizing what was going on. Gripping her daggers tightly, she stopped in front of one of the blades, unleashing a furious assault, the blade breaking after a short time. Noticing the others hadn’t vanished as she suspected they might, she grimaced, moving to the next one. It hit her then, it was almost identical to the flaming nails in her battle with Ifrit. She had to destroy the swords within a set amount of time or they would explode.

“Time’s wasting, girl.” He said, grinning widely.

The second one breaking, she sighed. Two more left, and no way of knowing how much longer she had, making her way to the third one. Shattering it, she leapt to the last one, her heart beating almost out of her chest now, full on panic washing over her, his hand reaching out for his weapon, a  fine warning that her time was about to run out. This one was far more durable, the strained sound of her breathing distracting her for a moment. Bringing both hands down together, a crack formed along the blade, pulling her knee up against it, fragments falling away, before it crumbled. No time to catch her breath, managing to put just barely enough distance between him and herself to avoid being hit. She was running out of energy, and that she wasn’t reaching for anything seemed to imply there was nothing she could do to remedy that. One last ditch effort, that was all that was left. If she couldn’t bring him down now, he would win, and the shame of letting everyone down was too much to bear. Without a sound, she took a step back, vanishing once more. He backed up, keeping himself as close to the flames as he could stand, anticipating she would go for his back, he seemed to be counting on her to reappear, unable to do anything. There was no sign of her, moments stretching on without any clue as to where she was, until the General doubled over, dropping his weapon, draping his arm over his midsection. She reappeared, on one knee, blades dripping blood, glowing vibrant purple, different from earlier. The ring of fire dissipated, a small man rushing to his side.

“Father! Are you alright?” he called out.

Raubahn laughed, raising his hand weakly, patting his head. “I’m fine Pipin. I couldn’t be better, in fact.”

“I’ll fetch a healer for you.” He said, rushing off.

“A worthier opponent than I expected. I look forward to meeting you in battle again.” He grunted.

She mustered up the last of her energy to bow. “Thank you, I almost thought the fight was yours.” She admitted, falling to her knees.

The last of her stamina now gone, all she could do was sit there and try to catch her breath. Aymeric made his way back onto the field, bending low to scoop her up, passing her off to Cullen for a moment.

“I need to meet with the Grand Companies, will you be joining us in celebration later?” he asked, turning his glance to Cullen. “I mean for you to come as well, of course.”

He looked down at her, as if waiting to see what she wanted to do first. She nodded once, and he mimicked the gesture. “Of course. “

“She has a room at the Forgotten Knight, if you’d like to rest up before the festivities, I’ll send for a chirurgeon to tend to her presently.” He offered.

“I have to go that way as well. I can show you the way if you don’t know where it is.” The Count offered.

“Thank you, she usually leads the way, I’m afraid I don’t know where anything is yet.” He mumbled.

Waiting on Emmanellain, they set off when he caught up with them.

“The old girl put up a good fight, it was thrilling to watch, wasn’t it, Father?” he asked, his tone rather excitable.

“It was, though you did well for your first taste of combat as well.” He praised.

“Someday, I’ll be as good as she is. Just you wait and see!” he swore, rubbing his shoulder.

Yuuki appeared to be resting, a shame that she wasn’t able to hear this. He imagined it would have done wonders for her to know that Haurchefant wasn’t the only son of House Fortemps that looked up to her.

Just outside the Knight, he saw a tall Elezen male waiting. “The word has already spread, is it true that the Lady took on the Bull?” he asked.

“Artoirel. It’s true, and she won, but why were you absent?” he questioned.

“I was on the security force, making sure we didn’t have an incident. Considering last time, the Lord Commander insisted we bump up the number of patrols.” He stated.

“Son, help the man out and get the door.” He insisted.

Artoirel stepped ahead, holding the door open for him, dashing down the steps ahead of him to get the Innkeep to open up the room for them.

“Thank you.” He said distractedly.

“No need, assuming you’ll both attend the celebration, we’ll see each other again soon.” He told him, excusing himself.

Cullen set her on the bed, taking a seat next to her, waiting for the healer, though he was fairly sure she hadn’t been seriously injured and in fact probably only needed a nap to recover her energy.


	59. Decadence

Healed up and well rested, Yuuki got out of bed, busying herself with finding something suitable to wear to a formal celebration. Setting out her clothes, Cullen slid his arms around her waist, holding her loosely, resting his head on hers.

“What’s that for?” she asked curiously.

“I worried for you. Is that so bad?” he answered.

Letting go so she could get dressed, she bent lower, pushing her pants down, leaned against the cabinet for support. Grabbing the delicate white stockings, she rolled them up slowly. A black skirt followed next, hugging her hips perfectly, struggling with it, heaving a frustrated sigh before she got her tail through. Sliding the shoulderless formal top on, she buttoned it up quickly, fixing the rose hanging from the lapel. Setting the low black shoes down, she stepped into them, glancing into the mirror briefly. The tips of her hair had suffered some singeing, nothing Jandelaine couldn’t fix up. Classy white gloves polished off the look, her attention fixed on him.

“It’s not bad at all. I think I should be offended, but I’m not. I like that you were concerned.” She admitted quietly.

Waiting for his approval, he glanced away, not immediately saying anything.

“You look… lovely.” He said, struggling to find the words at first.

Drawing a hand to her hip, she tilted her head. Something was clearly on his mind, and she couldn’t quite identify what it was.

“What are you thinking about?” she asked, moving closer, reaching for him.

“Well, the first thing that comes to mind is how you should probably let me go if you plan on making this party.” He laughed. “You did some things in that fight, I couldn’t see what it was, but it has me curious.”

“The fire trick? It’s just a potion. I can adjust my body heat higher, and I used that to ignite it. I was born with an unusual amount of fire-aspected energy, it’s not surprising.” She told him, letting go at his request.

“That’s one thing, but why didn’t his blade cut through?” he pressed.

She held out her arm as she had done during the fight, but it didn’t immediately make sense. She nodded towards the arrangement of scales along her wrist and up her arm. He had touched them many times before, they had been softer than he imagined they would be. Yuuki could see he still didn’t understand. Directing his attention directly to the scales, he saw them move, pulling tighter, a slight shine to them, reflecting the light in the room.

“Touch it now, you’ll see.” She instructed.

At her insistence, he brushed his fingers against them. Rougher now, though he grew concerned when she presented an unprimed dagger to him. He knew what she intended for him to do, and he wasn’t quite sure he wanted to. Remembering an earlier conversation about how he could be a little rougher with her, he guessed this was part of what she meant. Concentrating, he brought it down hard, the blow deflected easily.

“So it’s like you always wear armor?” he questioned.

“In a sense. All of my scales are usually relaxed, which is why they’re softer. If I’m in danger, I can pull them tighter, and it’s… as you say, like armor.” She explained.

How it remained unproven that her people were related to dragons was a mystery. Armored scales, high body heat, breathing fire, the only thing that wasn’t like a dragon about her was that she couldn’t fly on her own. She walked across the room, staring at the bells by the door for a moment. Ringing one, he expected to see Ven, but instead it was a man bearing scissors and a comb.

“Mistress Homura, it’s been awhile since I saw you! How are y—Oh my. No, this won’t do at all. Sit, I’ll take care of this quickly.” He sighed, frowning.

In a flurry of blinding movements, too fast to identify what exactly was happening, he moved away. Her hair arranged in a long braid down to the middle of her back, two long curls extending down the front of her chest, solid black except for the hot pink accents streaking through. Reaching to his waist, he handed her a mirror, waiting for her reaction.

“Jandelaine, you truly are a master of your craft, give me a moment, I’ll get my coin purse.” She said, beaming proudly.

He put his hands on his hips, shaking his head. “Absolutely not, don’t you even think about it. Call it a gift, since it’s been so long since I’ve gotten to work on you.” He declined.

“Thank you, that’s very generous. If you’re sure about it…” she mumbled.

He hung his head and sighed. “Excuse me, mistress. I’m being summoned for my next appointment. Don’t wait so long to see me again, A hero deserves to look her best all the time!” he said, excusing himself quickly.

Cullen ran a hand through his hair, finding the whole exchange a little strange. “Jandelaine, huh?” he mused quietly.

“Yes, he’s the best aesthetician in all of Eorzea. If you’re concern is how I began with such short hair to this, he’s basically a hair mage. He can make it possible.” She laughed, amusing herself with her new curls.

 “Yes, but there must be a reason that he’s willing to do it for free, right?” he persisted.

“You really want to hear that story? I met him in Limsa Lominsa, I was on business. He lost his tools, so I went out and brought him new ones to cheer him up. Later I found out he is a member of House Dzemael, pretty important. I think his family wanted him to take over, but he wanted to make Eorzea beautiful. In a sense I just helped to make sure he could do that, instead of taking control of his House.” She explained.

She backtracked across the room, reaching for his hand. Leaning in, he kissed her gently, brushing a hand through her bangs slowly. There was a knock on the door, and he quickly let go, taking a step away from her. She knew the reason why, but it didn’t make it any less pleasant for her. The door opened, Artoirel standing there patiently, bowing when he saw her.

“My father asked that I personally escort you to the festivities.” He said, waving for them to follow.

Cullen followed behind her, and for the briefest of instances, she thought he was bothered by the situation. The look on his face said otherwise, struggling not to blush, turning her focus back to where she was walking. Tables were set up as far as she could see, just outside, the barmaids rushing around, making sure everyone was taken care of. Artoirel pulled out a chair for her by the Lord Commander, taking a seat across from her, next to his brother. She gestured for Cullen to take the empty seat next to her.

“Are you feeling better, Yuuki?” the Lord Commander asked, a hand placed reassuringly on her shoulder.

“Yes, I’m well. Thank you, Cullen told me you sent a healer.” She answered quietly.

These kind of events always made her nervous, especially here. The last few times she had been here were chaotic to say the very least. The Lord Commander stabbed in the streets, an arsonist, a murderous priest nearly killing a child, not to mention the crazed woman who had tampered with her drink. That they were outside made her feel all the more vulnerable, though with so many people she had come to trust around her, she had to believe that if someone tried anything that she would be safe.

“Do you dislike the location?” he questioned.

“It’s fine. I am perhaps a little paranoid, that’s all.” She mumbled.

He flagged one of the servers down, the woman setting a drink in front of her, going down the table. She eyed the flagon cautiously.

“I did mention taking you for drinks before, better late than never.” He said.

Emmanellain leaned forward, trying to signal to him, though it went unnoticed. “Did you not hear what happened last time? I’m certain this isn’t a good idea.” He sighed finally.

“Something happened last time?” Cullen asked, a hint of irritation in his tone.

She hadn’t bothered to tell him about it because it hadn’t seemed important, and it was clear that Aymeric didn’t know either. Trying to avoid a tense situation, she took a drink.

“Yes, some woman drugged her drink. Thancred found her passed out under the table.” The younger Fortemps stated.

“My idiot brother gave the order to shoot her. Isn’t that right? I simply love how you casually glossed over the part where you screwed up and made trouble for the Lord Commander.” Artoirel grunted.

Switching the subject, he turned towards her. “Why don’t you show us your fire trick, old girl.” He said.

Normally she would have happily redirected the focus back on him, the entire situation having made their friendship that much more tense. He had shown a seriously unreliable side to her, assaulting Thancred in the process, a lot of respect had been lost. In this one instance, she was content to take the distraction.

“Ahh, I’m sure it was boring enough the first time.” She mumbled, knowing that they would insist she repeat it. It was a far less conceited way to take the subject from what she didn’t mention to showing off.

“I wasn’t even there; I’d like to see it.” Artoirel stated.

“From my angle, I couldn’t see very well either.” Aymeric added.

She pushed her chair back, standing up slowly. Backing up a safe distance, she grabbed a flask, drinking it down, holding out her hand so they could see how it worked. Her hand turned bright red, snapping her fingers to spark the tiny flame, putting it in her mouth and pulling it back. Exhaling heavily, a burst of flames spraying out steadily, until the last of the concoction burned away. Waving her hand slightly, she took her seat once more, staring at the table.

“How on earth did you learn to do that, I’ve never heard any stories of you breathing fire before.” Artoirel said. “Believe me, Haurchefant regaled us with stories of many interesting things you could do. He would never have skipped over that.”

Tensing at the mention of his name, she felt a hand on her leg, glancing to Cullen for a second. He was doing his best to be supportive without drawing the wrong kind of attention, and it was appreciated.

“I trained under Severian in Ul’dah. He always encouraged me to work with what I know but also to never be afraid to experiment, all the best alchemists strayed from the lines, and such. I don’t usually come up with anything good, but that was one I could use.” She answered.

Silently begging for an excuse to bolt, a hand touched her shoulder, hearing a voice in her ear. “Excuse me, I have a message from the Elder Seedseer. She wants to meet with you privately, shall I show her to your room?” the woman asked.

Nodding once, she rose up again. “I’m so sorry, I have some important matters to attend to. This has been wonderful; I look forward to another chance to do this again.” She excused herself. Leaning close, she spoke quietly “If you’re enjoying yourself, feel free to stay. I need to go see Kan-E.” she said.

Aymeric stood up, a sign of respect here. “Shall I walk you to your room?” he inquired.

“No, thank you for the kind offer, but I can manage.” She said, walking away quickly.

Remembering that he had to give her the letter and the gift from the Count, he followed behind her after excusing himself.

“I think that went well.” Emmanellain sighed.

“I don’t think so. Poor thing is clearly nervous about something. Perhaps gatherings like this bother her after, oh, I don’t know. Experiencing the more hostile side of this city and cleaning up after you.” Artoirel said.

“Let’s not forget she’s had a long day. She’s done everything asked of her, I don’t blame her for wanting to get away.” Aymeric said.

Kan-E was waiting in the room, her staff leaned against the wall, smiling when she saw them. “Well met, you did a fine job at the Melee. It was very exciting.” She greeted.

“Thank you, I’m sorry I didn’t represent Gridania…” she answered guiltily.

“Don’t be, Ser Aymeric was amenable to the joined alliance, and it was made official while you slept. We couldn’t be more grateful to you. I suspect you’d rather hear what the Elementals had to say.” She said kindly.

“Yes, of course. Anything you could tell us is more than what we know now.” She replied.

Kan-E held her out carefully. Yuuki took her gently, relaxing a little. “Halone is not inside the child, not completely. She herself is still in you, however it appears that the overflow of energy did pass to her. A gift, I sensed it in you as well, and they have confirmed it, you still bear the majority of Her power. While not particularly high amounts of energy, it should also prove safe for the child.” She explained.

“That’s great, this means you’re both going to be fine, right?” he interjected.

She waved her closer, speaking privately with her briefly, before excusing herself to rejoin the celebration. The look on her face seemed mildly troubled, closing the door behind her.

“We’ll be alright.” She said, offering no insight as to what the woman had told her.

As late as it was, they seemed to have little choice but to go back to the house, the inn room not suitable for a child to stay in, whereas Cullen had busied himself with setting her bed up at her home. Leaving the small room, she reached for his hand, vanishing in a haze of crystalline sparkles, reappearing a few minutes later just outside the house.

“So… that’s teleporting. That’s different.” He mumbled.

“You get used to it eventually.” She laughed.


	60. Starting Fresh

Kicking back in a chair by the window, she quietly drank her tea. Morning was well under way but there was no immediate itinerary. No reports from Skyhold, no word from Cid, nothing. It hadn’t occurred to her that a lack of things to keep her busy would bother her so much.

“I’ve been thinking about it a little more. I suppose if you’re sure it would help, we… could go meet this mage friend of yours.” Cullen muttered quietly.

Glancing back, she smiled a little. Still stretched out in bed, face half buried in the pillow. He hadn’t seemed to want to get up, so she had taken the liberty of serving his breakfast in bed. Kimi was slowly working her way up to solid food, but wasn’t quite there yet. Finishing her drink, she set her cup off to the side.

“Are you saying you’re finally getting up, or was that more of a general statement?” she teased.

Either way was fine with her, if he felt the need to stay in bed all day, she could be content to busy herself around the house. There was always the hot tub on the lower floor, a bit of relaxation not too much to burden herself with.

“Whenever you wish to go, I’m ready.” He said, his voice muffled against the pillow.

At this, she rifled through her bag, pulling out her staff, her outfit changing in a flash. A perk of Eorzean technology that swapping weapons automatically reverted her clothes to those matching the job. Waiting in silence, Cullen rolled out of bed, eyeing the robes she had set out for him with hesitation. Pulling them on, he reached for his boots, crossing the room to her side, holding his arm out for her. She took it, allowing him to help her up. Glancing down to the smaller bed, she shook her head, resting her hand under her chin. An entirely new class meant getting experience and learning the finer points of combat as a mage. Not the best place for a small child to be wandering, even with supervision. She rung the bell by the wall, frowning a little as she waited. Again expecting Ven, he was once more surprised, an Auri girl showing up, white scaled, different from her, though from the stories she told him, he fully expected a scuffle to break out.

“Mistress Yuuki, it’s been so long. What can I do for you?” she asked cheerfully.

“There’s extra pay in it for you, I was hoping you might take care of Kimiko for a while.” She replied quietly.

The girl knelt down, picking her up carefully. “Of course, I’d be happy to. Is it fine to take her for a walk around the housing area?” she questioned.

“That sounds fine, Rin. As long as she’s safe, that’s all I care about.” She answered.

More and more she was beginning to sound like him, he realized. He had said that very same thing a number of times, though such a thing was his personal secret.

“You can trust me!” she said cheerfully.

As much as he worried for her safety, Yuuki had yet to do anything that resulted in a poor outcome, and he trusted her judgment, however hard it might be in this situation. The two spoke a little longer, before she led him towards the door.

“Are you concerned?” she asked him quietly.

“About her? A little, but if you’re comfortable with it, I’ll reserve my opinions for now.” He answered.

“I meant about the idea of using magic.” She said.

“Of course I’m concerned. I may not be worried about yours, but that doesn’t mean I like it for myself. If it’s necessary, I’m willing to try for your sake. I’d do anything to keep you safe. Even this.” He sighed, looking away, his free hand brushing against the back of his neck nervously.

“I’ll be with you the whole way. I know the best places for these things, so it won’t take nearly as long as you think before you don’t have to worry about it.” She assured him, gently squeezing his arm.

Truthfully, the only reason he had given in was because he worried about her so much, and for all the skill she had, the girl was accident prone, and the ability to help her was what ultimately made him reconsider. Another thing he wasn’t prepared to tell her, especially since she didn’t like admitting she needed help. She led him to the pier, something that seemed to confuse him after going out of the way so he could attune to the aetheryte in Gridania.

“What’s with the boat? Would it not be faster to teleport?” he asked.

“True, it would be faster, but that takes you to New Gridania. The Conjurer’s guild is in Old Gridania. Ultimately, this will be just a little faster, and this way, you can get a few of the other aetheryte locations within the city.” She answered.

Pulling up her robes, she stepped in carefully, taking a seat. He took a seat across from her, letting her decide the path. She was far more familiar with this place than he was, and it was better this way.

* * *

 

Walking in to the quiet guild, she gestured to the counter. Speaking with the guild receptionist for a moment, she turned to face Cullen, bowing kindly.

“I’m given to understand you wish to register?” she asked pleasantly.

He hesitated, but nodded. “That’s correct.” He answered.

She pushed a registry towards him. “All are welcome here. Please sign your name here.” She requested.

Cullen reached for the quill, signing his name on the page. The woman took the book back, pointing to the back.

“I’ll take him to meet the Brother. Thank you for your help, Madelle.” She said, offering a slight nod.

She waved them off. Stopping in front of him, Cullen looked at her for a moment, unsure what to make of the short boy in front of him. It couldn’t be possible that he was the master of this guild, he looked far too young, to say nothing of the horns on his head. No tail in sight, he knew he wasn’t Auri, a demon, perhaps? He took notice of her, his voice quiet, far calmer than he expected.

“I had not thought to see you again; it is nice to see you. What can I do for you, Yuuki?” he asked.

Pointing towards Cullen, he turned towards him, a small smile on his face. “I see. You wish to learn the way of the Conjurer? I can present you with your first cane and assign you some small tasks, though I daresay Yuuki herself knows the path you must take well enough to help you. I will of course wish to see you from time to time to gauge your progress, however.” He stated.

A man reached for something, handing it off to him. Turning back again, the guild master handed it over. It was a rather beaten looking thing, but that was hardly an issue.

“Sister, will you lead him out into the Shroud and help him find these creatures?” he asked.

Yuuki examined the list he handed her. Nodding once, she once more reached for his arm. “Of course, I’ll do my best.” She said.

“Take care, Nophica guide you.” He said, turning back to the group spread around him.

When they were far enough away from the guild, he spoke up finally. “Be honest with me, is he a demon?” he questioned.

Laughing quietly, she shook her head. “Brother E-Sumi Yan is a Padjal. They don’t age, but otherwise are just like any human. They are the only ones capable of hearing the Elementals and communicating their will.” She explained. “Kan-E and her siblings are also Padjal. I’ve mentioned it before, but here, the demons we have are far different from those in Thedas. If the Fade exists here, I have yet to see it.”

That was strangely comforting. He imagined that meant the risk of possession was minimal, at least. As if reading his thoughts, her hand slid lower, holding his hand.

“I’ve only seen one person truly possessed here. Thancred, and you know that story. He ran himself ragged and was possessed by an Ascian. At least here, this close to the auracite, they wouldn’t dare.” She assured him.

Leaving through the gate, she nodded towards the least threatening creatures he had ever seen. It had been a long time since she had used basic conjury skills, it might be a challenge to explain how it worked to him.

“What exactly am I supposed to do?” he pressed, eyeing the cane suspiciously.

Mages weren’t supposed to need weapons to fight, and he was relatively certain she didn’t need hers, and yet she still carried it.

“You should only have access to one spell at present. Stone, I think. Picture the earth itself rising to your defense, that works for me, it might work for you. Watch carefully, I’m going to try not to interfere too much, but for now, I’ll demonstrate.” She told him.

Reaching to her back for her staff, she held it up. As if on command, rocks came flying out of nowhere, colliding with a fairly unthreatening ladybug, though larger than he was used to seeing. It fell over instantly, vanishing after a few moments.

“These creatures are too low for my skill level, but they’re perfect for beginner mages. Give it a try.” She said encouragingly, taking a step back.

He was fairly certain that without being born a mage that this wasn’t going to work anyway, but for her sake, he decided to give it his best effort. Mimicking her movements, though it felt awkward, he tried to picture what she had done, surprising himself when he pulled it off. Unable to celebrate just yet, the angry bug scurried towards him, forced to keep pelting it with the stones to take it down. When it finally collapsed and vanished, he looked at her, his expression quite pleased with himself.

“I actually did it!” he said proudly.

Stifling a giggle, she pushed herself onto her toes, hugging him gently. “I’m proud of you. You’ll get there in no time.” She praised happily.

That he would be so happy over casting a spell of any kind had taken her by surprise. Perhaps he could get used to it better than even he imagined. It was unexpectedly endearing to see this kind of happiness on his face. Before she could do anything else, he dashed off to find more of the large bugs to fight. Replacing her staff, she lifted her robes enough to be able to chase after him. As fluent in battle as he was, he was still a beginner in magic, and even the simplest creatures could cause problems for him if he wasn’t careful.

“Cullen, wait for me, don’t run off on your own, it’s dangerous…” she called out to him.


	61. The Secret of the Woods

Two check-ins down, one more to go before Cullen could get to the part he was more accustomed to. He was proving to be fairly decent at this. A shame he probably wasn’t open to trying other types of magic, certainly he would have had such promise. She watched him from the comfort of a nearby tree, close enough to help if he needed it. For the most part, she had done her best to explain to him the function of every new spell, and how best to utilize them, and yet the one she wasn’t quite sure what to do with was Raise. Just thinking about it had put her stomach in knots, the reminder that sometimes there were still wounds that could never heal. How many times had she successfully brought back the dead, and for all the good that did, when she wanted to make it count, she had failed. That was the kind of burden she hated carrying and something she didn’t want for him.

Cullen glanced up towards her, trying to get her attention, though she took little note at first.

“I get it, you’re comfortable up there, but something is definitely not right.” He told her, a hint of urgency in his words.

Hooking her legs on the branch she was resting in, she fell backwards, dismounting with a quick flip. Brushing herself off, she lazily moved to stand by him. The problem was immediately evident, still fairly early in the day, the sun should have been shining brightly still, and yet there was nothing but an eerie twilight gloom. Shaking her head, she reached for his hand, pulling him away quickly.

“We need to get away, far away. I have a call to make, and this is not a safe place to do it.” She whispered quickly.

Several minutes later, they had taken refuge in a hollowed out tree, no chance to ask about what was happening, a hand raised to prevent any words just yet. A voice finally coming through over the channel.

“Yuuki, so nice to hear from y—.” a woman’s voice.

“Mother, I’m so sorry but this is an emergency. I need you to get a message to everyone, God’s Quiver, Wood Wailers, and Twin Adders, as quickly as possible.” She warned.

She reached for his hand, gripping it tightly. Whatever was going on, it was enough to make even her nervous. That she was asking for so much aid when he had seen nothing but unusual weather was a matter of concern.

“What should I tell them?” she asked, her voice filled with more concern this time.

“Tell them it’s him. Odin is in the shroud, no visual on his position, but tell them to hurry before this becomes a matter of safety.” She instructed urgently.

The line went silent for a time, longer than she imagined it should have taken to inform the three factions.

Cullen pulled her towards him, fingers tracing small circles between her shoulders. Losing focus was how problems came about, and the desire to keep her calm was taking priority for him.

“I’ve let them know, they’re on the way as we speak. Be safe, you hear me?” she ordered, the line falling silent again.

“Just my luck, he shows up right here…” she mumbled to herself.

“I didn’t see anything, what are you so worried about?” he asked.

Hesitantly poking her head out, she looked around, making out his shape in the fog. She motioned for him to look as well. Pointing in his direction, Cullen noticed the large, ominous figure, mounted on an armor-clad horse with piercing eyes. The shape of a large sword barely visible, she quickly pulled him back to the safety of the temporary shelter.

“Odin…” she said quietly.

“What is he?” he questioned.

“An Elder Primal, around so long that no one actually remembers how or why he was first summoned.” The girl explained, quietly and quickly.

“Are you actually frightened by him?” he pressed.

“Terrified.” She admitted.

The first time she ever encountered him, she was still inexperienced, a desire to help fight had led her to make the most painful decision of her own personal memory. The sense of dread that she felt, knowing he would be curious about what had her so frightened only made it worse.

“Really? I can’t imagine you being actually afraid of anything. What happened?” he asked, pulling her back again, holding her loosely.

“He killed me, Cullen.” She answered plainly, all she wanted to say on the matter.

“You’re not dead, is it possible you imagined it?” wondering briefly if the fog had somehow made her dizzy.

“Death isn’t quite as permanent here. The dead can be brought back, I’ve done it hundreds of times, pulled people back from the other side. Obviously there are exceptions, but that’s not the point.” She mumbled. “Bringing someone back is as simple as imagining breathing the life back into them.”

“That’s no answer.” He pushed, digging for more to go on.

Climbing in his lap, she laid her head on his shoulder, and for a moment, he could feel her shaking. She really was afraid, a fact that almost excited him in a sense. This was a chance to do something for her, to be there for her in a way that he so rarely was able to.

“Fine. I happened to notice they had gathered, fighting. I thought ‘hey, I’ll help them out, I know my way around a fight, I’ll protect my home.’ I rushed in like a fool and the last thing I remembered was the way that blade felt as it ran me through, and the sudden warmth of my own blood. Everything went black after that, and the next thing I recall was the face of the Elder Seedseer over mine. She brought me back, when I was still a nobody.” She said, squeezing him tightly.

The rushing sound of footsteps meant that they had arrived, the moment passing by slowly, about to move away from him, but he held her, refusing to let go just yet.

“You’re not the same girl anymore. You know as well as I do that you’re stronger now. Why not go out there and help them?” he asked gently.

Glancing down at her robes, she shook her head. “I’ve told you before, this kind of magic isn’t meant for combat. Sure, I have some offensive spells, but they won’t do much good here.” She denied.

He pressed a finger to her brow, a slightly stern expression on his face. “The girl who can’t resist a fight can’t bring herself to change into something useful, would rather sit back and cower like this?” he sighed, shaking his head.

It was a harsh tactic, one he wasn’t proud of using with her, but he felt like this was something she needed, to prove to herself that she could do this one thing. Pulling herself away forcibly then, she frowned, and he could tell she was upset, what he didn’t expect was the weapon she went for. The one thing he wanted her to never again use was the very one she chose. The greatsword scratching into the ground at her side, a large eye in the sword flitting around, a sense of hunger emanating from it. In a flash, the unassuming robes became her familiar black armor, though her expression was still her own.

“Fine. Just don’t blame me for the outcome…” she mumbled, ducking low to leave the shelter. “Stay put, you’ll get hurt if you come out here. I’m not going to lose you.”

“Glad to see you at our side, Yuuki.” A man greeted her as she approached.

“Bowlord Lewin.” She answered with a nod.

Hefting the sword onto her shoulder, she stared at the figure as it charged out of the mist, a flurry of arrows and striking lances aimed directly at the elder creature. Pulling her helmet down over her face, that voice he had so disliked emerging once more.

**_“So lovely to see you again. I’m here for your head…” she laughed._ **

Surprising that such a sight didn’t even give them any pause, as if they were scarcely concerned with her presence at all. A dark aura surrounded her for a moment, followed by a black circle of energy around her. With yet another gesture, the eye opened wider, glowing angrily. The heavy downward swing had missed, the ground between her and Odin cleaved deeply, swinging back up to ready herself again, her next strike connecting hard with his armor, unable to cut through. Wondering briefly if sending her into this was a bad idea after all, the others had no trouble hitting him, despite how little each individual attack seemed to do, it was only her struggling. Snorting with frustration, she backed away a short distance, kneeling down, her hand waving over the ground, though what happened, if anything was a mystery. Rising once more, she brought it back, hurling a ball of energy at him, his attention directed to her, pushing through in her direction. Holding the heavy weapon at her side, the energy around her seemed to pulse an explode, washing over him.

“We’ll draw his attention back towards us, try to hold still for a moment, Yuuki.” A voice called to her.

His horse stumbled clumsily on the approach, something about her aura drawing away his energy. Cullen drew his eyes to the ground she had touched, still no visible change, but he suspected something about it was causing such a reaction. Odin raised his sword, standing still, everyone backing away nervously.

“We need to hurry, if he isn’t brought low soon…” Lewin stated, drawing his bow once more.

Sparing him a glance, she lifted her helmet, her eyes bearing the same kind and gentle look she reserved just for him.

“Run, get as far away as you can…” she said, her voice largely lost in the chaos.

Clearly they were preparing for something they knew they wouldn’t be able to handle, and yet her concern was with him. No, running away wasn’t in his plans, abandoning her was the last thing he would ever do.

Turning back, she seemed to be looking for someone specific.

**_“You there, I have an idea, but if you’re not up to par, I’m blaming you.” She growled._ **

“Name it, I’m ready for anything!” the woman answered willfully.

**_I can throw on Living Dead. Back far away if it looks like he’ll use that, and don’t forget me. Nophica save you if you don’t heal me.” She barked out._ **

“Yes, Mistress. I’m ready.” She answered.

They retreated a fair distance away, the archers still attacking from this range. With a simple gesture, what little of her skin was visible began to turn a pallid white, all color leaving her. A truly sad image, and yet she was determined, that much obvious. Odin still did nothing, energy swirling around his blade, his horse lashing out against her, though it didn’t faze her in the least. After this was said and done, he certainly had some questions for her, that much was certain.

Gathering her strength, she rammed her blade against his side, cracking his armor along the edges, barely pressing through. In the moment, his focus shifted to her, baring the blade down finally, a rush of energy blowing through, with her being the only on in range of it at her own insistence. Bracing for her downfall, they watched, the girl still standing, the blade tearing through him, enough to make him turn and leave.

“Seven hells, at least we won’t see him for a time, that’s a small blessing.” The healer mumbled, too shaken to move.

“Get over yourself and move, she can’t hold it for long, you know!” Lewin barked.

The healer rushed over, a pulse of healing energy concentrated on her. Despite this, after a few moments passed, she dropped. Unmoving, completely still.

Lewin pressed a hand to his brow, waving them closer. “We need to get her to the Seedseer, she can fix this. You, you get the pleasure of telling your master you’ve killed the Warrior of Light. Get going!” he snapped.

Hearing this, he came out, pushing them out of the way. He had no idea if he could even pull it off, the idea that he could lose her too hard to deal with. Granted the Seedseer was more than capable, but not knowing how things like this worked, he was unfamiliar with injury types.

‘Breathing life back into someone…’ he thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grants the effect of Living Dead. When HP is reduced to 0 while under the effect of Living Dead, instead of dying, your status will change to Walking Dead.   
> Living Dead Duration: 10s   
> While under the effect of Walking Dead, most attacks will not lower your HP below 1. If, before the Walking Dead timer runs out, HP is 100% restored, the effect will fade. If 100% is not restored, you will die.


	62. Instinct

“You again. Didn’t I tell you last time you’re not welcome here?” a voice laughed.

Opening her eyes, she frowned. “Am I actually dead, or is this another of those weird dreams?” she sighed.

“No, you’re dead. I’m trying to tell you to knock it off, knucklehead.” He chided.

A quiet giggle slipped, finding his attitude humorous. “How come every time I see you, you’re not happy to see me?”

“I am. I’ll be happier when it’s actually your time to be here. Now go, you’re being called, shoo.” He waved her away.

“Haurchefant, shouldn’t it be my choice whether I stay or go?” she asked, the question more figurative than anything.

“It should, but people need you, and you need them. Now hurry up!” he told her.

“If you insist, but I’m not happy to see you either!” she hissed.

“That’s not true, I can tell.” He called out to her as she ran off.

* * *

 

Her face felt warm, the sudden feeling of rough skin sliding against her cheek, an almost begging voice barely registering.

“Come back to me, open your eyes…” she heard, the sound faint and the direction sounding like it was all around.

She sought out the source of the warmth, pressing against his hand, taking a sudden sharp breath, a feeling like the first breath after almost drowning. Her eyelids felt far too heavy, but the voice grew louder, almost sadder, a heavy weight on her chest.

“Cullen, you’re heavy…” she mumbled quietly.

Her eyes opened slowly, trying to sit up, though her body still felt far too solid to move. He pulled her up slowly, his hands holding hers now, looking at him, his eyes were red, and though there was none present, she could tell he had actually been crying. He cried for her, deliberately disobeyed her order and stayed behind. Torn somewhere between gratitude and frustration.

“I thought… I suppose it doesn’t matter now. You have to stop scaring me like this…” he scolded her.

“I told you this would happen. Though I can’t seem to remember what happened very well.” She admitted, shifting slightly, moving to rest her head on his lap.

“You won, he retreated. You’re alive, that’s all that matters to me…” he whispered to her, his fingers twisting in her hair. “You’ve been out for a while though, I thought it didn’t work….”

“Wait… it was you?” she asked, mild disbelief in her words, but pride was buried somewhere.

“I think so, something happened anyway.” He said with a slight shrug.

“Glad to see you’re up, Lewin said your friend here saved your life.” A woman’s voice said.

She turned her head slightly, no energy to do more than wave. “Luciane, wonderful to see you again. Wish it were under better circumstances.”

“He seemed determined to fix you, so they let him try here, and look, no need to involve the Seedseer. I hear E-Sumi Yan is over the moons about him too.” She said.

“I must repeat my objection to using that. You always seem to get in trouble when you use it.” He insisted.

A sound called her attention the doorway, frowning slightly. Miounne and Solas stood there, and for a moment, she felt her stomach drop.

“You know, there are easier ways to take a break without being so dramatic.” Solas said, an attempt at a joke.

“I’ll keep that in mind…” she mumbled quietly. “What happened to the healer?”

“She was sent back to start her training from the beginning. A generous punishment, most pressed for her dismissal.” Miounne answered “Why not go home, Mother will send a moogle with some supplies for you.”

Readying her denial, Cullen interjected before she could. “I’ll get her home safely.”

“What about your training, you’re almost there, we can’t stop now.” She protested quietly.

He put a finger to her lips, shaking his head. “I won’t hear it. We can pick up as soon as you’ve recovered.”

Perhaps it was for the best, all things considered, she felt like she had been drug kicking and screaming through the seventh hell, a day to rest up would serve her well. “Fine, I yield, but only one day, I refuse to stay in bed a moment longer than I need to.”

* * *

 

Back at the house, he helped her up the steps, easing her gently to the bed. Following her instructions, he found her coin pouch, paying the retainer. Sitting down in a chair by the bed, he reached for the hand she held out, his thumb brushing slowly over her fingers. “No getting up, understand?” he reasserted.

“Aren’t you at least going to join me?’ she asked.

“Not right now. I know better than to do that. The minute I let my guard down, you’ll sneak away. The whole point is to make sure you’re alright.” He said, shooting her down instantly.

He was absolutely right, the idea of doing nothing tempting her too readily to action. As if sensing her need to stay busy, he reached for something nearby, handing it to her. “Edmond asked me to give these to you. If you need something to do, why not look at those.”

She stared at the envelope for a moment, pushing it under the pillow, out of her sight and out of her mind. The package seemed to hold more interest for her, curiosity getting the better of her. Pulling at the strings, she carefully unfolded the paper. Inside was a silver pin, a unicorn. She laughed quietly, examining it closely for a moment, before replacing it, twisting slightly to set it on a nearby stand.

“The crest of House Fortemps is a unicorn. It was a strange conversation.” She said, noticing the look of interest on his face.

“Tell me, I’ll always listen.” The familiar warmth of his hand on her cheek comforting.

She spoke not nearly as often of him, and he had to wonder if it was still painful. “We were out late. I decided to help with a patrol, I was waiting on some information, and I thought he’d find the company welcome. He told me he found it funny that the first time we met, I had ridden in on a unicorn. When I asked why that was funny, he explained that it was the symbol of his House. I assumed he was just making conversation, but it seemed he paid attention after all…” she said, sighing a bit.

“Not interested in the letter?” he said, shifting the topic since it seemed to trouble her.

“I don’t need to know what it says. He’s in no hurry to see me, and I’m doing my best to let him go.” She answered, turning her gaze to her hands for a moment.

“What do you mean?” he persisted, turning in his seat to face her.

“I saw him. He told me to shoo. Can you believe that?” her voice slightly irritated by the mere concept of someone telling her such a thing. “Said I wasn’t welcome there. Me, of all people.”

“Well, I won’t say I’m not happy to hear that. If you hadn’t… I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He admitted guiltily.

How he went from being content with his solitude to this, he had no idea. At times it bothered him, but picturing himself without her at his side was too strange, wrong. Like he wasn’t complete without her, a prospect he still found intimidating.

“I’ll do better. I never want you to have to find out.” She swore, grabbing his hand, kissing his palm gently.

Suddenly almost nervous, she let go, directing her focus to the wall. Lying back, she gave him no chance to wonder what was on her mind.

“I love you.” She murmured, thinking her words out carefully. “You… make me feel something I can’t quite explain.”

“I love you too.” He said. “Will you try for me?”

“Kind of… sick? That sounds bad, I think. Foolish? That’s not right either. Like I forget how I’m supposed to act around people, it just goes away when I’m with you.” She struggled, concerned it would be taken the wrong way.

“As though the only thing that makes sense is you.” He finished, smiling slightly. Seeing the look on her face, he clarified. “I didn’t read your mind. It’s the same way I feel.”

Exhaling slowly, she reached out to him once more, tugging on his sleeve gently. She moved over, nodding to the empty spot. “I swear I’ll stay put, and this time I won’t bite.”

Cullen hesitated, getting up. Kicking off his boots, he crawled in beside her. Yuuki laid her head on his chest, reaching to hold him in a way that suggested she was worried he’d disappear if she didn’t. His hand slid around her waist, pulling her closer, closing his eyes. The feeling of her lips pressed against his catching him off guard, not that he particularly minded. Some time passed before she pulled away, content to be next to him.

“I never thanked you…” she mumbled.

“I didn’t do it so you would thank me. I did it so I wouldn’t lose you.” He said, a hint of guilt in his words.

“A fine reason, if I do say so myself.” She said, muffling a yawn.


	63. The Jewel of the Desert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen is ready to head to Ul'dah for the next stage of his training.

Cullen had insisted he could manage the last check in by himself, content to let her get things ready to take off for Ul’dah, an excuse he made so she wouldn’t push herself too much just yet. She wouldn’t worry too much about him getting lost, both places a short trip via aetheryte. He hadn’t said anything, but the last scare had left him more than a little concerned about her health and safety. Yuuki had mentioned time and again that death was far from permanent here, and she seemed just fine, but who could say what effects she might have suffered as a result? Too much time to think had caused him to realize how scared he had been, how badly it hurt. That was the kind of pain she had been living with this whole time, only in her case, she had failed, it was no wonder she felt so guilty.

* * *

 

Yuuki sighed to herself, cleaning up the room and packing up what they would need. He could return at any moment, and she wasn’t completely ready, and Kimi was still resting, something she didn’t want to interrupt. Taking a seat, she set her bag on her lap, reaching in, fingertips brushing against the edge of the Auracite. At least for the time being, they were safe enough from one threat, a minor miracle. The door opened slowly, Cullen looking rather pleased with himself.

“Did everything go alright?” she asked him curiously.

“Of course. Saw Miounne on the way out.” He said, handing her a small decorated package. “Said to make sure you get this before we set off.”

She didn’t need to ask what it was, the smell that permeated the thin wrapping told her enough. She worried far more than she needed to, though in this one instance, she wasn’t prepared to complain. Mother made the best food, and it had been far too long since she last had the chance to have anything she made. Cullen knelt down, scooping her bag up for her, shifting it to his back, carefully picking up the child. She stirred, an irritated whine starting until he kissed her brow.

“Shh, it’s alright princess, just going for a little trip.” He murmured.

Quieting some, she settled back down as if nothing had happened. Yuuki sighed again, reaching to get the door for him. Cid should be waiting to pick them up once they left the housing area, Cullen having called him while she was resting, he said. As much as she wanted to be there at every step to help him figure things out, this area, at least, was becoming familiar for him, and he didn’t seem to need her as much. That made her a little sad to think about, but proud at the same time, the thought that someday, if they did decide to settle here, he would be alright without her having to accompany him everywhere out of misplaced concern for his safety.

“Hopefully, things won’t take too long when we get there. I don’t anticipate many hold ups; I don’t think I’ve upset anyone there.” She laughed nervously.

“I don’t mind. To be honest, it’s a relief not being stuck behind a desk or having to deal with other matters, though I also won’t say I don’t miss the work at all.” He told her.

They stopped just outside, the airship landing nearby. Stepping in, she stopped for a moment to hug him in greeting.

“You’re looking better. Heard what happened, glad you’re alright.” He said.

Glancing to Cullen, she smiled a little. “I’m just lucky he was there.”

Cid looked back before setting off. “I really hate to ask, but I’m guessing you’ll be out in the desert soon enough. Don’t suppose I could bother you to gather a few things for me?”

Yuuki nodded, holding the railing as the ship took off, surprisingly smooth, even running quieter than normal. “It’s no trouble. Just tell me what you need, and you’ll have it, on a different note, did you do something to the Enterprise?”

“You noticed! I made a few adjustments while I was away, she’s running a lot more efficiently now. As far as what I need, I thought to make a list but thought better of it, for your sake.” He paused, taking a second to look at her once more. “Silex, bomb ash, mythril ore. Can you remember that?”

She frowned, her eyes falling to the small mark on his forehead, concerned he might decide to elaborate on his reasoning, nervously checking to see if Cullen had been looking at her. Too busy watching the passing scenery, thankfully.

“I can remember that. I’ll hold on to what I find for you. Though I’d like to point out, if you’re looking for crystal glass, I already have that, quite a bit, as a matter of fact.” She mumbled.

“I shouldn’t be surprised that you figured out that was what I needed it for. About twenty decent pieces should do.” He answered, bringing the ship down slowly.

“There’s more than enough in my supplies. I’ll worry about the bomb ash and ore then.” She assured him.

* * *

 

Cullen immediately regretted his choice of attire. It was hot here, far hotter than he anticipated, though he realized he should have expected as much from a place she had told him was ‘the jewel of the desert’. Thankfully, Yuuki had decided to stop and set up the room for later, the opportunity presenting itself to change into something more forgiving. They hadn’t stopped long before she led him away once more, the thought that he might want to get right into his training, or perhaps she was still concerned about what was happening in the other world and simply wanted to hurry so they could return.

The meeting hadn’t taken long at all, and after a short assessment of his ability, he had been presented with a soul stone, though it was stressed that he would have the day to prepare while he came up with a suitable challenge for his skill level. Parting ways after a time, he glanced to Yuuki, shrugging slightly as if wondering what to do with the rest of the day.

“Any suggestions?” he questioned.

“I thought we might go to the market, try and find some other clothes for you and Kimiko…I’m certain she can handle the heat just fine, but I’d rather not chance it, and I know you can handle a little heat.” She grinned teasingly, pleased at the faint blush rising to his cheeks. “But this isn’t just a little, and you won’t be able to concentrate fully on your training if you’re paying too much attention to how hot it is.”

“You make a fine point. I won’t argue against something more pleasant than leather, metal and fur.” He sighed. “I wouldn’t mind a cold shower either…”

She giggled, unable to hold it back, and he knew right away what she was thinking, frowning at the implication.

“Maker’s breath, I didn’t mean it like _that._ ” He insisted nervously.

Falling quiet after a few moments, she poked her tongue out teasingly, lightly nudging his side. “No? That’s too bad. I would have been happy to join you.”


	64. Effortless

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW art at the end

 His training somehow felt more intense here, though whether it was because of the heat or because he hadn’t used a sword and shield in some time, he wasn’t quite sure. At least he fully understood the reasoning she wore so little. Armor seemed too hot here, opting instead for the outfit she had bought him the first time he had come to this world.

“So let me get this straight, you’re not planning to help at all?” he asked.

She pushed herself onto her elbows, looking at him. Quickly looking away, the sight of him like this almost too much to deal with. Muscles tensing and flexing, the thin sheen of sweat rolling down. Rolling onto her stomach, she stretched out once more.

“I was told not to. I follow orders very well, Commander.” She joked.

Taking a short rest, he frowned. Easy for her to say, the Coeurl skin bikini should have been his first clue that she wasn’t here to help. Moving to sit next to her, he lightly prodded her side. If not for the work, it could easily have passed as a vacation, but there was so much to do.

“You know that’s not true. I seem to recall you ignoring things before.” He answered.

Shifting once more, a small smile pulling at the corners of her lips. “Do you want to take a break?” she questioned.

“Probably not the best idea. If I stop now, I might not get back to it.” His hand swiping through his hair.

Reaching up, her hands grasping his sides, she brought him down to her. Staring down at her, those eyes distracting in the way they fixed on his. Cursing himself silently, he bent to meet her lips, fingertips grazing her shoulders, warmer than usual. Tracing the lines of thick muscle along his back, a quiet sigh swallowed away. Prying her mouth open, his tongue swiping along hers slowly. He broke the kiss, sitting up after a moment. Normally, he would have been all too happy to spend the day like this with her.

“I should go before I can’t.” he said, more to himself than to her.

“That’s your choice.” She purred out.

Shaking his head, sighing to himself over his lack of restraint around her. Cullen laid next to her, a hand slipping just under the band at her chest. Ultimately, the sound of her voice had gotten to him, usually he could claim it was her eyes, or her lips, or any number of things. The way she smelled, a look given in passing, anything. This time, that sound she made was what had knocked away his ability to focus. At least he could say it was only like this with her, anyone else and distracting him at all was the challenge.

“Would you consider it safe here?” he questioned.

“Safe enough. This is one spot that isn’t crawling with Amal’jaa and undead.” She answered.

Burying his mouth over the side of her neck, slowly brushing along her shoulder. Pressing his hand further under, his finger lightly twisting her nipple.

“Here is fine.” He growled.

As if to reinforce her point, her eyes closing, her words lazily drawn out. “I’m out here for you… whatever you want, you’ll have.”

Gripping the knot fixed at her back, he worked quickly to undo it, feeling it slip lower. It usually seemed to work that way, and yet to hear her say it, there was something exciting about it. Whatever he wanted? The list of things he wanted seemed to revolve around her. His hands came back around, crawling down her body, her hips lifting at his touch, curling his fingers at the edges of the garment, tugging them off. Her hands reached to cover herself. Testing her limits, he didn’t move to pull them away.

“Relax, I’ve seen it all before, you have nothing to hide.” He told her gently.

His thumbs stroking the ridges of her hips, waiting to see if she would listen. Yuuki hesitated, her hands retreating to her sides. Bending low, he kissed his way down, stopping at her thighs. Cullen fully expected her to do something to stop him, and yet she didn’t. Lower still, he gently pushed her legs apart, looking up at her. She gasped, the feeling of his teeth scraping against her, biting firmly, red marks forming across her thighs. His stubble tickling a path between her legs, his eyes closing. Slipping a finger in, intentionally slow, his tongue barely touching her, struggling to stay still. Delicate fingers scraping through his hair, tugging slightly. Groaning quietly, vibrating over her skin, her hips jolting in response. Adding a second finger, drawing circles over her. The pressure building was becoming unbearable, and he wanted her, desire becoming a need. He didn’t stop, his hand moving faster, feeling the tension drawing her muscles tighter. The second time she had allowed him this, no way to get used to the way it felt, her release far quicker than he anticipated. Moving away from her his teeth once more followed her thighs, a sharp moan echoing.

Taking his time with his clothes, amber eyes wandering over her eagerly. The pile of clothes at his feet, he knelt down, lazily stretching out over her. A soft hand ran down over his stomach, sweeping his thigh, his hand moved to cover hers, guiding her to touch him. An aching reminder of how urgently he desired her, keeping his hand tightly over hers, pressing into her with her help, letting go. Her knees resting on his sides, reaching for her hands, pinning them over her head. His tongue slid along her shoulder, pausing at a spot that seemed sufficiently thick. She writhed under him, eyes squeezed shut. Her insistence that she could handle more had brought him to this, biting down hard, the sound she made unlike anything he had heard from her before. Less a pained cry but not quite pleasure, lost somewhere between.

Lifting against him, grinding into her harder, faster. Trying to free her hands, he tightened his grip, his chest heaving, warm breath gliding over the imprint his teeth had left on her skin. This long, and he still couldn’t find the words to describe what it felt like, a tangle of limbs, buried in her, warm and wet. Struggling harder, he grinned, panting heavily between words.

“I could be nice and let you go, but I don’t want to…” he gasped, nipping at the side of her neck.

Her legs moved, fastening around his waist, pulling him in deeper. Whimpering softly in his ear. Swaying steadily underneath him, struggling to lift against him, her voice cut between shaky breaths, not immediately registering the request. Not usually given to say those kinds of things, a shiver cut through him.

“Harder…” she mumbled nervously.

The first time he could remember her actually asking something like that, usually quiet except the sounds she made for him. Swallowing hard, he sought her neck once more, slamming into her, feeling her body quiver and tense, fast approaching her limit again, her tongue darting out to moisten her lips, arching up into him tighter. Whining softly, he felt the warmth pooling between them. Straining against her, too close to think of anything else. His fingers slid between hers, loosening his grip in favor of holding her hands now. Pressed deeply inside her, moaning along her neck, shaking when his body relaxed, spilling deeply into her, the last spasms cutting through. Heaving a sigh, he took a bit to lay like this with her, kissing her cheek softly. Freeing himself with a twist of his hips, he moved to her side, drawing her closer.

The one time they had done anything like this, there had at least been a cave, not quite so out in the open. It occurred to him that they could be seen, hastily handing her clothes to her, working to get dressed. Yuuki stretched out lazily, glancing back at him.

“This is a low traffic area, don’t worry so much.” She mumbled, her face buried in her arms.

Even though she said that, he knew she was blushing, the idea had clearly crossed her mind too. He said nothing, preferring to let her think whatever made her feel more comfortable. Lying next to her a little longer, an arm draped over her waist.

“I know, I know. I’ll get back to it in a bit.” He assured her.

“Do you want some help?” she asked.

“It turns out this is better, you’re too good at distracting me.” He told her.

 


	65. A Day Off

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki insisted on taking a day off to relax, whether it goes as planned remains to be seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is smut, skip if you want.

Yuuki locked the door, drawing the metal chain across. He would have questioned it if he wasn’t already completely aware of the reasoning. Taking the day off, just the two of them, no interruptions, no work, just relaxing. Even as simplistic as the room was, he had to admit it was still more luxurious than he was used to. The moment he stepped through the door, it had caught him off guard, rose petals scattered over red silk sheets, a large window with velvet curtains, a direct view of the sky, unobscured, a warm water pool built into the floor, and this, she assured him, was completely normal, that her rooms were all like this. It made some strange sense, fixing the world’s problems should have some benefits, and this had the feeling of gratitude to him. The sound of light splashing called him away from the window, the source not hard to find. She wasted no time getting into the pool, though she had occupied her focus with a few bottles, red labeled, some kind of commemorative thing.

“I thought it was a fine time to open the Red.” She said.

She set the cork aside, gasping in surprise as it spilled over. Debating something with herself, she reached for a second bottle, freeing the old cork so she could pry open the new bottle, setting it off to the side. Cullen thought it over, noting the rising steam, wondering if it was perhaps her doing or if it had been hot enough already. His shoulders hurt the most, and the idea was slowly becoming more appealing. Groaning to himself, he leaned against the wall, pulling his clothes off, each movement reminding him just how sore he was. Crossing the room, he carefully lowered himself in, bringing his arms around her waist for a moment, head resting on her chest. A feeling she knew well, she set the bottle down, kneading his shoulders firmly, his breath catching, shuddering out.

“That feels nice…” he mumbled, muffled against her wet skin.

Lingering there for a few minutes, eventually making her way down his back, taking her time. It was easy to tell where it hurt the most, his grip tightening each time, before loosening up. After a while, he slowly let go, sitting up, brushing the back of his hand along her cheek, forcing a half smile. Reaching for one of the bottles, he took a drink, trying to decide what he thought about it, tension fading little by little. Slipping down, she winced, pulling herself back up, glancing back for a moment. Sighing to herself, grabbing her drink from the edge, not recalling when her mouth got so dry. Cullen cast a look of brief confusion at the way she squirmed, the reason found in the downward nod she gave in reply.

“It gets caught a lot.” She told him, almost guiltily.

A thought that hadn’t actually came to mind until she mentioned it. With that in mind, he remembered a handful of times where she struggled with clothes, doors, and chairs, especially. Halfway through, he looked up again, examining the label.

“What is this, anyway? It’s a lot stronger than I thought.” He asked.

“A red wine, I got these as a gift. I’m not quite sure how old they are, but I think they’re from before the last Calamity.” She answered, looking for an indicator.

Shrugging it off, she finished hers, setting it off to the side. Granted, she didn’t have a ton of experience with drinking, it was a point of pride that Auri people were seasoned drinkers. Despite that, she couldn’t honestly deny that it was a bit stronger than she remembered. Tipping her head back against the edge, she closed her eyes with a long, slow breath. He rubbed his eyes lightly, sneaking a look at her while she wasn’t watching him, wandering over her, starting from her throat, noting that the desert sun had been kind to her, usually a bright caramel, now a deep golden tan. Following the swell of her breasts, perhaps a little bigger than they used to be, though he wasn’t sure, dusky nipples, firm muscles down her stomach, but not overly etched. Strong, slim thighs, maintaining a pleasant balance between being strong, and soft. The delicate lines of scales over her body, and the tail she so often struggled with, no longer strange to him. As though she sensed him looking, she turned onto her stomach, bracing herself against the edge on folded arms, her head resting comfortably on them. Her shoulders flexed slightly, a sense of grace in every small motion, roaming down her spine, he paused at her hips, his hand cutting through the water, resting on her butt. A sound almost like a surprised squeak muffled against her arm, she lifted her head, turning to look at him. Grinning slightly, in contrast to the deep blush, she spoke quietly, her accent thickened noticeably, perhaps unaware.

“You have a strange idea of relaxing, shin’aina.” She murmured.

He tugged her closer, lifting her easily, pulling her flush against him. Her fingers curling to massage the back of his neck, bending to kiss his cheek. Cullen folded his hands at her waist, keeping her close.

“Does it bother you? That we end up like this so often?” he asked.

A question that to her, required no thought, shaking her head immediately. “Not at all, should it?” she countered.

He shrugged a shoulder. “I’m not quite sure.” He said.

“At least where I’m from it was expected. Of my mother, especially. My clan had over a thousand to its name, all born into it through generations, that doesn’t happen overnight.” She told him, laughing quietly.

His hands moved then, tracing the length of her back a few times, before gently grabbing her tail, pulling lightly. “That’s one thing, but what is it for you, not everyone, just you?” his voice was soft, uncertain if it was concern or something else she detected.

“For me? It means being with someone I cherish, blurring the lines where I end and you begin, if you’re worried that I only see it as something shallow, you have no reason to be concerned.” She said, her words brushing past his ear.

He dipped his head down, trailing kisses across her breasts, his eyes flicking up to meet hers. “Do you want this?”

Her fingers slid easily along the sides of his neck and along his shoulders, stopping at his arms, squeezing gently, a quiet sigh ahead of her answer. “With you, always.”

That was an answer he hadn’t quite expected, the wine getting to him, perhaps, but it struck a chord with him, moving her once more, watching as she leaned against the edge once more. Propelling himself towards her, he brushed her hair aside, his breath over the back of her neck, leaned along her, the way his touch wandered slowly over her like he was mapping her body. Yuuki found the edge of the seat, resting comfortably on her knees, the feel of him like this comforting to her. His hips rolling against her for a moment, she hid shyly in her arms, easing her legs apart, holding her in place, easing into her, though a sudden, sharp whimper caused him to pause briefly, finding it a challenge that he attributed to the water, managing full entry after far longer than it usually took. Glancing at her, he noticed her whole body was tense, teeth sunk into her upper arm so hard he was certain she drew blood, her breath strained.

“Are you alright?” he asked, massaging her sides reassuringly.

Letting go of her arm, puffing out her answer quietly, embarrassment hidden in the few words she said. “It’s wrong…” she mumbled.

Not quite realizing what she meant at first, feeling her relax after a short time. She reached for his hand, pressing it downward, his fingers instinctively rubbing against her, his mistake obvious after a few moments. He tried to pull away, though she shook her head.

“If I’m hurting you, I don’t want to do this…” he told her nervously.

Turning her head slightly, she denied it again. “It’s alright, I have a feeling it will hurt worse if you stop now.” She said, burying her face once more.

“If you’re sure…” he sighed, planting a kiss between her shoulders, a form of apology, both pre-emptive and current.

Swallowing hard, he closed his eyes, rocking against her slowly at first, his hands moving to hold her, one snaked between her breasts, the other kept between her thighs, twisting to slip into her. It felt odd at first, nothing like he was used to, holding him inside tighter, harder to move, and that tail swiping across his hip with every move. Her breathing softer now, not so tense, he settled into a steadier rhythm, harder, faster, but not so much so that it would cause her too much pain. She moaned, music to his ears, a sign she was beginning to enjoy it, huffing out over the back of her neck. As awkward as it had begun, and still was, it would be lying to say he wasn’t finding it pleasurable. Feeling her quiver, his fingers moving faster, trying to push her over the edge, her release quicker than normal. He didn’t slow, didn’t stop, grinding against her now, her small hands grasping the stone edge tightly, pressing against him. Moving again from her chest to her hip, pulling her back faster, his focus slipping, chest heaving, panting eagerly. Cringing visibly, the sound she made a low, rumbling purr, gasping in a way that said she was close again already. Unusual for her, but at the same time, not a bad thing, already feeling the shocks creeping through his stomach and down his back. Growling through clenched teeth, squeezed harder, her muscles seizing. A muffled cry signaling how close she was, probing deeper, slowly pulling his hand away, unable to hold it back any longer, biting into her shoulder to silence himself, dragging her tightly against him, an intense shiver racing through him when he came, leaning over her while the last shockwaves echoed away. He slid his arms around her, holding her gently now, lovingly, drawing his hips back, slipping free after a moment, though he stayed against her. She lifted her head, glancing back at him briefly, exhaling slowly, a faint smile on her face.

“Ahn… that’s going to hurt in the morning…” she whispered, laughing a little.

Cullen leaned forward, kissing her cheek softly, moving to her lips, tongue dancing against hers briefly. Letting go almost unwillingly, he took a seat next to her, rubbing her hip.

“I didn’t mean to; I swear…” he told her.

She turned around, leaning to the side as she sat. “I didn’t complain, did I?” she joked.

Objectively speaking, they had managed the relax part of the day off after all. He nodded once, too drained to offer much more.

“True, you didn’t, though I still hurt you, and that’s what bothers me.” He said, brushing his hand against the back of his neck.

“I keep telling you, I’m not fragile. You can handle me roughly and I won’t break. I squirm, I whine, I get over it, if it’s with you, I enjoy it.” She said, laying her head on his shoulder.

How she always knew how to make him feel special was a mystery. The girl beyond endearing, he had to wonder what he did to deserve her.

“Maybe so, but you must realize by now that I love you and I don’t particularly want to hurt you if I can help it.” He sighed.

In her mind, Cullen was far kinder than she felt worthy of. Too nice compared to the men she grew up around, the kind who would gladly inflict pain if it gained them favor with important people. That he tried so hard to treat her this way almost made her want to cry, though admittedly, it was probably the wine making her overly emotional.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did say there was a fair bit of smut in the upcoming chapters~
> 
> Who needs a reason for booty?


	66. Ishgard, Again

“Don’t, not yet, I’m not ready…” she said nervously.

Chuckling slightly, he glanced up at her. “You, of all people saying something like that. What’s the problem?”

Blushing faintly, she stared hopelessly down at him. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do with my hands.” She admitted with a huff.

“What is it you always say? ‘I’m not breakable?’ Put them wherever you feel safest.” He instructed, for a moment, his tone similar to that which he took with his troops.

Sighing anxiously, she brought her hands to rest on his head. In her nervous exploration from this position, she noticed that he had gotten a little bit of a tan, his hair grazing between his shoulders now. Had it really been so long here? “Don’t drop me…” she pleaded softly.

“I won’t, promise.” He said.

Rising steadily, she leaned forward just a little, her heart pounding faster, though it slowed shortly after. He wasn’t used to this kind of reaction from her unless there was a distinct shared lack of clothing. That something so basic could make her nervous was cute, suspecting that saying it out loud would only serve to upset her. He kept his steps slow at first, letting her get used to the way it felt, before he fell into his usual walking pace. Hunched over now, her fingers threading through his hair, not pulling, but the way her nails scratched along his scalp wasn’t bad. Cullen suspected it was just that there was nothing extra to hold on to that had her so nervous. At least with her brother, he had horns, being human meant that option was gone for her.

“I don’t understand how others manage this…” she grunted.

“This is nothing. You’ll get used to this.” He answered, stealing a quick glance.

She had the look of trying to unravel a mystery, trying to figure out the trick to something she couldn’t understand. It was actually her idea, in exchange for helping him best figure out how to work with the new skills he had learned, he would teach her things she didn’t quite understand.

“I’ll get used to this? Are you planning on carrying me everywhere now?” she mumbled.

“I would carry you anywhere you wanted.” He replied, gently patting her thighs.

The reason this particular subject came up first appeared to be the stiff way she walked. Insisting that it was only her legs that hurt, he quickly saw through it, but surprising enough, didn’t say anything about it. On her signal, he knelt down again, holding her steady while she worked out how to get down. When she was safe, he turned to face her, reaching for her hands, his lips brushing over her knuckles.

“I suppose that wasn’t as bad as I thought…” she said.

“Was it really all that bad?” he teased, slowly letting go of her hands.

“No, not really, but I trust you...” She muttered under her breath.

There was silence for a time, his training coming along nicely, they had returned to Ishgard, ready to resume his work soon enough. The idea of going from somewhere hot to freezing wasn’t something he was particularly happy about. Though he supposed night wouldn’t be as bad, his mind wandering off to think about it. Prodding his arm gently, he snapped out of it.

“I apologize; I was somewhere else.” He admitted.

“Skyhold?” she wondered out loud.

Oddly enough, he hadn’t found himself thinking about it at all. Guessing it was because he finally had time to spend with her, largely alone, not just a few moments in passing, or the odd night together. He shook his head, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips, impossible to look away from. Her focus briefly shifting to the scar etched into his lip, blushing faintly.

“No…” he told her.

Curious about what could be on his mind to make him smile like that, compelled to ask, though expecting no answer.

“What are you thinking about then?’ she insisted.

She dug through her bag for a few moments, pulling out two glass containers of water, handing one to him. The first thing she learned as an Alchemist, how to purify water, and even with mastery in the craft, it still held so much use, just like she had been told.

“You. All of it is about you.” He said, blushing slightly, barely noticeable.

“What about me?” she pressed.

“It’s cold here... I just…it’s embarrassing…” he said nervously, taking a deep breath. “I thought it won’t be so bad next to you. Then, I thought of other things, though I think you’d find them…foolish.”

Gods, how long had it been since she last saw him like this, nervous and unsure. Glad enough that that much hadn’t changed about him. “I won’t”

“Silly things, I guess. You know, hot chocolate by a fire, or, curling up under a blanket together…” he said, that uncertain quality lingering.

Noticing the look in her eyes, he sighed. Maybe she wasn’t familiar with those things either. That she took so long to say anything was troubling him.

“I’d love to, it sounds sweet, not silly at all.” she stared at his hand briefly, reaching for it. “I like new things.”

As he suspected, it was new for her. Being fair, his only experience had been by himself, at night after others had went to bed, up with his thoughts. He tugged her against his chest, hugging her gently. If even one step had been done differently, at the start of all this, that this instant wouldn’t exist was troubling. Letting her go, he sighed to himself, debating if he really wanted to get started on the last leg of his training now, or after morning.

“I suppose we’ve rested long enough. I’ll go and report in.” he said.

It wasn’t the fighting or the apprentice treatment that was on his mind, only that being back in Ishgard meant they’d eventually return sooner than he thought. Going back would mean less time together again, part of him actually wishing they _could_ stay here, but even had he offered it serious consideration, she’d never go for it, not until there was nothing more she could do. She spoke, and it reminded him that she had a way of knowing what was on his mind, not quite like Cole, but just as strange.

“You know; I think Alphinaud has things under control. Up to you if we leave on time or make an excuse to stay a little longer. Let’s not forget there’s still weeks, at least, before we’re supposed to return.” She said.

Trailing behind him, allowing him to lead this time. Beginning to understand what he meant when he had told her he preferred to follow behind her, the form he cut while fighting was certainly something. They had left in a hurry, forgetting how cold it was, the outfit he wore not meant for cold weather, but damned if he didn’t look good in it. Gods, those were the thoughts of someone else, they had to be for as pure as everyone insisted she was. Was it proper to think of a man as beautiful, she wasn’t quite sure, but he was. That didn’t stop her from wondering exactly when he had managed to become so meaningful. Shaking her head, she scratched the back of her head.

“I’ll stop and find you something warmer…” she told him.

“Are we close to the market?” he asked, still learning the layout of the city.

 “Not too far, whenever you’re ready.” She answered, moving to stand next to him. “Long way or teleport?”

He sighed, draping his arm around her. “As much as I wouldn’t mind taking a walk with you, it’s a bit cold for a long walk.” He admitted.

“Teleport it is, then. Don’t let me go…” she said.

Something about the way she said it that was amusing to him, an instruction, but he couldn’t help but picture her saying it differently, wide-eyed and nervous, a moment of vulnerability, begging him not to leave her side. Sighing again, he attributed it to the cold getting to him. That or he was developing a rather active imagination.


	67. A Child of Ishgard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A night of warmth and chocolate leads to an eventful morning, and to the welcoming of a new addition.

Yuuki handed the mugs to him, waiting until they were safely set down. He reached for her hand, guiding her down next to him, wrapping the blanket around her before snaking a hand around her waist. Resting against her gently, he reached for a drink, taking a sip, watching her mimic his actions nervously. Some part of her worried about messing up the image he had in his mind, questioning every simple movement several times over. Cullen found it amusing, how she could manage so much with such ease, and this was what tripped her up.

“All you need to do is get comfortable, relax…” he directed, finally deciding to help her.

Honestly, it was already better than it had went in his head, sharing a blanket, by the fireplace. She made the hot chocolate he had asked for, and the natural heat was pleasant, chasing away the bitter cold seeping in through the thick windows even closed. Just like that, with her in his arms, they fell asleep, curled together on the hide rug in the center of the room.

* * *

 

Cullen certainly wouldn’t like waking up alone, but he so rarely had nights where he slept so peacefully. Added to the delicacy of the situation, and it almost felt like she had no choice. She called him, her voice quiet so as not to wake him, but urgent, enough to let him know it was definitely an emergency. He hurried over, bringing her to the office where no one would interrupt, a medic waiting there.

“This isn’t going to work…” she whispered quietly.

“She already knows, one of the few people in Ishgard that actually do, this is probably the only place where no one would suspect anything.” He explained, staring out the window, intending to give her the privacy she deserved.

That he couldn’t exactly leave without attracting suspicion was well understood, a fact she would accept, though she was sure to lay down her terms. He kept his back to her, deciding to focus on his paperwork so she wouldn’t be distracted.

* * *

 

He woke to find her gone, something that hadn’t happened in a long time, though he had little time to wonder, reaching for the linkpearl on the stand by the bed, a calm, eloquently worded message for him.

“Commander, it’s Aymeric. I’ve been asked to invite you just across the way. I trust you remember where my office is? My guard will let you in.”

He ruffled his hair sleepily, searching for his boots. “I’ll be there shortly.” He mumbled.

“You may wish to hurry, the Lady said it was urgent.

He wrinkled his nose, hurriedly pulling his boots on. He trusted her, of course, but it bothered him a little that she would leave so early and go to see him. Leaving the room, he rushed up the steps and across the wide street, the guard moving out of the way when he saw him. Pushing through the last door, he wasn’t quite sure what he should expect to see, more than a little surprised with the answer. Not at all familiar, considering the last time, he hadn’t been allowed to see her, the way she looked more than a little worrisome.

“Are you in pain?” he asked.

Aymeric pushed a chair back towards him, and Cullen sat down, reaching for her hand.

“I can’t feel anything, actually.” She laughed, though the look she gave him said she was nervous.

The healer occasionally leaned in, measuring results to things he couldn’t quite understand, that he assumed was important.

“I have my answer after all.” He said, smiling a little.

She winced, unable to answer right away, a dull shock of pain managing to slip past the unique spell. The woman seemed a bit unhappy about it, shaking her head, a glowing aura spreading over her.

“I’m going to try a higher intensity, do let me know if you can still feel it.” She told her.

Yuuki nodded slowly, turning her attention back to Cullen, squeezing his hand gently. “So you do.” She mumbled softly. “Look, I know that I should have woke you up for this, but you looked so peaceful, I couldn’t. “

“That, and this is a bit of an unusual situation. Considering the circumstances, I didn’t want to chance calling attention to it.” Aymeric added.

“Won’t it be an issue when people see her?” he asked.

“No, considering the number of attempts on my life and the recent attempt to sabotage our tentative peace, I gather no one will question ‘extra precautions’ for this matter.” He said, reaching across his desk for his tea. “What is the acceptable formalities for this? Is it proper to invite you out for a drink after this, or is there a different method you use where you’re from?”

For a moment, he sounded much like she did when she was inquiring about the correct way to do things. Perhaps she had worn off on him a little in her travels, though it was interesting how much of her personality her friends exhibited. “I wouldn’t say no to a drink.” He answered.

Naturally only one. She had proven to be very good with Kimi, though he didn’t like the idea of leaving all the work to her. That and he found a sense of purpose in his family, though he was far too embarrassed to tell her that.

* * *

 

She looked so tired, like she hadn’t managed sleep in a week. She eyed him expectantly, and he wasn’t entirely sure what she was wanting from him. Turning her focus back to the bundle in her arms, she spoke, her voice soft, almost weak.

“It’s tradition for men to name their sons, is it not?” she asked.

That’s what she was waiting for. He brushed his hand through his hair, exhaling slowly. Maker, he hadn’t been prepared for that, and he wasn’t even sure he could come up with anything suitable. Tossing around ideas, he imagined anything he picked, she might shoot down, frowning a little. He had one thought, but he was certain she’d hate it, especially when the wound was still fresh. Leaning in, he whispered quietly to her, conferring with her before he could make any kind of decision on the matter. She tensed for the briefest moment, nodding once.

“I… that’s a fine name.” she told him.

Struggling to keep her eyes open, he reached for the baby, laughing quietly. “Perhaps a raincheck on that drink.”

“I can send for it, it’s no problem. If you don’t mind my asking, what did you settle on?” he asked, crossing the room to speak with the guard.

Clearing his throat, he looked back. “Haurchefant.” He replied.

“The Lady agreed? Perhaps she’s finally mending.” He said.

It didn’t take long for the guard to return, Aymeric taking the bottles from him, gesturing to the healer. “She should check him over anyway, go ahead.”

Cullen hesitated, allowing her to take him, watching her intently, reaching for the offered drink. Taking a sip, he commented after a few moments. “He looks more like Yuuki.”

He had a sparse amount of wispy black hair, a scattering of scales over his face, one rosy eye and one amber, a strange combination of her features and his. Bundled as he was, he couldn’t readily tell if he had a tail or not, though it didn’t bother him one way or the other. When they finally did head back, it would certainly be a surprise, not to mention Josephine and Leliana would have yet another reason to avoid work and someone else to spoil. The whole situation was a lot to take in, and the more he looked at her, the more he wanted to get her back to the room so she could rest in comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I left it kind of ambiguous initially, so I could work out the details, and I thought it was time.


	68. Further Effort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen embarks on his own to continue his training, and a special greeting waits for him at the room.

She woke later than normal, rubbing at her eyes when it hit her just how much later it actually was. She scurried out of the bed, scrambling towards the kitchen, stopping in her tracks. Cullen stood there with his back to her, turning his head just enough to see her.

“Ahh, you’re finally up.” He said with a smile. “Should you be out of bed so soon?”

She scraped her fingers through her hair nervously, a brief sensation of failure crawling through her. He turned finally, presenting her with a plate and a glass urging her to take it back to the bed. It looked edible at least, and smelled good, the presentation would have earned her mentor’s fury, but he _tried._  Unable to stop grinning even though she was certain she must look quite the mess, feeling stupid, she took it back to the bed, sitting carefully, drawing her knees to her chest.

“I’m fine, I recover quickly.” She laughed quietly, blushing when she looked up. “Thank you…”

He sat on the edge of the bed then, moving to support his back against the wall. “I wanted to let you rest, I thought for once, I could try to make breakfast…” he trailed off nervously.

Scanning the dimly lit room, her eyes fell on a small wooden cradle. She took a sip of the tea he had given her, surprised at just how right it was. Still shaking the sleep from her mind, it felt too early to offer any meaningfully strong reaction to anything, picking slowly through the food he gave her, pausing to yawn.

“Where did that come from?” she finally asked.

“Aymeric had it brought over early this morning. He needed a nap too, fell asleep with no trouble.” He said.

That wasn’t entirely true, but he didn’t want her to know that he had spent some time telling stories to him. That those stories were about her made it more embarrassing to him. He couldn’t recall many stories, instead deciding to repeat those that he had been told of her travels.

She set her dishes on the stand, stretching. Frowning a little, the realization that she wouldn’t be able to join him occurring to her. “Are you alright to go out alone?”

Cullen set a hand on her knee, massaging gently. He knew how she felt about it, knowing he wasn’t familiar with the lands, and worried she might lose him if she wasn’t there. A half-smile played across his lips, leaning against her for a moment to reach for her dishes, taking them back out to the kitchen.

“I’ll be fine, love. I have a map now; I’ll find my way back to you.” He assured her.

“You better…” she mumbled under her breath, masking concern.

He crossed the room, stopping at her side, bending to kiss her, his fingers sliding through her hair slowly. Pausing to caress her cheek, he stood once more, taking the time to get into the new set of armor she had bought for him. His hand on the door, he looked back one last time.

“Take care of him, alright? I’ll be back before the sun sets.” He told her, leaving before he could talk himself out of it.

* * *

 

Cullen sighed, staring down at the map. This was the right place, but he couldn’t find the man anywhere. One thing he didn’t like about this place, people often told you where to meet them, but were hard as hells to find. Not to mention this particular place had him uneasy, how the mass of land managed to stay afloat, unsupported by anything was strange. Creatures unlike anything he had yet seen catching his attention, nothing similar in Thedas, he had no idea what to make of them.

“There you are.” A man called to him.

Turning around, he saw his teacher walking into view. Flicking a wave, sun scattering off his armor, almost blindingly so.

“I’d have been here sooner, but this place wasn’t easy to find…” he sighed, scratching the back of his neck.

He looked around for a moment, a hand resting under his chin in thought. “I thought this would be a fine place to work on crowd control.” He said, pointing off in the distance to a large group of long necked beasts, taller than anything he had seen if one counted the neck in height. “Those are dhalmels. Docile enough, if you hit one, you’ll find the whole herd will come after you. I wish I had something more suited to your skill, but this is the best I could manage on short notice. I want to see how well you’ve learned to work with your abilities.” He explained.

Cullen wasn’t concerned about it over much. Yuuki was very thorough in her explanations of how to use what he learned, demonstrating how best to utilize them as many times as it took for him to memorize it. He’d certainly try to make it quick, wanting to keep his word. He took the few uneasy steps down the stone path connecting the landmasses, glancing to his shield briefly, taking aim as he tossed it at the nearest target, catching it when it flew back. Why couldn’t all shields come back by themselves? That was a convenience that would make combat so much easier. Angrily, it stomped towards him, as he was told, the rest charged with the others.

_“No, your stance is too relaxed. Shield up, the sword should be the afterthought right now…” her tone commanding._

_She charged at him, knocking him back, not expecting her to come at him so fiercely.  “Hold on, let me make the adjustments first…” he protested._

_“Your enemies won’t wait, I won’t either. You asked me to help you learn, and I’m not planning on going easy on you just because I care about you.” She stated._

_He had never seen this side of her, the take charge way she ordered him about. No trace of shyness, no nervousness, no hint of the sweet, loving girl he loved. Now, she more resembled him, correcting every step, refusing to slow her assault._

_“It’s odd, seeing you like this.” He puffed out, blocking her attack._

_“You can take a direct hit, remember your protective skills, they just might save your life.” She reminded him._

_As if emphasizing her point, she aimed for his chest, full force in her charging. A moment of panic, he quickly spread the barrier out in front of him, watching as she was deflected harmlessly off to the side. Exhaling slowly, he had a small window to catch his breath while she readied herself once more._

_“Very good, you’re starting to get it.” She praised._

He spread out the barrier, able to strike safely from behind it, taking advantage of the window to attack while protected. Raising his shield when it vanished, his strikes fewer and farther between, focusing on defense now. This way, he was able to strike them down one by one, taking only minimal damage in return. It was beginning to feel natural to him now, as though this was what he had done much of his life. A ring of fallen beasts scattered around him, he knelt down, cutting away the hides. He had no use for them personally, but she might, and for that reason alone, he busied himself collecting the pile, returning to his teacher.

“You certainly made short work of them. I’m pleased to say that when next you return, I have but one more task for you to finish.” He told him.

* * *

 

He quietly opened the door, pausing at the view before him. Relaxing comfortably, holding their son, Kimi leaned against her side, until she noticed him in the door way, excitedly tugging on her sleeve.

“O-to.” She said, quietly, scampering to the edge of the bed to stare at him.

Yuuki looked over for a moment, a proud smile on her face. “Someone looks happy to see you.” She laughed.

He set his sword and shield by the wall, depositing the pile of hides next to it, peeling his gauntlets off. Taking a knee by the bed, he ruffled her hair gently.

“I’m always happy to see my girls.” He answered with a chuckle.

“You have good timing. That was her first word, I think.” She murmured, rubbing at her eyes, moving to sit up fully.

“What does it mean?” he asked, recognizing it as a word not in the common tongue.

“Father, or, I suppose Papa might be a bit closer?” she tried to explain.

He beamed with pride, scooping her up carefully. “She _is_ my little princess, after all.”  he said, almost as though bragging.

She seemed alright with that. Moving to set him in his cradle for a nap, she glanced back to him. “You certainly spoil her enough, of course she likes you better.” She teased.

He set her down, going off to change. When he returned, he picked her up again, taking a seat. Pulling himself back along the mattress, resting next to her. He reached for her hand, rocking to the sides slowly to help her get to sleep easier.

“I’m still not used to how heavy that armor is…” he groaned out.

Yuuki leaned closer, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “When she falls asleep, you can stretch out, I’ll take care of you.” She murmured quietly.

Not a bad reward for a bit of work. A massage might even help him get to sleep easier too. He wanted to refuse, noting how tired she looked, but he knew she’d deny it, and being completely honest, he didn’t mind the attention. Bringing her hand up, he planted a kiss against the back of her hand. He felt something tugging at his hair, distracting him for a moment, big, light brown eyes staring expectantly at him. Laughing to himself, he kissed her cheek, patting her head.

“I haven’t forgotten about you, little one.” He told her.


	69. Long Road Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The time has finally come to return to Thedas, and Yuuki finds she's not the only one wishing they could have stayed.

She sighed, walking through the lines of gathered troops once more. The time to return had come far too soon, wanting to stay and enjoy it a little longer. Like the most fantastic dream, it of course, had to come to an end. Hanging her head, she glanced away. “That’s everyone…we can move out.”

On her command, they marched through, and for the first time she could remember, it hurt her. Actual, physical pain, nothing imagined about it. For the first time, she was beginning to see things with fresh eyes, no one could actually recognize her underneath their own expectations. The last time anyone stopped and talked to her like any other person, aside from Cullen and a scattering of others, it had been years. At the start of everything, people would stop and ask her how her day was, whether or not she had plans for the holidays. Now, she could stand in a room, and all eyes would be on her because she was ‘special’ and demand others show her the respect due to someone in her position. Loneliness, that was the only way to describe the lingering sting she felt.

Solas seemed unusually troubled as well. She moved to walk next to him, staring at the ground. “You okay?”

He took a deep breath, thinking it over before deciding to answer. “I’ll get over it.”

“I take it you liked it?” she asked, genuinely interested to know.

“It was… better than I expected. You weren’t wrong.” He said.

His tone held a silent ‘that’s what you wanted to hear, right?” somewhere in his words, but she suspected it was an honest answer, knowing the sentiment well. They had only been gone a matter of minutes, and she already felt the urge to turn around and go back. Another taste of something she might never get to have.

“I gather Mother took you around and introduced you to everyone?” all she could manage.

“I…yes… she did. Though I admit I had less of a chance to look around as well as I’d intended to.” He said.

“She gets very busy at times. I’m sure she enjoyed the company.” She sighed, arcing forward in an attempt to crack her back.

“Oh, she did. That’s why I didn’t get out.” He said casually.

Yuuki froze, glancing at him suspiciously, slowly hunching back over curiously while she tried to process what she perceived he was saying. “Is…it very serious?”

He smiled, the first time she could remember him doing so, at least this way, though she could scarcely find the right words for it.

“Yes, and no, I suppose. I can’t say for sure how serious it could become. Only that it’s been a long time since I’ve felt so close to someone else.” He admitted.

Unexpectedly honest, she couldn’t say she knew him all that well, but she knew Miounne, and knew if something was beginning between them, it was already more serious than he might realize. She puffed out her cheeks, resting a hand on her hip. “I absolutely refuse to call you father. No way in any of the seven hells.”

He laughed, shaking his head. “I wouldn’t expect you to. I’m not quite the fatherly type anyway.”

As if by the mere mention of the word, Cullen appeared seemingly out of nowhere, a bit flustered, almost helpless looking. “Yu—Inquisitor…” he said, correcting himself, nodding to the wrapped bundle in his arms, currently wailing uncontrollably. “He… he won’t stop crying; I think he wants you…”

Yuuki reached for him, cradling him comfortably while she walked, the steps doubling as a means to rock him. Settling down not long after, she smiled proudly. “There, no problem, right?” she asked him.

Cullen furrowed his brow, almost disappointed. “How did you do that?”

She shrugged. “I understand all language. It doesn’t sound like much to others, but babies communicate too. He just needed a little help getting to sleep.”

Pressing a hand between her shoulders, he picked up his pace to match hers. “Are you feeling alright? You don’t seem so well…”

Something wasn’t right, that was for sure. Lightheaded, stomach in knots again, hard to breathe. All signs of aether sickness, and yet it shouldn’t have been nearly as dense as in Eorzea.

“I’d rather discuss that in private, what I can say is something isn’t quite right. The aether is much thicker than it was when we left. It’s bothering me a little, but it should be fine…” she mumbled.

“Thicker? Is that a problem?” he asked, unclear in the meaning.

“When I first arrived, it was thinner than that of my own world, easy to breathe, easy to function. Like this, I feel sick, heavier. Though I can say this has benefits…” she said.

“Benefits to being sick, that’s a first.” Solas chimed in.

“Not that part. Dense aether, I can use it to amplify magic. The…” she lowered her voice in case anyone who might cause harm had the means to listen in. “secret weapon requires extreme amounts of magic to do what it is meant to do. I can’t say if it will be enough even like this, but it could be.”

“Can you adjust to the difference?” Solas questioned, trying to understand it better.

“I can, it… just might take a day or two.” She said. “It gives me time to try and figure out if I can manage the level of aetheric discharge I need…”

Cid caught up to them from the center of the crowd, laughing a little. “So you _have_ been paying attention to my lessons after all.”

“Hey… I can understand it a little… “she pouted.

Solas interjected briefly. “I’m just wondering how people will receive the newest recruit.”

“I’m not sure I want to think about it, I brought back some small things as gifts, and I guarantee it’s going to be stressful when they see him.” She groaned. “Josephine, I think might even be more excited to see them than anything…”

“Didn’t you introduce her to your brother? I’d bet she’s nowhere to be found.” Cid laughed.

“Oh… so I did…I suppose I should just hope they haven’t taken over the rest of Thedas while we were away…he always had more of a conqueror’s mind. Just like father did, of course the Empress didn’t approve. Had to work to rein them in…” she mused quietly.

“You don’t speak of your parents much…” Cullen noted.

“I didn’t have much of a chance to know them. I only have vague memories now, worn with time, hard to recall finer details. It’s like… a faded painting.” She told him. “Kaien probably knew them the best. I’m sure he has more than a few stories.”

She turned her focus to the path ahead, a headache pounding through her skull, frowning a little. More than anything, she hoped they weren’t too far off, the idea of crawling into bed and taking a nap was what kept her going at this point, every muscle aching already, another unpleasant side effect of the adjustment period. The words she dreaded hearing inevitably bringing her thoughts crashing and smoking back down to reality.

“We’ll have to set up camp soon…” Solas observed. “I’ll take watch tonight. You look like you can barely stand.”

Prepared to protest the decision, she snuck a glance at Cullen, his expression serious as he met her gaze. Clearly, he supported the idea, and she _knew_ how he handled things. Better to just agree and rest up while the option was there than argue and have him stay up all night to make sure she didn’t try to sneak out.

“That…that’s fine.” She mumbled quietly.


	70. Discourage

_“Sleeping well? Amazing how vulnerable you are right now…What does it say of you that you can rest so easily, knowing at any moment, I could steal your will, take your form?” a voice rasped._

_The feeling of cold metal claws scraped slowly against her neck as if to emphasize the point. Even in her dreams, the aether was clouding her vision, hard to identify solely on sight who it was, the voice unfamiliar. It didn’t take a genius to realize what it was though. The cold, unfeeling touch of an Ascian, taunting her, no secret that Hydaelyn was weakening. If her blessings failed, how easily it would be to lose herself to the darkness, a prospect that troubled her._

_“I may not be able to have you yet, but give it time. You know She’s struggling.” He said._

“Get out of my head…” she groaned.

A hand gripped her arm loosely, not the same cold feeling as before, gently shaking her. She opened her eyes, still fully expecting to see the familiar dark robes and smug, leering expression when she did. Instead, it was her brother, staring at her grumpily, that usual look he reserved to remind her she was doing something _distinctly_ outside of tradition, though she could recall no rule against sleeping.

“You’re up. Good. Get back to work, you’ve slept long enough.” He chided, folding his arms across his chest slowly. “You talk in your sleep, it’s not very ladylike.” He added as an afterthought, as though he were looking for reasons to lecture her, though his features softened just a tiny bit. A little hint of concern buried cleverly beneath his sudden scowl as he marched out.

The last thing she remembered was setting up camp for the night, and yet here she was, in her bed. A basic check of her surroundings confirmed she was indeed, back at Skyhold now. How she got back was lost to her, though if she had to guess, she was carried, the absence of pain telling her she hadn’t simply been dragged back. Swinging her legs off the edge of the mattress, she quickly stood up, checking her attire before heading for the door. Still not completely awake, if she didn’t return to her duties, he’d return to tell her that she needed to not be so lazy, or that the family was rolling their eyes at her from beyond. In a sense, she was glad he had returned, the method harsh by other standards, it was to be expected by theirs.

She plodded heavily down the steps, dragging through the hall only until she reached the final door to the hall. Straightening up, tilting her chin up defiantly, the very picture of proud strength befitting a person of her stature, injecting her motions and steps with grace as she entered the hall. A brief flash of hesitation as all eyes turned to look at her, like being stuck with pins from head to toe, before they turned back to their own conversations, and she could sneak a slow, quiet breath. Protocol suggested she return to gather her advisors, discuss findings and options, but she wanted to dispense her gifts and catch up first. After all, wasn’t that a way to also discuss what happened while they were away?

Eager to appear every bit fitting in the role she was destined to play, she strode into the yard. When was the last time she actually had to try to look and act this part? It had all been so effortless before, and with her confidence jolted, it required actual work. While she considered where to go first, something prodded her shoulder firmly, shaking her loose from her own thoughts, spinning on her toes to seek out the source. Bull stood there, cutting that same imposing figure as her brother, a fact she attributed to both of them being so bloody tall.

“It’s good, Boss. Just one problem, you’re trying too hard, you look rigid, take a deep breath and relax your shoulders.” He said.

Leave it to him to correct her form even like this. Though now that he mentioned it, her shoulders especially felt tight, like she was holding them in place with all she had. Taking a deep breath, she exhaled slowly, her muscles loosening enough to make it look more natural, not quite so forced.

“Much better. I doubt many people noticed, but if you’re trying that hard, it might help.” He told her.

Yuuki expected to encounter him much later in her rounds, but now that he was here, she might as well give it to him. She held up a finger as if telling him to wait. Hunched over her bag, she pushed things to the sides, finding what she was after, yanking it out. A large axe, one of her collection she thought he might appreciate a little more than she did, presenting it to him.

“Thought you might get more use from this than I will.” She grunted, handing it over.

He took it, caught off guard when the pattern carved in the sides of the blade began to glow. He hefted it onto his shoulder, the bright red glare fading away.

“That’s weird…” he muttered.

“A weapon of the Allagan Empire. Long since gone except the few remnants of their history. It served me well, but as I said, I think it will suit you better.” She explained.

He shrugged his free shoulder, nodding. “Yeah, it looks pretty sturdy. Thanks, Boss.”

He nudged her away then, before she felt the need to stop and catch up with him. He didn’t have much to say that she’d be interested in, unless she was interested in how many time he knocked Krem on his ass, or how many pints he tore through, or the number of women he bedded, none of which couldn’t be discussed over the next night the group got together to gamble away coins and drink the night away. She took a few steps before he spoke to her one last time, though she didn’t turn to look at him, as she might with others, with him, at least, it bothered her that he actually had to look down to talk to her.

“See you for the game this week?” he asked.

A small smile pulled at the corner of her lips. If nothing else, he didn’t go over the top to treat her like she was some divine being, or incredibly gifted hero sent to save the world from its struggles. To him, she was just a friend, an employer, and occasionally the sucker who parted with her coins over a bad hand of cards.

“I wouldn’t miss it for all the sovereigns in Skyhold.” She answered with a laugh.

All the recent events had gotten to her, and for that reason alone, she had reached a decision. She needed to hunt down Varric soon, in private, hopefully. Josephine had been a bit too strict for her liking, and she was sure that Dorian wouldn’t resist laughing at her request. This required someone who might not only be willing, and would be less likely to laugh at her, and could be trusted with a secret like this. Plotting out her course of action, she settled on seeing him last, giving her time to come up with a clever excuse for why she absolutely needed to speak with him alone that wouldn’t seem too suspicious.

‘ _Maybe something like the results of an investigation she did for him? Not good enough. Hawke could be an option. Discussing if he heard anything new?’_  she thought to herself.

Times like this made her wish she was a more convincing liar, excuses were hardly her area of expertise, and if anyone else had picked up on her body language the way Cullen had, she was already doomed.


	71. Stone and Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki and Varric meet in secret to discuss a problem.

Her fingers clumsily brush along the side of her neck, the memory of her dream – or was it a vision? Either way, firmly etched into her mind in a way that made her think it was about to happen anytime she turned a corner, expectantly glancing anxiously in every direction. All while managing to maintain that false stride of elegant power she was slowly mastering. Varric had agreed to meet her, an unused room that she supposed was meant to be someone’s office being the location. Far enough removed from the busy conversation and pounding of feet on stone, driven purposely to some place in a hurry. The door opened, the steady steps behind her signaling his arrival.

“Varric.” She said by way of greeting.

“You sound tense. Of course, wanting to meet like this seemed unusual enough to pique my interest. What did you want to see me about that was so important?” he asked.

Straight to business, not that it was a problem. Though she was fully willing to admit that the lack of a nickname, after this long, was bothering her. Not that she’d ever say that out loud. Digging through her bag, she pulled out a black, leather-bound book, handing it to him.

“This first. I figured you might like this.” She said.

The smell of new leather pointing to it being a fresh, untouched book. It was, of course. She had a copy of the record of her own journey printed and bound just for him. Lacking his talent for storytelling, the best way to explain to him the things she had seen was simply to show him. He lazily flipped open the cover, passing on the directory, stopping on the first page with any meaningful offering, her arrival in the great city-states. A particularly hazy memory for her, but it was captured with full clarity between the pages.

“This is… impressive. I’ve never seen records like this…” he mumbled, distractedly as he watched a different memory now. “Thank you…”

She hadn’t expected that kind of response. Of course, that was nothing like finding out just _how many_ people somehow came into possession of them. The one at the Scions’ headquarters was no surprise, people like the Lord Commander, and even the Timber master having one caught her off guard, to the point of wondering if they were available for purchase or given freely from some dimly lit office somewhere. Her nervous fidgeting called his attention away, closing the book gently, looking to her once again.

“I had a feeling that there was a more serious matter. This, you could have given me anywhere. What’s on your mind?” he asked.

Yuuki began pacing, fingertips pressed together at her waist, lightly tapping them as she walked, turning circles now. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes, halting her movements in preparation to explain the reason she insisted on meeting away from prying eyes.

“Varric – I was hoping you could help me. I… can’t read.” She said quietly, almost too quiet to be heard.

He didn’t laugh, didn’t smile, trying to decide if she was pulling his leg. “I’ve seen you with books before though…”

She quickly produced a different volume from her bag, thrusting it towards him nervously. It was indeed the book she had been reading many times before. He opened it, flipping through quickly, lofting a brow when it finally occurred to him that there were no words in it, aside from the title on the cover. Everything inside was visual, pictures and diagrams, all appearing to be methods on superior crafting techniques for armor. The girl was serious after all. He closed it, returning it to her, scratching his chin in thought. She frowned nervously, concerned he might refuse to help her, a thought that hadn’t occurred to her until that moment.

“I have a book that might be easy enough to start you on. I have no idea if it would interest you at all, but the point shouldn’t be holding your interest so much as what you can manage. I realize you didn’t go through this much trouble to be seen by others, so… how about this. The tavern is empty around the time everyone else goes to bed, you buy the drinks, and I’ll teach you. You make it through the first one easy enough, and I’ll give you something more challenging.” He offered, his expression hard to read, though perhaps only because she hadn’t taken the time to study him the same way she had others.

Her brows knitted worriedly, she nodded. It was a better idea than what she had now, and even among her closest friends, he was the one she felt would judge her the least. “That sounds fine… just… just let me know when you have the time to start.” She sighed, a mixture of relief and helplessness.

He patted her arm gently, tucking the tome under his arm as he turned to leave. “Can I ask why this is important to you? I’m not so vain as to think this is an elaborate ruse to get a free copy of one of my books, after all.”

She turned her focus to her hands, shrugging slowly. “I never learned. I think maybe if I can now, that I can maybe find some means to improve the current situation. Dorian once mentioned he thought he could find Corypheus’ real name in a book, and while I don’t expect any books here to contain some hidden wisdom on Garleans or Ascians, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a single book here that might help somehow…”

“Is that really the only reason?” he questioned.

She blushed, twirling her thumbs in slow circles. “I… want to know what it’s like to lose yourself in a story. Even Cassandra smiles, and she hardly ever does that. I saw _Sera_ reading on the roof a couple times, and she doesn’t exactly have the most amazing upbringing either…”

He nodded once, though what was meant by that, she had no clue. Was it a good nod, or some secretly disapproving nod? He left without a word, though that didn’t worry her, if nothing else, her secret was safe. Or so she thought, feeling a lingering gaze she hadn’t noticed before, she quickly turned around, in time to see a wisp of long, pale-blonde hair disappearing from the other door. A pang of anxiety welled up in her chest, someone, and she had a very _good_ guess who it was, had heard her secret. Thancred, if it was indeed him and not just her mind playing further tricks on her, wouldn’t tell anyone. Or he might, he was a chatty drinker, and not particularly well known for keeping things quiet, though she could recall no memories or secondhand stories of him blurting secrets. The massive exception was when Lahabrea controlled him, revealing the secret location of the Scions’ original headquarters. Despite certainty that he was fine still, she rushed out the door after him, her heart racing at the thought of it slipping to the wrong people. He had vanished, again, if it was actually him. Nowhere to be seen, focusing on the few shadows scattered between her and the ground, though even there, she saw nothing.

“Shit…” she muttered. “Halone, so help me if he tells even one person, I’m going to kill him.”

An empty threat, but it still felt somewhat pleasant to say it anyway. She straightened up once more, striding slowly down the stairs to the yard, reflecting on just how hard it was to feign composure when your heart felt like it might blow out of her chest at any moment. At least for now, he had slipped away successfully, and she felt obligated to maintain her appearance, where she hadn’t before. She still didn’t care what people thought of her, but she absolutely refused to look anything but the divine messenger she was supposed to be for the sake of her family. All too well did she know that the reputation of one could harm those associated. If she slipped, everyone could suffer for it, a lesson in diplomacy as well as an unfortunate reality of growing up in near-constant war conditions.


	72. Q's and A's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A conversation leads to the most likely reason behind her arrival, and the realization of just what could be in store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was reminded that there was no actual explanation for why she arrived in Thedas, I figured it was time to fix that.

Kicking back, shuffling papers from one side of her desk to the other, pausing to take a sip, fresh orange juice, made just that morning before she had set about to work. Alphinaud had delivered the reports, and she promised she would read them later, though she knew she wouldn’t. He took a seat across from her, the look of someone who had some meaningful question burning through his mind written on his face. She turned her focus back to the dark surface spread out in front of her, replacing her work with a bow. In an effort to at least look like she was doing something important, she carefully pried the fraying string free, searching for a replacement among her things.

“Was there something else, or are you just admiring my terrible taste in decorations?” she questioned.

Cursing to herself as she shuffled miscellaneous items aside, trying to recall which section of her bag she had last seen it in. Sinew everywhere, all kinds, animal, beast, raptor, and of course what felt like a million different kinds of thread, but the bowstring eluded her.

“There was a discussion while you were away. I recalled Cid mentioned you went through some manner of hole in the sky when it can be assumed you arrived here. I wonder if you remember it any better now?” he asked.

She stopped, tilting her head to the side while she thought back. The time he referred to, she couldn’t even remember going through the hole in the first place. It had been some time since then, and it was possible if she just thought hard enough, maybe the details would become less fuzzy. A glint in her bag distracted her, grabbing it before she lost it again, pleased when she found it at last. Busying herself with restringing it, a tedious process to do so without snapping it.

“I don’t quite remember all of it. We were in the airship, the meters went crazy, and the ship was pulling down hard. There was a shadow cast over the sides of the ship, but I don’t know if I looked or not. Cid said we were about to go down, that the ship’s engines were failing and unless we could drop some of the weight, we wouldn’t escape the pull. I didn’t think twice about it, I just jumped.” She said.

Succeeding in fixing her bow, she moved to stand, drawing it back. The tension felt right, and it was smooth enough, though the only real way to test it meant to actually loose a few arrows, something that was certainly frowned on inside. Setting it back down, deciding to make time to test it out properly later, for now, she sat back down, draping one leg across the other.

“They say you recovered some of your memories before, did they do nothing to help?” he wondered.

“No, those memories only explained what I forgot since I arrived.” She began. As if to remind her of its existence, her hand lit up, fire shooting through her nerves, before it settled down. “Relating to this, in fact. You know me, I can’t resist poking around where I shouldn’t.”

Heaving a sigh, she took a look at it. At least when things went wrong before, the consequences were never this drastic. Of course, that was a lie. Losing Haurchefant, and allowing Ysayle to sacrifice herself, those were consequences far worse than the pain this caused. Most of the time, she was content to ignore it, and go about her day, losing friends was something that couldn’t be ignored with such ease.

“How exactly did you end up with that? No one talks about it, like it’s forbidden, only I don’t think it is.” He said.

“Dear Gods, do you really want to hear about that? That tear in the sky, it spat me out on some Twelve-forsaken rocky path. I saw large groups of people heading towards the same place. Decided I’d follow them, because what could go wrong? Things went wrong, quickly, and I heard someone call for help, so I went to look. I knew it had to be bad, because I vaguely recalled the feeling that I shouldn’t be there, and that I should have turned and ran. No, instead I grabbed something I knew nothing about. It all blew up, and I’m relatively sure it was my fault. The rest, you certainly remember hearing. Fell out of the Fade, taken prisoner and interrogated, and then surprise! I’m important.” She explained, grunting unhappily as those last words left her mouth.

“But you haven’t wondered about what caused the tear in the first place?” he questioned, surprised at just how un-inquisitive she was for a woman bearing the title ‘Inquisitor’

“I figured I could narrow down the possible causes. Hydaelyn, for once. ‘All creation’ and whatnot. Or maybe even Halone, picking up on a place that just… needed me more. Of course I didn’t rule out the Garleans either, or Ascians. Considering we went down in Azys Lla, which you might recall is where I last saw Varis… I’m sorry _Emperor Varis zos Galvus._ “she added, a hint of bitterness tingeing the sarcastic way she said his name. “Don’t have to actually know him to know I hate him. I feel like he could have managed. As much as I dislike admitting it, the Imperials have access to technology far beyond the rest of Eorzea, it’s at least plausible.”

She traced the edge of her cup now, staring into the brightly colored juice in a way that almost seemed accusing, hateful. Her hand clenched tightly around it after a moment, tipping her head back as she finished it. The urge to destroy something in a fit of anger was strong, and yet, the knowledge that such an outburst was completely unacceptable for someone like her held her back.

“All fine thoughts, sure, but why here? What reasoning would they have for tearing a hole in the sky that leads here?” he asked, though it seemed more to himself than anything else.

“Urianger has been studying the alignment. I could be way off here, but is it not at least slightly possible this world perfectly aligned with ours until the tear opened? Could that have been the catalyst? Twelve, the power it must have required to accomplish such a feat…” she started. Eyes widening, she stood once more, planting her hands flat on the desk, almost knocking her bow off as she did. “I think that’s it! The Ascians always pull the strings from the shadows. Minfi— “she stopped, choking on the name. “Minfilia said Zodiark was growing in power as her own faded. What if the Garleans had the technology, but not the power? You know very well they would be willing to bargain. To what end, I can’t say, but that not only explains how they could tear through the fabric between worlds, but also why they knew to find me here.”

Alphinaud’s eyes widened, standing also, thumping his forehead as if it had been so painfully obvious now that it had been said. “Of course. To interfere like that, masterminding from the shadows… Perhaps they thought you would take the bait, and be out of their way. When you returned, they must have realized you weren’t as taken care of as they thought. No one noticed the Garlean forces here until well after the castrum was built, they had to have been crossing over since… Gods preserve me… since very nearly the beginning of everything… this is bad…” he sighed, balling a hand in his hair.  “Garleans are one thing, but they would know that will only stop you for so long… we both know something far worse that could cause a bit more trouble…”

Her stomach dropped at the insinuation. Three things crossed her mind at the same time, three very, very bad things. Omega Weapon, last seen in Carteneau, and hopefully still there, Nidhogg and his brood, plotting vengeance on Ishgard, thousands strong, if they crossed over, it would take so much more than a miracle to stop. Lastly, the thought that they were merely waiting until the last of Hydaelyn’s light guttered out, plotting to summon their God here. How likely that was, considering the thread issued in her sleep, was uncertain, the feeling she got much like they intended to use her form to some end, and what good it might do them towards the end goal of summoning a god, also a mystery. The smart thing to do would be to enlist the aid of the Grand Companies, of Aymeric and his Temple Knights, and yet that didn’t feel possible either. The Dragonsong War was about to renew with interest, and the Companies had enough to handle stamping out beast tribe threats to make certain they couldn’t summon their own gods. She glanced across the room to him, shaking her head.

“I have a task for you. You have a way with words that I lack, I need you to speak with Alliance, at least ask if they would be willing to aid in the event it is needed. If not…” she paused, unsure when the idea to invoke a force unrelated to her had occurred, though she suspected it was most likely so much time around Cullen that had caused it to slip. “Maker help us all.”

“I’ll take care of it. Don’t lose hope yet, even if they refuse, you’re surrounded by people who would lay down their lives to see you to victory, you are not alone, never alone.” He told her, bowing slightly as he took his leave.

The moment he was safely out of sight, certain he wouldn’t hear, that no one would hear, she slammed her fist against the desk, shouting angrily to no one in particular, the need to release that pent up rage was imperative. Nowhere was safe, no way to shield anyone from the storm that was brewing. The only way to stem the pending flood would be to bring the fight to them. There was no way that she had enough energy to face more than one Ascian at once, and after the one time she had managed to kill _one_ , they would certainly be wary of facing her alone. Problems adding to problems at every turn. Sighing, she closed her eyes, engaging herself in conversation.

“If I’m to do this, I _need_ you to cooperate with me. I didn’t defeat you for nothing, I have the control and you have the power. If we could only work together… don’t you realize what we could accomplish?” she whispered.

**_You have me at quite the disadvantage, don’t you? You could send me away at any time, sever all ties in a simple gesture. Just this once, I’m listening…” the voice of Esteem echoed through her mind._ **

Truly, it was a risk still, but she had a point. If things went ass up again, she vowed to forget it, to never again use that power. To draw out an Ascian required a feat of great physical strength, but once it was lured out, a quick switch to something with enough magic power to activate the Auracite was the problem. If even one step went awry, it could very well spell the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Clarifying some terms: 
> 
> Castrum: basically the equivalent of a military base, highly defensible, filled with many, many Garlean soldiers.   
> Garlean: Imperials from Garlemald.   
> Ysayle: The actual name of Iceheart/Shiva (Not actually Saint Shiva)  
> Auracite: A white crystal that is, so far, the only proven means to kill an Ascian  
> Ascian: A being that is otherwise known to be immortal, with only one absolute method to prevent them from reincarnating.   
> Hydaelyn: The Mothercrystal, the source of Yuuki (Warrior of Light)'s inherent power, the Echo, and protection from both possession and tempering, which is to say, becoming the thrall of any God. (In the case of FFXIV, the only way to deal with someone who has been tempered is often to kill them, as there is no known cure.)


	73. Taking Shape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The group assembles in the War Room to establish a plan. Knowing they need time to prepare, Cullen has a request for the Inquisitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to get strange enough soon, better to enjoy a little fluff while they can.

Cullen glanced around the room, displeased that so many new people had been invited to join them. Morrigan had long since fled, and in her place, Cid, Alphinaud, Thancred and Kaien stood around the table. Yuuki stood stiffly, hip pressed to the edge of the table, pointing to a marker on the table.

“Leliana’s report suggests my initial plan of cutting through to the highest ranked person won’t work. There’s too much opposition. To draw out an Ascian, I _need_ to cause a large disruption. If I know anything about castrum construction, the walls are certainly going to be made of cermet, siege equipment won’t even scratch. Cid’s team is already working to develop a plan to break through. I meant to bring anyone capable of fighting to carve a path, unfortunately, I already know the best method…” she offered by way of a briefing.

Thancred gestured to Leliana, then to Yuuki, taking over from there. “I’m told you don’t often leave, Nightingale. For this, we need you as well. The three of us will infiltrate while Cid and a small team work out a suitable distraction. Inside, we’ll part ways to buy Yuuki the time she needs to eliminate the target. We have no idea how long it will take to lure out our prey, but, since we’ll need to work our way back out, Kaien and a small team will be waiting, keeping it busy until we can help. Yuuki will destroy it with the Auracite, wait a bit and see if any others feel brave. Assuming they won’t which is what we anticipate, then we’ll return and plot our next move.”

Alphinaud spoke next, staring down at the markers. “Myself and a handful of others will keep watch on the walls here, ready to speak up at the first sign of trouble. Those who stay behind may also need to fight, but it’s no guarantee.”

Cullen saw the look on her face, a mixture of sadness, pain and determination, intently focused on the map as though mentally trying to blow that spot into oblivion. She turned and left without a word, her steps quick and lacking hesitation. Excusing himself, he followed her, the door closing behind him, reaching for her, bringing her back to him. Sweeping the hair from her face, he cupped her cheek, watching her expression soften a little.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked, his eyes narrowed as though trying to read her thoughts.

“I’m afraid…of dying, of losing you, I fear for the children. Everything about this makes me afraid, in ways I’ve never known. I’m not suggesting this is the first time, I’m just saying it’s so rare that I don’t know how to deal with it.” She admitted, the words like a bitter medicine.

He slid his arms around her, holding her tightly in that warm, safe way. “None of that will happen. I won’t let it, you have my word…”

“How would you stop it?” she asked helplessly.

“Whatever it takes. I did it once before, if I must, I’ll do it again. I _will not_ lose _you…_ ” he swore.

Yuuki believed his words, the conviction behind them more than enough to sway her, though she was glad that he would be out of harm’s way. His girl was like no other, she was special, and it had nothing to do with her blessings or the mark, Herald or not, nothing external mattered. Kind almost to a fault, patient, sweet, he could easily list a hundred things that he loved about her, a hundred reasons to protect her however he had to. Her mind went somewhere that he couldn’t identify, her nose wrinkling in disgust, and he knew the reason.

“I can’t believe it slipped my mind. Are you sure you can handle sneaking back into a place you hate so much?” he asked.

“I don’t have much of a choice. Not enough people coming with to take the castrum by force, and there would be heavy casualties with that method. If I go in under cover, I can pull this off, trust me, I’ll manage to separate one thing from the other.” She told him.

He was pleased that she had thought that far ahead. So far she had kept her word, focused more on the whole picture and not simply relying on a hastily made decision based on what she felt was the most expedient or what was easiest, but what was best for everyone involved. It would take time to make all the preparations needed prior to leaving, and while it was selfish, he was glad, time he could spend forgetting that she had to go at all. He nervously reached to rush a hand through his lengthened locks, planting a kiss on her head.

“What would you say if I asked for one night. Just one night, no Inquisition, you, me, and the kids?” he sighed quietly.

Yuuki looked up to him, fixated on the gentle gaze he favored her with. Smiling brightly, she tilted her head. “I’d say that sounds like a fine idea.”

He lifted her slightly off the floor, spinning her once, pleased at her acceptance. Things had been tense enough for a while, and any time stolen with her was time well spent, in his mind.

“I’ll think of something to do. In the meantime, I’ll make sure to childproof the yard…” he sighed, thinking of a dozen things he needed to do before he could let them play outside.

Yuuki chuckled a little at the idea of him running around, ordering his men to go elsewhere for training, pestering Josephine to employ her diplomacy for toys and clothes, blocking off the forge, asking Bull to wrangle bar patrons who got out of line, among other things in her mind. She couldn’t avoid a sick feeling washing over her, concerned that if one step went wrong with this mission, she might never see them again, her brow wrinkling for a moment. Cullen pressed a kiss to her forehead, shaking his head.

“You’re far too young to make a face like that.” He teased.

She puffed her cheeks out at this, poised to argue that point until he silenced her with another quick, gentle kiss. Somehow, he had made her forget that fast, what she was even upset about.


	74. Dreams of Better Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not great with fluff, but I thought maybe this was alright. Might pull it or maybe leave it, I don't know.

Standing in the entryway to the main hall, she observed him silently, snickering to herself as he barked orders, not the usual kind.

“I want someone watching this door at all times, that’s too dangerous.” He said, turning to another soldier. “You, figure something out for the slippery patches.”

Yuuki pressed a hand over her mouth to hide how amused she was. It was sweet to see him obsessing over the details, frowning a little at the thought, when it hit her finally. She loved children, but growing up the way she had to meant she hadn’t had many special moments that stood out. Her father was fair, but distant, and her mother was kind and gentle, but busy with family responsibilities. Kaien was rough around the edges, and strict, but he had been the one to give in to her the most. Some part of him felt guilty about being so hard on her, always small and frail looking, she imagined he never thought she would make it. That she was one of the only survivors of that destruction was a miracle, and to live through years of rough treatment, and come this far was something far beyond that.

Lost in her thoughts, she didn’t notice him approaching, standing proudly in front of her, a hand reaching out to her. Yuuki jumped slightly, startled by the unexpected contact.

“I think that’s everything.” He stated, reassessing everything in his mind, making sure he had seen to everything. “What about your bag, is that put away?” he asked, thinking primarily of the weapons in it.

She nodded, unable to hold back a soft chuckle. “Yes, dearest, I locked it in my desk this morning.”

He gestured back down the hall. “Do you think they’re awake yet?” he asked.

Giving it some thought, she nodded again. “Should be, Kimi doesn’t sleep long these days. Haurchefant, on the other hand…” she sighed. “He sleeps when it suits his whims, not a moment sooner.”

Cullen swept his thumb across her cheek, taking note of the barely visible dark circles forming under her eyes. Signs that even with everything she had to deal with, she still made time to get up with him. Strange how he hadn’t noticed until now, he had been sleeping fine, undisturbed, usually the one to let her rest.

“You…didn’t wake me for it?” he asked curiously.

“I…know you have troubles with bad dreams, so when you have an easy night, I would rather not disturb you.” She admitted.

“You do so much; it isn’t right for you to have to get out of bed every time.” He gently scolded.  

Yuuki quietly opened the door, taking her time on the steps to cut down on noise, in case they hadn’t awoken yet. Cullen followed her path, a pair of amber eyes staring at him across the room, the girl hastily crawling out of the small bed, wobbling towards him, arms outstretched, her hands making grabbing motions.

“Oto, up!” she chanted.

Bending low, he carefully picked her up, little arms curling around his neck. The sound was more than enough to irritate her brother, a loud whine indicating he was near crying. She quickly crossed the room, scooping him up, rocking him gently to quiet him down. Her focus shifting back to him, she tipped her head curiously.

“So, did we have anything decided or are we letting things unfold how they will?” she questioned.

Cullen grinned, pleased with himself, but saying nothing at first, going back down the steps. At the door, he glanced back. “I had a few thoughts, you’ll just have to wait and see.”

He led the way back out to the yard, gesturing to a spot that seemed dry and considerably less dirty than the rest of the yard. Sitting down slowly, protectively cradling their son, adjusting the blanket so the wind wouldn’t get to him, blushing a little when she noticed Cullen was watching her.

“What?” she asked nervously.

“Nothing.” He said, though he didn’t look away.

Far too embarrassing to explain that he couldn’t be happier like this. He hadn’t ever imagined any of this would be a part of his life, and now that she was in his world, he couldn’t picture life without them. In the background of everything, a war, the Breach dealt with, they _should_ have been able to quietly move on, retiring maybe to a small home in the country, or even to her home in the forest. Instead, the ever increasing danger rising all around them, both worlds in peril, her life was still at risk. Kimiko crawled away from him, busying herself with exploring the small area around them, examining the grass and the stairs, curiously poking and prodding everything.

“Are you alright?” he asked, concerned that she seemed to have lost herself again.

“I’m fine. I’ve been thinking about my family today. Part of me wishes I could adhere to tradition with them, but they’re happy, right? Is it wrong of me to want that, to want them to know their history, to be proud of that?” she sighed.

“It isn’t wrong. I don’t think so anyway. That’s not all though, is it?” he questioned, listening attentively.

“No. I…also like things just like this. They’re doing more already than I remember doing, even like this, they’re free, and I’d bet all my gil that they’re safer here than anywhere else. They have a chance to have what I didn’t have the chance to, and to do what they choose, not what I impress upon them.” She explained quietly.

“You’ve never spoken of your life that way. I always got the impression you were happy and got along well with your family before…” he stopped, not wanting to make her remember those things.

“I was. I just wonder if it would have stayed that way had things not gone as they did.” She paused, tipping her head back against the stone behind her, thinking it over. “I want to know what you want. Let’s assume everything works out fine, ignore what I might want. What do _you_ want?”

He took a deep breath, shrugging nervously. “I…want to be with you, of course. I don’t care where we live, not really. Somewhere quiet, where we can think of less life-threatening things to do with our time. Maybe eventually…” he shook his head, concerned about what she might think if he continued on with this.

“Eventually what, dear?” she pressed, interested in what he had to say.

“Oto, look!” Kimi called to him, tugging his sleeve.

Cullen turned to look at her, her hand outstretched, holding a single flower she had managed to find growing somehow. He accepted it, ruffling her short hair lightly, smiling. “Thank you, princess.” He praised, gently hugging her before she once more wobbled off again.

“I thought…well…I told you I have two sisters and a brother, and you said you had two brothers and a sister…” he began again.

Yuuki looked away for a moment. “True, but that’s just with my father. My mother had another child, out of obligation, but I don’t remember much about that, I can’t say anything about it beyond her love for my father. It was…improper to display affection so publicly as the figurehead of the family, but she didn’t care. He meant that much to her….”

“Yes, well… I mean… after everything is said and done…how do you feel about…having another child?” he asked guiltily.

He didn’t want to seem like he was trying to pressure her, but as long as they were entertaining the subject of what to do after things were finished, it couldn’t hurt to ask. Though he expected some hesitation, she reached for his hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

“When this is over, I…think I’d like that.” She admitted.

The idea of being a mother had initially bothered her, the reason and necessity behind Kimiko’s conception had left her with strong guilt for a long time before she finally let it go. Now, it had changed for her, a thing she was discovering she enjoyed, her only regret being the danger they were born into.

Kimi once more called for their attention, pointing towards the stables. “Ma…”

Cullen gestured to her. “I think that’s for you.” He said.

Yuuki shook her head, pointing in the same direction. “Ma. She wants to see the horses.” She told him. “ma is likely short for ‘uma’, horse.” She sighed.

Moving to stand, he gently grabbed her hand, helping her up, bending to pick her up once more. “Shall we go see them then?” he asked her.


	75. Träumend - Dreaming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki readies her preparation, eager to depart at the first sign.

Yuuki seemed lost in thought, leaned over the stone railing in the garden. She had been trying very hard to get into just the right mindset to tune out her objections and recapture who she was as a soldier, very nearly there, when a light touch brushed against her shoulder. Turning to see who it was, the pop of crimson against black was unexpected, dark eyes peering through spaces in the rounded helmet. Her heart pounded against her chest, failing for the first time in quite a while to register the ashen blonde locks, her fist curled loosely as she swung, hitting him in the chin.

“You won’t get me again; I know your tactics…” she growled angrily.

“Yuu, it’s only me, I’m not here to hurt you. Damned if you didn’t get me good…” Thancred mumbled, tilting his head up. “Am I bleeding?”

She eyed him with suspicion, though she shook her head, taking a deep breath, her hand resting on her chest as though it had some control over the pace of her heart. “I’m sorry.”

“No need for that, I know how hard this is for you. Just keep in mind who it was who carried you out of that mess.” He sighed. “Do you remember the salute?”

Guided only by instinct, her arm came up and across her chest, taking a step in place as she did. Her stomach tightened into knots, and for a moment, she feared she would be sick over it, though she pushed the feeling aside. The success of this mission depending on her ability to blend in, and she swore she could do it. Going back on that because it made her angry, made her nauseous and a million other inexplicable things all at once was no option in her mind.

“Good, good. I know you don’t want to hear this from me, especially not about this, but…I am proud of you.” He told her, refraining from the usual friendly touch he might have given her.

Thancred sighed again, heavier this time, handing her a plain package, and she knew without asking exactly what it was, what it surely must be. Her hand shook as she reached for it, gritting her teeth as she grabbed it from him, stalking off towards her room to change. She promised once that she would never again wear it, but Nymeia had a strange sense of humor. This would be the second time since she had made that vow that she would break it out of necessity, and, Twelve willing, it would be the very last time. Slamming the door behind her, she busied herself undressing to her smalls, frowning as she unwrapped the paper, holding her breath as she slipped the jacket on, her hands clumsily buttoning the front, tugging the gloves on with visible disgust, bending to pull up her trousers, her tail pushing through, stepping into the boots. Lastly, the finishing touch, that horrid helmet that made the entire ensemble dastardlier somehow. She turned to face the mirror, her lip curling at the sight of herself, fighting the urge to smash it to bits in her anger.

“It’s almost time. Are you ready?” she asked no one in particular.

 **“Always.”** The voice echoed in her mind.

“Remember. Not until I say. Do nothing until I say so, this has to go off without a hitch.” She said, verging on a lecture.

**“Yeah, yeah. I get it. Be a good girl until you say. Admit it, you don’t want to have to wait. You want to run in there, and kill anything that moves, don’t you?” she teased gleefully.**

“You don’t need to ask. You’re a part of me, and you know the answer. I will not admit to such a thing.” She huffed indignantly.

Yuuki would have given anything not to be seen like this, and yet, it had to happen. That wasn’t the thing that weighed most on her mind at that particular moment. In her rush to contain her feelings, to lock them away, she hadn’t noticed it, but that same sick feeling she got when something wasn’t right hadn’t even faded slightly. Even though she knew the Garleans and the Ascians were here, even knowing this was the plan, something still wasn’t as it should be, though she still couldn’t pinpoint the source.

**“Do I have to beg you? One small thing, tiny, you’ll never notice, I need to release this tension, just a little thing, I swear.” Esteem begged incessantly.**

“I know how you work. If I agree, someone will get hurt.” She thought.

**“I won’t kill anyone. Not until you say I can. I swore to cooperate this time, but if you want me to work with you, you have to work with me…” Esteem urged.**

It was a fair enough point, but there was nothing that sprang to mind. She had to get to the yard, but at the same time, that nagging feeling was making her curious, and she wanted a good vantage point. For that reason, she diverted her course towards the battlements when she reached the yard. Alphinaud ran up to her, almost distressed, and for a split second, she thought for sure she had nailed the source, a triumphant grin on her face.

“Yuuki…there’s a woman who wanted a word with you, and I told her it wasn’t a good time, considering…” his voice lowered. “I know how you feel right now, and I tried to help, but she wants to speak to you personally…”

The sound of her teeth grinding was audible, her jaw moving back and forth irritably. She pushed him aside, her steps heavy as she approached, Vivienne looking livid, her dress stained as she stood there.

“Ahh, _Inquisitor._ ” She began. “I wanted to speak to you regarding the bill I insist you pay.”

“Bill? For what?” she huffed.

“Your little _monsters_ have ruined my _entire_ wardrobe. _Someone_ hasn’t been watching them very closely.” She elaborated.

She frowned deeply, her skin flushing with heat as she worked to control herself. “I’m sorry, but what did you call them?”

“Monsters. You heard me. Both of them are little terrors.” She repeated.

Despite the difference in height, she stood so close they very nearly touched, staring up at her. Her control lapsed for only an instant, long enough for Esteem to take control.

**_“I’ve got this…” she hissed out._ **

Her voice was distorted as it spilled out, her hand curling in the fabric at the back of her gown, hoisting her with ease, leaning over the edge, her gaze fixed on the guards at the gate.

**_“Boys, catch!” she shouted._ **

The guards looked up just in time to see her figure falling towards them, managing to catch her before she landed, though the mountain of snow probably would have cushioned her fall.

“What was that for, I was angry, but that was a little…extreme.” Yuuki thought.

**“Hello. Dark Knight, remember? I kill those who are corrupt and protect the innocent. Kind of in the job description. But…also, I was bored anyway…” Esteem defended quietly.**

Flicking a wave to Alphinaud, she jumped off the edge, the other guard frowning as he moved to catch her, setting her down. Esteem relinquished control without an argument, walking towards the gathered group, all staring out the gate, though they quickly gathered themselves for inspection. Cullen stood at the front, a questioning look on his face as if wondering what that had been about. He wasn’t supposed to know about her plan as far as using Esteem against his wishes went, trying to defend herself convincingly, her tail barely pinched between her thighs to still it.

“She insulted the children. I wouldn’t tolerate it. If that was all, can we get to business, please. I don’t wish to be in this a moment longer than necessary. _Someone tell me something._ ” she insisted.

Kaien cleared his throat, taking a step forward. “Thancred managed to get the Nightingale her uniform, and it took far less time to teach her what she needs to know than we anticipated. With you, the spy team is ready, and the combat force is ready at your signal. Cid is putting the finishing touches on a device he believes will weaken the Cermet enough to be broken down by normal means. In short, we are very nearly ready to depart, Empress.”

Yuuki’s brows drew tightly together at the term, but she let it go. Scanning the group, Urianger stepped forward next, a pleased smile on his face, the kind he usually had when he figured something out.

“Before you set out too eagerly, I have good news for you, finally. My research has paid off in spades, and not all of it is bad news, I think you’ll be interested.” He told her.

“Wonderful to hear. I should enjoy hearing the results of your discovery.” She said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The part with Vivienne actually came from a discussion involving the Emperor's New Groove. 
> 
> Viv just threw off her groove is all.


	76. Best Served Hot

Leliana glanced towards Thancred, shrugging. Neither actually knew what to say to get in, looking to Yuuki who stood tall, taking a deep breath. Thancred placed a hand on her lower back, trying to provoke her to action while also being comforting. She pressed the button embedded in the wall, waiting for the static to signal that someone was listening.

“Recon squad, reporting in.” she said.

No hint of wavering, almost cold in her words, unfeeling in a way that was absolutely unlike her. The door slid open, and the three slid in, Yuuki gesturing to Thancred first, waving him one way, and Leliana the other, no exchange of words, in case anyone suspected anything. Parting ways, she tilted her head to the sides, a loud crack as she did, striding down the center path as though she belonged there, nothing out of place in the confidence she had mustered. Her mind was on anything but the mission, no matter how it looked, Urianger’s results weighing heavily in her thoughts.

_“The findings point to it being that these worlds once existed together, I believe it was the Calamity which disrupted the connection between worlds. Worry not, it may yet undo itself if another event of such a magnitude were to occur.”_

She had no doubt it wouldn’t take long for such a thing to happen; it was always only a matter of time before the tentative peace was shattered by any of the challenges facing her world. Nidhogg threatened to appear at any moment, and an event on the scale of the war a thousand years past certainly seemed to qualify as nearly cataclysmic. The thing most present was the Ascian threat, that could incite an incident as well, but only if they returned to Eorzea, something that would never take place as long as she was in this world.

“I asked you a question, grunt.” A man’s voice called.

She hadn’t been paying attention, and now, she had no choice but to really try and rectify the mistake. Yuuki hurriedly saluted the man, resisting the urge to reach for her blade.

“I apologize; I didn’t catch the question.” She stated.

“I _asked_ if anything happened on the scouting mission?” he repeated.

“No, no sign of suspicious activity at all.” She lied.

The actual recon team had been woefully unprepared for the trio, falling quickly, without a struggle. Thankfully, he questioned it no further, letting her press further into the castrum, stifling the need for air at that moment. In times before, failing to answer a superior meant spending a few days in isolation, possibly corporal punishment if said superior was in a foul mood. She kept her eyes out for anything that seemed useful, instinctively looking for a place that looked thin or weaker than the rest of the walls, something to report to the next team. By the time she reached the back area, where much of the training took place, she had found several possibilities, Leliana signaling to her off to the side, she casually wandered over to meet with her.

“I overheard. The man in charge is going to arrive very shortly, they suspect an ambush so they’re dropping him into the cargo bay.” She whispered.

“That’s not all. Seems like they dug deep and found someone you know. Aelianus van Carius. Sound familiar?” Thancred added.

Her blood felt like it had both turned to ice and boiled in the same instant. Her hands tensed and flexed, clenching into fists and loosening slowly.

“Ahh, well I look forward to greeting the Legatus personally.” She said quietly.

Thancred reached for her wrist, frowning slightly. “Don’t do anything until the signal, you know that, don’t you? Don’t let your thirst for revenge jeopardize the mission, we have to wait…”

Yuuki pulled her hand free, turning away then, her eyes narrowed angrily. “I’m no fool, I won’t screw it up.”

A glance was enough to show that some had begun to leave, a sure sign that he had arrived. Waving them along, they followed the group to the cargo bay, surprised that none had thought to question why the recon squad was going. For the time being, they stood to the middle of the group, her attention focused on the skies, waiting for a sign that they were close enough for her to do her job, shifting to the sides almost anxiously. She paused, counting the number of soldiers, counting the Legatus, of course, a small enough number that it wouldn’t be too much of a challenge, tear through them, the special weapon goes off, the rest come in, thin out the numbers until the combat forces arrived. At that point, with luck, an Ascian would show, and she would use an overwhelming show of magic, power the Auracite, kill it, and then she’d be spent, enough energy for a hasty retreat to plan how to draw the rest out. Sounded straightforward enough, nothing she anticipated would go wrong.

“They’re waiting to hear where to go…” Leliana said, barely a whisper.

Yuuki lightly pressed her finger to her Linkpearl, her voice low. “East wall looks the weakest…”

Moments later, they looked up, a small glint catching their attention. Saying nothing, they moved closer to the front, ready to strike the minute the blast tore through. The sound was unlike anything she had ever heard, a loud, roaring explosion, the wall collapsing like wet parchment where it hit, a team breaking through, confusion erupting all around, the sign she had been waiting for. Her hand clenched the hilt of her sword, relinquishing her hold on Esteem, she slowly strode towards the platform, a broad smile on her face. Stepping up, her hand snaked out, gripping the back of his armor, tossing him to the ground. Standing over him, she tipped her head, a strangely triumphant feeling warming her from the inside out.

“Aelianus…” she bent down, the blade pressed flatly against his chest, keeping him pinned to the stage. “van…Carius…How long has it been? Do you even remember these eyes? Ever think about what you’ve done?” she purred, now kneeling over him, her hand sliding into his messy brunette hair, slamming his head down when he tried to lift it. “You’ve been such a naughty boy; you need to be punished…”

 Conflict, that was this feeling. Torn between drawing it out to exact her vengeance, or make quick work of them so she could ensure the plan would go as it should. The mission must always come first, she thought, jerking his head back forcibly, the massive blade creeping higher towards his throat, digging in, but not yet cutting.

“Show me just how shocked you are; I want to remember that look…” she instructed.

His hand clumsily came up, peeling away the helmet she wore, his eyes widening almost fearfully. “I know you…that little brat who couldn’t help but make trouble…” he croaked out.

“That’s me…” she confirmed, swiping the blade so hard across his throat his head rolled away from his body, blood spraying and pooling all around.

Yuuki stood up, turning to leave, though she stopped, glancing down. Stooping low once more, she grabbed it, tucking it under her arm, whistling as she walked towards the gaping hole in the wall, leaping out to join the rest of the forces. Cid approached to greet her, though he stopped, his eyes drawn to the head she held, sighing to himself.

“Guess I don’t need to ask how it went. Guessing the rest scattered too?” he asked.

“Oh yeah. Went off, everyone panicked and cleared out. Awfully kind of them to leave me alone…” she said with a smile.

“I wish I knew where you ended and Esteem began right now. So hard to tell how much you enjoyed that.” He groaned, moving for her to join the others at the front. “You have a date with an Ascian, don’t you?”


	77. The Missing Piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuuki asked for an Ascian, and she got one. Does she have what it takes to finish the mission?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Violence Warning  
> *Mild blood and gore warning

Cid looked to her, it had already been a fair amount of time with no sign of an Ascian appearing any time soon. As if knowing exactly what he meant, she shifted her stance, leaned against her sword, red eyes flicking around, trying to find any sign that one might show. 

 

“What’s the matter, Lahabrea? Afraid to face me now?” she shouted towards the skies. 

 

No answer, but she hadn’t really expected him to say anything back. If anything, she thought he might try a repeat of last time and show up in her blind spot, but even that didn’t happen. Tucking her hand under the gap in her armor, her fingers brushed against the auracite, ready in case of an ambush. This had to work, after such careful planning and all the preparations, she wasn’t content to just go home with nothing to show for all that they had done. 

 

“I don’t think it’s working, Yuu. Come on...let’s head back…” he sighed. 

 

He didn’t like to see that look of disappointment on her face, the look that said she let everyone down, even though he was certain no one actually felt that way. Reluctantly, she turned away, following the trail of people back the way they came. She shook her head, cursing under her breath, the blade of her sword dragging against the ground. 

 

“What’s this? I thought you wanted to face an Ascian. I bother to show, and you leave?” a voice called. 

 

Yuuki tensed, a tingle racing up her spine. This was not the voice of Lahabrea, it was unfamiliar, but held the same qualities that raised the hairs on the back of her neck. Turning quickly, she raised her blade, just in time to deflect a sudden attack. Not good, this one was fast, faster than she expected, and if she couldn’t keep him away long enough to switch to her mage, she wouldn’t have enough power to use the auracite, this would all be for nothing. He pushed the attack too strong, forcing her to use both hands to keep her blade steady. Cid looked through the gathered forces, frowning. 

 

“Thancred, get in there and help her!” he called, his eyes falling on him. 

 

Thancred broke away from the group, rushing to her side, daggers in hand, trying to hit from his back, to call his attention away long enough for her to change and strike, the unknown Ascian deflecting him with only a light strike. Her hand began to flicker, pain surging through it, pushed back from the lapse in focus. The glow drew his attention, a well aimed attack making her drop her blade, his hand gripping her wrist so tightly it left reddening marks on her skin, lifting her up to get a better look, her struggling only mildly inconvenient, kicking and flailing doing nothing to make him drop her. 

 

“This is it? The hand that can tear the sky?” he mused, pausing to deflect Thancred’s approach once more. 

 

Ascians were never meant to be faced with a blade, let alone without a weapon, she knew this, more dangerous than she could have anticipated, and for once, she felt it, true fear, unshakeable, her struggle less to destroy him and more to simply get away. Even Esteem, always confident and relishing in combat, twisted in her being as they were then, had no quips, no challenges for this enemy. 

 

“Don’t struggle unless you like the pain, dear. It will only hurt worse than what I have planned…” he cackled. 

 

It was a chilling voice, the one blessing being that this one wasn’t wearing Thancred’s form for its own this time, no one to save but herself for once. 

“Let me go!” she hissed, spitting at him. 

 

He frowned, his free hand reaching up, clenching around her fingers, bending them back with a solid, agonizing crunch, that, combined with the surging energy in her palm was too hard to bear, unable to hold back the desperate wail from escaping against her will. 

 

“You seem awfully  _ attached _ to this hand. You’ve caused us trouble in spades, I believe it’s time to pay you back. We’ve been observing, and I believe I know just how to make you miserable.” he hummed. 

 

Twisting her hand, she felt her wrist snap, like it were a twig caught under a heavy step. Another wave of agony, her head dropping to hide the tears streaking down her face. Everything in her wanted to be strong, to play it off like it was nothing, hold back the screams and the tears if only to prove she was tough, as she was expected to be, that he could do nothing to hurt her, but it was laid bare for all to see. He held her higher, as though showing her like a beast he had hunted, his hand coming back again, glowing an angry red, the sheer power in it pulling away flesh from bone, her vision blurring as she dropped from his grip, shaking hand reaching to grip her blade tightly, some vain hope left in her of destroying him still, her consciousness fading away, barely registering the bloody, mangled stump where her hand was only moments ago. 

 

Thancred moved quickly, sheathing his daggers in favor of grabbing her up, one last means of protection, her body falling limp. 

 

‘ _ Out cold…’ he thought grimly.  _

 

“I’m not done with her yet.” The Ascian gloated. “The Warrior of Light needs a little more suffering.” 

 

Thancred clutched her tightly, prepared to resist with all he had, unflinching at the approach, the robed figures steps causing him to back up, trying to maintain a shred of ground between them in case he had to act quickly. He reached out, pushing him back forcefully, the portal swallowing them away. Cid moved to try and stop him, a wave of magic destroying the portal before their eyes. Turning to face them, he held up the hand, shaking it as though waving goodbye.

 

“Too bad. Looks like she’s never coming back.” he said, smirking widely. “I’ll see you again.” 

 

Vanishing as quickly as he appeared, the stunned group had not yet recovered, Cid shaking his head, searching the rubble. Without the mark, she could make no rift to try and return, and the collapsed portal left no other way. Grimacing, he gathered the few intact pieces he could find, he had said it before, technology was his thing, Yuuki had never given up on him, and he would do the same. He wasn’t sure if he could pull it off, but if there was any hope of building a new one, he was damn well going to try.  The one thing he  _ was  _  sure of at that moment was that she would be safe with Thancred keeping an eye on her, and she wasn’t the type to give up so easily.


	78. An Unfortunate Metamorphosis

The return to Skyhold was a somber one, an event no one was looking forward to. Those left behind gathered quickly in the hopes of welcoming the victorious group behind, the varying degrees of shocked, saddened and tense faces killing the mood in mere seconds. Alphinaud scanned the crowd, the absence of Yuuki and Thancred noticed almost immediately, going up to Cid, he stood in his way, fidgeting nervously. 

 

“Cid, where is she? Please tell me she’s with you…” he urged. 

 

He slowly shook his head, unable to put it to words for a short time, still not quite believing it himself. When he did speak, he was unusually quiet, working to steady his voice. “She’s gone. Things...went wrong. The Ascian bested her, and I believe she’s trapped in our world.” 

 

“Gods, how could this happen? That...that can’t be possible.” he mumbled. 

 

He had been holding hope that he would crack a smile, say ‘Only joking!’ and move aside to reveal she had been hiding somewhere. When that didn’t happen, he felt his stomach drop, glancing across the yard with a frown, knowing that at least three people were about to be far more upset by the news than anyone. He couldn’t be the one to tell them, couldn’t destroy the vague hope that she would manage a miraculous return, like she always had before. Cid glanced at the pieces he held, heaving a sigh as he made his way to the workshop she had set up for them, preparing mentally and emotionally for the task of trying to focus enough to figure out what he had managed to salvage and what else it might take to make it work again. 

 

\----

Yuuki sat up, blinking slowly to make her eyes adjust to the dim light. She couldn’t think straight, unsure where she was, or what had happened, only that she hurt, badly. Thancred glanced out the window, turning his attention to her when he heard the sounds of her moving. 

 

“Best not to get up just yet. How are you feeling?” he asked, though he was sure the answer was probably ‘like the seventh hell swallowed me and spat me out.’

 

Yuuki blinked once more, unsure if she was imagining him standing there or if she actually was even awake. “I hurt, but I don’t know why. I --” her words cut short as she looked down finally. 

 

She was wearing a clean blouse, the sleeve folded over at the end, tinged with blood. Hesitantly, she reached to loosen it, pulling it back, greeted once more by the stub where her hand used to be, she bit her lip firmly, forcing herself to hold back the shriek threatening to ring out. She couldn’t quite recall what had happened, vague memories of encountering an Ascian the only remnant left. Before, she could remember just fine, they had stormed the castrum, and she had killed the Legatus, but after the initial encounter, there was a blank. She slowly turned her arm, not quite believing it could really be gone, it didn’t seem possible. 

 

“I’m sorry, I brought you back to your house so I could tend to it. I did what I could with what I have, but that isn’t much. I’ve been waiting for a healer to arrive. Sent for one about an hour ago, something must be happening to delay this long.” he sighed. 

 

The mark gone, it wasn’t an option for getting back. Certainly, Thancred was just waiting for her to be patched up before they’d head back out to return. She struggled, pushing herself to stand with her good arm, rummaging through her things, hunting down a bottle of wine, a good vintage that she used for cooking normally, the one thing she could think of that would both dull the pain and help her cope with it for now. Propping it tightly between her knees, she gripped the cork, yanking it out. Like hell she was asking for any help, she could figure it out on her own, she didn’t need to rely on someone else to do it for her. Her hand was shaking, deciding to forego the glass, she curled back up, tipping it back, setting it against her leg while she thought it over. There was a knock at the door, Thancred leaving the room to answer it. Not much left in the bottle to begin with, she finished it off quickly, setting the empty bottle on the stand. He returned with the healer, a thought she was glad for, ready to be fixed up so they could leave once more. The mage approached with a smile until she saw her arm, unable to hide her shock. 

 

“Twelve preserve me, Lady Homura, your hand is…” she began, falling silent. 

 

Clearly, she knew it was gone, that was why the man sent for her. Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, she hesitated, unsure if it was acceptable to touch her without saying anything about it. Taking the chance, she gently drew her arm towards her, a pulse of soothing energy enveloping it, and she had to admit, it felt good, much better than the burning, almost unbearable pain that had been there before. Once it had mended, she rifled through a pouch she held, quickly making some manner of purple concoction for her. 

 

“Alright, now it will still hurt when the spell wears off, but you shouldn’t have to worry about it reopening. When it starts to hurt, take a little of this, and it should relieve it for awhile. There’s enough here for a few days, if you have need of more, please don’t hesitate to call me again. It has been an honor, Lady Homura!” she instructed, shuffling out. 

 

Setting it on the stand, she was ready to forget about it, moving to sit up properly. “Give me a few minutes to make sure I have everything and I’ll be ready to go.” 

 

Thancred couldn’t look her in the eyes, not now. “Yuu...I...I’m sorry, but there’s...no way back.” he told her. 

 

“No, of course there is, the portal, remember?” she reminded him. 

 

“I spoke with Cid, and he told me that the portal in Thedas was destroyed shortly after we were thrown through it. There’s really no way back…” he said. 

 

Hearing that was too much. No way back meant her friends, those who were like family to her, hells, her _actual_ family was there, her brother, her husband, her children, all just out of her reach. Losing the hand, she could come to live with, losing them, she couldn’t bear. It wasn’t his fault, and yet, he was the only one close enough to blame. Yuuki stood up, shuffling towards him like she had somehow withered away in an instant. She brought her head to rest on his chest, shoulders shaking in time with the sniffling sobbing she couldn’t hold back. He moved to hold her, but she pushed his hand away, fingers twitching into a loose fist, unsure how to react as she beat weakly at his shoulder. 

 

“How could you do this to me?” she asked 

 

Knowing it wasn’t his fault didn’t change it in her mind, she  _ needed _ someone to blame. 

 

“Yuu, I didn’t cause this, I didn’t mean for any of this to happen…” he defended quietly. 

 

“Get out.” she demanded. 

 

“Yuu, I swear it’s--” he began. 

 

She stepped away, pushing him towards the door as best as she could. “Get out now. I want to be alone.” 

 

As much as he  _ knew _ she was vulnerable and shouldn’t be alone, he gave in. He could come back and check on her when she had managed to calm down. Descending the stairs, he left without protest, trying to think of the best course of action, there had to be people she would allow to keep an eye on her that wouldn’t upset her further, and with that in mind, he set out to contact anyone he thought might help her. The linkpearl! She could get ahold of Cid, or even Cullen if he was near enough to his to hear it. Pressing her fingers to it, a glimmer of happiness sneaking through until she felt the cracks in it. Taking it out, she frowned as she examined it, the color was gone, cracked almost in half. Her face twisted in anger, tossing it to the ground, burying herself under her blanket. 

 

“I knew it was a mistake.” she sighed. 

 

She couldn’t protect anyone, the best thing for everyone was staying away from her. 


	79. A Savior's Downfall

A week had passed, people had come and gone, trying to check on her, none getting past the door, locked of course. Yuuki had managed a shower, before returning to bed, becoming routine, unwilling to get out of bed and risk anything else going wrong. At this point, she only seemed to get up long enough to grab a bottle or two from her storage and rarely, something to eat, though she could barely come up with any reason why she should. The conversations of passing moogles floating by her house the only thing reminding her that the outside world existed, hearing occasional snippets about troubles in other places, even hushed whispers about Nidhogg’s impending return. It was no longer her concern, people would get hurt whether she helped or not, and at least in her mind, it would be worse if she involved herself in any dangerous situation. Besides, what good was she, down a hand, she couldn’t quite wield her greatsword, a regular sword, maybe, but certainly not with a shield. The dual daggers of a ninja was out, and without both hands, summoning was out too. There was magic, sure, but what was the point, magic was partially to blame for the situation. The inability to switch fast enough, the loss of her hand was due to magic, the lack of a way back? Magic. There was also the fact that that meant sobering up and leaving the house, two things she had no plans to do. 

 

“Yuuki, are you okay?” someone called to her. 

 

Glancing outside, she frowned. Thancred again, with Y’shtola in tow. She wished he’d just give up and stop bothering her. Draining the contents of the bottle in her hand, she set it with the rest, accumulating on the floor, struggling to open the window, she leaned out. 

 

“Haven’t you…” she paused, at a loss for even the basic words she was looking for. “Haven’t you gotten the hint yet? Leave me alone!” 

 

Thancred looked up to her, pointing to Y’shtola. “Come on, at least let her in. You can’t just stay there forever, by yourself.” 

 

Yuuki turned her attention to her, blinking to try and resolve the blurred double vision fuzzing her vision. “I can, and I intend to. You’ve wasted your time, and mine.” 

 

“Thancred, maybe this was a bad idea.” she murmured to him. 

 

“How long are you going to pretend you don’t care what happens? This isn’t you.” he called to her, nodding towards the door. 

 

“This is me now. I wish I could care, but I don’t.” she said. 

 

She tried to slam the window, but it was jammed, unable to fix it herself, she walked away, falling back into bed before reaching for another bottle. Unless he had a way for her to get back, she wasn’t interested, she didn’t even care if a castrum showed up right next to her house, or if every last Ascian appeared in her room at once, none of it mattered. Very few things could provoke her to act right now, and none of those things seemed possible. The sound of footsteps fading told her they had finally given up and left, which was just fine with her, even if she was a little lonely, it was far better this way, inevitably being around them had always led to having some type of work to do, and that meant people got hurt, something she wanted no part of anymore. She added the drink in her hand to the pile of finished ones, reaching for another, halting. Curiosity was getting the better of her, and she felt compelled to know the answer, convinced she didn’t really care one way or the other. Reaching in her bag, she grabbed her lance, leaning against it for support as she pulled herself up, her legs shaking from the combination of muscles stiffened from not moving as much as she was used to and intoxication. 

 

When she was sure she wouldn’t tumble over, she worked to lift the weapon, lighter than her swords, but still heavy enough to be awkward. It was clumsy, harder like this, but at least she could somewhat manage it, her incomplete arm braced against the side though it did nothing to help, and only made her feel worse about matters. It was something of a relief to know that she could still do at least that much, in the increasingly unlikely event that she cared enough to fight, at least there was  _ one  _ thing left to her. Propping it against the wall, she huffed to herself, not quite sure what possessed her to even think about it for a second, once more reaching for drink she was going for, stopping once more. Her head was swimming and she could barely see straight anymore, her body tingling in a way that said she had already had far too much for one day, and the best she could hope for was to simply pass out again. 

 

It made her smile, though it wasn’t a happy one. More disappointed than anything, at how her life was going. Lost her family, captured and essentially enslaved in an army she cared nothing for, only to escape and make a respectable name for herself, all those lives she managed to save, Haurchefant dying, the disappearance of her friends, then their return, her trip to Thedas, Cullen and the children, the loss of Minfilia, then her hand, and everything she held dear. She began with nothing, and it was looking like it was ending with nothing once more. Not even a proper adult and she was already to the point of her life revolving around drinking herself into oblivion and sleeping when she wasn’t fit to continue. It almost reminded her of a man she had helped a few times, a defect of the Garlean legions, living alone, paranoid, afraid. The one time he had truly opened up to her was to explain he needed help so he could make the gil to get back to his family, had children he hadn’t gotten to see in ages. That was who she was becoming, a sad thought, years down the road, would she still be here, wasting her life hiding away, secretly missing a family she desperately wanted to see? Worse still, even if by some miracle, she did get back, would they even remember her? If years passed, would Cullen have moved on?  Shaking her thoughts away, she rolled over, burying her face in the pillow, no attempt made to stop the tears stinging her eyes this time. 


	80. The Downward Spiral

Yuuki had given up on tracking just how much time had passed, very nearly having given up on herself as well. Her schedule of drinking herself to sleep hadn’t changed. The thing that had changed was the things plaguing her now, long past listening to the increasingly desperate calls for her attention just outside, her mind was playing tricks on her regularly. Visions of faces she missed, the sound of the one voice she was aching to hear more than anything calling for her, only for her to turn and realize it wasn’t real. Then there had been the dreams, dreams of Haurchefant holding his hand out to her, quietly calling her to join him, a thought which, while once comforting, was all too frightening now. Shaking off the lingering blur imposed by the drinks, she ached all over, finding it a struggle just to convince her legs to carry her, clutching the railing like it was a lifeline as she shakily made her way down the stairs. Eyes half closed, she walked to the bathroom, preparing for a shower, though she hadn’t the faintest idea why she was bothering at this point. 

 

Hells, even that much was a struggle she was unprepared for, the missing extremity making even such a basic thing as washing up a battle she wasn’t sure she could win. At the very least, the water felt good, and as much as she wanted to feel as thoroughly miserable as she felt inside, that was one thing she couldn’t convince herself to ignore. Yuuki stayed in only as long as she needed to get clean, nearly tripping on her way out, the room fogged to the point of being hard to see, when combined with the way her eyes couldn’t adjust correctly. She worked as quickly as she could manage to dress, mentally preparing to ascend the stairs once more. She leaned against the sink, curious enough to know what she looked like now, since she could no longer recall the last time she had actually seen her own face. Her vision cooperated enough to make out the shapes in the mirror, backing away too quickly when she read it. 

 

‘Did you miss me?” written in smearing lines. 

 

Gods, they truly were out to make her miserable. What more did they expect from her, she had given up, they had taken everything she cared about in one moment, and she was no longer a threat to them, that they would bother to torment her further scared her. Glancing around quickly, she saw no one, nothing out of the ordinary, but there was no way she was imagining this. She reached up, her hand fixed on the handle of the door, her increasing panic making it impossible to open. Closing her eyes, she gave in to the creeping darkness threatening to claim her, barely registering the loud banging she could hear. 

 

\----

The sound of voices was bothersome, and she tried to roll over, groping the pillow with plans to bury her head under it, though she couldn’t manage it. 

 

“My lord! Come quick, Lady de Borel is waking up!” she heard, a voice she didn’t recognize. 

 

Clearly, she was dreaming, she had went to great lengths to ensure she wouldn’t be bother by  _ anyone _ , and last she recalled, she was.... Trapped in the bathroom, that was right. USeless. How pathetic had she become that even a door handle was too much for her? She felt something, someone grab her hand, and it startled her, though she had to admit, with no small amount of guilt, that the contact felt nice, and for that reason solely, she allowed it to continue without fighting. 

 

“Yuuki, can you hear me? I’m here, it’s alright, you’re safe…” a new voice, but this was one she knew all too well. 

 

She lifted her head, her eyes snapping open, bloodshot, mismatched orbs flying immediately to the source. Ser Aymeric, as she had thought, gently squeezing her hand, his expression strange to her, even when she wasn’t sure he would make it after the attempt on his life, she had never once seen him less than composed. Now, it was hardly the same man at her side, there were actually tears welling, yet not falling, his face white, shaken, relieved. Why? 

 

“Where am I? This isn’t where I was…” she mumbled. 

 

“I’m...actually relieved you don’t remember it. Twelve, Yuuki, you nearly died. Thancred had thought to ask me to try and talk some sense into you, but when I arrived, I heard you yelling, and I thought something had happened. I do apologize, I had to break down the door to get in, but full glad am I that I did. I found you on the floor, unconscious, no pulse, no sign of life at all. I had you brought back to Ishgard, of course. Thancred told me it’s been  _ two months _ prior since he saw you last, and you’ve been out for two week since I found you.” he explained, his words mirror his distraught appearance. 

 

It was hard to care, even after hearing how close she had come to dying, and yet, some part of her was overjoyed to see him again. Despite the solitude being her choice, the loneliness alone was painful. Yuuki moved to sit up, struggling, as was becoming normal, the absence of a hand occasionally managing to be forgotten somewhere in the haze of her thoughts, only to be reminded whenever she tried to use it. Aymeric stood quickly, reaching around her waist, helping her to sit up with an ease even she didn’t anticipate, the reason obvious the moment she bothered to examine herself. Gods, she was literally withering away, the lines of bone showing through her skin in places. Of course that should have been expected, she couldn’t even remember the last time she had concerned herself enough to eat. It was unpleasant, and the desire for even the slightest bit of comfort compelled her, her arm snaking around his neck, drawing him closer. He smiled, just a little, taking great care to be gentle in his embrace, an almost inaudible gasp escaping when he actually felt a trickle of warmth against the curve of his neck. Tears, the unshakeable girl was truly crying, though he dared not guess at the reason, it was clear she was vulnerable, and he wasn’t about to press her for information. 

 

When she had calmed down and let go, it was apparent she was trying not to show interest in the happenings of the world outside her own ever widening bubble. Hesitantly, she looked to him once more, her hand curling around her shoulder, like one last barrier to keep him from getting to her. 

 

“What...uh....what’s been going on?” she mumbled. 

 

He didn’t want to overwhelm her, but at the same time, she would certainly resist if he didn’t tell her. Taking a seat, he draped his leg across his lap, crossing his arms, a troubling sign. 

 

“Surely you recall our last meeting?” he asked. 

 

“I haven’t exactly forgotten that we’re married, I know, but surely something has happened since then?” she huffed. 

 

It hadn’t actually clicked yet, but now that she was considering it, it connected. The ‘Lady de Borel’ in question was her. It felt strange to be called by something other than ‘Lady Homura’ or even ‘Lady Rutherford’ would surely have been less jarring. 

 

“While it is nice to know that it was memorable for you, and I do still think I am incredibly lucky that you agreed to it, my lady, that wasn’t what I was referring to.”

 

“Then....ahh...you mean about Estinien? Has something happened?” she asked, barely concealing honest interest at this point. 

 

“Nidhogg’s brood as yet has been scant, but there are signs he is intending to surface at any moment. I had thought to appeal to Hraesvelgr in the hopes that he might lend his aid, I truly wish to save him, he was still highly regarded here, and I know he meant much to you, a valued friend, and yet, I fear this is an unwinnable war without their assistance and...well…” he stopped, shaking his head. 

 

Yuuki was more than able to connect the dots, the Dravanians of Anyx Trine would not meet with him without her being present, and her forced absence meant that was impossible. She wanted to ignore it, but something in the back of her mind wouldn’t let it go. At the very least, if her body would hold out long enough to make the trip, surely he wouldn’t refuse to help her, she could stay long enough to convince him, and then return to her isolation, that wasn’t a lot to ask of herself, was it? 

 

“I....” she stopped, considering it one last time, whether she truly wanted to help or not. “I will go with you, I’ll secure an audience with Hraesvelgr and facilitate an alliance....” she sighed. 

 

Aymeric smiled, and it was warm, grateful. She flinched slightly as she saw him approach again, but again relented to the contact, the warmth and comfort in his arms was perhaps, exactly what she needed at that moment, his hand gently cradling the back of her head, not long, a final moment of hesitation on his part before he placed a light kiss on the top of her head. It didn’t bear the feel of sinister motivation, but an honest display of thanks. One that, at least here, where she was meant to seem the part of the Lord’s wife, was perfectly acceptable. 

 

“I can’t ask you to go until you’ve at least gotten some of your strength back, take some time, unless there is an emergency, there’s no need to rush just yet. In the meantime, I regret that I can’t stay at your side constantly. For that reason, I’ve seen to preparations for your inn room to accommodate whatever you may need. Please, I must ask one more favor. When I am unavailable to be there for you, allow Thancred to watch over you…” he paused, realizing he was replacing a burden on her she had willingly shed, and he risked her pulling away once more. “You are...truly, Eorzea’s last hope.” 

 

It pained her to hear that, a forced reminder of how she had failed, just how low she had been brought, how useless she was at this point. That the fate of her own world rested on a girl who had nothing left to offer, and was largely incapable of what she once could do, seemed a sad state of affairs. Somewhere in her, a tiny spark had reignited in her, just a vain desire to do the right thing, even if she couldn’t manage. 

 

“I...make no promises, but I will do my best. If it is your desire for me to keep me under watch, I will try not to complain.” she had once more given in. 

 

It was Halone all over again, in her mind. She hated the idea of having to be under constant watch, and naturally, it had to be the only remaining person who would take it the most seriously. What little energy she had was quickly fading, and a need for rest that was far too hard to ignore called her away once more. Lying back, she tried to find a comfortable position while she drifted off. 


	81. Rememberance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aymeric makes his intentions for the future known

Yuuki struggled to stand, Aymeric bracing her with an arm fixed around her, a challenge when considering she came to rest just inches above his waist. He was a kind man, one who wouldn’t complain about the pains that must surely come from such an awkward position. 

 

“Do you intend to hold me like this the entirety of today’s walk?” she asked curiously. 

 

Prior to this, their short walks, said to be a means to work her muscles back to where they could hold her without needing help, he had simply instructed her to get a firm hold on his arm and lean against him if needed. 

 

“If that is what you need, of course. ‘Tis a small thing to do, paling in comparison to all the help you have offered myself and Ishgard alike.” he assured her. 

 

She wanted to convince herself it made no difference one way or the other, but she couldn’t help noticing the frown he wore. Even at the most tense, he always smiled, at least it was so in her experience, she had so rarely seen such a look unless something serious was bothering him. Her eyes closed for just a moment, breathing a small, quiet sigh, mentally berating herself for the sudden need to know. She kept her concern hidden until they had gotten away from listening ears, focused on his features. 

 

“Lord...Aymeric” she corrected, recalling Cullen’s wish that she learn to be less formal. “There’s something on your mind, isn’t there? I...would listen, if you’d share it with me.” 

 

He stopped, barely noticed as it lasted a mere moment, his eyes briefly shifting to her before turning his attention back to the path. It was his responsibility to care for her, and at least it seemed she was willing to allow it, he would not lead her astray. 

 

“When this ends, if we still stand after Nidhogg makes his strike...I intend to resign as acting Archbishop. My duties will come to an end, and I’m...admittedly relieved, I’ve held the position far longer than I should have.” he said. 

 

That was a fine start, but there was more to it, that alone should have left him feeling a lighter burden, and yet he bore the same look as she so often did, the feeling that all rested on his shoulders, and he could do nothing to shake it free. 

 

“That’s not it, is it? There’s more, I can tell.” she murmured. 

 

His hand shifted from her waist, gently leaning her against him so she wouldn’t lose her balance, his hand coming to rest in hers, fingers threading between hers, squeezing briefly. He was concerned, even at their wedding, he had kept the contact brief, he was not given to great displays such as this, knowing it was a marriage of convenience, he had said he felt like he had imposed upon her far more than was right. 

 

“I fear for Estinien. He is a dear friend, and to see him in that condition, possessed of the great wyrm, inseparable, I don’t want to consider what might have to happen. Even worse, I hate that it would fall to you to do it, as with my father. You may have been the one to deliver the fatal blow, but it was at my behest, as such, I feel my hands are far more stained then yours. I cannot bear the thought that you might have to do so again. He is your friend as well, and I know it must be weighing on you as well.” he told her, sighing. 

 

His voice was shaking, his solid composure had been rocked, and his vulnerability, his  _ humanity?  _ Was that the right word for an elven man? It was on full display, a side of him he had never shown before. 

 

“That still isn’t everything. When...when I resign my position. I wanted to tell you, I intend to release you, you no longer have to be tied to me, there will be no need when someone else takes charge…” he said. 

 

Yuuki frowned, shaking her head. It wasn’t a particular attachment to him, granted, from the start she was always more than willing to admit she was quite taken with him, he was a handsome man, but that alone was not the point. 

 

“Aymeric...there’s no way in hells that’s possible. Among my people, marriage is meant to be to death. Regardless of circumstance, it is a bond, it is meant to be honored, and it matters little if it was out of feeling or convenience, it is one I  _ will _ honor. The way of my people is as an unbreakable law to me. I hope you understand.” she explained. 

 

He sighed again, heavier this time, embracing her, for a brief instant, a small smile on his face. 

 

“My friend, you remind me that for all the bad that has happened in such a short time, I am truly blessed to have you at my side. I can scarce imagine what Ishgard would be like had you been unwilling to help from the start. Would my father have slain the dravanians? Destroyed Ishgard herself in his foolish grab for power no mortal should have?” he stopped, reaching for her other arm, his fingertips gently brushing against the mending stump, his frown returning. “You’ve given yourself so completely to your duties, you sacrified your own body for the sake of others, and yet we ask more of you. I truly wish it were not so.” 

 

It was uncomfortable, and she felt a desire to pull it away, although, it was somewhat comforting that it didn’t put him off. The thing she could no longer stand looking at, reviled by her own disfigured appearance, he bore no such holdups, and it wasn’t pity on his face, it was...what was it? Regret... he regretted how far she had been forced to go for the sake of salvation. She had failed to kill the Ascian, it was true, but it had called them off of Thedas for awhile, that was worth it in her mind. 

 

“I would do it again if it meant protecting people I hold dear, no...that’s wrong, it wasn’t all just people I feel for, it was innocent people as well, those with families, loves, friends, things to live for who couldn’t protect it for themselves. I would gladly do it all again if it meant I could help.” she admitted. 

 

The will to keep fulfilling her intended role had vanished, but the memory of the things she had done, the good she had wrought, that, she would never wish undone. 

 

“Lady...nay...Yuuki...without Hraesvlgr’s aid, you know as well as I do, Ishgard cannot guard against Nidhogg, even you with your blessings could not hope to stand against him and his brood alone...if this doesn’t end well...I want you to know, I’m very glad we met that day. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I  _ knew _ , you were what we...what I needed most, when it was needed. You have saved not only Ishgard, but me, countless times.” he said. 

 

She laughed, a brief, soft laugh, but perhaps the first genuine time since that time that she felt compelled to do so. “Ahh, there’s no need to get so emotional on me. If we succeed, that’s no guarantee either. We may yet die, but...at the very least, I am full glad that it won’t be alone. To have at least one friend at my side, who could ask for more?” 

 

Aymeric cleared his throat, freeing his hand to return his arm to her waist, keeping her steady. “Well, for now let us focus on getting your strength back. We won’t make it to Anyx Trine if you can scarecely stand.” 


	82. Firewater

Thancred stopped outside the inn door, Aymeric was swamped with work, and he had after all, agreed to keep an eye on her. They hadn’t spoken since their arrival here again, and he was certain his arrival would be unwelcome, his reception a frosty one. He knocked on the door before entering, unable to look at her as he shuffled through. She said nothing at first, staring out the window at the sun reflecting off the snow just outside. 

 

“I’m sorry. It was never your fault. You were only trying to protect me, it was unworthy of me to treat you as I did. I hope you can forgive me.” she mumbled. 

 

“It didn’t need to be said, I understand how you must feel, believe me. I only wanted to help you, and I could never blame you for being angry about how things have turned out.” he sighed. 

 

Thancred moved to take a seat next to her, hesitating before he reached out, placing a hand on her shoulder. He had no idea how to comfort someone who was unaccustomed to feel this way. She glanced back at him over her shoulder, and he was sure he was about to hear it for treating her like that. She turned to face him, her arms rounding his neck, face buried against his chest. The sound of her quiet sniffling the only thing explaining to him that she had no idea how to handle it either. He reached to hold her, lightly sweeping circles between her shoulders, staying quiet for the moment until she spoke again. 

 

“I never in my life imagined I would call anywhere else home, never thought I’d live to get so close to someone. I didn’t expect my life to go so well, and...I didn’t think I’d lose it all this time. I’m lost, what am I supposed to do? I’m only half as useful now, and it feels like my heart has shattered…” she sobbed. 

 

He had wondered the same thing a few times, the loss of his friend was still fresh in his mind, and until he made the choice to stay with her, he had no sense of purpose left to him. His purpose now was simply watching her back and making sure she didn’t simply vanish into nothing as did the Warriors of Light in the Calamity. Thancred patted her head lightly, it was a terrible idea, part of him concerned that she would return to her perpetual state of drunkenness and complete lack of will to carry on. In his place, however, he knew if nothing else, it would serve to help her forget for a little while and maybe a good night’s rest was all she needed. That and some conversation, and it might be like old times, when they first met, the angry, frightened girl who thought everyone was out to harm her had been soothed by nothing more meaningful than some water, a little food and a brief chat about her favorite things -- at the time, Lavendar and observing the natural world, such a serious statement from a young Auri girl, glad to be free from her Imperial leash, if only for a short time. 

 

“Yuu. How about we skip looking for answers. Got anything strong? I have a suspicious feeling all we need is time to talk and something hard.” he suggested. 

 

She sat up, wiping at her eyes with a sniffle. Leaning to grab her bag, she nodded, producing a large pottery jar that, even sealed, he could smell as if it were right under his nose. 

 

“Is that what I think it is?” he asked. 

 

“Qiqirn firewater, a gift.” she confirmed. 

 

Yuuki searched through her things before producing two tin cups. Not as fancy as her usual selection might normally have been, but he knew she rarely did anything without meaning. If he had to hazard a guess, it was like as not that the material was meant to somehow contribute to either flavor or potency. She was taking his suggestion very seriously. Thancred took the glass she offered, his nose wrinkling at the strange vapors that rose from the drink in his glass. He decided against making any kind of statement, the Au Ra were known to be proficient drinkers and were said to be able to handle unfathomably strong drinks. Though Buscarron himself was known to enjoy this very concoction as well, a favorite of his, so not within the realm of possibility that he could suffer through it also. He thought it over just a bit longer before taking a drink, the nerves in his throat tingling all the way down, a slight sting that wasn’t entirely unpleasant. 

 

“I once helped make a batch of this. Made with coeurl whiskers, so that’s where the tingle comes from. Better in your mouth than on the receiving end of a shock.” she commented idly. 

 

He stretched back, propped against the wall, turning his gaze from his drink to her. She had changed so much since he first met her, mostly for the better, though he couldn’t quite recall the exact moment when it happened. Even for all the years he had known her, all the experiences they had shared together, not just as friends, but as Scions as well, he still couldn’t make the claim that he knew much about her. 

 

“You must have had dreams of your own? Even thinking this lifestyle would claim your life, I’m certain you had something you meant to do if you ever had the chance?” he questioned. 

 

Yuuki hunched over, her shoulders squeezing her together in the same way they did whenever a topic made her uncomfortable in some way. Not something she wanted to talk about, clearly, and yet the look in her strange eyes said she was considering it. She finished off her drink, refilling her glass, glancing back at him once more. 

 

“I was a foolish thing. Even before my family was slain, I had it in my head I didn’t want to be a warrior. I wanted to do floral arrangements, maybe tend a garden outside the manor. That and...well, I wanted to sing. You know, like the Songbirds, or the Homuculi…” she mumbled quietly. 

 

Obviously, time had convinced her those weren’t worthy dreams to hold, that somehow she was failing herself by holding onto them still. Not a bad picture though, the image of her smiling as she knelt over a carefully tended patch of all manner of lush fauna, quietly singing to herself as she did was a much better image than her, stained in blood, forced to carry out a life of bloodshed and suffering for the sake of others who needed a savior. 

 

“I don’t think that’s a bad dream at all. At least you had something you wanted. I lived my life from day to day and never lent much thought to what I wanted from life. By the time I had grown up enough to really think about it, I knew I was already doing much more than I could have imagined. I didn’t let myself think of doing anything else.” he admitted. 

 

She turned, topping off his glass, returning her attention just outside the window with a sigh. One thing was certain, he wasn’t quite sure he should have any more after this, it was already becoming too much of a challenge to think straight let alone put those thoughts to coherent words. How she seemed unbothered by it was beyond him, though she had spent quite some time lately doing a fair amount of drinking, perhaps she had developed a tolerance for it. He reached for her arm, startling her by accident, though she eventually relaxed a little. He frowned as he circled it slowly, the memory of the Ascian who claimed it for his own still haunting him. He hadn’t managed to decide yet if it had anything to do with seeing the Warrior of Light fail for the first time, or if it was more to do with seeing a dear friend in such grievous condition. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t stop him. If I were just a little quicker, a little stronger, I could have…” he began. 

 

“It’s my fault. I was arrogant. I thought after so much planning, and then the success at infiltrating the castrum...I thought my plan was fool proof, that I could switch to magic quickly enough to finish the job in seconds. I didn’t anticipate he would be so fast that I would have no time for anything but trying to stave off his attacks. I overestimated myself and underestimated my enemy, it was a rookie mistake I should never have made. This loss, this ugly thing...it’s all my fault, and it is fair enough punishment for such an error.” she explained. 

 

He finished his second round, setting it off to the side before she could fill it again, squeezing his eyes shut for a bit, his vision blurring at the edges, dancing in a way that made it hard to follow. Her tail waved back and forth slowly, speaking as though to the window, though it was directed to him. 

 

“It does hit hard and fast, does it not?” she paused to pour another cup full “Since you were so keen to talk, I’ve a question for you as well. You once asked if I ever felt something for you, was that your way of trying to tell me you do or just a point of curiosity?” she asked. 

 

If nothing else, if she did find her way back, she could prove that he didn’t, and that she was much better at reading people than Cullen might think. He didn’t answer right away, and for once, that was strangely uncomfortable. He was often quick with his responses, and the pause was unusual. 

 

“If I said it was, you’d take it as no more than a joke, wouldn’t you? If I say I don’t, you’d be at least a little disappointed. What exactly am I supposed to say to a question like that?” he mused. 

 

She didn’t have to see his face to know he was smirking like an idiot. Of course he was, it was likely he found the whole situation amusing. Twelve, she was dizzy, her mind becoming cloudy, it had snuck up on her after all. She drained the glass, setting it off to the side, stretching out, his presence taking up half the bed, her legs draping over his lap, improvising with the limited space. 

 

“I intended for an honest answer, but I suppose if you don’t want to, it’s fine.” she grumbled, her arms tucked under the pillow, a habit, even though it no longer felt the same. 

 

“Perhaps before the night is over, I’ll think of a way to answer that.” he said, tipping his head against the wall, the unpatched eye closing slowly. “Or maybe I won’t. You have the most interesting reactions to being left hanging like that.” 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter may be nsfw, possibly triggering? Not quite sure yet.


	83. Rough Nights

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A good idea goes wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW. 
> 
> This has been done for a little while, but I was getting opinions on it before I decided to post it.

Thancred sighed, she looked exhausted and his plans to help her relax had done nothing to offer her any relief. Perhaps the best thing he could do now was to go so she could rest, but he had said he’d watch her, at least until Aymeric had freed time again. He grabbed the edge of the blanket, turning to pull it up for her, slipping, but catching himself before he accidentally hurt her. 

 

“What are you doing?” she mumbled quietly, her eyes still closed. 

 

“You look like you’re…” he paused, trying to wrangle up the mental energy to finish the statement, the haze of intoxication making it an exceptional challenge. “About to fall asleep.” 

 

Yuuki shook her head in denial, pulling him down next to her, using him as an extra pillow despite that. “I’m fine. This is nothing…” 

 

He frowned, unsure where to put his arms that might not interrupt her potentially fragile pleasant mood. After a time, he rested it across her shoulder, though there didn’t seem to be any immediate consequences, as if she either didn’t know or didn’t care. 

 

“Yuu, let me help you. You can rely on me…” he told her. 

 

There was no way it was possible, her heart knew that but her mind was convinced. It was exactly the kind of thing Cullen would say, and her clouded thoughts made it feel like it was entirely possible. Her eyelids felt weighed down, too hard to open, though she maintained she felt perfectly fine. Thancred turned his head to check on her when it occurred to him she hadn’t replied, silent in fact. His eyes widened in surprise, her lips pressing to his, a short kiss, but more than enough to confuse him. He had done nothing to warrant such a response, and yet she looked expectant, as if waiting for something. She was fairly coherent still, at least he was sure she was, admittedly, he wasn’t, so it was a challenge to tell with any certainty. His hand brushed the back of her neck, fingers dancing through her hair, drawing her back again, testing the waters, if it wasn’t meant that way, she’d surely tell him, she was always fairly vocal about situations she didn’t like. 

 

Yuuki didn’t push him away, matching his kiss, quickly turning more intense than he intended it to. It had been so long since he last sought out anyone’s company, not since well before he had realized...he wasn’t about to mention that and ruin the moment. So many things wrapped into one, soft, warm, responsive, gentle, and yet there was still a hint of need he had never noticed with her before. Her hand curled at his chest, like she was worried if she wasn’t holding on, he’d vanish. There was no clarity in this, his mind had given up, almost like he was moving without conscious thought to do so, and yet he couldn’t be sure if it was the alcohol or the equally intoxicating scent of lavender hanging on her skin, the first time he could ever recall noticing it this vividly. His hold shifted, hand planted firmly at her lower back, pulling her closer, the heat of her skin creeping through him, invigorating, chasing away the bitter cold that seeped through the closed windows, the glint of sunlight showing through doing absolutely nothing to deter the frigid climate. 

 

Thancred shifted uncomfortably, his hand dipping under the hem of her blouse, crawling up her back. He stopped, pulling away, despite her quiet sound of protest. It was too warm, he hastily peeled off his vest, tossing it to the floor, turning enough to pull the leather strings loose, pants fluttering to the ground, returning to her, a muffled groan swallowed away. She twisted under him, shrugging out of her clothes, pushing them off the edge of the bed as though they had personally insulted her. Her head tilted, the sight of her bared skin a tempting invitation, one he hadn’t been able to consider clearly enough to refuse. He mouthed the curve of her neck to her shoulder, stubble scraping against velvet, nipping gently at first, then harder, a quiet moan escaping just past his ear, sending thrilling shocks through his spine and down his stomach, gripping her tighter. His other hand slipped just under the band of her panties, swallowing hard, unable to recall the last time he felt so nervous about something he had been fairly sure came quite naturally to him. Her hips lifted at his touch, her nails tickling at the nape of his neck, moving lower, tongue brushing against her nipple, an interesting dusky pink color he hadn’t paid attention to before. 

 

She quivered, sighing like a faint whisper, his hand moving back, teasing at first, then indulging, an aching reminder calling his attention away for a second. Withdrawing from her, he eased her last remaining garment down, adding it to the pile, his own briefs joining shortly after. In his short absence, she rolled, burying her face in the pillow, tail lazily wrapping her waist, thighs parted almost like a further invitation. Against his wishes, he glanced down between them, his hand wandering the smooth plains of her back, lingering on the raised scar between her shoulders, shaking his head. It was hard to focus, spreading over her slowly, pulling her hair to the side, exhaling warmly against the back of her neck, a muffled moan telling him he had found an especially sensitive spot. Biting delicately, she groaned, her hips bucking back, brushing against him, a faint sensation, like touching satin. His hand came to rest at the curve of her hip, guiding her back, biting firmly at her shoulders to silence himself. 

 

Sliding down to meet her, his hips rolled, slow and gentle initially, his fingers tracing circles on her skin, softness interrupted occasionally by raised, relaxed scales, her body moving counter to him, albeit a little awkwardly, he was willing to admit he had tried to imagine this very thing a number of times, and had always failed. Perhaps this was better than he might have been able to picture anyway, though when he wasn’t gone like this, he had a very vivid imagination, so it seemed impossible to say. She turned her head slightly, her lower lip trapped in her teeth, trying to quiet herself. He found her ear, nibbling up to the small point and back, his heavy breaths making her dig into the sheets, shivering. He spoke, soft, ragged whispers, though he had no recollection of the things he had said, only that whatever it had been must have been good, her reactions immediate, pressed back tightly against him, her teeth freeing her lip in favor of biting into the pillowcase. She stopped holding back, whimpering softly, culminating in dripping spots on her sheets, though he was nowhere near ready to give in. It had been too long, and his tainted memory could no longer summon the recollections of the last time he had done this, and harder still to recall the last time it felt like this, though he realized he might have been a bit biased. It was no secret to most that he had liked her for many many years, and it was said very little could compare to someone you feel for. 

 

His hair slipped over his shoulders, pale ashy blonde locks sweeping along the back of her neck. Harder, unrestrained, she made no complaint, raising to meet him, though it was clear her energy was dwindling away. The pulses of energy racing through him signalling he was nearing his limit, his muscles clenching taut, his back tensed, he pulled her as tightly to him as he could, her thighs sliding apart, like she was struggling to keep herself up, his grip tightening to upright her again, panting against her neck, a sound not unlike a quiet whine escaping when he came, a herculean effort required to not simply melt against her in a lazy pile, he pulled away, instead falling at her side, drawing her close to enjoy her warmth a little longer, when she mumbled faintly. 

 

“Can we go somewhere? We can take my chocobo, or something...I just… I miss the forest, it’s so cold here…” she asked quietly. 

 

Even for her weakness, and her current lack of energy, how could he refuse such a simple request? Gridania wasn’t all that far from Ishgard, and it wouldn’t take long to get there, a short foray into the Twelveswood might even do some good for her morale…

 

“Alright, alright. Give me a bit to get dressed, I’ll help if you need it, then we’ll go. Not too long though, understand? You need rest.” he instructed. 

 

“Fair enough, just a bit then…” she murmured. 

 

She struggled to sit up, her arm slipping, barely catching herself on her hand. All things considered, silk sheets might not have been the best thing, but Aymeric had requested the best for her, and he knew, even if he hadn’t said so, there was no way in any of the seven hells that she’d settle for rough bedding. Not that she was picky or entitled, on the contrary, her bed was the one area of finery she insisted on. Even her own home, as large as it was, was sparsely decorated, paid for with her hard work, though she had been assured many times over she could have the best of everything if she would only ask. For the girl who desired nothing fancy, a trip to the forest seemed the least he could offer. 


	84. Chapter 84

A week later, Yuuki was still furious about the surprise wedding. She hadn’t argued it as much as she usually would because, as he pointed out, going to the forest was  _ her _ idea, as was going to the Sanctum of the Twelve. Partly responsible in that large a way, she let it go. Aymeric however, was if possible, still more upset than she was about it. It wasn’t that which enveloped his thoughts now though. Instead it was her absence from her room that worried him. She was in no condition to be wandering off on her own, and while she had made good progress, she wasn’t nearly recovered enough for excess strain. 

 

“Found her.” Thancred called with a sigh.

 

“Where did she get to?” Aymeric asked. 

 

“Not as far as I thought. Come look.” he said, nodding his head out to the yard. “Over there.”

 

Aymeric joined him by the doorway, a pillar blocking much of the view besides her tail and the back half of one of his Knights. The conversation between them was plenty audible even from this far away. 

 

Her arm curled loosely around a glowing white lance, at odds with the darker tones of her tanned skin. The Knight came completely into view as he took a step back from her, hands raised, shaking his head. 

 

“I’m sorry Lady de Borel. I’m not allowed to. Lord Aymeric said we’re not supposed to interrupt your recovery.” he apologized. 

 

“This will  _ help _ my recovery. I’ve done this before, don’t worry about hurting me. I’m not a whelp fresh from my first day with a weapon. I’m  _ The Warrior of Light. _ ” she hissed grumpily. 

 

“I know, my Lady. Even so, I can’t disobey a direct order.” he said. 

 

“Perhaps it’s just me, but it seems she’s gotten some of her fire back.” Aymeric observed. 

 

“It  _ is _ just you. That’s not fire. That’s her being irritated about being confined to a bed. Trust me on this, I know. I was around the last time she had to be forced to rest.” he muttered. 

 

“So I see. If that’s true, perhaps I can help after all.” he said. 

 

“You? What are you going to do?” he asked. 

 

“You’ll see.” he told him. 

 

Aymeric adjusted his belt, his hand draped gently over the pommel of his sword. He made his way across the yard, The Knight immediately catching sight of him. “Lord Aymeric, please help me, I --” 

 

He gestured back to the barracks. “Dismissed, Knight. I’ll take it from here.” 

 

“Thank you, Sir.” he muttered as he ran off. 

 

“Come to force me back to rest?” Yuuki grunted.

 

She stubbornly pushed herself upright, her fingers tightening around her lance. Even down an arm, she couldn’t look more like it belonged there if she tried. It was like she was born to be a dragoon. Aymeric shook his head, smiling gently. “Not at all.” 

 

Her eyes widened in surprise at that, thugh she was quick to let that small hint show, a stoic expression taking its place. “Is that so. Then what?” 

 

He gripped his sword, drawing it slowly, taking two steps back from her. “If you’ve that much energy to burn, then shall we practice?” 

 

Far from being put off by the offer, she spread her stance wider, lifting her weapon, arm wrapped along the shaft to compensate for being down a hand. He lightly brushed his blade against the side, indicating she could begin at her convenience. Her legs shook visibly from supporting her full weight, however small she was, it was more than she had had to bear fully in a while. She kept herself up, however, dexterously going in for a direct strike, leaping back when she noticed his move. Deflecting his strike, her left leg gave out, dropping to one knee. Not yet done, she swung upward, catching the edge of his robe before he moved away. He stopped, but didn’t move to help her yet, knowing her well enough to know he shouldn’t offer to help her too quickly. Seizing the opportunity he offered, she dug the end of her lance into the ground firmly, pulling herself to her feet once more. Her missing limb brushed against the edge, foundering uselessly, and it shamed her in a sense. Like trying too hard and still failing, or not knowing one's place and trying to fit where there was no room to belong. It wasn’t so much that she hated that it wasn’t there anymore, but more that she hated losing it in the first place. It was a symbol of everything she was taught not to do. Don’t be too arrogant, don’t believe you know everything, and always know that no matter how strong you get there’s always someone better than you. 

 

Aymeric waited to see if she wanted to continue, or if she’d had enough. Humbled by the realization, she bowed her head, frowning. Concerned, he sheathed his sword, closing the gap, his hands falling to rest on her slim shoulders. “Are you alright?” 

 

“Yes. I’m fine. If it isn’t too much trouble, could we try the mountain path today?” she asked. 

 

“You’re feeling well enough for that? Who am I to say no? He said warmly. 

 

In truth, he was more proud that she was willing to keep trying. It wasn’t simply to try and save Ishgard that she kept going, but for him, for the people she had met in her travels, and the orphans that roamed the streets, people who had no business getting dragged in the middle of an unwinnable thousand year war against the Dravanians. She wanted to get well enough to plead with Hraesvelgr to intervene. As long as she could do that much, she’d be satisfied, and asking even that much saddened him. Keeping his arm around her shoulders, he led her back to the office so she could relax while he made the preparations. Natural warmth or not, it was still too cold for her to be out there for a long time without at least something to keep her warm if the temperature dipped down much more. Yuuki would insist she wouldn't need it. That's why he was going to hold on to it. He'd been warned before that she could be rather reckless, and of course he'd been told about what happened when Halone grew too strong for her. He didn't want to risk exposing her to this level of cold when he wasn't sure of her current state. Aymeric directed her to a seat, rushing around to gather what he thought they might need, close enough to dinner as well that he packed up something warm but light, she needed her strength, and she’d only grow weaker without a regular schedule and good food. 

 

“Should I bring a chocobo?” he asked. “Just in case?” 

 

“You worry overmuch. I’ll be fine. With you fussing over my care, I’m sure I’ll manage well enough without.” she groaned. 

 

That said, he settled on what he had gathered, returning to her side. She took hold of his arm, pulling herself up. The mountain path closest by wasn’t far outside the gate, a short enough walk to reach it. The uneven, icy rock terrain would be the biggest challenge. Then again, if she couldn’t manage that, there was no way she’d handle the climb she needed to. Still, halfway there, she let go. There was that stubborn streak. Even if she knew she needed the help, it didn’t stop her from wanting to manage on her own as much as possible. A vast improvement over the mess she was found in, to be sure. 

 

“I wonder what mother would say if she saw me like this…” she mumbled. 

 

“She’d be very proud of the woman you’ve become, I’m sure.” he replied. 

 

He was careful not to reach for her unless she indicated she needed or wanted his help, it was important that she be allowed to manage whatever she could. If he only coddled her, as he admittedly would have preferred, she’d never be able to become the hero she no longer felt she was. 

 

“You think? I’m sure she’d be disappointed. Not the arm, that’s a point of pride. I gave my all, even when my body was the cost. Married, but not to one of my own kind, moping over my losses like a pitiful child. To think I thought myself fit for the mantle of my family’s Empress. I have so much to learn, even now…” she told him. 

 

The first step up the path, she managed to find a patch of ice, slipping. He reached out to her, though she caught herself before she fell, Two more steps, and she recognized her limitations, once more reaching for his arm. Had she ever actually relied on anyone before? He couldn’t think of a time when she didn’t seem completely unstoppable, more than capable of handling even the most impossible things on her own. Certainly if she ever needed anyone else, it wasn’t quite this willing. 

 

“As ever, my Lady, you’re far too critical of yourself. It’s fair to take your losses so poorly. Think of it, how much have you done by yourself? How long have you spent without failure? To lose even once is not a terrible thing. You yet live, does that not mean there’s still hope for a resolution?” he suggested. 

 

“My way home is gone. I can’t believe I’ve said that. This has always been my home, that I would consider somewhere else...Amazing.... I’d say all hope for that is gone. Assuming Hraesvelgr is willing to break his inaction for my sake, who can say if even he can tip the balance in our favor? I’m not guaranteeing a victory at all. How can you have any faith in me at all?” she wondered. 

 

He shifted his hold on her, threading his fingers tightly between hers, as if trying to will her to feel his conviction through his touch. “I have never  _ lost _ faith in you. Even now, at your lowest, I firmly believe that you will do the impossible once more. Like Phoenix, you will rise from your own ashes the ugly, molting plumage you wear now will once again shine with a magnificence that only you could have. You  _ are _ Eorzea. You are her heart, her pulse, all of it flows through you.” 

 

Yuuki had never heard such strong words from him. He was a quiet man by nature, and while he’d told her on several occasions how grateful he was for her presence, he’d never said it like this. It was touching, and she chose not to ruin the moment by shattering his illusion. Phoenix, who she had once met in battle, was what became of Archon Louisoix, hero of the Calamity, the one who saved Eorzea with one action, felling the great wyrm and summoning the Twelve themselves. Surely he didn’t mean to imply that her salvation meant that at the end of her journey, she’d suffer the fate of being bound to a primal and thralled to the mistakes of a bygone era. 

 

“I....thank you, Aymeric. I don’t think I’ve ever been compared in such a way. To know that someone thinks so highly of me...it’s comforting.” she sighed. 

 

“May...I ask...you’re  _ certain _ there’s no way for you to return?” he asked. 

 

Her expression darkened briefly, nodding as though her words might fail her if she tried to speak. “I’m absolutely sure. The Garlean portal was destroyed, the Anchor is gone, I can’t simply walk back through anymore. Why?” 

 

His brows lowered, and it was the saddest look she’d ever seen on his face. It didn’t suit him, that kind of look hurt her just as much as it showed he was feeling. He reached for her, drawing her tightly to his chest, resting his head on hers. 

 

“I am sorry. Truly. I know what you’ve left behind, and if you could believe me, I understand your losses more than you think.” he said. Letting go slowly, he captured her chin, drawing her to look up at him, the difference stark. He bent low, kissing her gently, the briefest contact, short enough for her to believe she imagined it. “I can’t replace anything, but....am I enough? Could you see fit to rely on me?” 

 

Yuuki bit her lip, looking away. He was right, he couldn’t replace them. Couldn’t compete, and wasn’t enough to erase them from her memory. He wasn’t even asking for her love. Just to be enough. It was a sad thing to her, what had she done to make him believe he was less than she was worth? In her mind, the answer was a very simple one, he’d always been more than enough, she was glad for his presence, had been from the start. Whether or not she ever could love him at all wasn’t the question, and thankfully, that meant she didn’t have to search for the response to that. 

 

“You are. You are, and I could.” she said. 

 

“This doesn’t mean I’ll let you give up, you know?” he said. “I believe there is a way back. I’ll search every corner of the world if I must. If there truly is nothing to be done about it, at least we’ll  _ both _ know for sure.” 

 

“I’m curious. Has the way you feel about me changed in some way?” she asked. 

 

He stopped, facing her once more, tilting his head slowly. “You’re asking if I love you? I’ve never honestly stopped long enough to consider the meaning of my feelings towards you. I can’t answer it, not yet. Besides, even if I had, it was never the right time. It wasn’t long after you headed this way that I noticed the way you and Haurchefant grew together. When he...passed...I knew you grieved him in a different way. Then...you were just gone. When next I saw you, you’d already moved on again. And again, you’re grieving once more. I suppose if I were to try and piece together everything, perhaps I  _ do _ love you, but I could say with no certainty.” 

 

“Haurchefant and I… we never, we weren’t...I’d rather not think about him right now. It’s strange to think someone you were close to...that you’ll wake up one day and never see them again. I don’t want that for you, or anyone. I’m going to save Estinien, because I never want you to feel that.” she explained. 

 

He shook his head slowly. “You’re wrong. He loved you. You were  _ all  _ he talked about. Said one day that he’d finally felt worthy of you, he was going to tell you. It’s just...that it didn’t work that way.” 

 

They had made it halfway up the path when he told her. She stared up the side of the mountain, letting go once more. No. The path was not enough, not anymore. “You can turn back if you wish. I’m going all the way up. I need to ready myself. In one week, I’m going. I’ve spent far too long in bed, and the longer I wait, the longer Nidhogg has to prepare and to corrupt Estinien.” 

 

Aymeric smiled at the statement. “To the top then. I’ll stay by your side every step.” 


	85. Chapter 85

Yuuki sat across from the Lord Commander, pushing herself to try just a little more today, if only to make sure the trip went as smoothly as could be hoped for. 

 

“Is the food not to your liking, you’ve hardly touched it?” Aymeric asked, concerned. 

 

“It’s fine, I’m just wondering why you went through the trouble. I could have asked one of my retainers to bring something.. Unless…” she stopped, taking a breath. “Is this…?”

 

“Yes. I’ve never had a chance to lay down my work long enough to do this for anyone. It’s hardly seemed like we’re married, I thought perhaps it was the right move. You must miss this, right?” he asked

 

“I do not miss the slop from the mess hall. If instead you mean to ask if I miss doing this with Cullen, you may be surprised to discover we simply had very little time for this. Unfortunately, Thedas already had it’s share of problems before I arrived, much and more with the Ascians and the Imperials…” she sighed. 

 

“You never rest, do you?” he chuckled. 

 

“Not often, anyway. Rest is for people who aren’t constantly plagued with work. You’d know a little something of that, wouldn’t you?” she asked with a smile. 

 

“Please, let’s skip the work talk. I’d rather not bore you with my problems. I...rather like the idea of spending time with you like this.” he said, a faint blush on his face she’d never seen. 

 

“Most would call this something like a date, I’d imagine.” she laughed. 

 

“Pardon the interruption, but this, you’re going to want to see.” Thancred said, peering in from the door. 

 

Before either got a chance to  _ see _ anything, a man pushed past him, stepping into the office like it was his own. Even with the sunglasses he wore, she knew immediately who it was. There was no way he should be here, he was lost to them in the World of Darkness. Giving up on being shocked by anything this world could throw at her, she took a small sip of her tea, setting it down carefully. 

 

“Nero. Long time no see.” she said quietly. “I’ll not bother to ask what theatrics you came up with to escape and simply ask what it is that brings you here.” 

 

“I’m wounded. I expected a bigger reaction, I  _ did _ manage quite the escape, you’re not even a little curious?” Nero asked. 

 

“Not even slightly.” Yuuki mumbled. 

 

“Oh...very well. Garlond usually seems to be close by to wherever you are. I can’t seem to find him, so I thought it best to instead find _you_ and...didn’t you have two arms the last I saw you?” he asked, seemingly just realizing her missing appendage.

 

“Interestingly enough, the end to your search is tied into my missing arm. We were in a different world. Ascians followed, and kindly removed it and destroyed the portal. I have no way back, he has no way here. Also, you’re wrong if you think this makes me trust you.” she mumbled. “Cid would have said the same.” 

 

“Come on. I only tried to kill you once, and if you recall, I failed.” he sighed. “This place seems awfully tense.” 

 

“Nidhogg prepares to reignite the Dragonsong War in earnest.” Aymeric interjected. 

 

“You intend to fight a war largely by yourself with only one arm?” Nero asked, barely containing his amusement at the thought. 

 

“No, I thought first I would regrow it.” She huffed. 

 

“You forget who I am. Garlond may be seen as the best at what he does, but I won’t suffer being second best. Give me a few hours to gather the materials I need, and I could have you better off than before. I like a challenge, and this is nothing if not an opportunity to show off a little.” he said. 

 

“You want me to subject my body to an imperial? One who as you said, tried to kill me. Give me one good reason why I should trust you not to screw with me.” Yuuki challenged. 

 

Aymeric reached across the table, placing a hand on her shoulder, as if to keep her from getting too upset by the intrusion. Yuuki stared at the stump in thought, half wondering if he could really pull it off, and if it was worth trusting him to do something like that. If it was Cid, she would have gladly accepted right away, but he was one Imperial she actually liked. She trusted him with her life, and he had never steered her wrong yet. He pulled out a piece of paper, slipping it in front of her face. Twelve, Cid was going to be upset. His own business had went through the trouble of signing him on as a consultant, even knowing how little trust there was there as well. Still, that made a little difference. If they were willing to trust him, and pay him a frankly alarming amount of gil for his help on top of it...well…

 

“I see. Then I suppose I’ll have to keep an eye on you in Cid’s place.” she muttered. 

 

“Fair enough, no one would bother to disagree with the opinion of the Warrior of Light, and if I do step out of line, you’d surely be swift to put me down. It works out well for everyone. Now...about the arm.” Nero said. 

 

Aymeric met her nervous gaze, he couldn’t rightly tell her whether she should or not. Still whatever she decided, the best he could do was to be there if needed. 

“Fine. Just remember, I only need one arm to put you down if you try anything.” she threatened. 

 

Nero shrugged as if it hardly bothered him. “I know. Anyway, I imagine you have some work ahead of you. I’ll go get the equipment I need, and get about to making your new arm.” 

 

He crossed closer, and she felt her stomach drop. He was no threat, but it was still a little uncomfortable to have him so close so quickly. She didn’t miss the slight movements on either side of them. Aymeric discreetly placing his hand on the hilt of his blade, Thancred ready to strike at a moment’s notice. Nero leaned closer, lifting the remaining upper portion of her arm, looking it over quietly. 

 

“Well?” she asked. 

 

“It’s going to be agonizing. If you want to be able to use it, I’ll have to reopen this, and there’s a lot of intricate work connecting the remnants of your nerves to a network of artificial nerves. I’m certain if I really try I might even be able to give you some basic sense of touch with it. “ he explained. Looking over her other arm curiously, he nodded. “I’ll do my best to replicate the flesh and scale so it’s more comfortable for you. What I can’t do is restore the mark that was there. However, based on the analysis of our bat--I mean. I would  _ assume _ that the energy is still flowing through your entire body. That, combined with your...gifts... you may find some residual energy flaring up from time to time.” 

 

With that, he stood up again, waving over his shoulder on the way out. Thancred sighed, nodding to the outer door. “I’ll keep watch.”

 

“That isn’t necessary, I have guards posted all around this place. I doubled the guard when she arrived.” Aymeric said. With a slight frown, he stood up to fetch another chair. “You’re welcome to stay if you like.”

 

He didn’t care for the extra company, but at the same time, the Alliance was as much between the Scions as the grand companies, and that meant having to play host to him if he chose to stay. Thancred shook his head, closing the door behind him. 

 

“He still blames himself for this. Had I handled it better, I’m sure he’d be fine. I’ve affected people in ways I didn’t see coming…” Yuuki mumbled. 

 

“You’re trying now. That’s all anyone should ask of you.” he said. 

 

Yuuki focused on picking at her food, trying to imagine what happened if Nero really managed to come through. It would reopen doors she thought closed, and if the Anchor’s energy was really still affecting her, was it too much to hope for that she could reopen a door she thought permanently closed? Could she really go back home? Aymeric seemed to be following her trail of thought with her, squeezing her hand loosely. 

 

“If it would make you happy, I wish you all the luck in the world. If there was nothing waiting for you, perhaps I might have found it in me to ask you not to go. I know what’s waiting for you. Your children must miss you…” he sighed. 

 

“This is my home. It will always be, but...I can’t settle here until I know for sure there’s no way back. First, let’s worry about Nero. If he comes through, I’ll worry about Hraesvelgr and how we can secure his aid. Then...I have a war to stop, don’t I?” she sighed, kneading her brow. 

 

“You won’t be alone. You’ll have scores of soldiers, and...do feel free to command me as needed. I trust you know what will need to be done when the time comes.” he said. 

 

“I can’t give orders. Least of all to you, the House of Commons won’t like that. I’ll help as much as I’m able, but defeating Nidhogg and saving Estinien are my priorities. Then...I suspect I may finally have a break, and I can focus on trying to get back…” Yuuki mumbled. 

 

“That man, he seems overly qualified to assist you in that. If he proves reliable, mayhap he might be willing to help further, he seems particularly interested in seeing Cid again.” He suggested. 

 

True, he could be useful, but whereas allowing him unfettered access to her body was already one thing, one very big thing, relying on him to brainstorm a way back was another. If he screwed that up, who could say what he might bring about... 


End file.
